"I didn't want it to be true" Your fingers balled up into fists, your fingers digging into the palm of your hands. Tears threatened to spill from your soft eyes. "You've been lying to me this entire time? Fucking shit Reiner. I loved you."

What was the context of this conversation? You couldn't control yourself. Your body was moving and thinking on its own.

Reiner reached his hand out to your shoulder, shaking his head with eyes that were filled with sadness. "I didn't mean for it to go this far. But I love you Y/N and I couldn't keep this from you any longer."

You stepped back. Nearly slipping off the hill, hot tears rolled down the side of your cheeks. "Stop- don't touch me Reiner."

"Reiner, that's enough!" Bertholdt released a heavy sigh and grabbed onto his arm, pulling him back. "I told you this was a bad idea."

Everything went silent. It was pitch black. Your eyes flung open to the sight of Reiner's bare chest only inches away from your face. You lifted your gaze and almost felt your soul jump out of your body. He was looking at you, forehead creased with concern.

"You're trembling." He croaked, tugging a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You pressed your forehead against his chest. Surely that nightmare wasn't a fragment of your memory, right? You withdrew a deep breath and intertwined your fingers with Reiner's larger hands, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Just a nightmare that's all." You brushed your thumb against the back of his hand.

Reiner palmed the back of your head and lifted your head so you were looking at him. The concern is his expression didn't falter. "I'd feel more at ease if you'd tell me about it."

You released a shaky sigh. "It was emotional.. and scary. You and your friend were in it. Bertholdt... that's him."

He forced a reassuring smile on his face, stroking the back of your head. "These past few weeks you've been handling these very well without me... I wonder why it's affected you this badly this time around."

"Maybe it's because it had you in it." You mumbled softly.

"Maybe." He planted a soft kiss on your forehead. "Until then, I'll be awake until you fall asleep again."

You proceeded to slowly close your eyes. You pretended you were asleep for a while, waiting until he had nodded off himself. Once you felt the grip of his hand loosen you opened your eyes. After such a nightmare you felt slight discomfort in his arms. You didn't know what he was thinking half the time which scared you even more.

This secret of his might have been darker than you could've imagined.

Suddenly you remember a random encounter you had with a tall lady who worked under Zeke Jaeger. She stopped you from your leisure walk outside and offered to buy you a cup of tea at a nearby cafe. After accepting her offer she began throwing all sorts of questions at you to get a better understanding of what type of person you were.

"Are you close with Vice Chief Braun?" Was the first question that left her mouth as she sipped on the piping hot beverage in the porcelain cup.

You almost spat out your tea at the question. You covered your mouth out of decency and nodded. "I guess you could say that."

Yelena crossed her arms over her chest, eyeing you with interest. "Forgive me if that was intrusive. I just want to get to know you a little better Miss Ivanov."

"How do you know my name?" You sank into your chair.

"War Chief Jaeger told me." She gently tapped her fingers on the wooden surface.

Yelena's questions included Reiner in quite a number of them. Since she worked under Zeke you felt that it was alright to tell her about yourself. Especially since Zeke himself wouldn't come and see you. To you he was mysterious. Intriguing.

Maybe Zeke knew something about you that Reiner wouldn't tell you. If you were desperate, he'd be the one you would turn to.

The night felt excruciatingly long. Mainly because you couldn't bring yourself to fall asleep. You slipped out of Reiner's arms and seated yourself next to the window, eyes completely captivated by the glowing moon. It traveled slowly across the sky. Occasionally you'd hear footsteps outside your door since William would go to the bathroom often throughout the night.

You couldn't get your mind off Reiner. The more you dwelled on the nightmare, the more unsettling it became for you to be sitting in the same room as him. You mentally back-handed yourself, scolding yourself to stop thinking about it. If you truly loved Reiner, why were you doubting him?

You were beginning to hate yourself for that. But you couldn't help it. There was so much you wanted to know but it seemed like every time you tried to talk to him about your past he'd completely change the topic, weaving his way around the questions.

From a distance, you watched as Reiner's chest raised up and down as he slept. The light of the moon illuminated his face, defining all his facial features. God every time the moon light was on him, it was hard for you to look away. He was attractive. Extremely attractive.

"What do you mean?" Reiner leaned his back against the headboard, a softened gaze looking your way.

"Never mind." You waved your hand in the air, dismissing the question you had just asked him. You realized asking him this would only make him uncomfortable.

He narrowed his eyes at you and combed his fingers through his hair. "You look like you haven't had a wink of sleep."

"I did though." You protested with a small smile on your face.

Reiner sighed. "Those dark circles beneath your eyes says otherwise."

You snapped your head towards the vanity mirror, your jaw dropping in bewilderment.

Reiner pushed himself off the soft bedding and picked up the white button up on your bedside table. He slipped his arms into each of the sleeves before buttoning it up.

You quickly stumbled towards him, assisting him in doing the rest of the buttons. He raised his eyebrows in slight shock, putting one foot back.

He grabbed your shoulders and forced you to lay down onto the bed. Reiner threw the comforter over your body and huffed. "Sleep."

"If I was making you uncomfortable throughout the night you could've just said so."

You shook your head opposing his statement. "That wasn't it at all!"

Reiner threw the white long coat on, slipping the red band onto one of the sleeves. "I'll see you later Y/N." He bent over, crashing his lips onto yours.

He wasn't happy.

He swiftly stood back up and closed all the curtains in your room, ensuring that very little light made its way into your room. Reiner left without another word, closing the door behind him. William watched silently from the dining table as the blond stormed out the front door.

—

Zeke sat in front of his desk. Scribbling onto the plans that he had written out for his return to Paradis Island. He tapped his index finger against his temple, trying to squeeze every ounce of knowledge about Paradis itself.

Suddenly a soft knock caused him to drag his pen across the paper, creating a long line of ink. He sucked in a deep breath, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Come in." He spoke in a deep voice, attempting to hide the irritation in his voice.

Yelena entered the room with a thin packet held against her chest. She closed the door behind her and seated herself in front of the War Chief. She presented the small packet, the letters in front were printed in bold. Y/N IVANOV.

She cleared her throat before speaking. "I've written down all her responses in here, including the basic information you had told me about her."

NAME: Y/N IVANOV
DESCENDANT OF: ELDIANS
DAUGHTER OF: JAMES IVANOV, EDEN LOREIN
AGE: 17
BIRTH-DATE: (MONTH) (DAY)
OCCUPATION: EX-SURVEY CORPS SOLDIER

Zeke was thoroughly impressed with the data Yelena was able to acquire, considering that she had approached you as a complete stranger. He stroked his blond beard and hummed.

"The memories are coming back quick than I expected." A small sly grin crept its way to his face.

—

authors note;

thank you for 900+ reads <3

signed out, kyr0mii