SHOW ME WHERE MY ARMOR ENDS.

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STARCROSSED (book one).
°• CHAPTER NINE •°

" YOU CAN EITHER WALLOW
IN GUILT OR STRAP YOUR ARMOR
ON AND SMOKE THIS SON OF
A BITCH THAT TOOK YOUR
BEST FRIEND FROM YOU. "

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THE FEAR OF MONSTERS USED TO KEEP ELIJAH UP AT NIGHT. His father bought him a nightlight shaped like the planet Saturn on the third night his son had woken him up with cries of terror, afraid of the monster under his bed. He swears he used to see what he called a monster with blue, lumpy skin, black eyes, crooked spine and jaw, and long, sharp claws crawl from out of his closet to underneath his bed. It would do nothing, only sit and watch, close, but never attacking. The silent threat caused a deep, unsettling fear like when one is close to tripping on the stairs. But it was constant and lasted throughout the night with no pauses. Elijah knows now it was merely his childlike imagination. There was never anything really there.

One night, Elijah locked his gaze against the nightlight. The orange glow illuminated his squinting eyes as he told himself, You're fine, you're fine, you're fine. His small fists had curled around the seams of his blankets until his stare turned dark. I'm not afraid of you. The nightlight protected him. It kept the monsters away and gave him the spark of bravery he needed to make it through without a single cry of fright.

However, Elijah Wolfhart isn't a child anymore. He never will be again. He's still afraid, but he's determined to put his armor on and show the real monster how strong he really was.

Elijah wonders if Nancy had a similar experience as a little girl. Nevaeh certainly had. But Nevaeh would have Elijah carry her to bed, tell her stories of the stars, tuck her in extra tightly, and only left when she felt safe. He knew Nancy had a better life than them. She had everything he envied, luxury, a seemingly perfect family, everything was perfect. Elijah's hatred was just jealousy in disguise, a green emotion for something that wasn't even there. Nancy wasn't perfect and she knew that. But she didn't know how badass she was either.

He doesn't know if it's grief over the newfound loss of her friend or this insecurity that her life was slowly falling in ruins that has Nancy's knees pulled against her chest with her back pressed on the gymnasium brick wall. A tiger was painted over, its beady eyes above the top of Nancy's head. She barely flinches when Elijah sinks next to her.

"I'm sorry about your friend," he says to her quietly. "She didn't deserve to get caught up in this."

Nancy nods. Her tears had long faded, but Elijah can see the weight pushing on her shoulders. The weight had a name. Guilt. She blamed herself for Barbara's death even though it wasn't her fault. "I should've been there for her," Nancy whispers. "She only stayed because of me... And I was too busy with Steve."

"It wasn't your fault," Elijah declares firmly. He presses his hand over Nancy's knee and feels it tremble under his touch as if she was barely holding herself together. "How could you have known, Nancy? You didn't. So you can either wallow in guilt or strap your armor on and smoke this son of a bitch that took your best friend from you." He waits until Nancy finally lifts her head to look at him, really look at him, and see the determined stare to end this thing once and for all.

The door pushes open and Jonathan, who must have been drawn to them, strolls in. His gaze fell on them. If Elijah wasn't gay, he would've probably been worried at the sight of Elijah holding the knee of the girl he was crushing on. But he only gives them a sad smile before planting next to Elijah's other side.

The three bask in silence for a while. It's nice to have such a calm feeling before being hit with the storm they know is coming.

"We have to go back to the station," Nancy finally admits. She stares at her knees, hard. "Your mom and Hopper are just walking in there like bait. That thing is still in there. And we can't just sit here and let it get them, too." Her voice breaks. "We can't."

Elijah knows Nancy is talking from hatred instead of guilt this time. She loathes the thing that will haunt them forever, that cut her best friend's life short. His words gave Nancy the final push she needed. She was on his side, ready to kill the monster. All they needed was Jonathan.

He at least seems interested. It's hard to pick apart Jonathan's feelings. Elijah still struggled to do so even after having been friends for so long. "You still wanna try it out?" He asks.

"Of course we do," Elijah answers as if that was the most obvious, clear answer in the world.

He'd never start something he wasn't able to finish and neither would Nancy who nods. "I wanna finish what we started. I want to kill it."

The three of them - Elijah, Nancy, and Jonathan - are no longer two. Elijah opened himself enough for Nancy Wheeler of all people to join because he admired everything she was. She was exactly what the boys needed to become the perfect trio. Elijah, his creativity, leadership, and rage that could get him killed one day. Jonathan, his intelligence, loyalty, prepared to follow those he loved to the end of the world. And Nancy, her ambition, fighting skills, it was what made her the perfect soldier.

And even though they felt perfectly balanced, Elijah still felt empty. He couldn't help but wonder if something was missing even when everything he wanted was right in front of him.

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The Byers's house seems to be the perfect place to draw the monster in. It was quiet, further from Hawkins's already small town. No one would suspect what they were doing. No one would be able to see the bear traps, gasoline, ropes, firearm, bullets, and other various weapons they snagged from the station that had them in custody. It felt amazing and powerful all at once to have their shit back. Elijah hadn't stopped grinning until the beam of the headlights hit the house. His gut starts to churn.

The awful feeling grows every minute they take to step up. They don't waste time to brace themselves for the inevitable. Jonathan uses chains to keep the bear trap in place while Nancy loads the gun and Elijah splatters the gasoline across the maroon carpet. He makes a mental note to apologize to Mrs. Byers later. The strong smell is going to be impossible to get out and if they're lucky enough to send this thing back to Hell, the fuzz will be charred and covered in ash.

Elijah does have to say with confidence though that he truly loves the weapon Jonathan made himself once the bear trap was very carefully set in place. The wooden bat Nancy gave him now had silver nails that stick out of either end after being hammered in. A few of them were crooked, but a simple look at it, and Elijah sees it could tear that bitch to shreds if they were lucky.

The first thing they had to shred was themselves, though.

One of the three steel knives Jonathan grabbed for them from the kitchen twirls between Elijah's fingers. They stand opposite of each other, shoulders bumping, struggling to stare one another in the eye as they go over their plan one last time.

"Straight into Will's room," Nancy began. "And - "

"Don't step on the trap," Jonathan reminds them.

Elijah nods. That'd be a bitch. "Right." He juts his chin towards the hall where the string holds a toy with a yellow smiley face dangling over a chair. "We wait for the yo-yo to move. Then..." He's weaponless except for his favorite lighter for smokes. He lifts it and gives the tip a flick so an orange flame appears. If Elijah lost it, he was sure gonna miss it.

"Alright." Jonathan releases a breath and Elijah's thumb closes the tip again. "You guys ready?"

"Ready."

Jonathan braced them. "On three."

The trio lifts their hands in sync. Elijah tucks the lighter under his thumb as he brings the blade to his palm. The skin underneath starts to twitch under the threat as if it knows what's coming. Elijah swallows and silently reminds himself that scars come with armor.

"One... Two..." Jonathan lets a pause follow between numbers before he could finish. Elijah knows he's contemplating otherwise for their sake. "You don't have to do this."

"Jonathan, stop talking," Nancy bursts. Her lower lip starts to tremble.

"I'm just saying that you don't have - "

Elijah's lips part, but he's a second too late. Nancy beats him to it. She cries out, "Three!"

And the three of them refuse to hesitate. Elijah sucks in a deep breath because it's already too late. He grips the handle of the knife for leverage before he slices the blade across his palm. He releases a hiss at the sting that follows. Blood freely starts to flow from the open wound and stains his skin as it dribbles across the floor. Elijah doesn't close his palm into a fist to keep it swallowed within. The pain subsides eventually and all he could do was stare.

He glares at the fresh wound like it wasn't his fault at all. Elijah has always had a high pain tolerance. He just didn't have many cuts. He sometimes wondered if this was how he'd start to feel anything more than this eternal sadness.

Elijah's long daze is cut short when Jonathan appears in his line of view with a bandage roll. "Let me see it, Eli," he offers softly and sits next to him. Elijah doesn't protest, but there's a twinge of sadness when it's covered. The blood starts to seep through until Jonathan winds it across the injury a few more times until it's covered enough to be safe.

A piece of tape keeps it wrapped. Elijah twitches his fingers and still feels the open burn. He tries to get the image of the blood out of his head, but it's almost impossible. It made him feel worse. Why did he feel like this? What was wrong with him?

A noise coming from the porch causes Elijah's head to snap up. His armor hardens and drives him to his feet at the faint creak of the wooden steps. The three send glances at each other before Jonathan shakes his head. "It's only the wind - "

He's cut off when something starts banging on the front door. They jerk in surprise, but a whole new monster in Elijah's mind is what waits for them outside. The wind almost returns to his lungs when he hears Steve call to them from outside.

"Jonathan? Are you there, man? It's... It's Steve! Listen, I just want to talk!"

"Don't let him in," Elijah whispers over the hits that continued. The image of fresh blood had already disappeared from his mind and was replaced with the ELIJAH THE FAG WOLFHART sign. But he didn't only speak up in fear of Steve. He wanted to protect him. The creature surely smelt their blood by now and it would be here any second.

Nancy puts a finger to her lips before lowering her hand. "I'll get rid of him," she quietly promises. Elijah desperately shakes his hands over his throat in a cutting motion, but it doesn't stop her. Nancy quickly moved to the door and opens it a crack so Steve could only see her face. Her head peeks out as she stars at him incredulously, hissing, "Steve, listen to me - "

"Hey, Nancy - what - " Steve stammers.

"You need to leave."

"I'm not trying to start anything, okay?" Steve desperately tries to convince her. Elijah knows he's serious just by the tone behind his words. He still doesn't see it coming when Steve's eyes try to dart past Nancy as he asks, "Is Eli here, too?"

"No, he's not, okay? So you need to just leave - "

"No, no, no, listen! I messed up, okay? I messed... I messed everything up!" Steve grimaces as he slams his hand against the wooden frame in frustration. It rattles in response. "Okay? Really, please, I just want to make things right. Okay?" Steve pleads. His voice drops as he notices the bandage wrapped around Nancy's hand. "Hey... What happened to your hand?" Her limb disappears as Steve grasps her wrist, but she yanks it away. "Is that blood?"

"It's nothing," Nancy says a bit too fast. She realizes her mistake and quickly calms her voice. "It was an accident."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing."

Elijah's heart sinks as Steve starts to push open the door, demanding to know what happened, refusing to take no for answer as Nancy tries to shut it in his face. His eyes dart to the coffee table they littered with weapons just as Steve succeeds and practically falls into the house soon to be under attack. Steve was going to get himself killed.

He's stuttering as Jonathan roughly grabs his shoulder. "You need to get out of here," he orders over Steve's protests. "Listen to me! I'm not asking you, I'm telling you - get out of here!"

It's clear Steve isn't moving without a fight. And even though he ruined Elijah's life, all the boy wants to do is save his.

He lunges for the gun and swipes it off the table. Elijah's fingers rest on the trigger as he points it at Steve and thrusts the barrel towards him. "Steve, get the hell out!" He snarls through gritted teeth.

The world stops moving as Steve freezes. He stares at the weapon in betrayal. He knew Elijah hated every bit of his guts but was he going to shoot him for trying to make things right? Jonathan had already thrown himself off the target as Steve's hands shakily raise. "Wait, what? What's going on?" He panics.

"You have five seconds to get out of here," Elijah commands. His voice dropped an octave lower and he's leaving absolutely no room to fight this.

"Is - is this a joke? Stop, please, put the gun down," Steve begs.

Tears start to burn at the corners of Elijah's eyes. He doesn't know if they're from the frustration of Steve stupidly risking his life or the pain of staring his past best friend in the eye. "I'm doing this for you," he whispers, "Because I care about you, you piece of shit." Elijah's so overwhelmed that he doesn't notice the rainbow color of Christmas lights above them start to flicker.

"Three."

Elijah ignores Steve shouting at him to stop, Jonathan and Nancy calling his name, completely zeroing all of his focus on his main target. He tries to tune the world out as it attempts to pull him back in.

"Two."

Elijah realizes in that moment that he doesn't hate Steve. He never had no matter how much he thought he did. They were best friends who kissed a few times and he truly never loathed him for anything that happened after. Elijah just never stopped loving him. He was too special, but Steve was a match. He burned and burned, and then left Elijah in the ash that desperately wanted to be lit again.

"One - !"

"Elijah!" Jonathan almost screams. His face is flushed, veins nearly bulging in his neck when Elijah finally stops to shoot a stare towards him. "The lights! It's here!"

The hand holding the gun falls to Elijah's side as he spun on his heels. Jonathan was right. The Christmas lights above them were fluttering with color and nearly blinding him from the rapid blinking. And the worst part was, Elijah thought his armor was ready for anything. It wasn't. He was so afraid that he'd accidentally shoot someone instead of that monster when it arrived that he shoved the gun into Nancy's chest.

"Wait, what's here?" Steve demanded.

They ignore him. Jonathan grabs the bat and Nancy clicks the safety of the gun. The three of them brace themselves for what's coming, bumping into each other as their gazes dart across every inch of the room.

"Where is it?!" Nancy exclaims.

"Where is what?!" Steve shouts before he claps his hands. "Hello? Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going - "

A loud crash rumbles above them. The plaster of the ceiling begins to crack before crumbling completely in the corner. Pieces of it start to hit the floor just as the creature Elijah couldn't run from shoves the head without a face through the new opening. Nancy popped off round after round, but it only gives them a vicious roar that Elijah realizes isn't from pain. It's from hunger.

Jonathan grabs Nancy and heaves her away as it starts to break through the ceiling, shouting for them to go. The bullets will do little to nothing. They had to run. Elijah is already moving, but Steve is, well, frozen in place. He finally shut up the second he saw their threat. Elijah wraps his fingers around Steve's arm so tightly it must leave a bruise and gives a forceful yank just as he hears that thing hit the floor behind them.

"Jump!" Jonathan shouts as he guides them down the hall.

Elijah is grateful for the reminder when he comes across the trap. Steve had suddenly started screaming his head off about God and Jesus when they hop one after the other over the open, metal claws waiting to snap shut on anything that hits the trigger.

They burst into Will's room and slam the door shut as soon as Steve throws himself inside. He nearly rams all of his weight into Elijah's back, still screaming, "What the hell was that?! What the hell was that?!"

"Shut up!" The other three collectively shout back before whirling towards the door again.

A quiet click from Elijah's lighter is the last thing they hear when the monster's violent screeches die down. He pants, heart hammering in his chest, hunched over between Jonathan and Nancy, who each hold their own weapons, steady on their feet. And they wait. It feels as if it's taking an eternity, maybe longer, before they finally hear it's quiet thumps. It hits the carpeted ground once, twice, a few more times... And then nothing.

"What's it doing?" Nancy breathes out.

"I don't know," Jonathan mumbles.

A spark of electricity goes off above them before the lights still and they're stuck in a soft, orange glow. Elijah can't let loose the breath locked in his chest. He's terrified the second he lets his armor slip that they'll be under attack again. He carefully slips his thumb over the tip again to kill the flame. "I think it's gone," he tells them quietly. He doesn't dare raise his voice in fear it'll draw it back.

None of them are brave enough to take the first step forward in that minute. They stand, knees wobbling, refusing to look away from the door. Jonathan raises the bat over his shoulder and slowly walks towards the door. He uses one hand to slowly push it open. Elijah winces at the soft creak, but nothing attacks him nor Nancy as they make their way out together. He doesn't bother glancing at Steve to see if he's following them too.

The hallway was completely dead. The only ones alive who enter it are the four who want to hunt and destroy it before it gets to them. Well, Steve... Not exactly. He's the one who fills the quiet as soon as they enter the living room. The emptiness could kill them before that thing got to them first.

"This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy..." Steve mutters to himself with a shake of his head. His voice started to rapidly rise, repeating, "This is crazy! This is crazy! This is crazy!" Elijah glares at him. Steve is too busy to notice as he dashes to the phone, stumbling to dial for what Elijah assumed was the police - he could have snorted at that - but Nancy stops him before he can. She rips the phone out of Steve's hands who shouts at her, "What are you do - what are you doing, are you insane?!"

"It's going to come back! So, you need to leave!" Nancy points to the door as she yells, "Right. Now!"

The blood Steve received from Jonathan's beating was still almost fresh on his face. Elijah can still see him glance from himself and back to Nancy. He knows what Steve is doing. He's torn between being the coward who saves his own life or being a brave hero that saves his girlfriend and... Whatever Elijah was to him.

"Steve," Elijah says quietly because he couldn't live with himself if something happened to him in the grave they've already dug for themselves, "Get out."

He doesn't think twice. Steve Harrington is scurrying out of the house like the coward Elijah knew he always was. He shakes his head and sighs. The guy couldn't even kiss him without placing all of the blame on him. He couldn't even admit who he really was. How would Steve ever have the balls to face that thing again?

The door slams shut after him and not soon after, the Christmas lights begin blinking again. Elijah jerks in surprise before tossing his lighter to Jonathan with a call of his name. "Be careful. Keep it safe," he warns as the shadow and light appear rapidly, "It's my good luck charm."

They press shoulder to shoulder and anxiously swing in circles around one another to scan the house. The anticipation was killing Elijah who was weaponless, sharing his armor with his friends in hopes it'd be enough to protect them.

"Where is it?" Nancy cries out in terror.

"Come on. Come on, you son of a bitch!" Jonathan urges. "You see it?"

"No. But that sloppy bitch better stop wasting our time," Elijah snarls. He sounds so courageous that he wishes he believed it more instead of letting the fear cause his hands to tremble. It drives him to shout, challenging it, "Come on! We aren't afraid of you!"

The lights shut off all at once and plunge them into darkness. Elijah swears he stops breathing in that second. The silence was so, so much worse. All he could hear was the soft taps of their shoes scraping the carpet, there wasn't even a hum of electricity. A shadow darker than their own night slowly crawls across the wall and is followed by a low, rumbling growl.

Nancy spun at the sound that comes from behind the boys and screams, "Jonathan!"

The creature threw itself on top of Jonathan as soon as the cry leaves her mouth. It pins the smaller one to the wood as its face spreads to release a monstrous roar. Saliva dribbles from each sprout and slobbers across Jonathan's face. Elijah can see the rows of teeth along the lines of its petal-like mouth. It was taunting them before planning to kill their close friend.

A sudden scream beside him echoes after a series of loud rounds being popped off. "Go to hell, you son of a bitch!" Nancy furiously screams over the gunfire. She keeps her elbow crooked in front of him so he stays behind her and doesn't do anything stupid. Every squeeze of the trigger sends a bullet into the creature's back and through its chest, but it does nothing. Well, other than graze it with pain and really piss it off.

It stands much taller on its legs than it had before and swivels at who was shooting. Elijah hears Nancy whimper before she shoots again, and again, and again, every bullet making an awful squelching sound as it pierces the skin. But Nancy only has so many bullets. Eventually, the chamber starts to click, a sign of emptiness. The gun fell from her hand and clatters against the floor.

Elijah's arm is thrown over Nancy's chest to shield her as his back smacks against the wall. The thing that stares down at him isn't what keeps him pinned there. It's pure and uncontrollable fear, unlike anything Elijah had felt before. All of his limbs become slack, frozen. His armor has slid, exposing his bare skin, and now... Elijah almost cried out as one horrible thought occurred.

This is how I'm going to die.

But Elijah wasn't the only one brave enough to stare this monster in the face. The Harrington boy he had been so convinced didn't carry a large enough lionheart that could destroy the threat had suddenly thrown himself in front of the two people he cared for most with the wooden bat and uses it as a sword. It's thrown towards the furious creature with a crack that sinks the nails into its chest, driving it back, away from a completely stunned Elijah who could only whisper, "Steve?"

Nancy shoves Elijah's arm away and bolts towards Jonathan who was still spread on the rug. It's difficult to see through the blinking, but he hears her gently comfort him underneath the genuine beating Steve was giving what was seconds away from killing him. He shouts at it, leading it away from Elijah whose feet were cemented to the ground, mouth slack open in shock, amazed at every hit delivered.

This wasn't the Steve Harrington that Elijah Wolfhart always knew. He didn't know how to fight with his rage as Elijah had, but here he was, twirling the bat in a smooth circle through the air before cracking it against it again. Elijah doesn't know if it's wailing in real or crocodile tears. He only knows that Steve made it impossible from the beginning to not be someone to fall in love with.

Elijah realizes through his starry gaze he was only brave because Steve made him that way. He was the one who strapped on Elijah's armor. He saved his life right after nearly destroying it.

The last hit Steve delivers backs the wailing beast into the hall they built their trap. They hear the metal click shut and another sharp cry of pain that could have blasted through Elijah's eardrums. "Jonathan!" He calls, "It's in the trap!"

Chains wiggle as it attempts to shake its ankle out of the clamps. Jonathan stands with the help of Nancy and retrieves Elijah's lighter, snapping the tip to free the flame, and joining the other three at the end of the hall before pitching the fire into the puddle of gasoline staining the floor.

Flames of orange and yellow erupt from the carpet and rip through the air. They crawl closer and closer to it before enveloping its skin completely. It screeches as its thin skin starts to sizzle. It practically glows as it's swallowed whole by the fire, and they have to shield their eyes to protect themselves. Elijah's nostrils burn for too long as they wait for it to just die already. He hadn't noticed Jonathan take off until he returned with a fire extinguisher as the flames start to climb the walls and warn them before pressing the handle, hose pointed to smother the heat.

It stops all at once. Elijah expected it to happen much slower. He lowers his arm and opens his squinted eyes only to have his vision full of darkness, ears buzzing with another heavy silence. He didn't have to see to know the monster wasn't there any longer. His chest starts to burn with the smoke and he has to release a series of coughs just to fill his lungs with air again. Eventually, it does start to clear at the same time the hum of the lights fills the air before lighting them in the dark. Elijah has to blink a few times to clear his blurring eyes.

A spot of ash coats the ground. Smoke is still swirling above it. The bear trap, snapped shut, still has bits of skin sizzling from where it's stuck to the metal. But it was empty. It was as if it just disappeared into thin air after nearly being burned alive.

"Where did it go?" Nancy asks quietly.

"No," Jonathan mumbles in disbelief. Elijah doesn't know who he's trying to convince when he says surely, "It has to be dead. It has to be."

"We had to have killed it. We fucking burned it," Elijah tries to agree, but it's too weak. He doesn't even believe it himself, that the danger was gone for good. It wasn't possible. They couldn't be that lucky.

They slowly edge themselves into the living room as a group. Elijah's brown eyes brighten from the hanging Christmas lights that start to gleam once more. It seemed so odd to have a quiet moment of peace here where they fought a war with something no person should ever see on a battlefield. But they won. They survived. Shouldn't they be allowed to have a minute of peace?

Jonathan leads them to the front door. Elijah's glad they're not shaking anymore as he pushes the front door open and allows a blast of the cool, night air to douse the drifting heat. A street lamp across the front yard flares a few times before it stills with a yellow glow. Elijah releases the deep breath once stuck in his chest.

Elijah and his friends - minus Steve - survived one hell of a story. And he has a lot to do, people to check on, ones to talk to, and much, much more to do. So many unanswered questions and unspoken talks were waiting. And Elijah wasn't sure how much more damage his armor could take before it would turn into fragmented pieces that couldn't be buckled back together.

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author's note:

i'm currently at work, bored as heck, and literally typed the last few paragraphs for y'all. if customers stopped asking questions i could finish this authors note 🙄

anyways this was the big fight i've been excited to write since i started this book cause of my BADASS monster hunting squad. the next chapter will be the last chapter of act one and it'll have a cool moment between eli and steve!! i'm already halfway done with it. so excited for everyone to see it.

thank you again for reading!! i know i say that a lot but i sincerely appreciate it.

- koda

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