BE PATIENT & TOUGH.

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STARCROSSED (book one).
°• CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO •°

" I CAN'T WAIT TO NOT
HAVE ANY FUCKING KIDS. "

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ELIJAH HAS HAD MANY MOMENTS WHERE HE DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE UP. The world was a bleary and dark place, a consistent black hole that he sank deeper into until he reached the endless nothing. The constant emptiness was determined to keep Elijah there for the rest of his life until he was nothing too.

Manic depression worked like that.

According to Doctor Owens, moderating his medication would help. "It can take weeks, months though. You have to be patient," he insisted as Elijah coldly stared at the clear orange bottle with his name plastered on the label. He wasn't studying it, in fact, he was hardly listening to the doctor, but he still clung to those words. He has to be patient and maybe, just maybe, one day things will get better. However, Elijah had to be tough as well as patient. He could either allow the darkness to destroy him or fight back for the tiny chance that eventually, a glimpse of light would break through to reach him.

The world starts to brighten in the phase of a blur as he slowly blinks his eyes open. He realized it wasn't because there was a hopeful light at the end of the tunnel, but because of the blinding lights of cars that shone brightly in the dark. Elijah winced at the burn that came with it, how it stunned his vision and reminded him of his throbbing injuries, but reminded himself as his mind awakened: he could cry later. He has to be tough now.

A sigh of relief came from Elijah's left. "Oh, thank God you're awake," he heard Nevaeh breathe out.

Elijah realized next he was sitting upright in a seat, one that was moving rapidly. As his vision adjusted, he realized the light was coming from the bulb of light on the bunker of the car that was speeding in front of the windshield of the vehicle he was in, barely visible through the throbbing of his temple that kept his vision at a slight blur.

A blue Camaro, may he add.

"Nevaeh," Elijah mumbled as the pieces started to fall together. "Tell me those kids didn't hijack Hargrove's car. Right now."

"... They didn't hijack the car?" she tried weakly.

"Nevaeh."

"Max took the keys!"

"Nevaeh!"

She took a sharp turn to keep up with them, wincing when they saw the Camaro bounce. "Hey, you let me drive around Hawkins when I was around her age in your car! Ring a bell?"

Elijah's head fell back as it smacked his car's headrest, eyes squeezing shut so he could take in the familiar darkness again. At least just for a moment, his God damn head was spinning with the fact there were a handful of annoying kids behind the wheel of Hargrove's car. "That brings me no comfort whatsoever, Nevaeh."

Another thought hit Elijah who sat up again, grinding down the back of his teeth when his bruises stung in protest. Memories started to flood back. "Where's Steve?" And another thought, this one that made his blood boil. "Where's Hargrove?"

Nevaeh's brown eyes were still locked on the car before them. As if on cue, Elijah could hear the yelp through the squealing of tires, one that he knew. Of course.

"Hargrove's still out back at the Byers and Steve was unconscious too, if that brings you any comfort."

"It doesn't."

Elijah took a few deep breaths while one hand curled around the bottom of his seat. His fingernails dug into the leather. His cheeks burned as he remembered asking for his mommy when he was out of it, but besides that, there was something so much worse going on than Steve Harrington being stuck in a moving vehicle with a bunch of reckless kids, one of them driving recklessly to... Wherever.

Billy Hargrove tried to kill him because he was gay.

"He was gonna kill me," he muttered. Nevaeh was quiet, so he didn't stop. "He would have strangled me if... If..." Elijah swallowed at the burn in his throat, a reminder of the forceful hands with cold rings wrapped around it, attempting to choke the life out of him. Just because he liked the same gender.

"Max used the syringe on him and knocked him out. I'm so sorry, Eli," Nevaeh said softly.

Elijah laughed dryly. "Don't be. I should be used to it by now, right?"

A thick tension rose that was only filled with the car's racing and the occasional scream from ahead. Nevaeh shook her head. "No, you shouldn't be," she insisted, but Elijah didn't believe her. If this was how things were meant to be for him, then he may as well start getting used to it now.

"I read this poem once. It was in Latin, but you know me. Weirdly great with languages," Nevaeh continued. "It was by a Roman poet. Something he wrote..." She paused to smile with the same amount of humor that Elijah had in his laugh earlier. "Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim."

He couldn't help being curious. "What does it mean?" He whispered.

"Be patient and tough, someday this pain will be useful to you."

The time to process that ended. The Camaro came to such a fast stop that Nevaeh had to slam on the brakes to avoid rear-ending it. Elijah's forehead would have bounced off the dashboard if Nevaeh hadn't thought to buckle him first, but the belt still dug into his neck, almost embedding into the bruise Billy no doubt left there. It made him choke for air and click the button to fling it loose, cursing under his breath.

"Where the hell are we?" Elijah snapped because Nevaeh was right. It was time to be tough. He practically kicked the door of his own car open with the last bit of strength that he had, his legs shaking when he finally found his footing on soft soil. He would have fallen into the enormous hole in the ground if he hadn't hung off the door, glaring at the kids. "Answers, now!"

The group ignored him. They popped open the Camaro's trunk and started pulling out supplies, goggles, gloves, scarves, rope, and a container of gasoline? While Nevaeh produced a lighter for Lucas while he handled the worst of it. Traitor, he thought.

Oh, Elijah was going to murder them. "Maybe I won't call your moms since we got here with minor injuries-"

Max stamped her foot like she was two instead of twelve. "No injuries!" She fiercely corrected, rounding the car. "I'm a great driver!"

Elijah resisted the urge to put her in a headlock. Not since she was a kid, but because he was too weak to try it right now. Besides, Steve was in a much worse state than he was in, seemingly ready to crumble at any minute. Elijah's heart ached for him, but he was preoccupied trying hard to get their attention too.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" He spluttered. "What, are you deaf? Hello!"

Nevaeh made a point to brush by him as if he wasn't there to greet her brother. "You might wanna suit up," she advised him, the strap of blue goggles dangling in her hand. A pair of red ones rested on her curly hair.

His dark eyes glanced from the goggles to the hole. Realization had gripped him by the throat, lifted him off the ground hundreds of feet, and dropped him again. They were standing above the entrance of the Upside Down. The same place that had nearly trapped Elijah in, where the Demogorgon wasn't some small creature but a full-grown monster, and hunting down its prey. Elijah Wolfhart. His friends. People he loved...

Instead of allowing the worst memories to cloud his mind, Elijah thought back to what Hopper told him that night a few hours prior.

"Kid, listen to me. I know how you survive something, you hear a noise, and your head starts playing tricks on you - but it's not. Real. You know what's real? Your family. Your friends. Say their names."

Elijah's loved ones were counting on them. On him. It wasn't time to be patient with himself, it was time to be tough, and find out exactly why this pain was going to be useful to him.

Meanwhile, Steve struggled to share the same thoughts. His only idea was to protect the kids from any further harm. "We are not going down there right now, I made myself clear. Hey, there's no chance we're going into that hole, alright?" He used what little strength he had to snatch Dustin's satchel and throw it back in the trunk while shouting, "This ends right now!"

"Steve! You're upset, I get it. But the bottom line is a party member requires assistance, and it is our duty to provide that assistance," Dustin declared bravely. "Now, I know you promised Nance that you would keep us safe." He shoved the bag into Steve's chest, his infamous baseball bat sticking out. "So, keep us safe." Dustin didn't wait for a response, mostly because he likely didn't give a shit what else Steve had to stay, and stormed toward Elijah with another bag in hand. He could hardly see his' eyes behind the scarf wrapped around his head and the goggles draped on top, but there was still a small glint in them as he thrust the other bag in his hand at Elijah. "We thought you'd want this too."

The Byers's ax poked through the opening, the wooden handle almost smacking Elijah in the nose as he took it.

Elijah sighed. The backpack felt like it weighed a hundred mountains, but he still put it on his back, mumbling under his breath, "I can't wait to never have any fucking kids."

They crawled into the hole one by one with the assistance of the rope. The kids had already started doing so before Elijah or Steve had even reached the entrance. Elijah kept grumbling under his breath as he slid inside, releasing the rope once his feet were close enough to soft ground. He paused to take all the surroundings in.

The blue hue around him almost felt familiar. The tunnel looked deeper and endless than the woods did that night. It felt different this time. Not just because the air was mostly replacing Elijah's oxygen now, thanks to the black cloth tied around his mouth, but something deeper than that. There wasn't a light at the end of this tunnel, but it didn't matter. He felt more powerful now, more prepared. This won't be his nightmare any longer.

Elijah Wolfhart was becoming the nightmare now.

Mike held up the homemade map with his flashlight toward the right side of the path. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's this way," he announced.

"You're pretty sure or you're certain?"

"I'm one hundred percent sure!" Mike retorted with a scoff. "Just follow me and you'll know."

Steve stopped him, nearly shining the flashlight in his face. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey! I don't think so." He directed to the space behind him. "Any of you little shits die down here, I'm getting the blame. Got it, Dipshit?" He snatched the map away. "From here on out, I'm leading the way. Come on, let's go!" He shouted down the tunnel, his voice echoing long after.

Elijah clicked his own flashlight on to flash it at his sister. "I'll stay in the back so no one falls behind. Go to the front with Steve, just in case something sneaks up on us."

He received an eyebrow from her raise in return. "What if something sneaks up on us from the front-"

"Go!"

He could see Nevaeh's eyes crinkle when she smiled, but complied, trailing after Steve's steps along with the rest of the party. Elijah huffed as he waved for Max and Lucas to go before following them too as Steve yelled for them to hustle.

It was easier said than done. The tunnel was crooked with twists and turns at almost every angle. The ground was curved with roots and vines sticking through it, making Elijah almost stumble numerous times when his boot got caught underneath, so he found it easier to hop around. He took careful and slow steady breaths, more for him than the fear of breathing in whatever floated in the air. It helped keep Elijah grounded, more mentally than physically. He was becoming less afraid with every step.

Suddenly, Dustin stopped quickly, and Elijah rammed straight into his back. He fumbled to keep himself steady on his feet, muttering, "What the hell, you little shit?!"

Dustin's head was tilted back, a few stray curls spilling from his knotted scarf. "Do you see that? What the hell-"

Before Elijah could as so much as tilt his head backward to catch a glimpse at whatever distracted Dustin, said little shit was thrown backward from a gust of - gas? Air? Specs of dust? The blast had caused him to start screaming like an animal caught in a trap, flailing his limbs faster than Elijah could grab as he kicked and screeched for help, scrambling to dig his fingers into Elijah's clothes for stability.

"God dammit, kid! Take a chill pill!" Elijah snapped as he attempted to hold him upright.

His friends came sprinting in retreat, calling his name in worry. Steve shoved his way through. His brown eyes flickered from Dustin to Elijah and were filled with concern, the same emotion thick in his voice when he yelled, "What happened?!"

"It's in my mouth! Some got in my mouth! Shit!" Dustin screamed, continuing to lash around. He fell forward heaving. He released a splutter of dry coughs, hacking for air, while Elijah sighed and gave a few rough pats to his back.

He gave one last pathetic cough and lifted his head. "I'm okay."

Their shoulders fell in annoyance. A few scoffs arose as they muttered a few jabs at Dustin, stumbling away again.

"Hang on, wait, wait for us!" Dustin scrambled to his feet to keep up.

"I really can't wait to not have kids," Elijah mumbled one last time before following in defeat.

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Elijah felt as if they had been wandering for hours in these stupid tunnel walls and were only falling deeper into some trap before he heard Steve call out to Mike, "Alright, Wheeler. I think we found your hub." Elijah felt his muscles release from their tightness in relief. He was exhausted from all his injuries, mostly physically, but being so mentally too didn't help his speed either. However, he found himself still picking up the pace so he could see what exactly they were supposed to be targeting. Once it was over, they could finally get the hell out, and see the light again. This darkness inside couldn't last forever.

They stop at a slanted edge. It fell into a wide opening with the entrance to other tunnel openings for many more lengths. Although Elijah felt a strike of fear at the thought of getting lost down here forever, like how when the sap in the tree tried trapping him in the Upside Down, his breath caught at what lay in the middle. The hub stuck out of the ground, crooked, and woven through with thick vines that seemed to be knotted around it just to protect it from them. It almost looked like a nest to him.

"Let's drench it," Mike sneered and grabbed the gasoline can.

Where they got all this damn gasoline, Elijah had no idea, but they went to work. Lucas stood over the top and sprayed the flammable liquid along the walls while the rest turned the canisters upside down, creating a pool around it. Nevaeh assisted Elijah and Steve in lifting the heaviest of it before the empty cans were tossed aside.

It reminded Elijah how a year prior, the Monster Hunters attempted to do the same thing. They trapped a fully-grown Demogorgon in a bear trap and set it on fire, and it did nothing. But this had to be different. This thing wasn't breathing.

He had to believe it could be different this time.

Elijah gathered with the newest Monster Hunters at a safe distance away. Steve glanced at them over his shoulder, his gaze landing on him. "Ready?"

They confirmed as much with nods or words, but Elijah just locked eyes with him. He didn't know if he'd ever be ready to do this all over again, but it was too late now. Lucas slapped the lighter in Steve's awaiting hand.

"Light her up," Dustin encouraged.

Steve took a few deep breaths before he flicked the metal cap off. "I am in such deep shit."

He pitched the open flame into the pool and Elijah's world burst into flames. The fire was instant, burning with such intensity that it warmed his face nearly to the point of pain, and watering his eyes. He threw his arm up to shield himself. While it helped, it did nothing to block out the shrieks of what he thought for a moment was pain from the vines surrounding the hub as they whipped through the air, flicking sparks everywhere.

Then the flames started to reach the ceiling. Crumbled bits of blaze started to fall and Steve shoved them toward the exit, ordering, "Go, go, go!"

They started to bolt like the fire was underneath them now. Elijah made sure the rest had already started before sprinting after them, the bruises scattered across his skin throbbing in protest, making it harder and harder to breathe. The one on his throat pulsed like it was squeezing itself around his neck again. It was adrenaline keeping Elijah pushing forward, the terror of what would happen if he fell over a vine and hit the ground, even for a second.

It was lucky Steve kept calm as he guided them, yelling, "Oh my God," repeatedly, Elijah thought sarcastically. Whatever would they do without him?

They rushed around the corner on his command. Elijah felt a small hand brush across his sleeve and skidded to a stop just as Mike slipped, fiercely kicking his leg while the other was trapped, calling for him. He swiftly went to grab the kid by his arms before thinking better of it. "Steve, pull him out!" Elijah hoarsely shouted as he reached behind him and seized the handle of his ax, yanking it out.

Lucas called for his friends to get back, Nevaeh standing bravely in front of them as Steve grabbed Mike from behind, nodding to Elijah the go-ahead.

All of the built-up rage inside of Elijah that burned hotter and brighter than the fire they left behind exploded out of him. He released a cry of anger through clenched teeth and brought the blade down onto the vine again, and again, and even after it was hacked into pieces. Mike's friends were making sure he was okay once he was on his feet again while Steve shouted, "Eli! Eli! That's enough!"

The world suddenly felt as if it was made of water instead of gasoline as Elijah forced his heavy arms to stop and realized his dark eyes had filled with tears, a matching pair that streaked through the dirt and blood over his face. Elijah's shaking hands nearly dropped his weapon as his head shot up, only catching Steve's worried gaze for a split second before a furious growl echoed behind them.

Elijah's grip tightened again at the sight. This Demogorgon still wasn't fully grown, but bigger than the baby that El killed earlier. Regardless, the petals of its face opened as it snarled again, and Elijah's heart plummeted. One more time. One more kill. He could do this.

He was prepared to bring the ax down again before Dustin took a step forward, only stopping by Steve's hand planting over his shoulder, and Nevaeh's frightened and quiet, "Don't!"

"Dart," he whispered.

He tried again to approach it even as they protested, Elijah sneering as he braced himself to hack it into smaller pieces, but Dustin thrust his arm out. "Eli, don't!" Dustin yelped over the sound of Dart's furious snarl at that.

Surprisingly, Elijah loosened his grip. He lowered his ax as Dustin knelt in front of the thing with a soft expression. "Hey, it's me. It's me, it's just your friend. It's Dustin," he quietly reminded it as he removed the pieces covering his face. He weakly smiled. "Will you let us pass?"

Dart opened its face again with another fierce scream that caused everyone to jump, Elijah's grasp tightening on the wood once again.

"Okay, okay," Dustin soothed before apologizing, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the storm cellar. That was a pretty douchey thing to do." He reached behind him to unzip his bag. "You hungry?"

Lucas whispered what they were all thinking. "He's insane."

"Shut up," Steve snapped back.

"I've got our favorite." Dustin peeled back the silver wrapper of a 3 Musketeers to reveal the chocolate bar inside. "See? Nougat... Look at that. Yummy." He offered it peacefully, slowly lowering it to the ground as he would approach a hissing stray cat, not a monster from another world. "Here, alright? Eat up, buddy."

Elijah was stunned the thing hadn't attacked any of them yet. Instead, it started to gobble at the pieces of chocolate that Dustin supplied more of with soft words of encouragement before he waved behind him, wordlessly ushering them to go. Elijah lightly shoved the group and his sister ahead as they skipped around carefully. He hung back though, right on the corner. Just in case.

He waited until Dustin rose and covered his face again. He cast Dart a sad look and quietly said, "Goodbye, buddy."

Elijah couldn't help how soft his heart became at that. The Demogorgon was a monster, yes, but somebody loved it. And he knew he was never going to see it again. He threw an arm over Dustin's shoulders and directed him away, squeezing him gently, and insisting, "Come on. It's time to go." Dustin pushed his face into Elijah's side and sighed before they broke apart to catch up.

Running helped them reach the dangling rope that they left behind quicker than before. Elijah could almost see a glimpse of it before it felt like his world was tilting on its axis, but realistically, the tunnel was falling apart. The rumble knocked many of them off their feet, but it wasn't nearly as terrifying as the familiar sound that came from behind them.

"What was that?" Max panicked.

Mike stared gravely at the path behind them. "They're coming." He spun, hollering, "Run! Run!"

Elijah ran like he had way back when he was inside the Upside Down. They reached the rope with their legs weak and their hearts hammering with fear, finally, and Steve hunched over to grab Max by her legs and lift her. She kicked her way to the top, pulling herself free as Steve grabbed Nevaeh next, Elijah kneeling before her after dropping his ax at his feet. His lungs were grateful for the small break but were quickly punished again when he locked his fingers together so Nevaeh could step onto his hands for the boost, and with Steve's help, managed to reach the top too.

The spark of relief made Elijah feel like he could breathe again as his sister's sneakers disappeared above ground. But there were still three other kids as well as Steve and him with monsters growing closer any second. They weren't out of the woods just yet.

Moving the kids out first was a silent agreement between Elijah and Steve as Lucas went next, but it went quickly as Nevaeh reached her hand in to help each one. Then Mike, who dangled for a moment as Nevaeh and Max pulled him to the surface.

It was still too late. The scraping of feet against the Earth and the hungry sneers were feet away now, the shadows of the Demogorgon pack bouncing off the cracking walls. Elijah heard his sister cry for him, and the Party scream for Dustin, but the roars were so much louder. It seemed to be the only sound in the world reaching Elijah's ears.

He grabbed his ax again, wondering if this was how he found out the pain was useful to him. If this was how he was going to meet his end.

It all seemed to crash around Elijah in waves. The shadows became Demogorgons barreling toward them until they were the sea... Rushing by them.

It was almost as if they weren't there. The hundreds of monsters completely ignored the three of them as they scampered like scared little puppies with their tails tucked between their legs, and his fear quickly turned into confusion, Elijah nearly let his ax slip through his fingers to fall over them.

Steve snatched Dustin with one arm and swept him off his feet, leaving the kid to dangle his feet midair while being crushed into his side. Steve's other arm, the one wielding his bat, pressed protectively over Elijah's chest. "Eli," he said through the noise around them, "You okay?"

Elijah batted it away as the last of the Demogorgons left. "I'm fine." He tilted his head back to see the four above them looking back down. Nevaeh with a shuddering gasp of relief, Lucas and Max puzzled, and Mike's jaw dropped. A delicate name escaped his parted lips as the realization finally sunk in.

"Eleven."

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author's note:

i had to replay this episode so many times because lucas's "AAAAAAHHHHHH! 🦅" scream when max whips a corner fucking SENDS ME EVERY SINGLE TIME 😭

i'm so proud to say just one more chapter and this act is officially FINISHED!! act three/season three will continue in this book before the sequel too so stay tuned for the rest!! super sorry i suck at updating pls forgive me!! i wish i was better at it too!! ❤️ this chapter was so hard to write and i just had intense writers block for it, but i'm glad it's done so i can get back into it. anyway, thank you for reading!!

(ps. that quote about kids will be mentioned again in the future of season 4.)
(one more ps. get ready for the spice in the next chapter. that is all! 😏)

- koda

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