❝is it guilt, is it pity, i'm not sure anymore.❞
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"MY FATHER NEVER APPROVED OF ANYONE I DATED, WHICH ONLY MADE ME WANT THEM MORE, OF COURSE." Damon looked up from the cutting board with a smirk sent in Jenna's direction. "What about you?"

Jenna sighed wistfully, swishing her glass of wine around. "There were a few guys. Logan isn't the only loser I've dated,"

Damon cleared his throat, feigning a distant curiosity. "They ever find him? Or is he still missing?"

Jenna scoffs. "He's not missing. He's in the Bahamas working on his tan,"

Damon gives her an amused look, though his humor is spared fully for his own sake.

"Very entitled, that one. Marches to his own drum," Jenna huffs, finishing off the rest of her wine. "He's a Fell. They're all snooty."

The vampire rounds the counter to pour more wine into Jenna's glass with a smirk, and Jenna narrows her eyes, trying to read his emotions. Before she can, though, he's turning away and going back to the cutting board.

"Hello, Elena," Jenna stiffened at his announcing tone, turning around slowly to see her niece entering the kitchen with a confused look on her face.

"Hey, where have you been?" Jenna smiled, oblivious to the tension between Damon and Elena. "We're cooking dinner,"

Elena disregarded Jenna's question, keeping her gaze on Damon.

"Is Stefan with you?"

"Uh," She swallowed roughly, glancing at Jenna. "He'll be here soon."

Damon nodded silently and looked back down at the cutting board, leaving Elena to look around the kitchen confusedly. "Where's Charlie?"

The vampire looked up, his eyes drifting over Elena's shoulder, gesturing with the knife in his hand. "Right there," His carefully blank look dissolved into something easier, and a small, almost-smile appeared on his face. "Hi, sunshine. You have a good shower?"

Charlotte rolls her eyes, but the smile on her face is fond as she walks past Elena into the kitchen, her fingers weaving her wet curls into two braids against her scalp. "Don't be crude, Damon. I am starving, though, how's dinner coming?"

"It's practically gourmet," His eyes roam over her figure as Jenna jumps down from the counter, making her way to the living room as Elena stands wary as ever. "Your phone is going off. You should go check it."

Charlotte pauses and frowns slightly, groaning to herself when she remembers she'd left her phone on her bed upstairs. "It's probably Cory. If I ignore him for too long he shows up here, so,"

Turning on her slipper-clad foot, she heads back up the stairs. Damon waits another second before he looks towards Elena, his dark brows furrowing on his forehead. "Is it real?"

Elena glances up at him, letting out a heavy sigh as she grabs the napkins and silverware for the table. "Is what real?"

"This renewed sense of brotherhood," Damon turns, dipping the wooden spoon into the pot to try the sauce he'd made. "Can I trust him?"

He brings his gaze up to meet Elena's again, but it's nothing like the warm, open one he holds for Charlotte. It's piercing, and not necessarily cold, but certainly defensive.

Elena's eyes widen slightly, but she nods. "Yes, you can trust him."

She turns, heading over to the dining table to set the items down, and she stiffens when she feels the breeze of Damon's figure appear behind her. She spins around, heart skipping a beat despite anticipating his movement.

"Can I trust him?" Damon looks at her again, peering down into her eyes, and she frowns.

"I'm wearing vervain, Damon. It's not gonna work."

Damon's forehead wrinkles and he shakes his head, putting more distance between him and Elena. "I'm not compelling you. I just want you to answer me– honestly."

Elena's frown deepens for a moment before her face softens with pity, and a bit of guilt, when she realizes she's seeing a rare moment of genuineness from Damon and for once, she is the one lying and deceiving.

She knows just as well that Damon had waited for Charlotte to be out of earshot for the same reason Elena and Stefan hadn't included her in on their plan. Her soft spot for anyone, but especially Damon, would get in the way, and right now, they couldn't risk that. So, Damon asking her while she's alone– it serves to make her feel a bit guilty, because even he is aware of Charlotte's weakness where he's involved and he's, apparently, not using it to his advantage.

It makes Elena wish that Damon and Stefan could just work things out in a way that would end with nobody getting hurt, but even Charlotte knows better, while being in the dark. She was the one who told Elena that the history Stefan and Damon has is entirely beyond their understanding, so Elena was taking a step back and agreeing to help Stefan as much as he'd allow her to.

Realizing she'd hesitated in responding, she refocuses on Damon and nods, trying her best to keep her complex emotions out of her eyes. "Of course you can."

"There was a time when I trusted him more than anyone," Damon spins to face her as she wipes off a countertop, sighing as she faces him once more.

"Trust breeds trust. You have to give it to get it,"

"Are you lecturing me?"

Elena crosses her arms over her chest, raising a brow at him. "Do you need to be lectured?"

"I just want her back," Damon shrugs. "I'm sure you can understand that."

Elena tilts her head, somewhat conceding the point. "I can understand that you would do anything for her, yes."

Damon steps back slightly as Elena comes back to the table, setting the bowl down in the middle of it. "Then you understand what I will do if anyone gets in my way."

Elena looks away, dropping her gaze to the floor as she steps past Damon, the sound of Charlotte's footsteps coming back down the stairs breaking them both from their conversation. "What am I understanding?"

Damon looks up, his guarded, piercing stare turning into that increasingly familiar warm one that takes over when Charlotte's around. "Anything and everything, Einstein," Damon covers easily, giving her a cheeky wink that she rolls her eyes at. "Come here, see if this is any good."

Charlotte's socked feet carry her into the kitchen lightly, and she joins Damon at the island, taking the offered spoon of spaghetti sauce with a smile. She makes a noise of delight and nods, dropping the spoon into the sink as she gives Damon a thumbs up. "Very good, Mr. Salvatore, you'll have to teach me your ways."

"A chef never tells his secrets,"

"I thought that was magicians," Charlotte crosses her arms over her chest, grinning up at him as he leans against the counter beside her, looking down at her with a matching smile.

"Is cooking not a form of magic in itself?"

Charlotte scoffs, lightly pushing his arm, making him snap at her with the dish towel he'd had draped over his shoulder. "I'll get all of your secrets out of you yet, Damon."

Damon sighs, still smiling, though it seems more wry than a second ago. "I have no doubt about that, sunshine."

Elena watches them, and the pit of guilt in her stomach grows a bit bigger.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"He is ridiculously hot!"

Charlotte giggles at Jenna's words, pushing her arm as she sets one of the knives Damon had used in the dishwasher. "Jenna, sh," She holds up a finger, glancing at Damon on the couch as he tilts his head slightly, an obvious signal that he's listening. "He's got ears like a bat."

She imagines his eye roll at her comment and laughs to herself again, the smile faltering when Elena walks into the kitchen with another stack of things from their parent's storage.

"What are you doing with all this stuff?"

Elena sighs, shaking her head. "I thought there might be something about our birth parents."

Charlotte tenses, shutting the dishwasher a bit harder than needed.

Jenna and Elena both look at her, pity shining in their eyes that she dutifully ignores while she wipes off the counters. "Have you told Jeremy?"

"I'll tell him if I deem it necessary," Charlotte inputs, setting the towel on the counter. "We're his sisters no matter what, so there's no need to rush."

Elena opens her mouth, most likely to argue with Charlotte on the subject yet again, but the doorbell rings before she can get a word out. Taking the out, Charlotte gives her sister a tense smile. "That's probably Stefan, you should go get it."

Elena sighs, but heads for the front door, and Charlotte watches Damon follow close after her.

Jenna bites her lip before turning to her niece, giving her a hesitant smile. "Charlie, are you sure you don't want to know anything about your birth parents? Because–"

"Jenna, I really, really don't." Charlotte huffs, glancing at Jeremy to make sure he's not overhearing. "Whoever Isobel is, and whoever might've gotten her pregnant in the first place– they aren't my parents. My birth certificate says Miranda and Grayson, and they will always be my parents. They wanted me– they wanted Elena. Isobel didn't. So, Elena can keep going on this ridiculous search for them, but I don't want any part of it. I'd rather just mourn the parents I already lost than try and replace them."

"Charlie–"

"I need to go to the bathroom," Charlotte huffs and pushes off the counter she'd been leaning on, bypassing the dining table to run for the stairs, her footsteps light as she rushes into her bathroom.

She shuts the door firmly behind her and leans on the counter, meeting her reflection in the mirror with a heavy sigh that falls flat in the space. Sometimes, when she looks in the mirror too long, and her vision begins to go out of focus, she can still see her reflection. Except it isn't a clear picture of her anymore, it's blurry and streaky– like she's underwater. It gives her the same relief that actually being underwater does.

There's something about the lack of reflection and the inability to see herself, and see past every bit of bullshit she puts up to hide things that gives her the tiniest bit of control. It makes her feel a little less crazy, and right now, that's exactly what she needs because she feels like she's losing her mind.

She didn't understand why nobody else seemed to respect the fact that she had no interest in learning about the woman that technically gave birth to her. After a bit of processing and a few conversations with her therapist, she had come to terms with the fact that she was adopted, and that's where she wanted it to stop. She didn't understand why Elena wanted answers so bad, and why she seemed so keen on involving Charlotte in it.

Inhaling shakily, Charlotte's vision came back into focus and she muttered a low curse when she saw the tears on her cheeks in the reflection. Turning the cold water on, she leans over the sink and splashes her face a few times, reaching for her towel hanging on the door.

She breathes into the fabric of her towel for a moment, willing her brain to slow down and let her relax for a second, but any train of thought regarding that is derailed when she hears footsteps coming towards the bathroom door.

A firm knock makes her step back and she closes her eyes tiredly. "What?"

"Come on, sunshine, we're going to the bar."

Charlotte's brows furrow and she reaches for the door, swinging it open to look at Damon confusedly. "What?"

Damon looks at her slightly disheveled state, and somewhat flushed cheeks, but he pushes the questions to the back of his mind. "Jeremy let his weird girlfriend see the Gilbert Journal, so we're going to go meet this Anna chick and see what her deal is."

Charlotte blinks, processing his words for a moment, before she lets out a sigh. "Okay, just let me get my shoes on."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Are you sure there's something wrong with this girl? Maybe she really is just a weirdo like Jeremy says," Charlotte looks around, watching Jeremy walk off towards the pool table, searching the bar for his date.

"How much of a weirdo do you have to be to start dating the descendant of the dead guy's journal you're reading?"

Charlotte pauses briefly before sitting down at the table across from Damon, their placement giving them perfect view of nearly the whole bar. "I guess you have a point, but what are you going to do if she's, like, actually a threat? Why would some random girl want anything to do with Jonathan Gilbert's journal?"

"For the same reason your history teacher does, too, I suppose."

Charlotte hums in agreement, not willing to verbally admit that Damon was right, again, for fear of his ego taking up too much space at their table. Damon flags down a waiter as he passes by, giving him a brief glance up and down when his eyes drift to Charlotte. "I need a bourbon, and the lady will have a strawberry milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry on top."

The man nods, glancing at Charlotte with a smile as she suddenly places his familiar face. "Dylan, right? Third period calculus?"

He nods again, grin shifting into something a bit cockier as he points his capped pen at her. "Charlotte Gilbert, great to see you outside of the hell that is Ms. Lane's class. I'll have your milkshake out as soon as possible,"

Charlotte huffs a laugh in agreement with his statement and gives him a grateful nod as he walks off with their order, leaving her with Damon's less-than pleased eye roll. "What was that for?"

Damon huffs at her, and she reaches across the table to flick his arm, making him do the same in return before she jerked her hand back. "He was hitting on you, looking like a total scumbag."

"Oh, because you're the pinnacle of chivalry now?"

"You know I only have eyes for you, sunshine,"

Charlotte rolled her eyes, smiling despite her near-constant stream of irritation in Damon's presence. He liked to taunt, and she was used to it by now, it was something she could nearly come to approach with fondness instead of letting him get a rise out of her.

"Oh, look," Charlotte sits up a bit, setting her hand on Damon's arm to get his attention again. "I think that's Anna."

She points to where Jeremy's standing as subtly as possible, watching the smile on her little brother's face grow with a slight flush as he talks to the shorter figure in front of him.

When the girl finally turns, giving them a look at her face, Charlotte feels Damon unexpectedly stiffen under her touch and she turns to look at him with a frown, only to find his face already twisted into something akin to one.

"What? What is it?"

Damon heaves a sigh, but his words are put on pause as Dylan returns with their drinks, sliding Damon's bourbon to him before setting her milkshake before her with that same grin from before.

"Thanks, Dylan," Charlotte smiled, making the boy wave her off nonchalantly.

"I'm here to help,"

Damon clears his throat, glaring unapologetically at Dylan while Charlotte kicks at his leg under the table. "You could be of more help elsewhere, I'm sure,"

Charlotte winced, giving Dylan an apologetic look. "I'll see you in class, yeah?"

He nods with a smile, taking the dismissal quickly, but not before shooting Damon a tense glare as he disappeared back towards the bar.

"That was so rude, Damon, oh, my God,"

"I think he'll live, Charlotte."

Sighing, Charlotte plucked the cherry off the top of her milkshake and tugged it off the stem with her teeth, biting into the fruit with a pleased hum. "So, why'd you react like... that, with Anna? What's the deal?"

Damon eyed her, gaze dropping to where she'd tucked the cherry stem in between her teeth, meticulously twisting it into a knot with her tongue. Clearing his throat, and rolling his eyes slightly, he let out a tense sigh. "I know her."

Charlotte paused, raising a brow. "Okay, that's... unexpected, but it's not necessarily weird. This is a small town, I'm honestly shocked that I don't recognize her,"

"No, Charlotte, I know her." Damon leans forward. "She's a vampire. She and her mother came to Mystic Falls with Katherine in 1864– her mother is stuck in the tomb."

Charlotte pulled the now-knotted cherry stem out of her mouth, dropping it onto a napkin as she darted her gaze back to her unsuspecting brother playing pool with the vampire he was apparently dating.

"So, what are you going to do? She won't hurt Jeremy, right? Because–"

"I won't let Jeremy get hurt, Charlotte," Damon sighed, eyes darting behind her. "Look, put your shake on my tab, and finish it before you go home."

"Wait– what? Where are you going?"

Damon pulled his keys out of his pocket, pushing his chair back from the table. "I've obviously got to pay Anna a visit, and you will not be joining me for that. God knows what Anna will do if she sees you,"

Charlotte gave him a displeased look as he got up, but she did as told and stayed put. "You'll tell me what's going on, though, right?"

Damon sighs as he looks down into her wide brown eyes, his hardened gaze softening ever so slightly. "Of course I'll fill you in. You're my trusty sidekick, after all,"

"I really don't like that title,"

"I'll come up with something better, I promise."

Charlotte smiled fondly, but still entirely exasperated. "I really doubt that," Waving her hand at him, she gestured to her milkshake. "Go, do what you need to do. You're gonna owe me, though, for ditching me like this."

Damon winks, beginning to walk off. "I'll pay any price to make up for it, sunshine."

Charlotte rolls her eyes at his dramatics, but she can't deny the warmth that swirls in her stomach and fills her cheeks as she watches him go.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

author's note; this ended up being so much longer than i thought it was?? i was just vibing and didn't realize i'd written 3100 words of charlotte and damon's ridiculous pining 

 edited and published; 11.30.22.

- liz