chapter twenty!
to live with a secret

    NINA WAS emotional seeing the long gashes across Peter's bare chest. Her gaze fixed on the dried blood around rapidly healing wounds, but not quick enough that it stopped Peter wincing at each touch her delicate fingers made with the wipes. That lizard thing had done this. Done this to him. Clawed his chest and made him almost collapse in her room ... what if Peter hadn't made it out? What if he hadn't made it to her window? That thought made her bite her lip to hide the tremble. Nina tilted her head, brows knitting together to hear him grit back a low hiss.

    "How did you learn to do this?" Peter suddenly asked her, eyes fixed on the way her nose twitched a little in her determination to stay calm.

    Nina━finished with cleaning the gashes━folded up the dirty wipes and threw them into the bottom of her waste bin. "My dad," she answered simply, voice stuck in the back of her throat. "He wanted me to know how to apply first aid in case I was━or someone else━was in trouble. A life skill I never realised I would need so soon." She sent him a weak pointed look that made Peter's brows lift, gaze soft.

    She watched him shift against the chair, his knees brushing against her sides from where she knelt in front between his stretched legs. He couldn't move much, but there was some relief to see that already, he was getting better. Peter reached up tender fingers to her cheek, knuckles tucking away loose strands of hair from her face. Nina found herself leaning into his touch, eyes fluttering closed.

    "It's okay," he told her softly. "I'm okay."

    Nina nodded. Her hand wrapped around his outstretched arm, meeting his gaze and forcing a smile on her face. But as it grew, it became genuine, a blush rising at the way he looked at her━so sweet and so caring.

    Peter met her smile with a slight one of his own, gaze flickering down to her lips. Nina's heart fluttered with amusement at the way he sat forward, eager to try and capture her lips in a kiss that would've surely made her knees weak. Nina played with him, tilting her head and following his teasing movements as if to kiss him. She waited until his large hand gently slipped around to the back of her neck to whisper against his lips, "Easy there, bug boy."

    His chuckle tickled her chin. It made her grin. "What did you just call me?"

    She met his eyes with an innocent, but cheeky glance, "Come again?"

    Peter Parker chuckled again, fingers tracing the back of her neck trailing upwards to thread into her hair. Chills made her limbs buzz. "Are you playing with me, Nina Hart?" murmured Spider-Man, lips brushing the corner of her mouth. They pressed like kisses from the wind to her cheek and her jaw, and Nina almost let herself fall, entrapped, into the web of his touch━until she felt the tension to his shoulders and saw the blood still coated on his chest.

    Nina shook her head, "No," she croaked, rubbing his arm. Peter frowned, looking up to meet her gaze that was suddenly welling up with tears. Her brows knitted and she pursed her lips, taking a deep breath to keep herself together, but she couldn't stop herself. All those worries and the thoughts she stressed over came back like a hit to her heart.

    Realising how upset she was, Peter's fingers gently fell away from her neck to cup her cheek, catching the tear that rolled down. "Nina..."

    "I know what this is," she told him, shaking her head slightly. "I know what happens..."

     Peter's gaze followed the hang of her head. "What is this?" He asked her gently. "What happens?"

    "This," she gestured to the claw marks on his chest. She heard Peter sigh as he set his forehead against hers. "I know what my grandfather did to save people, and now he lives with nightmares and bullet scars ..." Peter listened, supportive in the way he brushed his thumb along her cheek. "It's not some game Pete, it's ..." she swallowed her need to cry. "It's dangerous, and what if ..." Nina's forehead slipped down closer to his brows. "What if something happens and you get hurt, and you won't get back up?"

      At first, he didn't say anything. Nina searched his gaze for an answer, even though she already knew it in the sombre sigh that drifted out of his nose. He held up his other hand to cradle her head━his palms warm and comforting that made her feel completely encased in nothing else except just him. 

     "I got you," he whispered and she sniffled back her tears. Nina set her forehead back against his, her own hands sliding up behind his neck to hold on. "I got you, okay? But ..." he pulled his head back so she'd meet his determined gaze, "... I got to stop him, though. I have to. 'Cause I created him."

     Nina frowned, taken aback. "Sorry?"

    Peter pursed his lips, "I ..." he had a sad look in his eye, "I gave Connors the equation ... that━that made all of this possible." He shook his head, trying to speak but for a few seconds, nothing came out. Peter then sighed, deciding to just say, "The same equation my father had been working on━fixed, secretly━now, I realise why he kept it a secret."

     He met her gaze again. Nina knew she couldn't persuade him otherwise, no matter how much she wanted to. How much she was prepared to beg so he'd be safe. But if Nina couldn't stop him, she was going to help him. She was going to be there when he needed her, she knew that much. As if knowing, Peter smiled sadly and brushed more hair off her face. "It's my responsibility. I have to fix it."

     Reluctant, Nina nodded. Slumping, she leaned into his warm touch, gently kissing his palm. She felt him settle his knuckles under her chin, tilting it back up, "Hey," murmured Peter. Nina saw that flicker of mischief back in his eyes. "Let's get out of here." She quirked a brow, confused. Soon, Peter grinned. He shook his head, and she couldn't help but chuckle as he leaned in, "Let's just get out of here━" his nose brushed against hers, "━just for a minute. Come on."

     Nina wanted to, but she shook her head gently, grazing the tip of his nose. "No," she whispered, chuckling despite it. 

     "What?" Peter slipped an arm around her waist, drawing her closer. "Why not?"

    "I can't," she met his grin, incredulous. "If my parents see me leaving I'd be dead."

     Just by the look in his eye, Nina knew that only gave Peter a great thrill. He smirked, smug, "You're parents aren't gonna see you leaving."

     She realised what he meant, and her grin turned into an excited beam.

*ೃ༄

    "NO, MAY, I'm so sorry, I━I don't know where he is."

    Nina sat against her pillows by her window━the same place she's been the past hour, gazing outside to her fire escape and Queens, waiting for Peter to show up. May had called six times now. She had called Ned, his Lola, Nina and her parents, the school, five police stations ... none of them had come up with anything; no idea where Peter might be. And Nina hated telling her she didn't know when she had a very good feeling she did. That he was out there, in constant danger as Spider-Man, and Nina couldn't tell May that at all. She had to listen to her hold back tears on the other end of the line, unable to find anything on her nephew since she was told he walked out of detention. 

     She had already lost Ben, Nina couldn't even begin to imagine her thoughts over not knowing where Peter was going every night, either. And Nina could tell her━she could say: He's Spider-Man, and listen as May's worries only got worse, just like her own had. And with the ferry incident━Nina knew her instinct told her something was wrong, even if she didn't know the Spider-Man sighting at the destruction had been her own nephew. 

     Nina kept her gaze outside into the late evening, dusk had turned to night but it was still bright━the lights of Queen and New York beyond glared on the sidewalks and tarred roads; it's continious song into all night of cars, and work, and late night dealings. The city never slept, and neither did Spider-Man. 

     "If I hear from him, I promise, May, I'll let you know," said Nina. "I'll keep calling him."

     May's voice was shaking on the other end, "Thank you, Nina. My, God━what has he gotten himself into?"

     Nina's pursed her lips. She pulled at the bandaid on her leg from only earlier today when she fell doing tricks before she got home after school. "I don't know," she lied. 

     Peter's aunt sighed, "Thank you, Nina, really. But call me if━?"

    "I will call," Nina reassured her. And she meant it. "I promise."

     Hearing May end the call, Nina sighed, too, letting her head fall back against her wall. She checked her many messages to Peter and missed calls. Nina knew what this was; she knew it. She didn't know whether Peter knew it as much as he should. It wasn't a game, it wasn't always tricks and quips━it was dangerous. Very dangerous. And Nina was terrified that one day, something will happen and he'll get hurt; that one day, Spider-Man won't get back up. And none of them will even know until the moment he doesn't return. 

     Nina grew tried waiting for him; her eyes drooped and her head lolled. But she stopped herself, taking a sharp breath and shaking her head. Yawning, she glanced down at her phone again when there was a creak outside against the fire escape. 

     She shot up, eyes wide and heart racing. Nina gasped. 

     Peter was there, on the otherside of her window, but he wasn't wearing his suit. Her brows furrowed, seeing the I survived my trip to NYC shirt and pyjama pants. She noticed the red rimming his eyes and his blotched cheeks━he had been crying. 

     Nina pushed open her window, silent as she met his gaze, confused and yet the way he stared at her━she knew he knew that she found out, and he didn't want to talk about that right now, he just needed her. 

     She stepped aside and watched him crawl into her room. She wanted to ask where he had been, what he had done, why he was so upset and why he was dressed like this, but she held back. Nina closed the window and stepped towards him. Even before he turned around, she pulled him into a hug. 

     Nina closed her eyes, setting her head into the crook of his neck to feel him slump and break. His arms wrapped around her tight, like he was scared this was just some dream. His arms were stronger than they used to be, but the way he held her was the same. He hasn't changed at all, Nina has learnt. 

     Peter Parker shed a few tears, smelling like a back-alley Queens dumpster. Nina held onto him just as tight despite it. They stood there for a while, not saying a word. Peter cried and Nina wanted to cry because he was. But she stayed strong, letting his arms wrap her in tight and protective, as if never wanting to let go. 

     Finally, he took a breath and whispered, "I lost the Stark Internship."

    Nina didn't exactly know what that translated to in Spider-Man, but considering he wasn't wearing his suit right now, she had a pretty good idea. She rubbed his back, not sure on what to say, but in the end, she didn't need to. Peter sniffled and added, "Nina, I'm so sorry." He squeezed her even tighter. Nina hid her face in his shoulder, letting herself just fall into the web of his embrace. "I'm so, so sorry."

     "I know," she mumbled back. She felt him shiver at her words tickling the crook of his neck and shoulder. Nina felt herself grow emotional. He was sorry. He was sorry━and she knew exactly what over. "Me, too," she assured him. 

     He pulled away. She saw his eyes had grown redder. Nina looked up and remembered the days where she glanced down. But they were starting to become one and the same. Peter couldn't stray from who he was deep down, even if he wanted to. Even if he tried to push them all away, he came back to her window again and again. 

     Nina resited the urge to cup his cheeks, knowing it wasn't the right time. They had a little while to go to get back to the way they were. "I missed you," she decided to tell him instead. "I missed my best friend." 

     Peter nodded. "I know," he murmured. "I broke our promise, I'm so sorry."

     She shook her head, "We both broke it," she corrected him. 

     Peter Parker sniffled again, searching her gaze and understanding what she meant. "I missed you, too," he told her and Nina smiled, relieved to hear him say it. "I should have never let you go, Nina."

     "But perhaps you had to," she tilted her head slightly, understanding it all, now. "But now can we go back to being friends?"

     Immediately━no hesitation━Peter Parker nodded, and she saw a smile amongst his tears. That miserable look in his eye disappeared slightly to know that something in his life was okay again. That he hadn't completely lost her. Peter had gotten Nina Hart back. "Yes, please." At his eagerness, she chuckled. And then, that sliver of mischeif arose, and her smile turned into a beam. "But maybe we should establish some ground rules."

     Nina nodded, amused, "Establish some ground rules?" She chuckled. "Okay. What's the first rule?"

     "Rule number one is always the same," Peter told her. Knowing what he meant, Nina grew a little tearful. Her old best friend pulled his arms away to hold her by her arms, and while she missed his touch around her, she knew it was important to change. "Where you go," promised Peter Parker to Nina Hart, "I go."

      The tear slipped, but it was happy. "Yes," she agreed, as if they were little kids all over again, locking their pinkies together and declaring to each other in the back of their first grade classroom that they'd never leave each other's side. "Where you go," she repeated his words, "I go." A thought occured to her, and Nina added, "Can I set a rule?"

     Peter nodded.

     "Rule number two: no ghosting me."

     She saw him scoff, but nod again, seeing it as a very fair point. "Never again," said Peter and Nina nodded, satisified. 

     "Good," she smiled. 

     Peter smiled, too, "Good."

     The smile soon faded though as whatever happened crossed his mind again. Nina's brows lifted, gentle. "I'm gonna text May," she told him and he hung his head. "She's worried sick, Pete."

     "I know, " he mumbled. "I know..."

     "I'll see you at school," said Nina, stepping back. "My parents are asleep, so ... if you're quiet, you can go through the front door."

      Peter nodded. With a sigh, he fiddled with his fingers. He turned on his heel to her door, but hung back. Glancing over his shoulder, he said, "Thanks, Nina."

     "Anytime," she answered and gave him a final smile before he left. Nina Hart sat down on her bed once the door closed, part of the weight on her shoulders finally lifted. 

*ೃ༄

     a/n: sorry for the short chapter but 'tis the result of updating during the week ahahah. ugh, it's been a day. don't be a receptionsit. 

     hope you guys loved this chapter despite it being short <3 (and no memes ... i'm soRRY1!!!)