i've been in a constant state of derealization. i don't feel normal. i feel like I'm crazy. sometimes I feel like I'm watching a movie or a tv show, and I could just hit pause in the middle of the day. I feel like my actions wouldn't matter because it's not real. but it is real.

i feel dangerous. i feel I could do something bad because everything doesn't feel real. it's so hard to explain how I feel and what's going on.

it just. doesn't feel right. it feels fake, not real.

i don't know.