A character expresses some dark thoughts in this chapter. Please don't read if this triggers you. If you message me, I can give you a summary of the chapter instead! Love and hugs to all of you. 💛

...

16 October 1979

Day ??: 16/10/79

Leilani was super frustrated today because she's having more trouble tracking down Greyback. She says it doesn't usually take this long to find him.

There are supposed to be masses of werewolves meeting up with Greyback, which is the entire reason it's so important to get to him in a timely manner.

...

31 October 1979

Remus was finding it increasingly difficult to leave Leilani with the pack during full moons. He would never tell him this because a) she would find this offensive in some way and b) she would tease him relentlessly.

He was used to the teasing as it seemed to be a part of how they interacted day today, but he didn't like the idea of her being mad at him.

Yet, he couldn't stay with the pack during the full moon because Dumbledore had very specifically forbidden this. So, he left with the little belongings that he brought with him and apparated to his flat.

As he was leaving, he thought about the next time he would see the pack. Although it wouldn't be too long, the full moon days seemed to stretch on for an unnecessarily long time. Everything felt like it changed from the time that he saw the pack before the full moon to the time after that. Maybe Remus was just overthinking things.

Leilani refused to move the campsite to a new location until after Remus returned. He guessed this was her way of making sure he actually came back, not that he would abandon her there, to begin with. He had grown far too fond of her to just leave without turning back, whether this is platonic or romantic feelings, he couldn't be too sure.

On one hand, he had just broken up with Mary and it didn't seem fair to her, but then again...

His head full of thoughts capable of drowning him, Remus stepped into the flat that he found full of people. The last time he had seen his friends Sirius had mentioned something about throwing a Halloween party, and Remus should've assumed it would be big because it's Sirius, but he wasn't expecting to run into the entire Order.

Still, he smiled as he made his way through the swarm of dancing people and made a shortcut straight to the shower. He took his time and assumed at least one of his friends had heard of his presence, silently hoping that one of them would have the decency to make him a plate of food.

Sighing, he exited the steamy shower —in his opinion, there was no other way except piping hot to take showers— and surveyed the room. Remus was correct about it being an Order party, everyone in attendance seemed to be a part of the organization.

Lily was talking to Elizabeth White, which surprised him, to say the least. Remus wondered when Elizabeth had become less of a bitch and okay to hang around. He would have to speak to her later.

He assumed that Sirius and James were bouncing around from conversation to conversation as they grew bored quite easily. Peter was probably with them too. Remus would be spending a few days with them because of the full moon, so talking to them could wait as well.

Marlene and Alice were both talking to Frank and the McKinnon brothers. Remus had never gotten to know them very well, so to avoid any awkward introductions, he skipped over chatting with them completely until it was just their friend group.

Mary looked very out of place where she was standing next to Dorcas Meadowes. Remus had met Dorcas before —her being one of James's cousins— and she could talk quite a lot. One might even call her a chatterbox, but that had never deterred her before, so as Mary stood looking very uncomfortable, with her eyes scanning the crowd, Dorcas continued to speak to her.

Remus hadn't had a chance to actually hold a conversation with Mary since they had broken up. He reckoned that trying to break the ice wouldn't be too difficult to do with Mary since they were sort of friends before they had been in a relationship. They could just do the same now, right?

Suddenly nervous about Mary's reaction to seeing him, he walked slowly towards Mary, who downed the last of her drink as Dorcas said her goodbyes.

Upon seeing him, Mary's eyes widened initially, but a smile broke across her face and she pulled him in for a hug.

I really didn't need to be nervous then, did I?

"So, how've ya been?" Remus grinned too as she handed him a glass of some drink. He assumed it was some sort of cheap alcohol that they had bought in bulk.

"Alright, alright, how 'bout you?" Mary answered, yawning in the process.

"The mission is tiring, but so far so good," Remus

"What're the others like?"

He hadn't really talked to many of the other werewolves very much except Leilani. Of course, he assumed they were angry and prejudiced like he had with Leilani, but he hadn't stopped to correct himself on this matter.

It wasn't like he wanted to speak to anyone else though. Leilani was much nicer than one could expect in her situation. She had grown up with snotty parents for seven years and then was practically adopted by Greyback of all people.

"They're nice to me," he finally replied after taking a short trip through memory lane.

"Be careful, Remus," she said.

"Okay, Mary."

...

5 November 1979

Being married in a war challenged Lily and James, to say the least. They didn't see much of each other recently because of how busy the Order had gotten, and when they did, the time was spent comforting one another.

Lily found herself in Sirius's flat with Sirius and Regulus. James had been called out to the ministry for another odd disturbance, which would probably just prove to be a false alarm, again. Remus had just left after Lily had conversed with him for a good half hour.

Time seemed to be flying by. Two days ago was just Sirius's birthday and already that felt like an eternity ago. That affair had been small and the party had been scattered over all hours of the day since everybody's schedules were conflicting, but it had been nice all the same according to Sirius.

"Anybody got any interesting news that's not about the war?" Lily asked, collapsing on the couch next to Regulus.

"Well, apparently Julia Macdonald made the quidditch team-"

"Old news, buddy, Mary was ecstatic when that happened," Sirius interrupted Regulus.

"Anything else happen at Hogwarts?" Lily assumed Regulus had the inside scoop because of Craig.

"Craig says it's quiet, the professors are holding the fort down as well as possible," Regulus responded, not looking up from his crossword puzzle.

"I reckon that's how it should be though," Sirius spoke up again. "How's Craig doing?"

"Pretty well, considering everything, although he's worried about his aunt because she fell ill around a week ago," Regulus continued to converse casually.

"Is she alright?" Lily asked worriedly.

"She should be fine, but Craig worries too much about things in general."

The deafening silence surrounded them once again as Regulus ceased talking. Scratching of Regulus's pencil could be heard on the paper and Sirius appeared to be bouncing a ball, but Lily sat with her thoughts.

"I feel like I haven't seen James in forever," Lily complained.

"Didn't you just see him last night though?" Regulus asked confused.

"Yeah, but I didn't really see him, y'know?" Lily spoke casually, stretching her legs out in front of her.

"Nope, I have no idea what the hell you mean," Regulus appeared to be getting more confused by the minute.

"She means that although she's in his presence, she hasn't— wait... I'm not sure I know what you mean, Lils," Sirius laughed at his own expense.

"James hasn't been himself recently, which I don't blame him for at all obviously, but we're both so caught up in the war that we don't have much time for each other," Lily explained.

"It's a juggling act, Red," Sirius responded.

"I know, but I've never learned how to juggle," Lily sighed in what appeared to be defeat.

"We'll be here for you in the process," Regulus spoke after sitting quietly for the past few minutes.

"Damn right we will," Sirius nodded in confirmation.

...

12 November 1979

A few days after Remus had returned to the pack, he found himself sitting next to Leilani at the fire. The scene was a familiar one, as they had continuously found themselves sitting around the fire at night, but this time it was a more somber occasion.

Leilani had finally been able to track down Greyback which meant they were due to meet up with him in a few days. Secretly, she had been hoping to never find Greyback, but, alas, that didn't seem to work in her favor.

"He's evil, Remus," Leilani spoke monotonously while poking the ground with a stick.

"Who is?" Remus asked for clarification.

"Greyback."

"Well, yes, of course, he is," Remus raised his eyebrows, unsure of where this was going.

She knew that he knew that Greyback was a horrid man already. Why did she feel that she needed to reiterate this fact again? He was not due to forget this anytime soon.

"He's going to encourage everyone else to kill. He preaches strength in numbers and world domination-"

"C'mon, get up," Remus interrupted her and stood up just as abruptly.

"Wha— why?" Leilani asked skeptically.

"We're gonna go dancing," Remus said as if it was obvious.

The forest they occupied was uncomfortably close to a town that was packed with all sorts of stores. Leilani had put Remus on scouting duty before they entered the town —apparently, he looked the most non-werewolf— so he had made a mental note of all the places he wanted to check out while they were still there.

"Dancing? We can't just leave the pack here," Leilani said as if the idea was completely absurd.

"Why not? They're capable of looking after themselves for a little while," Remus concluded.

She grumbled as she stood up from her place around the fire and took Remus's hand that he held out for her. The trip passed by quickly and they walked into the bar, Leilani being more hesitant than Remus.

Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground

"C'mon! We've got to dance to this one," Remus said laughing when her eyes widened.

I said, young man, 'cause you're new in town
There's no need to be unhappy

Camping for nearly her entire life had not allowed Leilani to immerse herself into pop culture as other wizards had. She remembered only being able to listen to really old music before she was bitten too, so even when she wasn't camping she had been sheltered from the outside happenings.

Young man, there's a place you can go
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough

"Remus! I think you've forgotten that I don't know how!" She shouted over the music.

You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find

"Watch me, alright?" Remus replied, making sure that her eyes were on him.

Many ways to have a good time

Her eyes wouldn't have been able to leave him even if she wanted them to. As the song entered the chorus, he laughed especially loud at who knows what —probably the look on her face— and began to dance along with everyone else in the room except, of course, Leilani.

He held up his arms in the shape of a 'y,' followed quickly by a 'm,' and then a 'c,' and finally an 'a.' While holding up the letters, he jumped along with the beat of the music and yelled the lyrics.

"So it's just the letters?" Leilani asked just in case.

They have everything for you men to enjoy

"Yeah, simple enough, right?" Remus said, making sure she understood.

"Right."

This time, when the chorus came back around, Leilani found herself trying to keep up with Remus by shaping the letters with her arms. She wasn't perfect at it at first, which caused some embarrassment on her part, but by the time the song ended, Leilani could shape the letters on beat in her sleep.

After a few more rounds of improv dancing, Remus and Leilani left lighter than before. She wasn't sure how or why, but dancing with Remus had caused her to forget her woes. However, she couldn't live in the moment forever, and her problems seemed to crash down around her as they sat on a bench outside the bar.

"I have never had that much fun ever, not even before..." Leilani trailed off after feeling a harsh wave of sadness wash over her.

Feeling numb is like a drought. There's no emotion there, and if it is there, you're unable to understand it. Day after day you may recognize that you're not doing well, but you don't have enough energy to fix that.

Leilani reckoned that she had been numb all this time. Remus had just been a catalyst for the emotion to return to her. Maybe that's why she liked him so much, he made her feel.

She was no longer the empty person that she once was. Feeling sad was better than not feeling at all, yet she did not welcome the tears. In fact, Leilani desperately tried to stop herself from crying in front of Remus.

"Showing emotion is human, I don't mind," Remus pulled her into his chest.

Leilani couldn't remember the last time she had cried in front of someone. Maybe this was the first time that had ever happened, but Remus didn't make it awkward like she was taught it should be.

"I'm trapped, Remus, trapped," Leilani sniffled and wiped the tear tracks from her face.

"I'll help you get out, 'Lani," Remus promised, growing far more tired.

"How?"

"I don't know yet, love."

12/11/79

Leilani, the leader of the pack, does not want to be with the pack any longer. She has also found where Greyback is located and estimated that we will join together with him in less than a week.

...

17 November 1979

The sky above them darkened as the trees thickened around them. There were no signs of life except for Leilani's pack. It appeared like all the birds, snakes, and bugs thought better of entering this part of the forest.

Leilani wished she could be like one of the bugs and turn back the other day. Yet, she walked in front of twenty other werewolves with Remus by her side.

He had been quiet for a while. Was that a sign that he knew they were close to Greyback?

She hadn't thought about what it would mean for him to see Greyback again. The last time he had seen him was probably the worst day of his life, and just looking into Greyback's eyes was enough to relive that.

She wasn't sure if it was more to reassure herself or him, but either way she took his hand in hers and squeezed it. Remus squeezed it back without making eye contact as they heard loud shouting in front of them.

Taking in a short breath, she picked up her pace to push her way through the crowd of werewolves. Leilani was supposed to make her presence known to Greyback and then set up with her pack in the same general area.

"Leilani! It's nice of you to join us!" Greyback boomed in a loud voice.

He was surrounded by werewolves as large as him —which was quite large because he was a massive man — but this did not deter her. Leilani was aware that she was the only woman pack leader.

She strode up to them with as much confidence as she could muster. She meant to just exchange a few words with Greyback and his clan, but Greyback had a different idea completely. As soon as she was close enough, he embraced her.

Greyback embraced her.

She felt dirty, extremely dirty. Leilani could smell the alcohol and blood washed over him, and she desperately wanted out of there. She didn't even want to think about how they acquired the alcohol. It looked like the expensive stuff too...

Her own blood drained from her face as she watched them drink even more. Greyback usually addressed the pack as a whole, so Leilani would just have to wait until he managed to quiet everyone down.

Suddenly, sparks flew in the air, causing everyone to silence immediately. Greyback was the one who sent the sparks in the air. Leilani tried to stop herself from pondering how many people were killed in order for him to steal that wand.

"Here we are, in the mighty Brecon Beacons National Park, and now I can say that we hold powerful unity," Greyback paused for applause. "Together we can accomplish so much more than we can divided. We'll squash the wizards that are beneath us, and show the world who's really in charge."

Leilani felt faint. The crowd's applause grew louder and longer as Greyback continued to speak. After he delivered his speech, they dispersed and went to their designated corners.

How could everyone here be so blind? Greyback held an alliance with one of the darkest wizards ever. He was so clearly rallying them behind him so that the Dark Lord could use them to his advantage.

One thing was clear to Leilani though, she had never really been understood by anyone here. Greyback was using her ability to lead to his advantage. Of course, if she left, he would just find a new, capable pack leader, but she had been brainwashed into believing he actually liked her.

He never cared about her well being once.

17/11/79

We've met up with Greyback and the rest of the werewolves today in the Breacon Beacons National Park. He is preaching propaganda that could lead to heavy deaths. "The wizards are beneath us." We usually don't stay in one spot for too long, but Leilani said earlier that we're setting up permanent camp here and venturing around without our stuff.

It didn't take long to find Remus's tent as it was in the most secluded area possible. Her hands shook as she slowly opened the tent and saw Remus's tired face smile softly.

She sat beside him and pushed a journal out of the way. For a moment, Leilani kept up her placid façade. Then, when it felt as if she wouldn't ever feel the warm rays of sunshine ever again, that she would never make it another day because of the emotions crowding her brain, she broke.  

"I wish my parents had put me down," Leilani said with a croaky voice.

"Don't think that way, 'Lani, we'll get you out of this somehow," Remus near scolded her.

"That's all I want, I can't do this for much longer," Leilani shook her head in defeat.

...

1 December 1979

Leilani felt so much more lonely without Remus around. There was a time before she had met him, but that was becoming so difficult to remember. She had been an independent person since she could remember, so why was it all of a sudden so hard to function without Remus?

Her dependence on him scared her. She felt the need to push him away, but there was no way in hell she could do that to as good of a person as Remus. If he had been different, then maybe that would be a more  viable solution.

She had acquired the title of pack leader after a particular tough full moon when she was just sixteen. The original pack leader had fallen to some sort of wild animal, and Leilani was the only one brave enough to challenge the wild animal.

They had accepted her as the pack leader immediately despite her gender and size.

When Leilani was little, her mother focused on teaching her etiquette skills and how to act like a "proper young lady." This was, of course, in preparation to wed at a young age while she attended Hogwarts.

Leilani sat at the dining room table with her chin held high. She wore an uncomfortable knee length dress and had her hair put in precise braids.

Her mother sat across from her with pursed lips and an almost evil glint in her eyes. (Well, Leilani thought it looked evil, but her mother had punished her harshly when Leilani had pointed out that nobody else's parents gave them bruises, and the glint had been there ever since.)

In front of them was two plates and an abundance of silverware. Something about the real silver in the silverware caused Leilani to want to act out. Maybe it was because she preferred pretending that her parents didn't have as much money as they did and didn't use it for the things that they did.

As prim as possible was her mother's motto. Leilani hated every single word of it. She should be running outside in the fields chasing butterflies and her dreams. Instead, she was stuck inside learning what the difference was between a dinner fork and a salad fork.

"Leilani Grace!" Her mother shouted after she knocked over a glass of water with her elbow. "Is that how we act?"

"No," Leilani sighed dejectedly.

How much she wished she could be outside climbing a tree in her play clothes.

Leilani reckoned that her spite against her parents had driven her to be as rebellious as possible. They probably wouldn't approve of being pack leader, so, perhaps that's what drove her to become one.

The clouds shifted in the forest and suddenly a stream of moonlight hit the group of werewolves. This was the worst part, but what came after was the most freeing feeling in the world.

A hundred different screams filled the once empty forest simultaneously. What birds had been occupying the area still fled as quickly as their wings could fly them away.

Bones crunched, joints readjusted, and muscles were altered. The heavy breathing of each werewolf filled the space in between each tree like worms moving through the soil underground.

The pack moved together throughout the night, subconsciously knowing their boundaries. Even though Greyback had preached that the Ministry could not control them for any longer, they all knew what would happen if there was a mass werewolf siting.

Chaos.

...

11 December 1979

Making her way through the familiar corridors, brought back nostalgic feelings. The memories fled back as if she were an empty bucket and the memories were water.

She had sent a letter to McGonagall asking for her to arrange a meeting with Dumbledore on Halloween night after seeing Remus at the party. For a while she had been wondering whether picking up a side job would be a good idea, but speaking with him casually made her decide that it was alright if she moved on. It was all for the best.

On her way to his office, she bumped into someone and right as she was about to apologize, she realized it was her sister. Julia was accompanied by Lincoln and Annie.

"Mary! What're you doing here?" Julia jumped into a hug with Mary.

"I have a meeting with Dumbles, which I'm about to be later for," Mary laughed at her own expense.

"Oh! Well, we'll see you in a few weeks for break then!" Julia pushed her sister on her way.

"Bye J," Mary yelled over the surrounding students' chatter.

"Bye Mary!"

Checking her wrist watch, she had two minutes to make it up to Dumbledore's office. At a brisk pace, she made it with a few seconds to spare.

"Miss Macdonald, you asked to see me?" Dumbledore said as she sat down across from him.

"Yeah, I was just wondering if I would be able to get a job outside of the Order. I was worried it might interfere too much," Mary explained.

"No, no, not at all! I encourage you to explore your options outside the Order, but on the planned missions you must make sure you attend if needed," Dumbledore spoke clearly.

"Of course!"

...

20 December 1979

It wasn't everyday a telephone ringing woke you up. This was the case for Lily, who rushed to the phone still feeling drowsy.

"Hello?"

"Lily! Finally someone answers the damn phone!"

"Oh! Hey, Frank! I think everyone else is working right now actually!"

"The Order sure keeps them busy."

"Indeed. What can I do for ya?"

"Alice is sick and I just wanted someone to keep her company while I go to the Ministry. Don't feel obligated to-"

"Of course I'll keep Alice company! I haven't seen her in ages anyway! What's wrong?"

"She's been off color for the past week actually, I'm wondering if she should be checked out at St. Mungo's."

"I'll stay with her today, don't you worry!"

"Thank you, Lily."

"No problem, Frank!"

After washing up and changing her clothes, Lily apparated over to the Longbottom residence. They lived in a quaint village with other wizards around a half hour away from London.

She knocked on the door and was met at the door by a grimacing Frank.

"Thanks again-"

"Don't worry about it! Go off to work!" Lily interrupted him quickly.

She was not burdened by the fact that she was spending the day tending to a sick friend at all. Besides, she had wanted to become a healer anyway.

Lily quickly found herself in the bathroom of the home since Alice also found herself there. She had been up throughout the night throwing up.

Lily could tell this without Alice actually saying anything because the smell was atrocious. Even though someone had clearly cleaned the bathroom and sprayed it with something, the scent was still pungent to Lily. It was like her sense of smell had improved somehow.

"How're feeling, Ali?" Lily asked gently, crouching by where Alice was sitting on the floor.

"I think I'm pregnant," she croaked out.

"You what!?!" Lily got taken by surprise.

"Pregnant, Lily, I think I might be pregnant! Can you take me out to get one of those muggle tests?" Alice reiterated sounding very tired.

"There're potions you can make too that-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I just thought this would be more efficient," Alice stood up with the help of Lily.

Lily obliged to Alice's wishes and apparated them both to the first muggle convenience store that came to mind. This might not have been the best idea on their part because as soon as they apparated successfully, Alice threw up on the sidewalk. Lily felt a little sick herself, but just chalked it up to the apparition.

"Can we get more than one test because if it comes back positive I'm going to want to take a thousand more?" Alice asked quietly.

"I was just going to suggest that," Lily said as she slid around seven tests in her basket.

After paying, they walked outside and Alice prepared herself for apparating back. The trip back wasn't nearly as bad as the shock of the first one. Alice appeared a little green, but she didn't throw up.

"Did you tell Frank yet?" Lily posed the question with a raised eyebrow genuinely curious.

"No, if I'm not pregnant I don't want to freak him out over nothing," Alice answered logically.

She supposed if she wasn't pregnant that she would also tell Frank this story and they would laugh about it during dinner. Yet, if she actually was, they would have to have a more serious conversation.

They traveled back into the bathroom and Alice sighed as she took a test from the plastic bag. It felt like she was holding her fate in her hands when it was really just a box storing a test.

"Will you take one with me?" Alice's voice sounded scared and small.

"Sure, why not?" Lily grabbed a box too.

Lily was much more nonchalant about the whole testing process than Alice was as well. She didn't treat it as a big deal because she knew she wasn't pregnant, unlike Alice.

They waited for the instructed five minutes to be up, which had sent Alice into a frenzy pondering how likely it was that she was pregnant. Could it be a stomach bug.

They grabbed the tests on the count of three and were both rendered speechless by their results momentarily.

"Lily! It's positive!" Alice spoke with a soft smile on her face.

Perhaps she was just meant to have kids now. Her and Frank would be able to figure it out along the way.

"Alice! Alice! Mine says positive too!" Lily said in a rushed manner.

"What the-"

"I'm taking another one."

...

Author's Note:

Song: Y.M.C.A.
By: Village People

And so it begins...

It took me forever to figure out how to write the pack full moon scene because I really wanted to get it right. I hope what I came up with in the end was alright!

What quidditch position do you think Julia should play? I can't decide!

Lmao anyways thanks for reading
-teddy🚀