SHADOW OF DEATH.

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DEAD BOY (book one).
°• CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN •°

" NOT LIKE THIS. "

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DAXTON SHIELDS NEVER IMAGINED STEPPING A SINGLE FOOT INTO HIS PAST AGAIN. Killing Henry Bowers was barrelling through the door head-on and leaving splinters behind. He's nearly forgotten why he hated the smell of cigarettes, where he grew up, and most of all, what he felt for Richie Tozier. He hadn't realized it until now. He had been running from his past all of his life. It was behind Daxton like a shadow, creeping across the ground, growing closer and closer until it had the chance to swallow him whole. Daxton thought he could escape it by putting himself through the torture of serving his country, but it made it worse. No matter what path he took, it would lead him here. There was no exit sign no matter how hard he looked for one. Pennywise was blocking it.

The pain in Daxton's ear had gone from feeling as if someone shoved the blade of a steak knife in it to a sharp throb that started to dull as Charlie cleaned up the clogged blood as best he could with the hem of his shirt. Daxton tried not to flinch at the touch. He couldn't hear Charlie's apology for how it must've hurt since he was standing on the wrong side of him and wondered, with a sudden ache in his heart, if he'd ever hear out of the ear again or if it was something he could adjust to. It was something that Daxton and Charlie had been prepared for when they enrolled, and they had seen it happen many times to their brothers in arms, those who were too close to blasts. Daxton hadn't thought it'd be him one day - he lost partial hearing just like that.

Daxton stretched his jaw open a crack and felt a slight pop that helped the pulsing of his eardrums. He nodded weakly at the Losers who were eyeing him closely and batted at his brother's hand while he frantically glanced around. Its eyes had disappeared into the shadow and he didn't feel safe. It couldn't have just vanished, but he didn't see Mike anywhere either. "It's okay - where's Mike?" Daxton anxiously asked.

The others start to call for their friend in the same panic, but Mike appeared with a hand in the air, calling, "I'm here!"

"Did we do it?!" Eddie exclaimed hopefully.

Daxton felt Charlie's hand heavy on his shoulder as he shook his head in dismay. "There's no way. It couldn't have been that easy," he stated. Daxton felt a shiver pass through him and he reached up to lay his hand over Charlie's, hoping for grounding.

"But we - we put the tokens in the thing, that's good, right?" Richie added desperately as if it had solved all of their problems. As if throwing memories from their past into a fire and chanting turn light into dark over the flames had worked. Daxton didn't believe it for a second after watching a red balloon inflate from the bucket to explode and take half of his hearing. Charlie was right: it couldn't be that easy. They weren't that lucky then, they can't be that lucky now.

Beverly hit the end of her flashlight a few times to fix the dimmed light and lifted it. The final target of the beam had confirmed one of Daxton's worst fears.

Pennywise's massive head jumped with a mocking shout as the Losers yelped at just how huge It's grown. "Oh, did it work, Mikey? Did it work?" It taunted with a fit of cold laughter that had Charlie's hand sliding down Daxton's arm to grasp his hand as they tried to back away together out of fear. "Tell them why... Tell them why your silly little ritual didn't work! Tell them it's just... What's the word, Eds?" It peaked through one of the cracks with a single glowing yellow eye. "Gazebos?"

"Mike?" Eddie whispered in fear. "What's It talking about?"

Bill's legs were nearly shaking. He struggled to balance himself as he softly said, "M-M-Mikey?"

The way that Daxton learned that bombs were close underneath sand was to test the waters. To see the blinking light under the light grains and to sense the ticking explosion before it could go off. He's come close a couple of times. He's been on the ground, the sand burning his skin, his ears ringing, eyes wide in shock, and his burned skin splattered with blood. Daxton had been nineteen then. He's almost forty now, and yet, he still gets the same horrid feeling.

This wasn't right. Things weren't supposed to go this way -

"Oooh, Mikey, you never showed them the fourth side, did you?" It taunted with another fit of laughter as Its face slowly rose out of their view. "You didn't want them to know what happened to the poor Shokopiwah!" It cackled and smacked Its lips together. Daxton didn't want to think about what happened, but he knew. He knew what was going to happen to them too.

"Fuck, Mikey, you lied to us again?!" Bill shouted angrily.

If Daxton could hold onto hope, even the tiniest spark, it was gone now. He had to shut his eyes and allow the shadow of terror to take him away. How could Mike do this to them? To Stan? How could he betray them like this? They were going to die. Something that Daxton knew would come for him one day, but this isn't how he wanted to go.

"Not like this. Not like this," Daxton mumbled in a panic as he furiously shook his head. He didn't want to die like this. He wasn't ready.

"No - they, they didn't believe, they didn't believe that they could kill him! That's why it didn't work back then!" Mike desperately tried to defend himself.

Richie's head angrily snapped towards him, bellowing, "Are you fucking kidding me, Mike?! Fuck!"

"Fuck you, Mikey!"

With Bill's voice breaking at the unkind curse he spat, Charlie follows a second after in a fit of anger, "Jesus H. Christ, Mike, how could you do this to us?!" His dark brown eyes can be seen filled with betrayal and hurt over the lies his best friend told them.

They're no different than Mike's own who is desperate for the Losers to side with him as they notice It slide out of their view. "I - I needed something. Anything, anything for us to remember! Anything for us to believe!"

"FUCK!" Richie screamed and Daxton felt like doing the same but his throat was too dry from all of the sobs he had been holding back.

The spikes crumble to dust that free Pennywise from his prison as three spheres of a blinding, cyan light circle one another as they fly towards the neverending roof. Daxton's eye squints before he tries to shield them as Beverly warned them, "It's the deadlights! Don't look at them!"

Suddenly, it was hard to see the deadlights anyway, but Daxton kept his eyelids low just in case because he deeply feared what would happen next as Pennywise finally rose. It was monsterly huge, pointed claws with spider legs that quake the ground under their feet as it stomped towards them, muttering, "For twenty-seven years, I dreamt of you... I craved you..." Its voice boomed and bounced off the cave walls. Daxton started to stumble back in terror as It finished in horrifying glee, "Oh, I missed you!"

The Losers start to crash and bump into one another as they realize if they want to live another minute, they should probably start running from the massive and hungry clown. Mike was the only one who didn't move. Bill shouted for him to move, but his voice was small compared to Pennywise's. "Waiting for this very moment!" It crows.

They still yell for their friend whose shoes seem to have sunk into the concrete, and even though Daxton feels as if Mike stabbed him in the back, he can't lose another one. He was screaming for him to move as Mike softly apologized, "I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's time to float!" It released a roar as it reared Its arm enormous arm backward where one hand formed several tiny ones that wiggle before morphing into one long claw. Bill pushed himself off the stone wall and rammed into Mike's side to effectively knock him over just as It brought the claw down, piercing the ground into a shattered mess of tiny pebbles where Mike once stood.

Multiple hits start hitting the ground which grew closer and closer, so once again, Daxton ran to leave the shadow behind until his chest was burning with the lack of air. Charlie's panting heavily beside him as his friends and brother races away from the giant monster chasing them. It's a struggle to dodge each hit that It throws at them while covering their heads to avoid the debris falling from chunks of stones that had been hit by Its swaying arms. The path the Losers were taking had no choice but to be broken to protect themselves as they split up to avoid being splintered and murdered by the creature.

Daxton slid across the ground as he dropped to glide with one leg outstretched and fell to his side so he could roll over and crouch behind a tall shard of a structure to use it as a temporary hiding spot. He released a few gasping breaths of air to catch any bits of oxygen he can as he carefully peeked through one of the holes. Daxton saw a few of his friends still running, banning apart from the rest of the group, and taking off into tunnels that Pennywise tried to follow with one of Its multiple claws. Daxton was just out of view. He had to use whatever time he had left for survival.

The old Daxton would've run and hid, and if he had friends, he would have once let them die here. He could hardly remember the person that he was when he was a child, but he knew enough that the selfish, inconsiderate, and cold teenager was gone. Daxton was replaced by someone who would die for the others, someone who was there, begging to get out, but locked away because he was afraid of how bad it would hurt to love someone else. To love someone else enough that he would die for them.

Daxton's heart leaped into his throat when he felt something tight squeeze his right ankle. His head snapped towards the feeling and a gasp escaped at the sight of a zombified hand with twisted and green fingers gripping the limb. He released a terrified scream and the last thing he hears is Charlie shout his name before Daxton is dragged across the gravel. The shards scrape his skin and the tips of his fingers dig deep in an attempt to ground himself while kicking whatever It sent to take him away with his free leg, but it does nothing. Darkness soon filled Daxton's vision as he was pulled through a narrow tunnel that seemingly had no light at the end of it.

"Fucking let me go, you bitch!" Daxton's terrified shout bounced off the walls. It gave a final and forceful tug, and Daxton passed the rim of the tunnel.

He takes in the scene and another memory flashed in his mind.

"I don't know about this," Daxton confessed in a mutter. He's never thought about a fear of heights until now when he's facing it. The cliff seems even higher and the lake looks even farther. The boys who already dove, and Beverly, were small, although maybe they were having fun. Daxton only hates to admit he's frightened. He shook his head and wrung his hands together. "No, shit, fuck this - "

He expected Charlie to comfort him or Richie to make some shitty joke but it's Ben who speaks up. "It's okay to be afraid, Daxton." It's probably the first time he's spoken to Daxton directly and his voice is soft, genuine, even calming.

Daxton says nothing in reply, mostly because he doesn't want to say out loud that he's afraid, but Charlie nodded in agreement. "You don't have to do this alone. Wanna go together?"

One of the happiest memories Daxton remembered. And Pennywise had turned it into a nightmare.

The trees of the Quarry were curled with dead leaves that reminded Daxton of the ones outside of the Neibolt house. There's no sunlight keeping them alive. It isn't raining, but the sky is a dull gray, stormy clouds swirling darkly above him. At first, Daxton thought it was raining as his skin slid across the dirt, but there were no droplets pelting his skin. He realized when he kicked aside the hand and lifted his own that it was painted with blood instead.

"Oh, fuck, fuck you," Daxton spluttered and slipped as he tried to rise. He could hear waves slapping across the edge he was a bit too close to from below. He didn't remember rough waves at home, but this wasn't home. Pennywise had morphed a happy memory of Daxton's childhood into a twisted nightmare of an illusion to scare him with his fear of heights that was going to haunt him forever if he manages to survive this.

The ground below Daxton started to quake before splitting. He's more in a rush to stand, which only caused him to slide across the puddles of blood again. He suddenly froze an arm missing a hand had planted itself on the ground and yanked the top of its head above like some sort of fucked up plant. Daxton has to swallow vomit and turn his head, eyes shut, as soon as he recognizes the zombie-like creature that Pennywise had come up with.

Lucas's baby face was gone and replaced with a litter of bleeding scars, sickly green skin, and dead eyes with white pupils. His bones crack as his limbs twitch while he dragged himself out of the shallow grave. Losing Lucas was an addition to why Daxton started drinking, it wasn't a fear. Pennywise was dangling his fear of heights over his head, but that's where his fear ended. It was torturing Daxton with the man's grief for fun in some sick game.

"A drunk," Lucas spat. "A worthless... Fucking... Drunk..." Blood started to dribble from his lips. He cranked his neck and Daxton winced at the angle. Lucas started crawling towards him at a slow pace on all fours. He sneered, "Should've known, Daxton Shields, good for nothing - "

"Fuck you," Daxton shakily spat and finally managed to stand on two wobbly legs. He started to back away from the creature It formed and knew he was reaching the edge. "You think you scare me?! I've seen worse things than you!"

A twisted smirk fell on Lucas's sick lips. "I know," it uttered. That somehow made Daxton feel sicker. It knew? How much did It know?

Its voice grows darker and gutted. "You haven't stopped killing, have you? Because you like it. Your hands dripped in blood. We're all dead because of you." It snarled as Daxton felt the heel of his boot hit the edge. The ground beneath him shook so much that he feared it would send him over the edge, but that couldn't be Its plan. "Can you feel it, Daxton? Or are you next?"

Twenty-seven years and Daxton hasn't forgotten. It couldn't have been watching him all that time, but It had been reading his mind now. It was saying these things because It knew that fucker. Daxton would have stomped on the head if it wasn't a zombified form of Lucas. He doesn't think he could hurt any of his siblings even on a site like this. So Daxton did the last thing that Pennywise expected.

He left behind the shadow and he took the plunge.

It's been a long time since Daxton faced a height like this. The last thought that occurred to him was the wonder if Pennywise had purposely stretched the length of the fall and if this was a good idea at all but it was already too late. Daxton had given his dead brother one last look of sorrow before jumping towards the water below, any tricks that It had be damned.

The wind of falling blew past Daxton. He could feel his stomach fall as he took the plummet and gave a kick of his legs, arms above his head, facing his fear, and anticipating the inevitable. Daxton's soar through the air is shorter-lived than he thought. He reached the water seconds after his brave jump through the barrier of his fear. Honestly, Daxton didn't feel the water when he broke through it at first. It felt like ice dragging across his skin and his first instinct is to take a deep breath to shudder, but knowing better, he held it in his burning lungs.

Daxton started kicking his legs and swimming away from the cliff behind him. He didn't know where he was going. His heart was racing, his brain felt like it was going to explode out of his skull, and his lungs pulsed with the need to breathe, but he had to get the hell out before Pennywise came up with some river monster to drown him. Daxton has practiced both swimming and holding his breath while on tour so he wasn't worried about how long he could go without breathing or how long he could swim. He was more scared that some monster's teeth would sink into his leg and drag him down.

There's a light that Daxton saw peeking through the darkness. He can't understand if that's some fucked up metaphor, but taking a chance, he followed it. He knew he only had a minute or so before he would have to undoubtedly breathe again. Daxton gave a few more furious pumps of his legs and sluggish movements of his arms underwater before finally reaching the opening, and pushing himself through.

Air greeted Daxton that he gasped in greedily. He coughed and spluttered a few times until oxygen ran through his nostrils instead of water droplets. He was shocked to see that Bill was laying on his side, soaked and teary-eyed, having seemingly escaped from the same hole that Daxton was treading in.

"Dax?" The other man gasped.

Daxton momentarily blamed how brave he was for a moment on the adrenaline as he allowed his world to crash down for a second. He just watched Lucas zombie-like torture him. Pennywise taunted him with his dead brother.

That clown was so fucking dead.

"Bill, shit," Daxton cursed in a heavy sigh and swam towards the rim. He grasped the gravel and lifted himself out of the water, shivering at the water that clung to his soaked clothing, and crawling across the ground until he had rolled beside him. "Bill, have you seen Charlie?"

Before he could answer, It had made his appearance close by known when he stomped towards Mike, who had tried to sprint towards Daxton and Bill only to be cut off. Mike didn't make a move to run again. He bravely glared straight at the monster before him as if he was creating a challenge.

Daxton, who still felt betrayed but also cared immensely for one of his best friends, cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "Mike, get out of there!"

Mike didn't listen. Daxton isn't even sure if he heard him. He planted his feet and stared the Devil straight in the eyes with bravery Daxton admired. "I know what you are. That's why I'm not afraid," Mike declared.

It hadn't liked that. It snarled, wrapping Mike in one long arm that coiled him like a snake, instead the mouth was a blade that It pressed underneath Mike's chin. It cackled before retorting, "I know what you are." Its yellow eyes gleamed and Its voice lowered into a sneer. "A madman..."

Daxton's soaked sneakers scraped across the ground as he struggled to stand because that selfish teenager was gone. He's almost forty and he would die for any of his friends. Daxton heard Its jaw crack as it unhinged, pointed teeth grew closer to Mike in an attempt to consume him, when...

A small rock bounced off Its cheek.

Rock war.

Everyone's head snapped towards the direction it came from when it hit its target. Richie stood over a slope before the mouth of a tunnel with his shoulders squared and another rock already gripped in the hand that isn't clutching a flashlight. "Hey, fuckface!" Richie yelled and Pennywise flung aside Mike just as they had hoped.

Just as Mike painfully bounced off a slab of rock, landing safely away from It, Richie reeled the rock behind him. "You wanna play truth or dare? Here's a truth: you're a sloppy bitch!"

Its face glowered, but Daxton felt his heart soar. He couldn't possibly love Richie anymore.

"Yeah, that's right! Let's dance! Yippee-ki-yay, motherfu - !"

The rock and flashlight slipped from Richie's hands. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and his limbs fell completely slack along with his jaw that was stuck open. Its face had opened up and a red beam of light shone out of it. It had Richie locked in a daze from the deadlights.

Daxton isn't thinking when he pushed himself onto shaking knees and screamed at the top of his lungs, "RICHIE!"

A body slammed into Daxton from behind and grasped his shoulders. He would've been scared if It wasn't busy forcing Richie to levitate as the deadlights from above shot more power into the back of Its head and if he wasn't familiar with the touch. Charlie had slipped his hands to yank Daxton's arms back to keep him from sprinting towards the clown in a weak attempt to take It down with his bare hands.

"You can't save him," Daxton heard Charlie's strained whisper through the storm like he didn't want to believe his words himself. "You can't save everyone."

The world seemed to slow down. Blood is gushing from Richie's nostrils and Daxton knows for sure that one, Charlie is right, two, he doesn't fucking care, three, Richie's going to die, and four, he loves him so much that the world could end, and his greatest regret would be that he never got the chance to tell him.

A voice suddenly screamed, "BEEP BEEP, MOTHERFUCKER!" And a sharp weapon tore through the air, embedding in Pennywise's gaping mouth.

It released a pained cry and released Richie from the deadlights. Daxton could give less of a shit about the clown who looked as if It was spitting fire with various cries before toppling over, impaling itself on a jagged shard - Richie had already fallen below Eddie who excitedly exclaimed, "Holy shit!"

"Oh my God," Charlie breathed out. "Did he do it?"

Daxton could see with a strain of his neck how Eddie raced to check on Richie who was starting to stir. Pennywise was struggling against the fragment Its torso was stuck on, groaning in pain while blood floated above Its ruby lips. It could hardly move and it looked like Its fight was growing weaker. Daxton sighed and released the guard he put up like a wall, slumping against his brother's side in exhaustion.

It was over. It had to be -

"I think I killed It!" Eddie called and shook Richie's shoulders. He was so loud, so eager that Daxton could hear him from his spot. "I did! I think I killed It for real - !"

One of Pennywise's arms flailed through the air.

It's too fast for anyone to warn Eddie, but they see it happen. They hear the awful squelch when the claw pierces Eddie's abdomen, blood splattering everything around him as his body jolts.

Beverly screamed from somewhere close.

Bill released a pained wail.

The world slowed, then went deaf.

Daxton stopped fighting Charlie but his brother still clutched him tighter as agony washed over the both of them as if they were the ones hit. It's like they're nearly falling with a ring in their ears because were they hit instead? Because Daxton's legs weren't working. He can't stand. He can't move and he can't hear.

He doesn't think he's breathing because there's a lodging pain behind his ribs. Daxton's pain has spread through his body and was controlling him now.

It dragged Eddie's weak body away from Richie. He hung in the air, swinging like a limp doll, as Pennywise laughed out loud, "UH-OH!"

Blood came alive and started pumping through Daxton's veins. He doesn't know if it's purely hot wrath or the painful agony of sorrow. He wants to rip the clown apart before his pounding heart tears through his own skin. But Daxton, the God damn soldier, is locked in place. Moving isn't possible.

Neither was saving his friends.

You can't save everyone.

One last throw and Eddie is lodged off the pointed claw and sent into the unforgiving darkness, swallowed whole by a tunnel. The Losers finally found it in them to move, but it was not quick enough. Pennywise's limbs started to flail and try to catch one of them since It couldn't stand on Its own.

"Watch out!" One of the Losers Daxton can't pinpoint cried.

He hears a whip tearing through the air and barely sees the long arm coming at him before feeling a violent blow to the chest. Daxton can't tell if it was real or not. He doesn't know which of them are actually flying from the hit. Suddenly, another scream of sorrow or fear rips through Daxton's throat, and he doesn't stop until there's a deathly thunk from hitting the stone wall.

━━━━━━━━

author's note:

oops

forgive me

- koda ❤️

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