IT WILL ONLY EVER
BE MEMORIES !

☀︎

IT HAD BEEN A NIGHTMARE AS ALEX HELD ONTO HER NECK, BRUISES ALREADY APPEARING. Nothing had slowed her breathing down as she began to shake from the fear of a close death. Crawling over to Mike, she had leaned beside him, flipping him onto his back. She whispered his name in a weak voice, hoping for him to wake from his unconscious state. With a silent sob, she laid her head on his chest wishing she could have been there for all the kids as she had promised. Now two of them had laid on the floor of the cold hallways, hurt and unable to wake and the third was taken away. No matter what she had done, she couldn't protect them.

A cold wisp of air had blown across the back of her neck and she shut her eyes in despair. He was coming for her and she was unsure how she could save Eleven. She had made a promise to herself since that night in the woods when it had poured and they had come across the young girl with no shoes and a shaved head, scared and hopeless, that she would protect her at all costs. When that time finally came to do that, she had lost.

Alex slowly got to her knees, using the wall as a guide as she stumbled down the halls. Whether or not she had felt as if she failed Eleven, she had to try and keep pushing forward. To give up entirely would be to give up on her. She couldn't do that when Eleven had already done so much.

Everything ached and every part of her body had grown weak as the Mind Flayer had ripped through her mind. He was on a path of destruction. He had plans, but as always his plans did not always go as he had wished. He had wanted Alex for himself. She had told Joyce Byers that she would do anything to protect Will even if that meant taking him on. He gave her that wish when he had left a piece of him inside of her. That monster made of flesh was not the only creation he had made. Unknowingly, he had created another.

She may have not marched in with her head held high, but she fought on. She had pushed through her pain and suffering for all those around her. When she had entered the center of the Starcourt Mall, she had held a hand above her eyes from the blinding lights as the fireworks had rained down on the Mind Flayer. He had screeched in pain, unable to find it in himself to push through the explosions around him. He needed Billy Hargrove. He needed him to keep Eleven in place so that when the explosions stopped, he could truly end it on his terms.

That never stopped anyone from fighting for her. The group above on the second floor continued to light one firework after the other. They truly wanted to go out with a bang.

Letting the door close behind her, Alex stumbled forward, lowering her hand as she grew used to the rain of colors around the mall. Her eyes stayed focused on Billy as he hovered over Eleven. There was a broken piece of him inside, one that only Eleven could bring out to hold back the Mind Flayer. That was the real him and she could see it. Eyes traveling up, she looked at the group who slowly began to run out of fireworks the more that they threw.

"Alex!" Lucas Sinclair had sent another firework down onto the Mind Flayer when he had spotted her coming in. "Get the hell up here! Get out of there!"

The Mind Flayer had let out a roar. One that had the ground beneath them shake from such a force. Alex had made a promise that she would throw herself in front of anything to protect Steve Harrington. Now with the Mind Flayer looming over the one girl that could kill him, she knew if she didn't step forward, he would die along with the rest of the world.

She held her breath as she continued forward. She had turned that pain and suffering into a rage as she mustered up the strength to finally hold her head high as she headed towards the Mind Flayer.

Billy looked at her as he got to his feet. It was a small smile, but it was him. She called his name, but he had turned his back to her. This was his chance to prove to those around him that he could change and he truly wanted to. He was an asshole and he had messed up in many ways, this time, however, he wanted to be different. He was hurting because of this monster just as they all had and to put himself in front of it for them meant something to him. They were good people, someone he wished he could have been a long time ago.

The Mind Flayer was not one to accept such a betrayal. Billy Hargrove was a failed host just as all the rest before him. When he had sent an arm towards Billy, ready to remove him from his path to Eleven, Billy had caught it. His screams had filled the mall as he pushed against it.

Max and Mike had found themselves standing in the doorway as the events occurred in front of them. They were frozen in fear to see Billy taking on a monster he stood no chance against. But he wasn't alone. Alex Henderson had proved she was a fighter, but that did not mean she didn't have to prove herself further. That pounding in the back of her head, that ringing in her ears, and the blood that poured out her nose were never a sign of weakness. The Mind Flayer had made a home in her mind, unaware of the consequences of what that could do to a person. She just needed to learn how to use it against it.

Now she knew it was a sign of strength. It was something deeper than pain. It was a chance at killing the very thing that tried to destroy her. That pain was quick to turn into anger as she started to believe in herself. She was not unworthy because of what he had done to her.

A scream of anger had come from her as she held her hand out to the monster just as Eleven had done all this time. That arm that fought against Billy had begun to quiver and the Mind Flayer roared while she maintained her focus on destroying it. It was a rare moment for him, but he was terrified. He couldn't even begin to understand what he had done to himself when he had left a piece of him behind in Alex Henderson.

That arm continued to quiver in pain before a final snap had rung out and it had finally given way creating an explosion of the flesh it was made out of. Billy's hands fell in exhaustion with the pressure off of him. He looked over to Alex as she stuck her other hand out, darkness falling upon her eyes as she held two of the Mind Flayers' arms at bay with a power she could never imagine she would possess.

Had he still been lurking somewhere in her mind, she hoped the Mind Flayer could hear how he had no longer caused her pain. That all of this had been his fault if he had not chosen the wrong person to use. Had he left her mind the moment Dustin held a flame to her, he would have gotten exactly what he had wanted after all. He created his own demise.

There was one thing the Mind Flayer did know, she could not do it all alone. Creating more arms to send out, he had brought on more than she could take on. She already was growing exhausted as she held back two arms, using all her strength to break them apart when she could.

More arms shot out, coming after Billy just as he had wanted. His anger for the betrayal lived on and he needed to end at least that. Billy could only hold onto one arm and Alex could not stop them all from coming for him and herself. When more arms were created, they had taken ahold of Billy's side, lifting him in the air and the more Alex had destroyed, he had another prepared to go. The Mind Flayer was growing weak with every explosion of his arms, but he kept pushing just as she had.

Screaming in agony, Alex had tried to keep up, feeling her knees grow weak with every bit of power she used inside her. She was just as determined as the Mind Flayer to keep fighting, but determination could only get her so far. She was new to this all. Unlike Eleven, she had not had these powers for her whole life. This was only her first experience and it was draining.

Ready to end one of his failed hosts, another arm had come out and with Alex preoccupied holding onto the ones pushing against her powers to come to her, he had taken his chance. Sending it towards Billy's chest, he aimed for his heart, taking that last bit of life from him. Changed man or not, Billy Hargrove would not get to see passed this very day. It was the end of the line for him and soon enough, it could be for Alex Henderson.

The Mind Flayer had pulled out his arm from his chest, letting the blood pour from Billy while the life drained out of him, and for that moment, Alex had hesitated. She couldn't save everyone. She screamed his name out as his body fell to the floor, unable to accept that of everything she had gone through, she couldn't do this one thing. That moment of break was an opening for the Mind Flayer. That smallest bit of ease up on her powers had him itching to attack.

Sending his arms out towards her, he had grabbed onto her sides before she could find it within herself to take that anger of Billy's death to use against him. She screamed in pain, feeling the tears finally spill out of her eyes as her insides burned from the way he dug into her sides. Warm blood had begun to pool out of her wounds and even through this, she had to continue until the gate closed-- even if that meant her dying in the process.

There was one other promise made that night. Steve Harrington would throw himself in harm's way for her had it come down to it. Now was not any different. He was quick on his feet as he raced down the escalators. It wasn't much, but he had grabbed ahold of a broken pole as he raced her way.

As the Mind Flayer lifted her into the air, the pain had become all too unbearable. Her arms fell to her side and the Mind Flayer had seen that he had one. The pesky girl that fought against him when he was just a mere shadow in her mind had finally given up. With a free arm out, the screech of the hand had been desperate to attack and sink its teeth into her heart and end it once and for all. It pulled back and with a quick snap, launched itself forward on the pathway to her heart.

The one thing about the Mind Flayer was that he had underestimated a certain person. Steve Harrington was supposed to be this cocky boy that didn't possess the strength to win a fight. What he didn't know was that Steve was much more than that. To underestimate him was a big mistake.

Steve raced forward and just before that hand could sink its teeth into Alex, Steve had jumped in front of it, holding the pole out in front of him. Wrapping around the pole, the hand of the Mind Flayer had pushed forward and the Mind Flayer roared in anger. This was his chance to finally kill her and of all people, Steve Harrington had stopped him. He wouldn't be able to hold it back forever and maybe he'd die in the process, but this was going to be worth it.

He had stood toe-to-toe with a demogorgon back in November 1983 for her and this year, he had stood against the Mind Flayer. No matter how hard she pushed or screamed, Steve was not giving in to the Mind Flayer. Not tonight, not ever.

Closing the gate was the only way this could all end for them. Nothing else was going to kill the Mind Flayer and they had used everything they could to slow him down. And with that heavy heart, Joyce Byers had shut her eyes as she used everything in her power to turn the two keys. Once they turned, the machine keeping that gate open would explode and everything would end once and for all. It would come at a cost, however.

The moment those keys had clicked into place, the Mind Flayer had snarled feeling that power once inside drain out of him. Trying to keep himself alive, he had pulled his arms back, freeing Alex Henderson from his grip. Stumbling around the center of the mall, he howled, fighting for his last few moments of life. This was the end of him. There was nothing that was going to keep him on his feet. In defeat, he had roared in pain one last time as his body hit the floor with a thud, letting the dust settle around him.

Wide-eyed and terrified, Steve dropped the pole to the ground in front of him. His breath was shaky as he quickly turned around to find Alex. Laying on the floor, blood had pooled around her sides from the open wounds. He fell to his knees, placing his hand on her sides, hoping that it was enough to keep her from bleeding out. "Alex," he whispered. "Alex, are you alive?"

Finally letting out a groan, Alex had laid a hand over his. There was nothing but pain and weakness within her. her eyes slowly opened and she smiled. He couldn't believe it, but she was genuine in the smile she gave him. "Oh, my god, Henderson, you're alive," he whispered.

Caught in a laugh, Alex shut her eyes once again, "Did you see that shit?"

He couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Yeah, I saw. What the hell? You kicked ass."

Taking her other hand, she reached out for him, holding his cheek in her hand, "You saved me. Harrington, you kick ass."

He shook his head, "I held it back with a stupid pole. Total bullshit."

"We don't say that word," she reminded him. Closing her eyes, she felt as his forehead rested on hers. Thankful was beyond what he had felt to know she was alive. Somehow she had managed the impossible once again. "Don't leave me," she whispered.

Steve laughed as he fought back the tears that threatened to come out. Even if they were tears of joy, he couldn't let her see that it pained him to see her in this state. He needed to be strong so that for this moment, she didn't have to be. "I'm never leaving," he assured her softly.

It was a promise he was sure to keep, one she could always count on. Then she began to finally let that pain come out as she sobbed. Forcing herself up no matter how badly she had hurt, she leaned into Steve with him holding her in his arms. She couldn't save everyone and she would not be able to forgive herself. Even if they had won, they lost in ways that would continue to live with them.

_____

When Dr. Sam Owens had arrived, he had brought with him every one that could have helped the small group in Hawkins. They were too late when they came to the mall to find that it had all ended without them. All they could do was promise that every Russian involved in the incident at Starcourt would be found and pay the price. That did not do much for them. What happened was done and they were far too broken to care.

Sitting in an ambulance, Steve and Alex had a blanket wrapped around one another as she rested her head on his shoulder. Everyone had stopped by to check on her and share their amazement in what she had done. Some had come over with kind, gentle takes on the matter, asking about how she was holding up, like Nancy and Max. Others had taken a playful approach, hoping that seeing Alex smile would mean things would be okay, like Lucas Sinclair. With each of them, she had put a smile on her face, assuring she was okay or playing into their antics when in reality she was exhausted. She wanted to be home in bed.

Approaching the ambulance the two had sat in, Robin came over with a small smile. "Hey, Henderson, Jonathan's looking for you."

Alex said nothing as she moved her way out of the ambulance. It had pained her with every bit of movement but she was determined to see him. Robin had kept her head low as Alex had passed but she couldn't let her walk away so easily. "Hey," she called over her shoulder. Alex had stopped, looking back at Robin with a questioning look.

Walking back up to her, Robin was hesitant, unable to meet her eyes. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Alex gently, closing her eyes. She couldn't find the right words to say to her. She was thankful but how to express that had been puzzling. Robin was certain that Alex didn't need to hear that someone had been thankful for her nearly killing herself whether it had been for all of them or not. Alex was pained and she learned enough about her in a short amount of time to know that Alex didn't need those comforting words or playful teasing. She needed it to be quiet and feel the love that the others had to give.

When Robin had pulled away, she kept her eyes down, vulnerable in the moment. Even if after tonight she never heard from this group again, she was glad that she got the time she did have. But there were no doubts that Robin was family now, even if she struggled to see that.

Making her way through the parking lot, Alex had held onto her bandaged sides, trying her best to not whimper with every step she had taken. However, it was a relief when Jonathan spotted her. His face had said it all. How pained he had been with the news he held onto for her. When he stood in front of her, he was at a loss for words, the tightness in his throat preventing him from telling her the truth. "He's...he's gone, Alex." Swallowing hard, he turned his eyes away from her. "Hopper's gone. H-he... There was nothing my mom could do..."

Alex kept her eyes on him, searching for a reasonable explanation of why he would lie to her about such a thing. Her throat began to close, lip quivering as she shook her head in denial. "No," she whispered. "N-no, I-I didn't... I didn't get to say goodbye." Tears welled up in her eyes as she fought to hold onto that blissful denial. "Jonathan," she said softly. "He's okay. Please, just... please tell me he's okay."

Jonathan's head remained down, shaking his head. The tears that once welled in his eyes had begun to fall. "Alex," he pleaded. "Alex, I am so sorry. I-I know what he meant to you."

Alex had to accept that this was how it was supposed to be. There was no other ending. It was painful. She would continue to hold onto that moment that she let him walk away when she could have told him goodbye one last time. That split-second decision would weigh on her every chance it could. It was something she would have to live with. Jim Hopper meant everything to her. He held on to a piece of her with him whether he had known that or not. She looked up to him and now she was left without him. All she could do was allow herself to cry. Buried in Jonathan's chest, engulfed in his arms, she let herself accept that her decision to let him go was the last time she would get to see Jim Hopper. After that, it would only ever be the memories.