for tori

❂ name ❂
eleanor [nellie] tonkin

❂ role ❂
crying over spilled ink ; the bridget jones

❂ sexuality ❂
bisexual

❂ faceclaim ❂
danielle rose russel

❂ personality ❂
ah, nellie. what to say about nellie?

well, first off, she's a hot mess.

she's awkward, the type to trip and fall down the stairs in front of the new hot kid at school. she's already done so five times this past year, just usually without a hot new kid. nellie is often walking around with some sort of bandage or wrapping—she's so physically and mentally clumsy that she just can't keep put one foot in front of the other and expect to make it through unscathed.

the words coming out of her mouth are clumsy too. think of word vomit, but there are too many words, and some just aren't able to fit through her mouth, and so her sentences are jumbled messes half the time. especially when public speaking—nellie can't, she just can't. she's awkward and tries to be cool but reliably fails. and in conversation, she's always a bit abrasive. she says too much. she's rude, inconsiderate of others.

her backpack and locker are always a mess—scraps of paper falling out of everywhere, all abandoned lists signifying her attempt to be more organized and normal. she's never successful—nellie is rarely successful at anything.

  but there is one thing that nellie can do well—write.

she can write circles around almost anyone in her class. with a pencil on her hand, she feels like she can finally think clearly. her hands moves the pencil and the pencil writes what she's been trying to say all along. it's no wonder she shines in the school newspaper. when she writes, she's confident. sure. she wishes she could put some of that confidence into her actions. it's why she started keeping a diary, thinking maybe it would help her keep it together. all it has seemed to do is chronicle her failures.

nellie, despite her messy life and state of mind, is always well-meaning. she is a good person, an exceedingly good one; she cares deeply for her friends and family. she is selfless and kind and has no reason to be malicious to anyone. sometimes she is, of course—and she can hold a mean grudge, too.

she's trying to be better. she's trying to quit smoking, trying not to drink to heavily, trying not to be herself because herself is such a complete and utter failure.

at least she's good at accepting that.

so sad, so sad
by varsity

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