"Let me take you out tonight," Cillian said to Auden, "Somewhere nice."

The pair were sitting in her office — Auden was currently on her lunch break. Occasionally, Cillian would stop by to spend time with her on her break, bringing her lunch or a snack. Today, he had surprised her by bringing some purple irises. She had noticed lately that Cillian was being extra affectionate and she suspected he was trying to cheer her up.

Auden raised an eyebrow at him as she bit into an apple, "Somewhere nice?"

Cillian was sitting on top of her desk, fiddling with the flowers in their vase. "Well, we've been together for a month now and I realized I haven't taken you out on a proper date."

"That's because the press are having a field day with us," Auden took another bite, the sweetness of the apple bursting in her mouth.

She had a point. Since their exposure, they had to be extra careful in public. People began hanging outside the gallery in an attempt to snap a picture of Auden or Cillian when they left. Luckily, they had yet to discover the back alleyway entrance. Their "dates" had mostly consisted of meeting at one another's apartments, having take out, and watching movies. If Charlie happened to be with Cillian, they spent most of their time keeping him busy with Mario Kart.

They had been careful, but press had been sneaky. Some had figured out where Cillian lived and managed to snap ultra-HD photos of her arriving to his place late one night after she got off work. Brigid had sent her the photos a few hours later, along with an article that bashed her age and appearance. After that, she was forced to use the back garden entrance.

As Auden suspected, majority of the stuff coming out had a lot to say about the differences in their age and the fact that Cillian's divorce had not been officially finalized. Auden didn't let the issues regarding her age  get under skin. It also didn't necessarily bother Auden that Jenni hadn't settled in court, but she wasn't happy either that Cillian was technically still married.

Some people had a lot to say about how she looked. Those articles were the most nasty ones and the ones that hit her the hardest. They would compare Jenni's tall, gracefully slim build to her short, curvy body and wonder why Cillian "downgraded" to an average American. She tried to not let it get into her already fragile mental state, but it was becoming more difficult.

The press and the approaching anniversary of her fathers death was becoming increasingly difficult to handle. Most days, Auden felt that she could not get out of bed, that she did not deserve to. If Cillian didn't remind her, Auden's mental haze would cause her to skip meals, showers, and everyday tasks. Cillian was the one who had been forcing Auden to take care of herself, and for that she was grateful. But she knew he wouldn't have the patience for it forever. Auden wasn't sure if she could handle going out in public, being exposed yet again, and seeing another disgusting article about them.

"I don't think it's a good idea," She responded, leaning back in her desk chair.

Cillian plucked the apple from her hand and took a bite, pondering over what to say next. After a moment, he swallowed, "We can't let the press keep us from world forever."

She knew he had a point, but Auden was still weary. Charles has been clear that she needed to keep her relationship in check within the press, then again a date didn't sound like a bad idea — as long as they didn't make out in the middle of the restaurant.

As if Cillian could sense her hesitation, he added "It's a private restaurant. I know the owner. No one will bother us there. Trust me." He looked down at her with those reassuring blue eyes that Auden found so much comfort in.

She heaved a heavy sigh, "Alright, fine. But if I see anyone there with a camera I am dipping."

Cillian smiled, "And I'll be right behind you."

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Auden shivered as she entered the restaurant with Cillian. Wrapping her fluffy white cardigan tightly around her frame, she took in the dimly lit scene in front of her. The decor was set up in an countryside Italian aesthetic, with fake vines climbing up the walls and candles at the center of starch white table cloths. It was a beautiful scene and every table seemed intimately private and away from others. There were a few couples scattered about, but it didn't seem busy at all.

A man with blonde hair guided the pair to their seats. As they walked, Cillian placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her through the room. When they sat down, Auden noticed there was already a bottle of wine chilling in an ice bucket.

"Wow," Auden said as Cillian pushed in her chair. "This is fancy."

"I told you I wanted to take you somewhere nice," He replied as he sat across from her, unbuttoning his coat in a swift movement.

Auden's eyes rested on him for a moment, drinking in the sight of his beauty. His hair was greased back slightly and his eyes looked as bright as ever against the white button up he was wearing. The candles, coupled with the low lighting, casted shadows across his face that emphasized his angular cheekbones and sharp jawline.

Auden's ogling was interrupted by a waiter popping the cork to their wine and filling their glasses. He was a tall man, with extremely pale skin and sandy colored hair. He wore all white, with a black apron tied at the waist. "Mr. Murphy," He bowed his head, "The usual?"

Cillian glanced at Auden, the corner of his mouth curving upwards as he gave the waiter a sly smile. "Tell Mathew to bring us something special."

The waiter's eyes widened and he nodded quickly before scrambling off.

"What was that about?" Auden asked as she brought the wine glass to her lips. The sweet taste of the wine filled her mouth and traveled down her throat, warming her stomach.

Cillian waved his hand, dismissing her question, "Nothing. Mathew is the owner and the head chef. We go way back," He paused, taking a sip of his wine, "Used to be in a band together."

"I hope you didn't just order me something weird, like snails or a cow tongue," Auden joked, her fingers grazing the stem of her wine glass.

Cillian let out a chuckle, leaning forward on the table and resting his elbows on the cloth. The way he sat reminded Auden of the night she took him to get pancakes while he was drunk. The thought made her smile. So much as changed since then.

"It's Italian food, Auden. No need to worry."

The two continued to talk as they waited for their food, enjoying the wine and the atmosphere. The moment was nice, and Auden tried to enjoy every minute of it. She didn't know when they would get to do something like this again.

The waiter came with their food. It was a giant plate of lasagna, and Auden wondered how she was ever going to finish it. As she took a bite, she groaned in satisfaction. The sauce, clearly made with fresh tomatoes, was sweet and tangy against the thick noodles. The ricotta added a saltiness that balanced out the acidity in the tomatoes.

"God damn it," Auden said taking another bite, "I love food."

A laugh escaped Cillian's mouth as he ate, "I know. You always get that look on your face when you eat."

Auden wiped her mouth with a napkin, "I have an appreciation for a good meal. It didn't happen often growing up. My dad wasn't much of a good cook."

Cillian's eyes softened at the mention of her dad. "What was your father like?"

Auden's chewing slowed slightly, as she took in Cillian's question. It was a simple one, but a question that was difficult on her nonetheless. "He was a great man," She said, swallowing her food before taking a big gulp of her wine. "Very hardworking, and quiet. Not very affectionate though."

She looked down at her plate to avoid eye contact with Cillian as she moved food around to seem busy. She was afraid that if this conversation continued in the direction it was going that she would crumble into tears at the table. "I really don't want to talk about my dad right now," She whispered.

After a moment, Cillian spoke, "It's okay to talk about people we've lost Auden."

Her eyes shot up to Cillian, who taking a drink of his wine. Obviously Auden knew that, but she just didn't want to talk about her dad. His eyes remained on her the whole time, "I know," She said, a bit too harshly before sighing to calm herself down. After a beat longer, she spoke again: "You know, after my father died, my ex-boyfriend dumped me three days before the funeral. After years together."

Cillian rose an eyebrow at her, his eyes filling with curiosity as he continued to eat his food.

"I was left completely alone," Auden continued. "I had no other family or true friends really. So you can imagine why I am not really reluctant to talk about my dad, given the fact that I've dealt with it by myself for so long."  I don't want to let someone in, just to for them to leave, she added to herself.

Cillian thought about what Auden said for a moment, as his fork clanked against his now empty plate. He seemed to be treading lightly, like he didn't know how to approach what was truly on his mind, "I get that. But you don't have to do it alone anymore," Cillian said, leaning back in his chair. "I'm here. I've been here, but you won't let me in." On the outside, his face was emotionless and patient, but Auden could tell by his voice that he was growing slightly irritated.

Auden understood why. She has never been open about her emotions — it was her biggest struggle. And when it came to her dad, it seemed impossible to even have a conversation about him without her bursting into tears. She was afraid of being vulnerable in front of someone who could very easily leave her for someone better. Auden knew, however, that if she remained closed off that their relationship would never go anywhere.

Auden swallowed, as she reached her hand across the table to grab his gently, "I'm sorry," She murmured, "I'm trying to be open. It's hard for me."

Cillian squeezed her hand reassuringly, his blue eyes analyzing her face. "I am here for you Auden. I will keep reminding you until you believe me," He said, his voice laced with underlying sadness.

As Auden sat there, staring at the man who she felt so strongly for, she wondered if she would ever be able to open up to him. Would she be able to open up her wounds and bare them all to Cillian? Without knowing if he would run away in the long run? There would be no turning back once she did. Could Auden take the risk of getting hurt engulf herself in the man that sat before her? Auden was so afraid to lose Cillian, yet she was doing nothing but pushing him away from truly knowing her. She had to make a change, and quick.