I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE !

☀︎

THE THREE HAD SAT IN THE CAR IN FRONT OF STEVE'S HOUSE. The car was quiet as they had all looked at each other, unsure if they should talk about the car ride there. It had grown late and all that could be heard was Hammer To Fall playing over the radio. Alex had seemed more at an ease and back to her somewhat normal self, but she had been just as confused as them.

"So, what are we doing here?" She asked as the first one to speak. "We haven't really talked about this big plan or anything."

Each of their eyes had turned to Dustin, but he had looked over his sister more intently. There was a hesitation on telling Alex everything after he had seen the behavior she had been showing. "You wouldn't do anything to put the party in jeopardy, right?"

Attempting a smile, she awkwardly looked to Steve before meeting Dustin's eyes again. "Of course I wouldn't. Did I do something compromising?"

"Not yet at least," he sighed, "Do you like Steve or something?"

Startled, Alex flashed her brother a look of warning. "Earth to Dustin, he's right here." However, Steve had hoped to turn himself invisible so they would carry on the conversation as if he wasn't. He was instantly curious to hear her answer.

"I asked a question," Dustin stated. "I need to know if that's why you're being a freak."

Alex tensed at his words and bit her bottom lip as she turned back in her seat to avoid looking at either of them. "I'm not acting like this over Steve, and I'm not a freak."

Steve turned back in his own seat with a soft sigh. "Yeah, man, we're friends. And don't call her a freak, dude. Not cool."

"I'm not trying to be cool, Steve," he sassed back. "I'm looking for answers before I disclose important information. Something's wrong with Alex, clearly."

"I'm not going to screw this up, whatever it is you have planned," she said as she crossed her arms. "Don't ask for help if you're gonna be a big baby, D."

Dustin let out a deep sigh, "We're going to our house because I found this thing... his name is Dart and he... he's evolving into a demogorgon and... he might have eaten Mews..." Dustin's voice slowly started to trail off as he finished off his sentence. Mews was important to not just his mom, but Alex as well. She was the family cat, but she often slept in Alex's room and spent most of her time following her around when their mom wasn't holding her.

Spinning around in her seat, Alex had anger radiating off of her. "It killed my cat?" She spoke loudly in surprise. "Where is it? I'm killing it."

"That's the plan! Steve's grabbing his bat now, right, Steve?" Looking over to him, he raised his brow up in question.

"Yeah, totally," he said before his face scrunched up in confusion. "Wait a sec. How big is this thing?"

Holding up his hand, Dustin showed with his fingers that originally it had begun as the size of a mouse. "First it was like that." Holding up both hands, he had shown that it had now grown into the size of a cat. "Now he's like this."

"I swear to God, man, it's just some little lizard, okay?"

"It's not a lizard," Dustin fought back. Thinking just like him, Alex reached over and smacked Steve hard on the arm. "It ate Mews!" A look of confusion had returned to Alex's face as she turned over to Dustin. "So this thing started off like what? It was small, right?"

"Yeah, it was like a slug, then evolved and it's face opened up."

Alex paused as her mouth turned down into a frown while a panic had settled in her chest. "A slug from the Upside Down? I don't want to alarm anyone..." Alex began.

"Like you haven't freaked us out already," Dustin mumbled in the backseat, "But please... freak us out more."

"I may be Darts mom," she said quietly. Both boys looked over to her, a mix of confusion and concern on their faces.

"Uh... what now?" Dustin asked.

"Jonathan and I... we picked you and Will up from the Wheelers... You know, when he got that camera... When we got home, I went to the bathroom and well... he came out of my mouth and went down the drain. I-I don't know what happened to it or if it lived. It was like a slug, I guess and when it came up, i-it felt like I was there— back in the Upside Down."

"Oh my god," Dustin whispered in horror, "I'm an uncle."

"No you aren't! This is- this is crazy!" Steve yelled, "Dart is no way related to either of you. Just tell me why we're hearing about this now. Does anyone know?"

"Does anyone know?" She repeated back his question with a laugh. "Are you kidding? I threw up a slug from another dimension and you think I want that as public knowledge. Or better yet, spend every other day going to Hawkins Lab to be their test subject."

"I'm getting my bat," Steve mumbled, popping open his door. Climbing out of his car, he looked around outside before bending down to look back at the two inside. "No one throw anything up while I'm gone, got it?"

"Okay, shut up," Alex said sharply. Slamming the door shut, Steve raced up to his house, leaving the Henderson's in silence as they took in all the new information.

"It killed my cat?" She questioned quietly.

"Yeah," he sighed. "You threw him up?"

Scoffing, Alex shook her head in disbelief. "Yeah, apparently."

"Why didn't you tell me? I could give a shit if Steve knew, but I'm your brother."

"Because, after everything with Will, I thought you deserved a break. Besides, I thought it ended there. I had no idea you'd find it and keep it as a pet." Closing her eyes, she tried to block out the heat rising inside her. "Dustin, I'm sorry I kept it from you. Everything's been awful with me. I just... I don't want anything to be awful with you. I don't need you, you know, worrying about me or dealing with anything you shouldn't have to."

"It's fine," he sighed, falling back into his seat. "I'm sorry Dart ate Mews." Dustin turned his head to face the window as he crossed his arms. He knew Alex was only trying to protect him but he didn't want her to feel that she had to. If it were up to him, he'd take awful with her than to be doing anything without her. He loved his sister and there was no chance he was going to allow anything to hurt her. He'd fight just as she'd do for him.

"I can't believe you named the little shit," she scoffed. "And I can't believe you asked me if I liked Steve in front of him. Jesus, Dustin, you're already such an ass as is, but, dude, sibling code."

"Come on, he didn't even care."

There was a silence between them that had caused Dustin to frown. He had expected her to begin a battle of words with him that would have each of them end in broken smiles and apologies they knew they had already forgiven.

Yet, the silence was broken up as Alex tensed back into her seat, bursting out in a sudden scream as she clawed at her neck in pain. Out in Hawkins, Hopper had been found in the tunnels and Hawkins Lab was working on destroying the vines of the Upside Down with what they knew worked— fire.

Shooting up in his seat, Dustin had reacted quickly to see what had changed in the car for such a sudden burst from her. Unsure what to do, he had desperately repeated her name in hopes of her responding.

"It burns," she called out, writhing in her seat as she tried to escape such a pain. Flashes of Hawkins Lab burning the tunnels had torn through her mind in quick bursts. "Make them stop!"

"Wh-who? What do I do?" Dustin asked loudly, grabbing onto her. His eyes had darted around, looking for any signs of harm, but then only harm was what she had done to herself. Grabbing her hands, he pulled them off from clawing at her neck as his eyes looked out the window, wishing more than anything for Steve to return back. Even if he didn't know what to do, he had really just wanted someone to be with him as he tried to keep Alex calm and not hurting herself to escape the heat inside her.

Taking one hand off her, Dustin has struggled as he reached for the AC. He was desperate to stop her sobbing pleads as she begged him to help her. It was something small, but if it worked, it would stop the screams and pleads he knew he'd end up having nightmare of in the middle of the night. Finally finding his handle on the knob, he gave it a quick turn, allowing cold air to burst through the car. Despite him shaking, he could see that Alex had started to calm just in the slightest bit.

Feeling her body lurch forward, she pushed Dustin off of her. A sickening feeling had emerged and she needed out of the car. Pushing the door open, she nearly tripped over herself as she stood in Steve's front yard. With her hands on her knees, she hunched over as vomit had came out and the heat had started to disappear as Hawkins Lab had retreated from continuing the burning.

Breathing heavily, she had heard footsteps approaching as Dustin had climbed out of the car to check on her. Looking up, Steve had stood now before her with a bat slung over his shoulder as he looked down to her. "What the hell happened?"

"I got sick," she whispered, pushing herself up right. "I know you said don't thrown anything up, but I just couldn't help myself."

"Henderson," he said the moment she had turned her back to him. Ignoring him, she had headed back into her seat, adjusting the vents to blow right on her. Shutting her door, Steve looked over to Dustin who had still been shaking.

"Sh-she just started screaming and she said it was burning," Dustin managed to get out. "I don't know what happened."

Placing a hand on top of his head, Steve shook it with a half hearted smile. "Take a nap and relax, man. I'll talk to her. See if I can find out more."

Giving a small nod, Dustin climbed back into the backseat. Steve had made his way to the trunk, throwing in his bat but he paused for a moment. He knew they needed more from Alex, but even after he told Dustin he would talk to her, he wasn't sure if she would be so willing to talk to him.

『••☀︎••』

DUSTIN HAD LAID ACROSS THE BACKSEAT, HIS EYES SHUT BUT HIS EARS OPEN TO ANY CONVERSATION THE TWO HAD. Alex's focus had been out the window, growing embarrassed with what had been happening to her. Everything felt as if it were getting worse and there hadn't seemed to be a clear solution on how to make anything better. Now she had scared Dustin and there was always going to be that guilt. She was supposed to protect him and all she felt was that she was endlessly failing him.

Steve let out a small breath of air, prepared to work his way into conversation as he drove. However, the small noise from Steve had Alex's guilt skyrocket as she spoke up first. "I'm sorry for hiding everything from you, Steve."

"No, don't say that. I should've done more and been there for you after everything. All I did was complain about Nance even when I knew I should've talked to you."

"Come on," she whispered as she looked to him. His focus had been on driving but his thoughts were elsewhere. "Steve, you know nothing would've changed. I tried telling you and I just couldn't. It wasn't because of you, or Nancy, or Billy. There's other things going on and I wasn't sure who I could trust. I-I was scared... I still am, I guess. I don't think anyone can help me."

"Whatever it is, I'll try," he said as he looked over to her. "Alex, seriously, I know I'm not much, but I'd do anything for you, you know that, right?"

She gave a small nod. "Of course. I'd do the same for you, but this isn't some school drama or relationship problems. This is different. I tried to stop you last year from getting involved..."

"And then I saved your ass," he interrupted. It was the truth, and even then, he had seen the corners of her lips turn up before she had looked back out the window. "Your brother was going to get me involved anyways," he reminded her.

"This doesn't have much to do with his cat-killing monster," she sighed. If only it was as simple as that. The fact she had seen Dustin's problem as simple made her feel worse about pulling Steve into her mess. "There's this thing and-and he's inside my head. I can't get hot because it hurts and it gets angry, and it..." she hesitated for a moment before continuing. "It talks to me. It'll make me see the Upside Down or bad memories. It's like this thing in the sky. I know I sound crazy, but that's what's wrong and that's why I didn't want to tell you."

He was quiet for a moment as he processed the brand new information. Dustin's monster had felt like enough to handle for the evening, but now knowing the reasoning for Alex's behavior, it all felt like too much. He blamed himself immediately for not pushing harder for her to tell him what had been going on.

"Yeah, that's a lot," he whispered. "I don't think you're crazy though. Not everyone goes through this, but, uh, yeah, not what I expected."

Alex nodded along. There was a moment she had felt relief to tell him everything even with the doubt that shadow monster had placed in her to doubt Steve's trust. "I just felt really alone. Everyone's been so... normal... and I didn't want to ruin that. But Will, he's seeing it too and that's why I told you I was sick and needed to go home. Billy brought me to the Byers so I could see Will. I just wanted to see if I could help him. Then Hopper went missing and now whatever we're doing now..."

Steve stopped her as he reached over and laid his hand on top of hers. "Hey, relax, okay? I get it now." Looking down at his hand in hers, there was a relief to have her back to him. After everything the two had been through, he couldn't understand now how he didn't see how he always felt better with her and how something as simple as her touch had made him feel warm inside. "I don't care about you lying to me."

Alex gave a sad smile in return. "I know it's asking for a lot, but I need you. I don't think I can do this alone anymore and I'm scared. I can't stop it."

"Yeah, you know you got me. Sort of stuck with me now."

"Thanks," she whispered. She slipped her hand out from under this, placing her hand down in her own lap causing him to frown. "I can't..." she stopped herself short as she grew embarrassed. "I can't hold your hand."

"I was going to break up with Nancy officially," he told her. "The flowers— they were an apology for all the fighting and how she was right about a lot of stuff. Well, sort of."

"Yeah, you're not bullshit for starters," Alex reminded him. "But I'm really sorry. I know you liked her a lot."

"Yeah, I thought I did," he sighed. He had thought he was falling for Nancy Wheeler, but as time grew on, he realized that it was not love at all. He liked her, but that soon faded away. Now he felt he only had eyes for one girl that never actually wanted to hurt him. "Turns out I might like someone else."

"Then they are incredibly lucky," she smiled.

"Oh, yeah, I think you'd like her. She's actually really funny. Probably one of the funniest girls I've met. She's smart too, smarter than me but that's not really saying much. And she's just... she's just great. I mean, I probably should've liked her the whole time. And the funny thing is, she has no idea I'm falling for her."

Alex was quiet as she had listened to him. Never once had she heard him talk about a girl this way before. It had usually just been Steve telling her about his newest girlfriend that had randomly came into his small circle. Soon enough, they'd disappear and a new one would follow along.

"So, what do you think? Think I should give it a shot?"

His questions had her give a shrug as she looked out the window. Had she not been so distracted with her own problems, she wouldn't have been so blind and had seen that Steve could only be talking about her. So instead, she forced a small smile. "I think she sounds perfect for you. If she doesn't see how great you are then it's her loss, right?"

"Yeah, sure. I just think some other guy is gonna come along and honestly, I think some guy actually likes her but he's such an ass. Total dick. Thing is, she's super nice to everyone she meets and that totally screws me over when she's nice to that asshole. Because if she ends up with that asshole, I'll never forgive myself for letting her go."

"No one would ever choose an asshole over you. I mean, you can be an ass, but you got a sweet side. I think you should just tell her." Finding a small laugh escape her lips, she shook her head. "I mean, maybe just wait until this is over. You know, in case we end up dying from Dustin's new pet or this thing in my head somehow finds its way out and kills everyone."

"Right," he chuckled, but it was soon replaced with a frown. Had his timing been any worse, he wouldn't have been surprised. It was just like Steve Harrington to be awful at handling relationships.