BECAUSE YOU'RE SO YOU !

☀︎

ALEX SPENT THE REST OF HER NIGHT LOCKED IN HER BEDROOM. Not even the calls and pounding on the door from Dustin could get her to come out. The fear that was growing inside her was too distracting. The voices she heard, they belonged to a monster.

She began pacing her room once the knocking on her door stopped. She held her hands over her ears, wanting that voice in her head to disappear. Not even the music that was blasting in her room could make it any quieter.

"Okay, you think you're crazy?" she mumbled to herself. "Crazier shit has happened. Maybe I'm sick. Yeah, I'm sick." She tried to convince herself but it was no use. Even the whispers of the monster had toyed in her head.

The voice started speaking, his words still unclear to her as they were in Billy's car. She tried to tell herself it was Billy that had been talking to her. Yet the way he looked at her like she was crazy, it couldn't have been him.

She stopped in her tracks, turning off her music and listening. Double checking her room was empty, she felt her heart speed up like it was bound to leap out of her chest at any moment. Flashing red lights, like lightening lit up her room from the window. Alex, slowly backed away from the window. Goosebumps rose on her arms instantly, becoming almost painful when they emerged.

Alex backed herself into the wall opposite of the window, sinking down the floor beside her desk. Even though she couldn't see anything, she felt like something dark and evil was looming over her, wrapping itself tightly around her brain.

Instantly, everything in her room flashed into what it would look like in the Upside Down. Alex pulled her knees to her chest quickly burying her head into her knees.

"I can't go back there, please," she begged to no one in particular. She squeezed her eyes shut hard, knowing if she kept them shut she wouldn't see the Upside Down engulfing her. Whatever this thing was, it wanted her back there and she didn't want to go.

"Please go away," she whispered over and over again though knowing full well it would have no affect. Nothing was going to change. Nothing was going to bring her back to her reality.

Loud knocks came from the window across the room, scaring Alex, making her look up. She was no longer in the Upside Down. It had all disappeared just like that.

"I had the most uncomfortable dinner ever," Steve groaned as he climbed through her window once he had it opened. Tonight him and Nancy had headed over to the Holland's house for a dinner. However, the dinner had gone sideways fast when the Holland's had explained their move. They needed money for a private investigator to find Barb, and their house was the first to go.

While he had went to close the window behind him, he had played over the horrendous night, allowing for an unamused laugh to escape his lips. Still, he had been more than unaware to Alex curled into a ball beside her bed, sitting in fear.

Shutting her curtains, Steve had let out a sigh as he continued on. "I know it's late but I needed someone sane to talk to. Besides, we didn't even see each other at school. You ditched with Jonathan after I came to meet you." As he had turned to question her further, his words were cut short as he had finally taken notice to the strange behavior. A small frown had formed as he made his way over to her. Kneeling down, he looked her over carefully as he laid a hand on her shoulder. "Whoa, are you okay?"

She broke from her thoughts the moment his hand laid on her. Her eyes were only settled on him for a brief moment before they darted around the room in a panic. When nothing had shown, she hung her head, wrapping her arms around her legs as she brought them closer to her chest.

Steve had slowly fallen down into the spot beside her, pulling his hand back as he rested beside her. His eyes had settled down on watching his feet as he felt a pain of guilt. A part of him had felt that if he hadn't distanced himself from Alex this year, maybe he would've been there for her before tonight.

With a small sigh of defeat, Alex lifted her head long enough to rest it on his shoulder. His company was a perfect distraction that she felt she needed more than ever. "What happened at dinner?"

"Alex, we don't have to talk about the stupid dinner," he began quietly. Before coming over, this dinner was all he wanted to talk about. Tonight, he wanted that time to talk freely without worrying about Nancy taking offense to his need for normal. Now, he wasn't so sure it was what he should ask for from Alex.

"What happened at dinner?" She had repeated her question once more, hoping for Steve to allow her to change the subject. All she had wanted was for a simple distraction, even if that meant listening to Steve go on about a dinner that she truly didn't care much for.

"Barbs parents are selling their house to hire a private investigator and the KFC was pretty good... finger lickin' good." His words had caused both to manage a small laugh. After the demogorgon had attacked the Byers last year, the two had rarely spent time together and to now hear each other laugh was a breath of fresh air.

"I really should've warned you... they told me the other day," she laughed.

"Damn you, Henderson," Steve sighed, smiling at the thought of her smiling, all because he had decided to show up tonight and say the littlest things he could say just to make her laugh. "You don't have to talk about it now or ever... but I want you to know I'm still here for you. I know I haven't actually been there for you lately and I'm sorry." He squeezed her hand lightly to reassure her that he had been there, and would continue to be.

She lifted her head up from his shoulder and slipped her hand out of his, the opposite of what Steve thought she would do. Something seemed off again. She wasn't smiling as her mind wandered off. Turning to him, she looked at him with a sadness in her eyes. "Why do people at school call me a freak? And don't say it's because I hang out with Jonathan because Nancy does too and people love her. Everyone loves Nancy."

"Because you're so... you."

"Thanks Steve, that made me feel so much better," she responded sarcastically.

"What I mean is... you are you. You don't hang out with assholes like Tommy and Carol to fit in. You do whatever you want, you say whatever you want. You wear whatever you want. You are so you, it's annoying. You're a freak because you aren't afraid to be yourself. You're everything people at school wish they could be."

The corners of Alex's lips turned up into a smile as she listened to him be so genuine. It had been hard to see this side of Steve, especially at school when popularity had become more important than anything else. "It's really hard to stay mad at you. You always know the right thing to say, it's annoying." Alex stood up on her weak legs, glancing at the window once more. The word was normal, just as it always had been but the goosebumps that raised on her arms had told her otherwise. There was always something lurking out there.

Despite her heart racing, her sweaty palms and the sickening feeling inside her, she walked towards her window in wonder.

"Wanna look at the stars? Nightly tradition we haven't done in a long time," Steve asked hopefully, watching her as she stared out the window. She let her eyes look over every star in the sky, seeing them as little eyes staring down at her in anger. Something out there wanted her and she wasn't sure she would ever see the sky the same. Deep down, Alex knew this was only the beginning.

"No thanks," she said slowly, pulling her curtains shut tight so no sight of the sky was able to peek through.

"What, scared of the dark now?" Steve teased, moving to her bed now. She watched him closely, her back to her window now. She wanted to tell him what she saw and what she felt. But whatever was out there was demanding her not to. For some reason she felt compelled to listen. In a way, with her back to the window, she felt like that monster in her head was reaching through her window and placing it's hand on her shoulder for comfort. A comfort she desperately clung onto.

"I was joking..." Steve said quietly when he noticed the look in Alex's eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"You know, everyone keeps asking me that today..." she smiled at him but now he wasn't happy to see her smile. He knew she was faking it for him so he'd stop asking questions.

"Well, I care about you more than those people combined."

"I care about you a lot too," she said softly.

"You look exhausted so I'm gonna go." Steve sighed as he got up from her bed and reaching for the curtains to open the window to leave.

"Wait," she stuck a hand out to get him to stop, luckily he did just as his hands grazed the curtains. "Can you stay the night?" The two hadn't spent the night together since Steve started dating Nancy. The thought of sleeping in the same bed as Steve, as innocent as it was, always felt like it was a betrayal to Nancy, but now, Alex hoped she would understand her need to be with someone.

"Absolutely," he said almost instantly, dropping his hand down. Alex sighed in relief that he didn't open the curtain. "Toss me a pillow, I'll sleep on the floor."

"Wait, really? You can sleep in my bed with me... unless you're worried about Nancy. She knows we wouldn't ever..." Alex's voice trailed off as she grew uncomfortable talking to Steve about them being anything more than they already were.

"Just don't try anything funny, Henderson." He pointed a finger to her in warning, grinning excitedly as he flung himself down on her bed. The moment he had hit, the headboard behind him had slammed hard into the wall causing a loud thud that would most likely be heard elsewhere in the house.

"If you wake up my mom, I swear I'll kill you before she can kill the both of us." This made Steve throw the covers over himself in defeat, waiting for Alex to join him. One quick look towards her window, the red sky back once more, pouring out of every crack that was visible and she had been glad Steve had stayed with her. Refusing to give into the fear, Alex held her eyes shut for a moment, pushing away the monster in her mind before she made her way to her bed.

Climbing underneath the covers, she put her back to Steve. She felt her side warm up as his arm draped over her, pulling her in closer to him. "I thought you said nothing funny," she laughed, forgetting all about the sky. Now her heart was beating faster due to the boy holding her close to him.

"We know you can't resist me," he teased but he never did pull away. Closing his eyes, he tried to ignore that his heart had raced more than it ever did with Nancy or that he had wished all his nights could end just like this. Yet, he still told himself he was in love with another girl and there was nothing that was going to change that for now.