Morning came back quicker than Kuroo expected. There were bags under his eyes - he didn't sleep at all.

He wanted to, but he couldn't.

Kuroo crawled out of his bed and went to take a cold shower. As the icy water ran across his skin he shivered, feeling a weird sense of pleasure from it.

After taking a shower he went to his room and picked out his favorite outfit. Black skinny jeans, dark blue button-up shirt and a blazer. Why so nice?

Because he was going to confess.

He spent the whole night thinking of what he was going to say, thinking of all possible reactions from Kenma, from him being disgusted to him jumping into Kuroo's arms.

He didn't like planning, but he couldn't help himself.

This day was way too important.

He walked downstairs and greeted his parents, hiding the fact that he is going to confess from them. Instead he said that he was going to go to a concert with a friend.

He looked at the food on the table, somehow it didn't seem too appealing and Kuroo decided on skipping breakfast once again.

He walked out the house and looked around, Kenma was nowhere to be seen. Good.

Kuroo decided to clean his mind and cool his head before he confessed. He needed to be prepared for everything.

He decided to stop by the library first. He walked in and was astonished by the massive collection of old books. He would have taken a Sherlock Holmes one, but he saw someone kissing. A tall boy with blond hair and someone else. A weird thing to do in a library, anybody can catch them.

And so Kuroo left the library.

Maybe going to the park would help.

He sat down on a bench and relaxed for a few minutes, re-thinking everything.

He couldn't help, but notice a couple of guys at the park. One was a complete beauty, even Kuroo had to agree with it. Though, he could barely act on his own which led to Kuroo's conclusion - he's blind.

All these couples around him drove  him crazy, so he finally stood up and walked back home, to his surprise Kenma was next to his house.

"Kenma!" Kuroo shouted and ran towards Kenma.

Oh, how amazing he looked. His hair was put up in a tiny ponytail, he had his sneakers on and it was clear that he had been running.

"Why didn't you invite me for a run?" Kuroo pouted.

"I wanted to... But you didn't answer when I threw pebbles at your window.." Kenma said, he had stopped making big pauses inbetween words.

"Awh, well you can always come in and wait" Kuroo smiled at the younger boy.

Kenma smiled back at Kuroo and took his hand. For once, Kenma's hands were warm.

Now that Kuroo could see better, his face regained it's form, his cheekbones weren't as visible, his collarbones too.

"You... You look so much healthier" Kuroo said, he felt proud.

"Yeah. I wanted to look good for you I guess" Kenma said and looked straight into Kuroo's eyes.

Unlike the first time, they weren't empty, they were full of warmth and hope, full of happiness and love.

Maybe now was the time.

"Kenma.. Listen me out, okay? I know we haven't been friends for that long, but you're the first one to make me feel like this. Since the day I saw you - I knew you were special. Maybe it was the way you spoke or the weird aura radiating from you.. I don't know in all honesty, but ever since we got closer I felt more free. Yes, I may not be completely sane, I may suffer from insomnia sometimes, I might see things that don't exist, but you're the one who is healing me. Kenma, I fell in love with you. I fell for you so hard that I can't even imagine myself without you.." Kuroo confessed.

He watched as Kenma took a step back.

No.

He watched as Kenma's lip trembled.

No.

"Kuroo... I can't.. We can't!" Kenma exclaimed, tears started spilling his eyes.

No!

"K-Kenma, you can't just lead me on and then tell me this! Why? Why can't we be together?!" Kuroo yelled, his heart shattering into a million pieces.

"Kuroo, please, you won't like it, you will hate it!" Kenma cried.

Please, no!

"Kenma, please, don't leave me! Don't leave me alone!" Kuroo screamed, he fell on his knees and clutched his heart.

He heard the voices of his parents getting closer and closer.

"Tetsurou!" His mother shouted and ran to her son, hugging him tightly.

Kuroo kept shaking, tears kept falling.

"Yamato, I told you it won't help!" his mother told his father.

"I thought it would. The therapist said that it should!" he said and kneeled down next to Kuroo aswell.

"Mom... Dad.. What is going on? Why did Kenma leave me? He lives next to us, it will hurt me to see him.. " Kuroo cried.

"Kuroo.... Please.. Please look at the ground next to us.. You're.....you're imagining things" his mother spoke softly.

Kuroo's eyes shot open and filled with tears once again.

There was no house next to his, no balcony next to his window. It was an empty dirty ground with the remains of the house that burned down.

"Mom.. What is happening to me...?" Kuroo asked, his voice trembling.

"Can't you remember? You went mad after Yaku died..."

Chimerical

[ki-mer-i-kuh l]

adjective

unreal; imaginary; visionary:

Antonyms

1. real.

.

.

.

.

~~
I now realize the true power of angst.

-hatari.