i. chapter one,
which hurt less?

sep 23rd, 2008.

' ━━━ she quickly wound herself to
bobby, guiding her forearms above his shoulders
and sinking into it like an anchor. only now could she
discern how much she had needed this; stability and
security, to help redirect the feeling in her guts that the floor was gonna fall from beneath her feet. the last few months had been shitty and dealt a considerably unkind hand to her.

 she pulled away, piecing together an unscrewed face: "how did you find me? i thought i was being discreet with this setup," she expressed, still showing absent attention to the other two strangers clustered in her hall. bobby smiled distantly. "apart from the very discreet wardings you've got littered out there, your dad — he still keeps a few tabs on you."

 the mentions made her look down, a reprised bitter look cast onto her. he'd settle for following her exact whereabouts but couldn't offer a check-in. tori guessed it was true, your dad's always gonna disappoint you more than any man you know. she turned and walked back into her apartment, leaving the door open for the others to attend.

 "whatever your next few words are, they must be urgent. showing up here at seven-fifty-eight — mind you, knowing that i am the opposite of a morning person who's into early conversation. something to do with those ghosts last night?" bobby suddenly looked as though he began bearing the world's issues on his back again, releasing a stiff breath, "everything's going to hell these days. i needed to check and see if you were okay, some hunters didn't make it — all your brothers are fine though; toughest stubborn nails i know."

 astoria's head bounced dismissively. "the twins? i just got off the phone with azza and he's gonna be burning when he finds out their phones really do work, just not to him."

 "y'all had another falling out?" bobby raised his eyebrows, distress covering him when astoria sighed sluggishly. "it's a long story ending in an unfriendly conclusion. anyway, azza's searching up what this is. something to do with witnesses?"

 "the rising of the witnesses, it's, uh —" the taller one stumbled on his words, clearly unable to explain something to her. that's when the sense of stability she transiently felt now began to break just as she worried for. "you might wanna sit down, astoria," bobby suggested, but tori also had condemned stubbornness riveting in her arteries. leaning back on her kitchen counter she folded her arms, alluding whichever one of the three to continue.

 with his verdant jacket looking as though the leather was threaded closely onto his skin, dean took one step forward. there was this don't-doubt-the-doubtable worn in his eyes that made tori wonder more deeply what this was about. "you come from a religious family, right? do you believe in angels?" his words seemed to be chosen carefully but they still struck tori with more controversy to conjure in her mind.

 "i have faith to an extent," she replied sharply, voice prickly it felt like he was handling with a razor. another step forward.

 "right, and you believe in demons?" there was still ambivalence there like it was what he brushed his teeth with this morning. astoria's posture raised. "i have enough scars to know that without a doubt." another step. his right leg was pushing just past where bobby was.

 "angels and demons. what about god and the devil?"

 all faculty of beyond intrigued vaporized from her anatomy. asking something like that felt like it was beyond boundaries, especially god and especially to a hunter.

 she may have come from a devout religious family, but she was a hunter as well. with her fair share of unheard prayers that she bent her knees and cried for. her belief had become strictly limited majorly to whatever she could see with her own eyes. and first hand, what she'd never seen was the omnipotent god merciful enough to do things that are long due in this world.

 her aerosphere visibly thinned, all three of them waiting on her reaction for wide eyes and a befuddled composure but her lids only halved, staring them down for their seriousness before scoffing and walking back to the coffee table for her cereal. "i wear the cross on a neckless for a little more than accessory, mr. winchester, but you're reaching a little too high. god? really? and satan? no wonder why you haven't called lately bobby, you seem a bit busy here."

 bobby scuttered to her briskly. "tori, i swear it really is true. i know you've read the bible. doesn't this sound like revelations? the witnesses, the seals and prophecies?" and the fact that all of this was beginning to add up, made tori feel more panicked than she's felt since she was seven. "we need you, tori."

 how many times would she have to set her cereal back down again? tori's head found its way to her palms before they outstretched to the paintings and furniture she had around the place. acrimony becoming a poison that rapidly controlled her. "what the hell, bobby? do you see this! i am setting up decorations and designs in this place — i am out with a strong desire to never go back in the life. how can you just show up, a little bit of concern here and there for me before trying to line me back up on death's door?"

 it wasn't for any selfish reason she stopped hunting. four months ago, when she and her brothers were still a team, god, everything started going wrong. every case she was in turned south too quickly, beginning with death and ending with it. it was better off to sit back. she had no more assurance in her skills.

 all the training she was forced into, and it did pay off — astoria used to save lives amongst lives every monday through sunday, but since four months ago — her life tripped backward.

 it was better for everyone.

 "hey, i get what you mean," the taller one started to expatiate. "my name's sam and trust me i understand to be out the life and hurled back in. but, astoria, the book of revelations... this is the apocalypse coming." he swallowed thickly so she assumed he hadn't adjusted with it either. sam turned to dean and bobby. "maybe we should give her time to think about this."

 and the lasts words she spoke before conducting them out.

 "yeah, it's best you leave."

oct 30th, 2008.

' ━━━ two deaths in two days, just
twenty-four hours before halloween didn't
feel like a coincidence and neither did the timing
match for it to be anything but a pattern. astoria had
been drowning herself in the revelations of jesus and prophecies since the winchester's and bobby appeared on her doormat, and the guilt would have enveloped her first if she didn't do something to try and stop the apocalypse.

 good intentions were in her blood.

 without a look deeper in the absurd police reports she'd dismembered to her worldwide web accessibility, tori clasped her helmet on top of her slicked curls and saddled her ash-black motorcycle. luckily the small town wasn't too far from her so she wouldn't have to worry about the distance she'd have to cover and the monster.

 the accounts written on the deaths updated to show the details of the recent one; a teenage girl who suffocated in the water of an apple-bobbing bucket, her face suffering serious burns to what was supposed to be cold tap water. it was in the same town as the man who consumed razors in his halloween candy.

 no hearts were torn out or people reported as missing, just odd deaths.

 there wasn't a clear connection for tori to determine whether these were really sacrifices for a summon or just an outlet of revenge because she guessed it was a witch, but this was always a factor of the job. you never know. you never know what's gonna happen out there and you're only certain that a new bruise is going to be present tomorrow.

 pulling up to the house party that had now been fairly quarantined by the local authorities, tori stepped under the tape line, pulling her federal badge out of her inside pocket. the place seemed pretty cleared out apart from the police retrieving reports and the forensics team. she walked up to the interviewing officer talking to the blonde. "i'll take it from here, sir." and by the flash of FBI, he moved out her way.

 tori contributed a warm smile tugging at her lips to the shaken girl. her name was tracy, a witness to the occurrence and she had a blanket tightly secured around herself.

 "my name's agent westbrook, could you tell me what happened here tonight for your perspective?" astoria shoved her fingers into the pockets of her leather jacket. tracy seemed to freeze even more and if tori was as psychoanalytic as she was, it would've gone unnoticed.

 "jenny, she wanted to do apple-bobbing..."

 the teenager's statement was faintly heard midst sam and dean's entrance into the crime scene, attired in their state uniforms. their eyes reached the blonde witnesses, but before sam could approach and assert their customary order of interrogation, dean raised a hand to suspend his brother's stride.

 "i've got this one," dean sounded straightlaced to a smug smirk. sam jeered at dean's grit persistence with smooth sneering advice, "two words: jail bait."

 dean's eyes could have sunk from their sockets just as his mouth fell, "what? no! god, look at our federal associate there." appalled, he turned sam's direction in time for when tori's neck shifted, providing them both a side profile. on the far side of her acknowledgment, for them to be in the same area as her.

 like, there were over six-hundred seals to be broken and to be prevented. her luck that they all chose here.

 sam nodded and moved to search for a second hex bag in the house as dean walked up behind tori and the witness. tracy continued speaking, "it's just so weird. the water in the tub, it wasn't hot. i had just been in there myself."

 "your friend didn't happen to know a man names luke wallace?" dean's sudden voice in the matter aghasted astoria, drawing in a sharp breath midst turning around to glare at his ruggishly proud face. tracy came across as more skeptical now, inducing dean to pull out his own badge. "agent seger —" tori loosening a tight exhale at the clear bob seger reference, " — this agent here is my associate."

 "he means he's my subordinate. but, please, did she?" astoria asked, remembering the name on the previous report of the first victim. tracy furrowed her brows: "who's look wallace?"

 "he died yesterday."

 the blonde's shoulders shrugged, clutching the blanket even closer when she articulated, "i don't know who that is." just in time to see sam cautiously hold up a hex bag that was hidden under the furniture.

 tori sighed when they all walked out of the building: "witches. so fricking skeevy. wait, let me see that hex bag," she as looking toward sam who chucked it toward her.

 "i thought you said you stopped hunting?" dean's tone held immediately after inquisition, sam beside him as they neared the impala, tori leaning on her bike.

 astoria nearly found herself speechless. his tone didn't only hold inquisition but judgment resided in there as well. it sounded like it had been pushed through pebbly gravel. so she did what she would always do when faced with internal questions that dug up an answer she'd rather leave in the dirt.

 with a side of sarcasm and rerouted response. "i'm not hunting, just making sure the apocalypse doesn't happen while i'm on god's green earth." dean scorned under his breath, mumbling to himself, "that's the same thing," as sam perked up. "we should do this case together, more heads and hands means we can get this done quicker."

 tori could already tell sam resembled sincerity as a human. recalling to what he said back at her apartment, how he understood her, but she shook her head at his proposition, turning around and uttering, "i'm not sure that's such a good idea."

 she didn't need any more lives on her conscience.

" what? why not? we've already got leads. this is clearly a witch, right? just targetting people, or a summoning," sam began which made her spin to face them. already having opened the hex bag, seeing the out-of-the-ordinary ingredients collected in there. goldthread, meant to be extinct, rusty celtic coin, looked bronze by six-hundred years, and a burnt bone of a child that she dared not to touch.

 "this isn't just a summoning — this is another seal being broken."

 yet, they only saw this as a better opportunity to work together.

 tori was starting to hate sam's optimism, after somehow coercing her to at least look through the books to figure out what demon was being summoned.

 sam had gone to the library to find more celtic-halloween featured lore books as tori and dean remained in the motel. she laid back on the bed, books surrounding her whilst dean searched the web files of the vic's and other celtic properties. their silence alone was an enjoyable forty-five minutes until dean published a groan from his throat. "how do you not know who's being summoned?"

 paying minimal awareness to him, she flipped another page. "if you've ever read the revelations of john or even other parts of the bible, there a lot of dead people brought up to topside, so it's a little hard to be specific."

 dean seemed unsatisfied by something, how puzzling she was. ever since he came topside, and even before that really, he never knew when to stop: "so, you're not hunting with your brothers anymore?"

 minimal awareness and another page slid between her thumb and forefinger. "looks that way doesn't it?"

 dean closed the laptop, receiving a better view of the girl with curly tresses that didn't even spare him a glance. "last time i saw you, it was kinda like now, halloween, except it was the whole morteron team taking out vamps and you were in a skimpy —"

 he cut himself off by her solid glare that finally attained his green eyes. "—respectable female school outfit." tori's eyes found their way back to the book again. "i didn't know you were there that night" he shrugged his shoulders.

 "i doubt you would, you seemed so concentrated —"

 astoria's eyebrows knotted together, tangling like yarn at her confusion. "are you a fan or something? what's with this interview?"

 "what? no, just, curious is all, cause you're clearly great at what you do and your family name is big in our reserved hunting community. so, how did you do it? "

 her body moved upright for their conversation now, the book finally placed down. "enlighten me?"

 "how did you get out?"

 it was weird how she wasn't expecting this question. so bombarded with the why's of what she did, but dean was asking how, and that made him look more vulnerable than anything. of course, his front was tougher than tough, but, right now it was like he was stripped to ashen-bones for display.

 if tori had to guess why he was asking, it was because the only out he found was death, and even by then, he was still pushed back in the grinder.

 yeah, she had heard of it all in the last month. dean winchester died four — five months ago now and popped right back out like no one's business.

 this just felt all too touchy to talk about, like the scarlet firethorn which was most definitely something you didn't want to touch. she was just as afraid of the why as he was of the how.

 tori shook her head. "things got terrible and i died, and died a little more."

 an ironic look fell onto his face, a huffed chuckle. "that's what it takes? think i met the quota yet?"

 astoria stood up and stretched her arms, a humorless laugh tumbling from her lips. "yeah, well, whether it hurts less for you to sit down or stand up is your call." dean laid back in his chair, kinda thinking about what she was saying and the way it interpreted him until he saw her reach for another book on the other side of the room.

 dean looked at her differently: "which hurts less for you?"

 the question automatically made her stop as if her brain could only process one thing at a time. it caught her off guard completely, like a swipe beneath her feet whilst she fell hard in thought. but before she could think of an answer, the motel door sounded, sam bursting in with a eureka imprinted on his face.

 "it's the raising of samhain!"

━━━'