𝖛𝖎𝖎. Fleeting Pain
◤ 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓: ❛ fleeting pain ❜ ◢
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EVEN THOUGH HER HEART WAS HEAVY WITH THE GUILT OF THE FRUITLESSNESS OF ELIJAH'S COURTSHIP, SHE STILL TOOK HIM ON AS A FRIEND. Though her heart ached for him and wept for the day when she would eventually leave him, neither gaining from the relationship what they truly wanted, she still could not stand to say goodbye to him while she was still in London. It would be easier in the long run, when there would come a day when she would never see his face again, but she always choked up whenever she tried to tell him off forever.
They had not known each other long, but it seemed he had captured her heart and was not letting go without a fight – one that Marisol could not find it in her herself to win. She too didn't want him to let go and leave her, so she let him have it even though her heart would bleed when the day came to leave. She had believed for a long time that she could stay in London forever with Magnus, raising him and giving him the life this place offered until she watched him marry and leave her all alone. She had believed that this was where she would wither and grow old, but Elijah changed everything.
Because she could not stay when Elijah saw Magnus, when he believed her impure and used, carrying a child out of wedlock and keeping him by her side, raising him as if he meant more than a bastard – but Magnus did. Her darling Magnus, her nephew she would give her life over, did mean more than anything others said about them and about her, because he was her family, her blood, and her last connection to her past.
He was alive and he would be free. Not locked in a marriage with someone he barely knew, not chained to the structure of a village with ancestors, he would be free and Marisol would support him forever. She would guide him towards the light so that he may never stray to where she had gone.
Her was her darling more than Elijah was her love. Elijah may hold her heart, but her heart was Magnus ever since the day she had delivered him from Ophelia. Magnus was her heart and her soul, her entire reason for living, he gave her more than love, so she would choose him forever.
Elijah was temporary, Magnus was forever.
Still, she could not stray from the Mikaelson man. He still held her heart, after all, and had no intentions of giving it back. So he accompanied her to the market and helped her with her groceries and tried to persuade her into another necklace or earing which she would have to scold him about even though her heart sung for one more piece of fine jewelry.
"I hope that Niklaus' story did not scare you the other day," Elijah told her as they walked together, "I don't think that was his intention."
"I liked the story. Well, most of it at least," Marisol said in return, "It was fun and fantasy-filled."
"Yes, fantasies. Niklaus seems to get carried away in those quite a lot," Elijah sighed, though it mostly sounded like he was speaking to himself and not her so she didn't respond until he cleared his throat and returned to the ground, "So, you don't believe in them? Vampires, I mean?"
She did. Of course, she had to. While, thankfully, she had never encountered another vampire and did not have to fight them, every witch or werewolf knew of their existence and their self-implanted authority, thinking themselves better than anyone else and only thinking of wolves as pests and witches as tools.
"No," she lied, "My mother would scare me with them, but they're not real. Only creatures of fantasy – like witches or werewolves."
"Of course," Elijah nodded, accepting her answer easily, "But, hypothetically, if they did exist, what would you think of them?"
Marisol pondered the question. It was strange to ask of him, she would admit that, but maybe he and Niklaus spent too much time in those old books and were simply fascinated by the creatures. "I think I would wish never to encounter one," she told him after a moment, truthfully speaking because of the hatred between vampires and her own kind.
Elijah nodded again slowly and nodded away from her. She didn't think much of it and continued on the path they walked. "Yes, well, I'm glad you enjoyed the story then," he smiled at her, "And I also have to apologize for the inappropriate behavior of my siblings, asking about our...relationship."
"Right," Marisol nodded, swallowing before looking at him, "Look, Elijah, I hope you don't take offense to me and my, well, hesitance toward something more than a friendship."
"I understand and I've never asked for more, Marisol, I never would. My family seemingly has not mastered the concept of friendships," Elijah joked.
She let out a breath of laughter. "Yes, but I hope I do not offend you by saying that I don't want a courtship or any serious relationship."
Elijah nodded, his eyes straying for a moment before finding hers again. More guilt pooled inside her. "Marisol, I will be truthful in saying that I want to court you, everyone can see, but if you do not want that, I see no reason as to why we cannot still be friends."
"Right," she let out a breath of relief, "I-I want that. That would be very nice, actually."
"Then it's settled," Elijah smiled at her, "No courtship, just friends."
"Friends," Marisol nodded. For some reason, at the agreement to be just friends and nothing more, which was what she wanted, saddened her. The concreteness of their relationship, the no possibility of being somewhere more...she hated it even though it was what she wanted.
Elijah looked her up and down, as if inspecting her, looking into her eyes almost knowingly – maybe he could see her sadness for their only friendship relation.
She cleared her throat and looked away from him. "Anyway, I saw no invitation for a party this Friday?"
"Yes, my family and I are going out of town. Business to take care of on Friday and we'll be gone all weekend," Elijah explained to her.
She tried not to feel disappointed, after all she could understand the need to work; she did it constantly. But this was the first time he had to leave town in order to work and seemed not willing to divulge any details. His work had never come up even though he knew exactly the kind of work she endured as a maid day to day and she did not want to disrupt anything, so she did not ask.
"I hope you business ventures go well, but it's very sad that you won't be having your usual party. I look forward to them every week," Marisol said carefully, thinking of her getaways; the little good things she can get for just a few hours each week in a nice gown with a nice man dancing with her.
In those moments, when she could pretend they belonged together, and that nothing was going to tear them apart.
Elijah smiled at her, proud of himself for orchestrating parties which she enjoyed. "Well, there will be one next week, which will be even better than any this week could have."
"Good," she nodded, "I'm looking forward to it."
"Though I am certain that Rebekah will intervene and waste your time now that she's met you and loves you," Elijah told her, a light tone in his words and a look of fondness.
Marisol laughed. "Well, Rebekah's lovely so I don't see that as a problem," but her heart contradicted her words. Rebekah did seem so lovely at the dinner, but the balls were her time with Elijah with no time limit like their Saturday market time, her time to pretend she was a princess and Elijah her prince. She was already being robbed of it this week, she couldn't take it again.
"She'll be happy to hear that," Elijah told her as they arrived to her building.
"Well, thank you for your company, I'll see you again soon," Marisol told him honestly, never allowing him to the enter building so that he might discover her beloved Magnus. She couldn't bear what his words would be in response and the slamming shut door of their relationship.
"I like spending time with you," Elijah told her easily, charming her even more, "Until next time."
He looked at her one last time, as if capturing her face to remember forever, before walking away, leaving her to watch him and catch her breath. She eventually blinked, swallowed, and walked into the building, going into her home and placing down her bag full of ingredients.
She heard a cry from Magnus and sighed to herself, resigning to check up on him rather than to chase after Elijah which her mind thought about for a second. To go and take back her words and accept him as her love and concrete that relationship instead of a relationship.
But Magnus came before Elijah, the promise she made to her sister came before Magnus, so she went into his room, lit a candle, and cooed at him, bringing him into her arms and holding him to her chest for a second. She closed her eyes as he calmed, humming a tune to help sooth him.
This was her life; to protect and choose Magnus over anyone else. Over her own desires, over her wishes, over anything she could ever dream because Magnus had no one but her and nowhere to go except with her. She had promised Ophelia she would do everything in her power to protect him and be his pseudo-mother and raise him as she would raise her own child.
Magnus was her life; Elijah was just apart of it.
So she resigned herself to letting Elijah go, resigned herself to knowing she had to leave soon, and resigned herself to stay without a flame of love in her heart forever as Elijah held it broken in his hand. This pain was fleeting; her blood and family was forever.
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