Everyone was staring at her. Everyone. They asked her how she was, she'd plaster a fake smile on and say, "I'm fine, just...getting through it." Her face was still healing, her eye wasn't swollen anymore but it still had a bruise around it. She couldn't sleep without seeing his face. He was in so much pain, she did that to him.

Her heart bangs through her ears as she hears a locker slam shut, almost like a gunshot. The gunshot that killed John...I killed John.

Mia touches her stomach, as she continues to breathe quickly. "Mia." A hand touches her shoulder, she flinches and yelps. "Hey, hey...it's okay..." Gwen says.

Mia's eyes focus on Gwen's and she exhales. "Hi--Hey." Mia slowly recovers from her panic attack.

Gwen bites the inside of her cheek. "Let's get to class. Socratic seminar today...again." Gwen groans.

Mia gnaws in her lower lip, "Uh...seminar...about what?" she asks.

"That's right you weren't here. Maybe the teacher won't make you be apart of it" Gwen touches Mia's shoulder and the brunette lightly flinches.

"I-I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"No, it's fine. I just..." Mia pinches the bridge of her nose as she feels a pain form in her head. "I need...time I guess..." Mia shrugs. "We should..." Mia stops talking as she sees Alex walking down the hall.

"Mia?" Gwen questions.

"I'll...I'll see you later..." Mia walks past Gwen.

Gwen bites the inside of her cheek. She was worried about Mia, I mean...of course she was worried about her. Mia was recently attacked and she had to kill someone to protect herself, it didn't make it any easier though.

"Alex," Mia says.

Alex looks at the brunette and tenses up. He heard about what happened to her, but he wasn't prepared to actually see the cuts and bruises on her face. Her black eye that was healing, the stitches in her forehead, her cut lip. He looks down at his feet, not wanting to stare anymore. He slightly shakes his head and looks into her dim blue eyes. "Hi, Mia...what's up? I mean are you o--"

"Can we get coffee? I mean...or just go somewhere to talk?" Mia asks. "I mean...not right now, just...sometime? I just...I don't know...really want to talk to you." Mia rambles, she was stammering a lot but she was talking quickly.

Alex was taken aback, but he nods his head, "Uh--yeah. Totally. We can meet at Monet's after school. Is that all right?" Alex asks.

Mia presses her lips together, forcing a smile. "Yeah, okay. That's good." Mia says. The bell rings and the brunette flinches again. "I-I-I've got to get to class, I'll see you," Mia says, walking to her class.

Alex thinks for a second, what would Mia want to talk to him about? Would she want to yell at him? Cry? Would she hit him? He totally deserves it if she does.

==========

Mia bounces her leg, chewing on her thumbnail. The brunette hears the door ding, she turns and sees Alex walk in she exhales quietly. "Hey, Mia," Alex says as he sits down.

"Hi." Mia presses her lips together as they sit in silence. "Uh...I haven't...been sleeping much lately." Mia admits. "I don't...know if I can. Every time I see close my eyes, I-I see him on the ground...a-a-and his blood on my hands, the gunshot ringing in my ears..." Mia stops talking as she starts to choke up. She clears her throat and slightly shakes her head. "The reason...I...the reason I asked you to come here is...I just wanted to...understand. How you...got through it?" Mia asks her blue eyes to his.

Alex tenses up, he opens his mouth but nothing comes out. "How I got through..." Alex couldn't finish his question. He wanted to but he couldn't.

"Bryce," Mia whispers. "Just...tell me, please..." Desperation in her voice.

"I-I never did," Alex says truthfully.

Mia's jaw tightens. "Every time I close my eyes...I see him. I feel this...guilt in me that sits on my chest all the fucking time and it hurts some much and it feels like I'm--"

"Dying...suffocating." Mia finishes.

Alex nods his head, "Yes." Alex whispers.

Mia licks her lips and looks down at the charm bracelet Clay got her. She never took it off, even after she found out the truth. She never would take it off. "When you...did it...how what did you feel in that moment?" Mia asks.

Alex looks down at his hands. No one has ever asked him these questions before. They always tried to avoid the Bryce conversation all together with him or at least they're careful with what they say around him. "I just...when I was helping him up. I was really going to help him." Alex says. "But then he started yelling at Jess, then he said that he was going to go after Zach, and I...I saw that old...evil look in his eyes. And I didn't--I didn't want him to hurt anyone else." Alex explains. "I'm sorry, I am so sorry," Alex whispers, he wipes his mouth with a shaky hand.

A tear slides down Mia's cheek, she quickly wipes it. "No, I-I'm sorry," Mia says. Alex looks at her, "W-what?" He questions.

"I didn't know that you had to go through...this." Mia shakes her head. "No one should even have to go through this...and the fact that you have to keep it a secret..." Mia leans back in her seat.

"No, this is my fault. What I did. And...whatever happens to me, I deserve it." Alex says.

Mia pinches her lower lip. "Thank you...for meeting me," Mia says as she sniffles. "You didn't have to."

"You didn't have to talk to me or...ask to see me." He says. "But you did, I should thank you." He says.

"I...I don't know if I can...forgive you just yet." Mia states, her eyes on her hands. "But I'm ready to try..." She looks at me.

Alex cracks a small smile. "I would like that."

==========

"Why do you care about this party?" Mia asks her eyes on the soda bottle.

Gwen shrugs, "Cute boys--hot men--"

"It's a high school party, there will be no men there." Mia lightly chuckles.

"Fair, fair..." She nods her head. "You know who else is going to be there?" Gwen asks the brunette.

"Hmm?"

"Clay Jensen," Gwen says.

Mia looks over at her friend. "O...kay?" Mia shrugs.

"O...kay?" Gwen mocks Mia in a high pitched voice. "That's all you've got to say?" She asks.

"I-I don't know what else you want me to say." Mia rubs her lower lip.

"I've noticed you two have been getting closer." Gwen states. "I totally forgot how cute you guys--"

"Stop," Mia says, her eyes closed.

Gwen sighs. "Mia, come on--"

"I'm not going to a find your drink party." Mia scoffs.

"It would be good for you to go out," Gwen says.

Mia's eye twitches, "Really?" Mia questions. "How would a party about drinking alcohol be good for me? An alcoholic?" Mia questions.

Gwen closes her eyes, "Shit, Mia, I'm sorry. I forgot--"

"I kinda figured." Mia shakes her head and sips her soda.

Gwen presses her lips together, "Just...think about it." Gwen says, she stands up from the bench and walks away from the brunette.

Mia presses her lips together. "Fuck." She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose.

==========

Mia presses a hand against her ear as the music blares through the house. She comes to this fucking party, people were stepping on her toes, still whispering about her. She remembers when she used to love parties, she used to be the life of the party. But the noise was so loud, she couldn't take it. She walks up the stairs and leans against the railing, she closes her eyes and a flash of blood going through her mind. I can't do this.

"I can't do this, I can't do this..." Mia whispers. She pinches the bridge of her nose. She opens her eyes again and sees Justin and Clay arguing. They never argued. Why were they arguing?

"Stop thinking about other people." A voice says.

Mia turns to see her younger self standing there, sipping something out of a red solo cup. "Jesus Christ." She whispers. "No, no, no..." Mia walks around the house.

Younger Mia whistles. "This is a huge fucking house." She comments.

"I hate you," Mia says to the hallucination of herself.

"Yeah...I hate me too." Younger Mia sighs.

"Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer."

"Aw, your boyfriend's singing." Younger Mia says.

Mia looks up from her hands and sees Clay and Zach singing. "Count the headlights on the highway!"

Clay and Zach start to laugh. Clay spots the same girl from earlier looking at him. Zach notices the two looking at each other and smirks. "Dude, she's checking you out." Zach states.

Clay blinks, he looks at Zach then back at the girl. "N-No, she's...I don't get girls. Even if I did, you'd steal her anyway." Clay says.

Zach nods his head, "Yeah. I deserve that one." He says. "But still, I mean, you and Ani are broken up, right?" Zach asks.

"In a significant way, yeah," Clay says.

Zach snaps his fingers. "I didn't steal Mia away." He says.

Clay nods his head, "That's true." He says.

Zach presses his lips together. "All right, I promise, if you whisper one thing in her ear, she will sleep with you tonight." Zach states as he continues to play the piano.

Clay chuckles, "W-what?" He questions.

Zach motions his head for Clay to come closer to him. Zach whispers something in Clay's ear and Clay immediately laughs. "That works?" He asks.

"Every time, but you gotta go for it," Zach says.

"Oh, My God." Clay chuckles. He looks over at the girl standing there. Clay inhales deeply and sighs. "Okay, if I go for it...and I get laid tonight, you let me drive the Audi," Clay says.

Zach smiles, "Yeah...sure. Ok." He nods his head and continues to play the piano. "Go. Make me proud." Zach says.

Clay nods his head and walks away. Clay stops walking as he sees the brunette looking off into space. He saw how solemn and empty her expression was. Once he saw Mia, he didn't care about anything else. He just wanted to know if she was okay.

Clay looks over at Zach and sees him walk away with Chloe. He walks over to her.

"Hey." Clay greets her. Mia blinks, she looks over to her left and doesn't see the younger Mia standing next to her anymore. She looks to her right and sees Clay standing next to her. "Hey." She greets him, her voice gentle.

He holds his hand out and Mia blinks with confusion. "What are you doing?" She asks.

"Uh...starting over?" He says in question.

Mia presses her lips together, she holds her hand out to him and shakes it. "I'm Mia." She gives him a soft smile.

Clay and Mia chuckle softly. The brunette looks down at her charm bracelet. "Are you and Justin okay?" She asks.

Clay pulls his brows together. Mia shrugs a shoulder. "It's just I saw you guys talking and it looked like an...intense conversation." She states.

Clay chuckles softly and Mia slightly tilts her head. "What?" She questions.

"Nothing, it's just...I didn't think you'd care. Especially after what I did to you..." Clay chuckles nervously. "I thought you hated me."

Mia inhales, "I thought I did too. But...it's hard to hate someone you still love." Mia says, bites the inside of her cheek.

Clay looks at her quickly, stunned by what she said. Mia catches someone staring at Clay. "Someone's checking you out," Mia smirks, even though she couldn't help but feel jealous.

Clay turns his head at the girl. "Yeah, I guess so." he shrugs. "Zach...he uh--told me that if I said something to her, I could get her in bed. And I could drive his Audi." He explains to her.

Mia arches a brow, "Oh really? And what would those words be?" Mia asks, interested.

Clay chuckles, he leans close to her, his lips brushing against her ear, and she shivers quietly. Clay whispers in her ear, Mia's eyes widen, and her body heats up. "Does that..." She stops talking as her voice cracks. Mia clears her throat, "Does that...really work?" She asks.

Clay laughs, "That's what I said." He says.

Mia starts to laugh as well. "Why are you over here and not over there with her, then?" Mia questions.

"I was gonna go over there, but...I saw you here alone and you looked...sad." He says.

Mia laughs quietly, "Clay, I'm always sad." She states.

"That's not true, I mean...you were...happy when we were together, right?" He asks, looking down at his cup.

A small smile crosses her lips. "Very." Mia nods her head. She gnaws on her lower lip. "Y'know...there's a way you could still be able to drive the car without being with...that girl," Mia says.

Clay pulls his brows together, "Okay...what's the idea?" He asks.

Mia bites her lip and chuckles. She leans forward, making sure her lips brush against his ear as she whispers the same words. Clay's face heats up, Mia pulls away from his ear and gives him a small smile.

Clay's eyes flit to her lips, he leans forward and closes the space between them. Mia inhales, her heart banging against her chest. She moves her hand into Clay's hair and kisses him back. Clay moves his hand to her lower back and pulls her close.

Mia wraps her arms around his neck as the kiss becomes more intense. Mia knew that she missed Clay, but she didn't know that she missed him this much. They separate from each other, Mia opens her eyes and meets his ocean eyes. "Huh," Mia says with a chuckle. Clay starts to lightly chuckle, his hands never leaving her waist.

The brunette's arms unwrap from around his neck and she grips his jacket. "Do you..." Mia chuckles quietly.

"Do you want to...go...upstairs?"