"okay, jackie, kiss marry kill-"

it was an understatement to say that i could not believe my life at the moment.

hours before now, we had all piled into my jeep & headed straight to jackie's house right after school. skylar, grace, and jackie seemed super pumped for tonight, and i just tried to keep my breathing at a pace that wasnt going to make me pass out.

"i just cant believe you got harper madden to come." grace gawked from the passenger seat, "this is like, historical."

"okay, okay," i said, trying to calm the laughing teens surrounding me, and hide the gut wrenching fear inside of me, "bully me all you want. i stand by my choices!" i sent a loaded finger to the backseat, "lets just keep the drama at a minimum tonight."

"and keep walter boy, both girl talk and face to face contact, to a minimum, please." skylar begged, and i sent him thankful eyes in my rearview mirror. he smirked my way, but only momentarily, so the girls couldnt see.

i had really only known skylar because grace was close to him, but i had never been more thankful for him then i was now.

ten minutes later, i stood staring at the house as everyone piled out of my car.

it was huge, with windows covering every wall and what looked like a barn off to the side. the land it was on was also huge and surrounded by thick woods. this was a house that could hold a family as big as the walters, no doubt. and it was in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of town.

and i felt like it was towering over me, at the moment.

i swallowed thick liquid as i forced my feet to take steps toward the front door.

steps i never thought i'd take. into the walter's.

katherine greeted us at the door, and we surprisingly got all the way to jackie's room without encountering a walter brother. the house was like a maze, and we passed by many roomies until we came upon jackie's, at the way back. i let out a breath i didnt know i was holding once jackie shut her bedroom door.

safe, i thought.

i still had a certain itch of anxiety in my stomach, now sitting on jackie's bed with grace, watching skylar paint a poster for the silent auction, and jackie go over a list of donations local companies had offered. someone could barge in at any moment, or the chaos i always imagined going on in this house. boys streaking, or getting caught with a girl in their room, or a fight. all the horrid possibilities were giving me a stomach ache.

however, grace was insanely bored, and almost immediately broke the no-walter-girl-talk rule.

"im sorry guys, but i had to agree to work a church barbeque tomorrow just to be here," grace groaned after her failed attempt at the classic slumber party game, as she plopped herself back down on jackies bed, "so humor me. please."

"if this auction falls even a dollar short of our goal, you know erin will hold this over my head until we graduate." jackie pleaded back.

"ugh!" grace groaned some more, "okay, fine, skylar," she didnt necessarily listen, but directed her attention to the boy painting instead, "kiss marry kill, cole, alex, isaac."

"grace!" skylar and i whined at the same time.

"why are you the way you are?" skylar threw harsh words and a paintbrush at the girl.

"maybe because my parents wont let me date, and my friends never let me dream!" she threw back, especially throwing her glares towards me. i put my hands up in defense, "whatever. we'll just have to play again after tomorrow when you spend all day with alex!" she wiggled her eyebrows towards jackie, and i did so too, mockingly.

"alex and i are just friends." jackie urged.

"and it's just a cider cart, not a kissing booth." i sneered.

"okay, well what is love if not friendship on fire?!" grace dramatically threw her arms out to her sides, staring at the ceiling all dreamy eyed.

i went to do my famous gag, but jackie beat me to it.

"im so proud." i put on a motherly tone, putting my hand to my heart and sniffled back a sob. jackie giggled and turned to continue her list.

a bang startled all of us as a blur of a male came bursting into the room, screaming his head off.

the moment was here. the chaos had begun. my imaginations were right.

and my heart was pounding.

luckily, it was one of the younger walter boys, so that fact that he was only in his underwear was less alarming. but even if could tell them all apart, he was unrecognizable due to jackies bra covering most of his face.

"i got your booby holder!" he yelled, running in circles around jackie's room. jackie looked frantic, and skylar and grace just stood in shock.

quickly, i scooped the kid out of the air and plucked the bra from his head. he squirmed in my grasp, screaming something about cooties and running out of the room. not without bumping into skylar of course, making him spill yellow paint all down his shirt. 

i slowly handed the bra back to jackie, who threw it against her dresser before chasing after the boy, yelling his name.

"uh," i said, slightly panicked, and still trying to calm my heart from the jump scare that was benny walter, "skylar, how about you go clean up your shirt." i said, "and grace, go get me some paper towels for the floor." i eyed the hard wood, stained with yellow streaks.

both saluted and were on their way, and it was then i realized that i had personally crafted my own nightmare.

being completely alone. inside the walter house.

stupid, harper. just stupid.

not knowing what else to do, i waited awkwardly on jackies bed for the teens to come back to me.

but the open door was given me anxiety. what if one of the boys walked by and saw me in here, sitting, staring out at them.

what would i do? what would i say?

after about five minutes, enough time for grace to find paper towel, i went to go shut the door, at least to give me some peace of mind.

but as i came upon the hallway, i huffed. knowing grace for such a long time, i knew she was ecstatic about finally getting a reason to enter this house, and i woke up to the reality that she probably was either giving herself a tour or got distracted by one of the males scattered around this maze of a haunted house.

i shouldve known who i was giving instructions to. i had failed to know my best friend well enough.

i was suddenly too antsy to sit in here and wait, especially with paint drying on the floor right next to my converse. i was a firm believer in if you want something done right, you must do it yourself.

with a shaky breath, i took a step out of jackie's room, and into the hallway.

who are you? my thoughts taunted me, and i tried my best to ignore them. to push them down to my aching gut.

who would've thought counseling jackie would lead me to endure exposure therapy as well? i guess both jackie and i had some growing to do this year, at least one of us signed up for it.

taking a slower trek around the second floor and down the stairs, i was able to notice more. the specific smell of each room as i walked by it, the noises, and the old pictures of the family hung up on the walls.

as i reached the stairs, i tried to remember the floor plan from entering about an hour ago now, but my memory failed me.

one wrong turn, and i could run into a walter boy. or worse, multiple of them. in their territory, where they could say or do anything to me, without my usual advantage of distance to protect myself from them.

the hours was eerily quiet, and i thought everyone inside it could hear my heart beat.

as i descended the stair case, cringing at each creak of the floor, i realized the living room must be on my left, because the tv blasted enough for me to hear it from half way down. a soft blue glow came from that side too, flashing with the scene changes.

out of instinct, i turned the corner.

the living room was dark, i noticed the sun had set outside too, and the tv illuminated most of it. enough of it to show one walter boy sitting on the couch, watching the screen intently.

when his eyes shifted, i immediately went to turn away. biting my cheek as punishment for being so impulsive and stupid.

"hey," a voice called out to me, and i slowly spun around.

his tone was slightly questioning, communicating he probably had no idea who i was.

me being in the walter house proved to be falling deeper and deeper into the hole that was every one of my worst nightmares happening in real life.

i sheepishly smiled and waved, regretting every decision i had made that got me here, "hey." the one word had dragged on for two long, and i wasnt sure what else to say. i managed to think of and force out an "im one of jackie's friends."

"yeah, i know who you are," the boy leaned forward to finally give me enough of his face to identify him, danny, "you're harper. harper madden."

my shoulders shrunk, he knew who i was?

"oh, hi." i said it again, "danny."

his smile confirmed i was right, and i inwardly sighed of relief.

right when i was about to turn away, something caught my eye on the coffee table. it was covered in old theatre plays, musicals, and scripts.

"youre into theatre?" his question startled me, but made me realize that i had started to creep over and reach for the many books and dvds, i almost stopped myself until i had eyed my favorite.

theatre had been a love of mine for a while now, i always knew if i was ever brave enough to do an extracurricular, i'd want to do theatre. there was just something about becoming someone else, getting lost in a character, that seemed satisfying to me.

"yeah, i guess so." i mumbled as i plucked out The Merry Wives of Windsor by shakespeare under a few other playwrights.

"nice one!" danny's eyes gleamed, "shakespeare. you know it?"

i nodded, realizing i was ankle deep in my first conversation with a walter brother. but it had been, pleasant, so far.

like i said, and had to remind myself in this moment in order to calm my heart beat and my racing thoughts, danny was the chill one.

"i love it." danny's eyes asked me to elaborate, so i did, "well, falstaff clearly wants to just use these women, but theyre wise enough to see right through him, and use each other to exploit and humiliate him." i let out a laugh, "its about as queen behavior as you can get, back in the 1600s."

danny laughed with me, nodding, "youre so right."

i laughed with him, and our eyes met.

there was a moment of silence, but then a scream from upstairs startled us both.

"i better go." i muttered as i turned back towards the stairs, but a creak in the floor was my only warning before something bumped into me.

someone.

"woah," a deep, smooth voice startled me back a few steps, and a shirtless cole stared back at me.

i lost all ability to speak as my mouth went dry.

"uh, jackie and benny are in a fist fight upstairs." he said, still holding my gaze, but it seemed like he was more so talking to danny, "i found grace in my bedroom, and nathan has a boy in his room."

my eyes widened at the part about grace, but my heart dropped at the boy, who must be skylar, part.

what was he doing? he was supposed to be my anchor of no drama tonight?!

"cole, this is harper." danny introduced the two teens already staring at each other. one with the beginnings of his classic smirk in his eyes, and the other her usual unfazed glare. i felt it appear when he mentioned grace in his room, and his stupid smirk grew larger.

"i know harper." he spoke again, but this time i wasn't sure who he was talking to, "benny said you touched him with a bra?" his right eyebrow raised far above the other.

i scoffed, "only after he ran in with the thing over his head."

the boys laughed around me, smiling at each other.

"sounds like benny." cole looked back over at me, "good work handling him, its not common to see that kid lose." his smirk only grew, "what was your name again?"

what was he doing? i asked myself. why did he care?

"harper?"

"no, i know that already. like your full name."

"harper gray madden?" the words seemed to flow out of me, like i was a machine responding to a command. and even worse, they were weak sounding, my voice soft and all cracky. my question had come out like one you'd ask when your unsure. when you're scared.

i wouldn't be cole walter's machine. and i wouldn't be scared of him either.

i just huffed, and stormed past cole. i didn't have time for his games, and didn't want to give him anymore of my attention. or worse of all; have him think that i wanted him. and i had paint to clean up.

"well, see you around, harper gray." he called after me, and although my steps stopped for a moment, i wouldn't let myself turn around to face him again.

completely forgetting about my need of paper towels, i stormed up the stairs, trying to dull my blazing cheeks before i reached the top of the landing.