enchanted
chapter 45, if you loved me, why'd you leave me?

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Rory and Eve had moved back into the old house, Lilian stayed last night to check on them. "We left our Christmas presents at the other house," Rory told Eve who was getting her black dress from the wardrobe.

"We left pretty much everything there," the girl spoke, looking at the blonde stood in front of her.

Lilian had knocked on their bedroom door, they could have had their own rooms but they decided to share again. "I'll take you back up to get them if you want, after the funeral fire," she offered and the girls nodded.

Once they were all ready, they walked down to the funeral fire.

The Shelby family looked surprised as they watched the three of them approach them. Rory met Freya's eyes and they gave each other a small smile.

"We didn't know if you would come or not," Arthur cleared his throat.

"He was my dad, of course I was going to show up," Rory replied.

"He was like my dad and I didn't get to say goodbye," Eve replied clearing her throat and avoiding his eyes.

Whereas Lilian looked at Arthur and said, "They asked me to be here and I wanted to say goodbye."

Eve had put the note she had written last night that had splotches of ink from where her tears fell, in a crack of the wagon. Finn came up beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist as she leant into his chest. Freya watched the girls place their letters in the cracks of the wagon. Rory and Lilian made their way over to the back near the blonde girl. They wiped away the tears as quickly as they came, listening to Tommy's eulogy only half-heartedly.

The note read;
"Dear John,

Never thought I'd be writing you a letter, well your body a letter but I never got to say goodbye to you properly I just watched Rory and Esme breakdown in front of me as I checked on Michael.

I never got to thank you, either of you for taking me in as your own when my own mother kicked me out. I never got to thank you for being the closest thing to a dad I ever had. I wish I could have said goodbye but it was for the best that Rory and Esme did after all they are your daughter and wife.

I hope we meet again, maybe in a different life and I get to tell you this in person rather than in a letter that you'll never be able to read but until then, thank you and I hope you rest easy. You don't have to worry about Rory because me, Finn and Isaiah will look after her, I promise.

All my love,
Your adopted daughter, Eve.
xx"

Even writing the letter made her feel sick because she knew he would never read it.

Lilian had put a photo that was of the two of them in the wagon with teary eyes.

Rory couldn't part with any photos or anything so instead had put in a letter in also which read;

"Dear dad,

I knew you'd laugh at me for being soppy so I'm not going to be I'm just going to but I am going miss you and Esme more than anything.

I never got to tell you how much I appreciated you and for keeping me and the rest of your football team as you called us safe and for trying your best to keep us out of the family's business but I couldn't stay away I wanted to know why everyone so desperately wanted to be a Peaky Blinder or better yet a Shelby. Now, if they could see the horrors that last name and what the term Peaky Blinder actually entailed they wouldn't want no part in it.

Anyway I'm getting sidetracked, but what I really need to say is, thank you. Thank you for keeping me and thank you for marrying Esme. I wouldn't be the person I am today without either of you.

Just so you know, part of me dislikes you, not hate but dislikes you for breaking my heart before any boy could. Now, I have no one to walk me down the isle when I get married but you stood in front of the bullets aimed for me and I really wish you didn't. I really wish you would have just hid in the house like Esme and Eve. I wish you were still alive and I could tell you this in person. I also know that you wouldn't want me to hate Tommy because Arthur killed Mr Changretta but it's his fault, I'm writing your body a letter and not you because he got involved with the mafia in the first place and left it to you and Arthur to deal with when he was away grieving. Also, I don't know if you heard what I said about Tommy being the angel of death but I meant it and I'm not ringing him up with an apology because I'm never going to forgive him.

We will meet again, whether it be in heaven or hell (we both know it will be hell) and we can be a family again but until then can you convince Martha I'm not the devil's child and I hope you get to see her again.

Lots of love,
Rory.
xxx"

She looked at the wagon before saying, "We'll meet again, in another lifetime but for now I'll just hold onto the memories we made."

"You okay?" Ada asked her as she watched her place flowers down.

"Does it ever stop hurting?" Rory asked.

"No but it gets easier, the more time goes on the less it aches but you'll always miss them," Ada replied pulling her into a hug. "I see you managed to convince Lilian to come. It was also a bold move bringing her to the meeting the other day. I'm proud of you," she smirked.

"I needed a parent and she's all I've got left," Rory replied.

"This is how John wanted to go, on the smoke," Tommy began.

"The truth is, we died together once before. Arthur, me, Danny Whizzbang, Freddie Thorne, Jeremiah.. and John. We were cut off from the retreat, no bullets left, waiting for the Prussian cavalry to come and to finish us off. While we waited, Jeremiah said we should sing the Bleak Midwinter', but we were spared, the enemy never came. We all agreed that everything after that was extra. And when our time came, we'd all remember."

"You remember that the god spared you, but what did you do with that extra time that he gave you, ey Thomas?" Polly questioned.

"Pol, please not now," Rory snapped and her aunt looked at her with an apologetic look.

Lilian watched the wagon set alight with smoke rising, looking over at Rory and Freya and then Lottie who was standing on her other side and then to Eve. Every single one of them were all looking down with tears in streaming down her face. The bright flames made everything real, John was dead. Freya and Lottie had lost a brother but Rory and Eve and the rest of the kids had lost their dad.

It was only a matter of seconds before the wagon was completely engulfed and a gun shot was fired, panic firing from everybody's mouths as Lilian watched Isaiah drag Rory and Freya down with him as Ada clutched onto Lilian and Lottie's arms taking her down with her with her hand on Finn's back who was shielding Eve. While they were lying in the grass, they heard another gun fire and squeezed their eyes closed, Rory reached for Freya and Lottie's hands.

"Do not return fire! I repeat, do not return fire!" Tommy shouted as Rory and Freya's heads snapped to him.

"Stand down! The men doing the firing are on our side," Tommy shouted, the men who had loaded their guns becoming at ease before another shot sounded, making the girls flinch, the memories of Christmas Day coming back. Freya let out a scoff.

"I took the trouble, of getting an invitation to Aberama Gold," Tommy informed them.

"Oh fuck, now it's begun," Johnny dogs could be heard.

"You put it out in the open on purpose," Polly spoke in realisation. "You used John's funeral fire as a fucking beacon," Pollys voice became louder as the anger risen.

Polly Gray was horrified at her nephew's disrespect for his own brother, Freya was disappointed and Rory was disgusted but she expected nothing less from him.

"We were never in any danger Polly," Arthur reassured her, having not reacted as severely to the gunfire as everyone else, instead watching everyone panic with a bemused expression on his face.

"Never in any danger? Never in any fucking danger are you having a laugh? Wherever he is we're all in fucking danger. You set a trap. You used my dad's funeral as fucking bait," Rory shouted getting in Tommy's face, slapping his chest.

"Rory," Arthur spoke, pulling her away from the man and back over to Freya.

"Why do you find this funny? It's not funny, Arthur, he used us as bait to provoke the war we have against them!" Freya stated staring at her oldest brother in disbelief.

"I don't find it funny, Frey," Arthur disagreed.

"You set a trap!" Polly accused, standing up and glaring at Tommy as she marched up to him.

"Finn!" Tommy shouted, ignoring his aunt. "Finn! Go to the yard and light the fires."

"The girls are right, you set up a trap and used us as bait!" Polly seethed.

"Who's dead?" Polly questioned.

"Our enemies," Tommy replied calmly.

"Who's dead?" Polly repeated, her voice low.

"You wanna know, Pol?" Tommy asked rhetorically. "Two fucking local no good Italians heard about the vendetta, tried to make a fucking name for themselves. That's who."

As the two adults were arguing no one noticed either of Freya or Rory appear in front of Tommy, they stared at him in confusion, disgust, disbelief and disappointment as there was no shame or guilt on Tommy's face while Polly glared at him.

"We got word to them, about the funeral," Arthur explained. "The where, the when. Told them where to stand for the best shot."

"And Aberama Gold will do the rest. That's the language of vendetta, they take one of ours, we take two of theirs," Tommy spoke.

"You used your own brother's funeral," Polly's voice low and laced with poison. "You put your little sister and niece in danger, the two you swore to protect and to shield them from this word but yet once again they're right in the middle of the danger. When did we vote on this, Tommy?"

Rory had let her anger get the best of her once again, "My dad is dead! He's dead! He's not coming back! This, today, was the last chance we had to say goodbye to him and you had to get the vendetta involved. You just don't know when to stop. Do you know what? You are sick in the head and I'm glad, I'm so fucking glad I'm getting out soon."

Arthur grabbed her arms to pull her away once more, "It's alright, Rory. It's alright."

She let out a dry laugh. "No, Arthur it's not alright. None of this is alright. My dad, your brother is dead all because of him. It's all his fault. Does that not hurt you? Knowing your brother, your own flesh and blood is responsible for your other brother's death? Does his death mean anything to you? Or do you just not care because you're too far up Tommy's backside to give a fuck? Your brother is dead, not coming back. Your own brother and yet neither of you could give him a decent fucking funeral so no Arthur it's not alright, none of this will ever alright, unless my dad can rise from the dead none of this will ever be alright," she screamed at him and finished by slapping Tommy around the face.

"You are sick bastard and I don't ever want to speak to you again," she spat and walked away.

"Now look what you've fucking done, John was her dad, like he was Eve's but that means absolutely nothing to you because you're a cold hearted man," Pol spat at him watching her niece walk away with Eve and Lilian rushing after her.

"Curly," Tommy called out, ignoring his aunt once again. "Get a boat ready to take the bodies to the city. And another boat, for anyone... for anyone who wants no more part in this. 'Cause this is how it's gonna be, Polly!"

"You know Tommy, there's times like this, the things you do such as this that sometimes make me wonder if we, more specifically and importantly you actually descend from the devil's bloodline," Freya stated, glaring at him.

"I'm not staying for this, Arthur," Linda spoke up, making Freya look back at her. "I'm going home."

"Oh yeah?" Arthur said, holding out the key to his old house. "Home's fifty seven, Watery Lane. You go there, lock the doors, you wait for me."