enchanted
chapter 34, i miss the old me.

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The next day, Rory was discharged from the hospital on Tommy's orders and the girl stood in the kitchen of Polly's house. Polly was sitting at the table, feet up and a cloth over her eyes. She was feeling the effects of the day before, and as Lizzie got up to go and fetch Tommy, Esme looked at Polly with a smile on her lips.

"How you feeling, Pol?" she asked.

"Fuck off," Pol responded and Rory pursed her lips nodding.

"Okay then."

Tommy walked into the room, first spotting his niece standing next to Esme then looked to his aunt at the table, "I heard you were giving speeches off the back of a wagon, Pol."

"I can't remember a fucking thing," Polly sighed.

"Well, Moss tells me you were threatening to burn down the town hall," Tommy replied.

"Oh, Tommy, we were having a laugh," Polly replied, removing her cloth. "You know, actually, the crowd around me was bigger than the crowd around Jessie Eden."

"Who's Jessie Eden?" Tommy asked.

"She's too soft," Polly replied. "You're not going to break the capitalist system talking about separate lavatories for women."

"Who's Jessie Eden?" Tommy asked again.

"She's a new best friend," Lizzie replied.

"A shop steward at the Lucas factory," Esme told him.

"A woman shop steward," Tommy said. "I've heard of her."

"There's a leaflet here if you want to take a look, Tommy," Lizzie offered, handing Tommy the leaflet.

"So, separate lavatory," Tommy said. "Is that it? Is that what you want? I don't know what you want. You have to tell me what it is that you want and then I'll know."

Esme walked forwards, standing in front of Tommy, "Actually, we want to know about the robbery you're planning. Not the factory robbery. The other one. The one you're not telling the women about."

"John has a big mouth," Tommy said.

Rory shook her head, "No. No he doesn't actually, Arthur's the one with the big mouth."

"Arthur told Linda. Linda told me," Esme said.

"Well, at least she's good for something," Rory joked making Lizzie smile at her.

"Polly?" Tommy said.

"Read the leaflet, Tommy," Lizzie sighed.

"Ladies, why don't I talk to Tommy privately?" Polly suggested. "And then I'll report back to you faithfully."

"You're not just gonna take payment from the Russian, are you, Tommy?" Esme asked. "You're going to clean them out, is that right? So, what happens after, when they come for us? When I'm about to give birth because if you are I want my family nowhere near it. She's already been through enough and I won't let her go through anymore."

"Get out, get back to work," Tommy demanded.

"Esme, come on," Lizzie said.

"Keep us posted won't you sister," Esme told Pol the turned back to Rory. "Ro, come on."

"I will," Pol told the woman.

"You know Tommy, for someone so wise you can be a bit stupid at times," Rory told him and made a move to follow Esme.

"Come back here a minute, I'm not done talking to you," he said to Rory who rolled her eyes and walked back and sat down in front of him. He looked to Pol to leave the room while he spoke to her and the woman reluctantly left standing in the other doorway.

"What?" she asked.

"How long?" Tommy asked.

"How long what?" she asked.

"Had he been hurting you," Tommy elaborated.

"Since just before yours and Grace's wedding," she replied and Tommy's face hardened.

"Are you okay?" Rory asked him and he stood and stared blankly at her.

"I lie awake at night, at 4 o'clock in the morning and I blame myself for their death and for nearly getting you killed... again."

Rory stood up, an emotionless expression on her face , "I'm not going to stand her and say I feel sorry for you because I'd be lying. Part of me feels sorry for you because you lost Grace again but the bigger part of me knows you fucked with the mafia and thought you got away with it and I know her death is my dad's fault for killing that guy but it's also yours for getting involved with them in the first place and then leaving it my dad to sort out. You have no sympathy from me because Grace isn't the only person you're going to lose if you carry on pissing off people who shouldn't be pissed off. I'd rather live on the road with the Lee's than stay here and fear for my life every time I leave my house." Before Tommy could say anything to her she had already walked out.

It was in that moment that Tommy realised the old Rory, that everyone knew and loved was gone and it was his fault. He had ruined his niece, the one thing he said he would never do and he ended up doing it and for that he would never forgive himself. He knew that if she went through with her threat, she would be safer.

It was times that this that he wondered what her life would be like if Lilian had stayed. Would she be safer? Probably not because she was still a Shelby. Tommy wasn't stupid despite Rory's thoughts he knew Lilian was back, he knew all along because he was the reason she came back and not Ada because he was the one who found Lilian and sent her to Ada to find Rory but he hadn't told John and he swore to himself that he would keep Rory's secret, after all it was the least he owed her for putting her life at risk so many times.

There were times when Tommy and Arthur both miss Lilian, she was like their little sister and they too hated the way she just left without saying goodbye to them and then leaving Rory on Pol's doorstep but part of them both knew she didn't want to leave Rory and that she'd never really leave her because she wasn't like that.

"Mum? Can I go home I don't feel well, my side hurts again," Rory asked.

"Yeah be careful," she replied.

On her way back home, Isaiah appeared making her jump. "You've been told you're not allowed to go anywhere without me," he said sternly.

"I'm fine, I'm only walking home," Rory told him shrugging his hand off her shoulder.

Isaiah tilted his head, "What's wrong?"

"My side's hurting," she replied and they both looked down to see blood seeping through her dress. "Oh for the love of Christ," she whined.

Isaiah chuckled, "Come on, let's get you stitched up again." They began walking to her house where Louise was.

Isaiah opened the door and Louise popped her head round. "Rory, what did you do now?" she asked.

"I must have moved too quickly or something I don't know it just started hurting then I was bleeding," Rory replied sitting on the sofa.

Louise knelt down in front of the girl. "Isaiah go upstairs into the bathroom and get the first aid kit and bring it back down and take your cap off before James and George take it again," she instructed the boy.

He nodded and hung his cap and coat up then ran upstairs to get the first aid kit.

Louise then stitched Rory back up and Isaiah had to go because Tommy wanted him or at least that's what he told Rory.

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Once Louise had stitched her up she managed to get up the stairs with Isaiah's help. "You okay?" he asked, hanging her jacket up.

"I wish I had never set eyes on him then none of this would have happened and I'd be okay," she mumbled, laying on her bed with a wince. "Can I ask you something?" she asked as he hovered at the side of her bed. The boy let out a hum.

"Do you miss the old me? The me before Sabini and the me before Robert because I do."

The boy sat on her bed, "You were annoying before Sabini and you still annoying now."

She rolled her eyes, kicking him slightly, "Last I checked it was you who kissed me at Tommy's wedding so I can't be that annoying."

"Don't remember hearing you complaining," he flicked her leg.

"Answer me," she tutted. "Do you miss the old me?"

"No," he shook his head. "I liked you then and I like you now and nothing will change that."