song reccomendation: i wish you would - Taylor swift (yes im a swiftie, yes im a gaylor)

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"Jihyun!"

Jihyun stops in his tracks, eyes widening once he sees Taehyung jogging down the hallway. Admittedly, he's tempted to make a run for it, but by the time he's outweighed whether or not it would be a good idea, Taehyung stops in front of him.

Fuck.

"Hey." Jihyun tries going for a casual tone. It ends up coming out as a squeak.

"Hey." Taehyung says, flashing him a smile. "Can we talk?"

Or we could just run away from our problems like I've been doing the past seventeen years?

"Sure... Are we talking about it?"

"If we're thinking the same thing, yes."

"Are we?"

"I dunno, you tell me."

"Um, I was talking about the whole trading ptyalin thing?"

"... Is that a drug or something? Did we do drugs, Jihyun?"

"Yes. No. No, that's not what I'm saying- I'm talking about the sucking each other's faces. Mouth-to-mouth action. My lips losing their virginity. Our labium superius oris' touching. You-"

"Yeah, we're talking about the same thing." Taehyung says hurriedly. "Yeah, so, um, I wanted to say I'm sorry."

Oh.

Even though he expected it, Jihyun bites down on his lip, hard, trying to ignore the way his heart practically fucking sinks at that.

"Yeah. Me too." He says softly, looking down, and he doesn't see the look that flashes through Taehyung's eyes as he clears his throat.

"Yeah, so... sorry if that was weird and everything. I shouldn't have done it."

Jihyun opens his mouth, wishing he could say something better. Wishing he could tell at Taehyung for being so fucking stupid, because he should have kissed him earlier, hell, he can kiss him anytime. Wishes he could tell Taehyung he's a fucking dumbass for apologizing because the only thing he should apologize for is not having dragged him to his house and fucked him senseless that night, because, shit, he has no idea what he's feeling but if this is what love is supposed to feel like, he fucking loves him. But nothing comes out, except for a small nod.

"And um... I'm really sorry if I ruined... whatever we had before that." Taehyung continues. "But, like, we were both drunk, so, of course we made some bad decisions and mistakes, so you don't need to hear yourself up about it. We're still friends, right?"

Mistakes. Of course Taehyung thinks it's a mistake. Why wouldn't he, though, when he's the Prince Charming and Jihyun is just Jimin's little brother. He's not even as compelling as Jimin, who's loud and stunning and funny, he's just the brother figure to his entire friend group, practically a child to them who just quotes Vines and worships Seokjin and Taehyung.

It's times like this when Jihyun wishes he could be more like his brother. Jimin, who has more friends than he can count while Jihyun just hangs out with his brother's friends, Jimin always looks effortlessly gorgeous and is just weirdly striking, and by now Jimin would have grabbed Taehyung by his collar and kissed him again and told him he loved him, and Taehyung would kiss him back because he's just so perfect, while Jihyun's just the little boy he thought was cute when he was drunk.

And now they're friends again. Because for Taehyung, it's so easy to just brush off the fact that he was Jihyun's first kiss because he practically makes out with the entire senior year at most parties, and it's just another one of the many dumb, drunken mistakes he's made, a little annoying, but impactless.

"Yeah. Friends." Jihyun echoes, and Taehyung tries for a smile.

He feels shitty, honestly. He fell for his best friends brother without even thinking about what could happen. Without thinking about what Jimin would say, how pissed he would probably be that Taehyung practically just got him drunk and decided it would be a great idea to kiss him just then, when Jihyun doesn't even like him.

It's sad, really, how the one boy he truly liked would never like him back, because he's nothing to him other than a brother figure and the shallow Prince Charming of the school.

He wouldn't be surprised if Jihyun hates him now, is upset that his first kiss was drunk and his brother's best friend who practically sluts himself out to an entire school, Taehyung thinks a little bitterly.

"We should probably go." Taehyung says quietly. "What lesson do you have next?"

"School's over, actually. Teacher's sick."

"Ah. Um, so, I guess we'll see each other around? Are you going to the next party?"

In all honesty, Taehyung's a little embarassed of his desperate he might seem, his friends are never going to let it go, but Jihyun doesn't seem at all bothered.

"I don't really know."

Taehyung nods slowly.

"But, um, we're good now, right?"

Well, depending on how "good" we can be.

Jihyun nods quickly.

"Yeah... Bye, then. Good luck finding a date for prom- wait, no, that sounded rude-"

Taehyung laughs, thankful that at least Jihyun's funny enough to make this less awkward than it is.

"It's fine. Thanks. Bye, Jihyun."

"Bye, Tae."

Taehyung turns, hurrying to his next class quickly and Jihyun practically sprints the opposite direction, not looking back once.

_______

Fuck

Just as Jihyun managed to slam the bathroom door and lock himself into a stall to call someone, he realized the main flaw in his plan.

He doesn't have friends.

Like, literally.

There's his elementary school best friend, but who calls someone they used to know when they were seven, comes out to them and then starts crying about a boy who broke his heart.

Then there's his seventh grade best friend, but they haven't spoken since he tried to get Jihyun's "girlfriend" to cheat with him. Looking back, how would that have worked? Would she have sent heart emojis to him instead of Jihyun? Would they be oh-so-scandalous and hold hands? Anyways.

Since high school, he never bothered to become close friends with anyone, due to his strict parents, academic stress and social anxiety. It's not that he's the loser kid whom everyone hates, it's just that no one's friends with him.

There's his soccer team, but they're on a "bro-level" not "crying-about-beautiful-boys-who-are-too-good-for-you-and-they-know-it-level".

Maybe a week ago, Jihyun would have been able to call Tae, but what's he gonna do now?

So with a sigh, Jihyun gives up, praying that he won't think it's weird, his finger hovering over the call option, before hesitantly pressing down.

_______

And that's how Jihyun finds himself in Seokjin's - admittedly gorgeous - room, bawling his eyes out, while Jin hugs him and attempts to make the situation lighter.

"He literally said I'm a bad decision and a mistake!" Jihyun cries.

"Well, maybe he meant on terms of being born. Y'know, like if your parents had swallowed you, you wouldn't be here!" Jin suggests.

Jihyun makes a strangled sound, resembling a laugh and hits Jin.

"Stop! That doesn't help."

Jin shrugs. "I made you laugh."

Jihyun pouts hugging his pillow even tighter. "Tae used to also make me laugh, and then he became my first kiss but I meant nothing to him, so now I'll watch him replace me, both in terms of friendship and potential relationship."

"Jesus. Didn't he say he wants to stay friends, though?"

"They always say that." Jihyun responds dryly. "Have you even read fanfiction?"

"No, because I actually have a life."

Jihyun rolls his eyes, pulling the covers back over him. "Whore."

Jin rolls his eyes back, ready to retaliate, but then his phone rings. He picks it up, seeing that it's Yoongi, and hesitantly accepts the call. It's never good news when Yoongi calls.

"Jin, help me." Yoongi whispers, from the other hand.

"Does Hoseok want you to top?" Jin asks. "Chill, just shove your dick in and you'll be fine."

"Huh? No, it's not like that. It's Taehyung."

"Oh. Is he dying?"

"Something along those lines. Apparently he lost the love of his life."

Jin blinks in confusion. "Did he mention this...love of his life?"

"Nope. But their love or whatever was unobtainable, one of a kind, short-lived and he can't live without the other dude or chick."

"Christ. What are the odds of this love of his life crying about the same thing in my bed right now?"

Yoongi pauses. "Depends. Who would you be referring to."

"Jihyun." Jin answers.

"...Those fucking idiots. In that case, I'd say it's a solid 99 per cent."

Jin groans as well, casting Jihyun a weary look. "Stupid fucktards. I can't believe they actually broke each other's hearts."

a/n i need to update more :')