so, i have a friend. i mean, HAD a friend. she was one of my best late-night buddies. we would call from 9pm to 5am almost every night, just talking about our day. sometimes we would send memes or pictures of jimin back and forth and laugh until one of our parents came in. i remember once one of us was crying, and the other was silent. the other always knew to stay silent like that because we were nearly identical people. 

where did you go? i miss laughing at our inside jokes (which i still laugh at to this day), i miss answering your calls to avoid loud family events. i know that nothing will be the same after what happened, but i do want you to be my friend. i still want us to be friends. 

but now i can't even talk to you. your parents, they don't trust me enough - trust you enough. i am so sorry about everything that has happened to you. but i know that you're a strong person. you can get through it, tough it out. 

i've never doubted you :) 

i know i'm not the only person that misses you. F, S, and K miss you a lot. F and S talk to me about you at school a lot. you don't know this, but for my birthday, S got me a stray kids lanyard with the poop and banana emojis as keychains. i cried. i'm not kidding you; when he handed me that thing, i broke out into a sob in the middle of the hallway. 

F has non-stop talked about how quickly our friend group died (which i hope you don't blame yourself). it wasn't anybody's fault; E and A never responded, J lied to all of us, and then you disappeared. then i got grounded for eternity, and K was grounded. we all crumbled, that's all. 

we didn't really get to say bye to each other. i mean for christ's sake, the last thing i sent to you was a picture of jaemin and the last thing you sent me was a picture of chimmy. we talked a little bit more on here, but that was it. you left. disappeared. vanished. 

i've already said it quite a few times now, but i really miss you. you were my safety net. so please come back to us someday. we'll wait ♡ 

-s