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( nineteen. new wounds )

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"I thought I told you not to do anything stupid?"

"You said don't do something that you would do."

"And definitely something that I wouldn't do."

Natasha sighed, straightening her uniform. "It would only be just for a few days. You have the watch ready right?"

Tony nodded, revealing his hand to show her the now glowing watch due to the stone planted in the center. "Piece of cake."

She curled her fingers around his hand. "Don't let anyone see it." She hissed. He shoved the thing back into his pocket. "You'll be alright while I'm away?"

"Would it matter if I say no?"

She smiled wryly. "No, not really."

Tony eyed her flatly. "Then I guess I have no choice but to say I'll be. You better come back, Natalie."

"Of course, can't have you going back to the future all by your miserable self now, right?"

Once she and Tony said their (temporary) goodbyes, he went back to his apartment while she made sure to drop by a visit to the other Stark. They talked and shared the same things that she had with Tony earlier, only he was brave enough to tease her about not leaving so much of a hug when she was practically walking straight to her death sentence.

Then she taught him wrong when she did go on and hugged him. Then and there.

Howard stiffened, clearly taken off by shock. "Woah," His tone held a mix of amusement yet worry. "You're not really planning to go get your death sentence out there, are you?"

Natasha rolled her eyes, pulling back as quickly as she had started it. "Of course not. It's the reason why I did it. Just wanted to prove you wrong." She smirked slyly, "Again."

She was also planning to say a few words of farewell to Peggy but was a tad baffled when she couldn't find her anywhere. Figuring the team must already be waiting for her out on the field, she did not need to waste any more time. She'll be back to give her a proper goodbye later on, anyway.

She was wearing her new uniform. By the time she made it outside, their plane was already there. Some of their team were already ascending up the lift and settling inside. She could already see Bucky at the foot of the plane but there was no sign of Steve.

Bucky sent her a teasing grin. "Good day, Agent. Your flight is now onboarding and you are free to—"

"Shut up, Barnes." She tried to glare but only end up smiling like an idiot instead. She glanced at the empty spot next to him. "Where's Steve?"

"Right here!"

She whipped her head around at the sound of the voice and saw Steve running towards them. He was a little short out of breath and almost made her wonder why on earth did he look like he ran a couple miles around the base.

Bucky noticed it too. "Where were you? And why are you panting like a goddamn dog?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Got caught up in something."

It was her who asked this time. "Something?"

He didn't answer. A crimson red color just started spreading from his cheeks down to his neck while he avoided their gazes. She furrowed her eyebrows, not understanding what the hell he was becoming so flustered about. Did something happen?

"Something." He only repeated, making a move to finally get on the plane like he was purposely avoiding the conversation. "It's time. Come on."

She and Bucky shared a knowing glance when he just shrugged and followed what their captain told them to do. She was kind of astonished to find out that they were taking a plane to the HYDRA bases (because she was prepared to walk by foot or drive in a couple trucks to get there) and asked who'd be their pilot.

She was surprised to find out that Steve could. Fortunately, Howard gave him a few basic tips about it. They were also given another transponder but she thinks it's totally unnecessary when she's sure it was going to end up burnt, crushed or broken either way.

Once they were steady on the air, Dugan started turning on his video camera and just recording the whole thing.

She panicked, swearing to Tony that not one document of her would come out to the public and she was keen on keeping her word. "What are you doing?" she asked.

Dugan casually shrugged. "Documenting."

"For what?"

"For files, silly. Colonel Phillips is demanding footages of our missions."

That makes sense. Since technology in 1943 is as ancient as it could be, this was the easiest way to give them an update of what they were doing. But still, she couldn't take the risk of being seen.

"Just try to get it out of my way." She said, trying to avoid the camera when it was pointing at her.

"Why?" Dugan asked, perplexed. "Don't you want to get seen in this? You're actually the first agent and woman who went on an official mission with a highly-classified team!" She almost rolled her eyes at the mention of 'highly-classified'. "Come on, surely you want the people to know your sacrifices. Your worth."

Although it sounded convincing, nothing was going to change her mind about this. She already disregarded too many rules. The least she could do is follow this one. "No, thanks. The fame isn't really what I'm after." She said.

Thankfully, he didn't seem to press on. "Suit yourself."

"And it's not what I came for."

Bucky suddenly walked into the room, draping an arm around her shoulders. "Of course, Anne, what else could you possibly came for, huh?" He leaned in a little to make his voice lower but audible enough Dugan to hear. "I'm guessing something involving the legendary Captain America, ey?"

Natasha visibly reddened, shoving his arm away from her as she shot him a glare. "Stop saying shit, James."

He only laughed. "Come on, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only who knows about your crush on Steve."

The way he said it made her look like a someone with a silly schoolgirl crush. "I do not have a crush on him."

Dugan stepped in to smile teasingly, focusing the camera on them again. "No offense, Agent Klein, but being in denial is kind of a sloppy trait."

Her mouth hung open in horror. "Was that still reeling the whole time?" Before he could even answer, she was already crossing the floor to snatch the camera from his hands. "Delete that. Delete that or I'll smother that thing to pieces! Dugan!"

Dugan was smart enough to follow her orders and delete the footage, much to Bucky's dismay. Not wanting to go through that again, he focused the camera on the other soldiers' instead seated by the cargo area.

Natasha then noticed that Steve wasn't joining them. She glanced around to find him sitting on the pilot's seat up front, which was unnecessary since they were already stable on the air. He was eerily quiet.

She walked until she stood behind him. "Steve?" She laid a hand on his shoulder. His head quickly snapped to meet her gaze. "Hey,"

He smiled but it looked strained. "Hey,"

Her expression shifted to concern. "You alright?"

"Yeah," It was his automatic response to that kind of question every time. "Just got the jitters, I guess."

She smiled lightly, remembering the exact thing he said before going through that super soldier procedure. Thinking about it now made her realize how far he's come. And how far she's been by his side to witness all this until now.

She looked down at the uniform he was wearing. She hadn't noticed it earlier because he was wearing a jacket but now it was off, she could see his suit up close. "Nice get up." She said. It was similar to the suit he wore back in their time, only this was a tad lighter in colors.

Steve instinctively followed her gaze and looked down at his suit. "Oh, I had Howard made it for me."

"Really suits the whole Captain America title." She gave him a lopsided grin. "Though much better than your first one."

He grimaced when he remembered his first costume as a Captain America chorus girl. It was definitely a laughing stock. This one, however, it wasn't a costume designed for an actor or a dancing monkey. It was designed for a soldier. A fighter. A captain.

"I take it you like it?" he smirked.

"Well, it does bring out your eyes more."

Steve blushed. "Thanks?"

She rolled her eyes, an amused smile creeping up on her face as she took the seat of the co-pilot. "You're such a dork, do you know that? No wonder you're the sinister of all female eyes everywhere we go."

He let out a sound that was between a scoff and a laugh. "I doubt being a dork is an attractive quality. Can't even talk to women without turning into a stuttering mess."

"Chicks dig dorks." She defended, smiling coyly. "Besides, being a handsome dork is better than a man who has their ego the size of the United States itself."

Despite blushing, he managed to spare her a sideways glance and a devious smirk, "You think I'm handsome?"

Uh, duh? "Are you seriously asking me that question, Cap?" She stared at him in disbelief, not at all ashamed to say this straight to his face. "Don't pretend you don't see what we see. You know you're a knockout."

The blush on his face became more prominent. "You always have your way with words you know that?"

She shrugged, smiling. "I try."

He chuckled. But then the smile on his face dropped afterward and he was staring at his fingers as he twiddled his thumbs. She knew that he only did it when something was on his mind. Something that's bothering him for too long.

"You're not okay." She deduced.

He looked at her. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Her eyes drifted down to his shaking fingers. "I'm gonna find out anyway so better tell me now what it is."

She heard him sigh in defeat. There was great hesitance on his face. She waited patiently as he started to open his mouth but close it afterwards. He breathed heavily, his eyes swarming in emotions that he was struggling to get a grip of. She could see him gripping the controls of the plane tighter. "I..."

She could've said something to urge him to go on but she stayed silent.

Finally, his grip lessened and he took one deep breath.

"Peggy kissed me."

His voice was so soft. It was barely above a whisper that if she hadn't been paying close attention she would've missed what he said. She stared at him for a moment, feeling her heart shuddered and stomach twisted in knots as the realization crawled up her spine.

Peggy kissed me.

"What?" She heard it but she couldn't find it in herself to say anything else.

He wouldn't look at her. Just kept his blue eyes trained on the sight in front of them. "Before we left, that's why I was late. S-She..." He stumbled over his words, "She kissed me."

Natasha could hear the sound of her heart breaking to pieces, the sound of hope being stripped away from her but she refused to let go. She told herself to hang on. "Did you kiss her back?" she asked in a tone that he was afraid to answer.

Finally, he looked at her. He was torn, and she could see it. There was guilt but there was no remorse. "Yes." He whispered.

And that was it.

The only answer she needed to hear.

She could feel her eyes stung with the tears pathetically trying to slip down on her cheeks. Her mouth went limp as she swallowed dryly. "I see." She averted her gaze, repeating over and over in her head that she couldn't do this in front of him. She couldn't break down in front of him. No.

But she felt like a bunch of knives was cutting her heart open and almost did. Almost betrayed her own self because of these stupid emotions conquering her own pride. Her own mind.

Steve immediately noticed the way her eyes started to glisten with silent tears. The way she curled her fists and trembled in her own lap. The way she turned away from him to put up a mask and hide away the fact that she was hurting.

She was hurting.

And it was because of him.

His face fell and tried to explain. "Anne—"

But he was stupid enough to believe that she'd actually give him a chance to. He didn't know why he told her. It was stupid because they didn't have something or anything even, but he didn't know why he felt like she needed to know that.

"I'm going to check out extra ammo in the back." She said.

"Anne, wait—" He reached out for her only for her to scoot away. His heart clenched.

"I just need to—excuse me."

She shot up from her seat and went to brush past him without so much of a glance back. She ignored the looks she was receiving from the men (Bucky, especially) when she passed by them to get behind the cargo area. She hid behind the array of weapons and tried to get a hold of herself.

But she couldn't.

She was gripping the edges of the shelves tightly while she hung her head low and let the tears fall freely on her face.

She sobbed quietly.

But the tears stinging her cheeks along with the cracking sound of her heart was probably the most deafening thing that Natasha would even want to hear again.

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Their first mission went by smoothly. And by smoothly, you would want to mean a success. They had ambushed the first HYDRA base without even getting themselves in thorough damage, save it for the little cuts and bruises on their arms and legs, but other than that, they were all completely fine.

Fine as they could be, perhaps.

It didn't take long for Bucky to notice that Steve and Natasha weren't on speaking terms. Again. Whenever he was giving out their orders as their captain, he wasn't able to give his orders to the agent directly. All the time, he would be addressing her with someone else and was purposely avoiding talking with her unless it's completely necessary.

Natasha wasn't any different from him. In fact, she was worse. Only answering with nods and curt answers to their captain's orders. And every time she spoke to him, there was always a lace of coldness. Her striking green eyes were narrowing at Steve's in the subtle way possible. It was a sharp look. Distant. Bitter. Troubled.

And if this continues, it might affect their working relationship too. As well as the whole team's. Bucky needed to know what happened between them. For the hundredth time.

While they set up to rest for the night, he followed Natasha back to the plane when she went to grab ammo to load her set of pistols for tomorrow.

He tried to come up to her as quietly as possible but to his dismay, she was already two steps ahead of him. "What are you doing, James?" she asked without looking behind.

His wide grin immediately turned into a frown. "Dammit. How'd you know it was me?"

"Your feet aren't as quiet as you think."

"That's a shame to know."

"Now that I know you're here, mind telling me the reason why?" She said, grabbing a pair of ammo and began prepping her pistols.

Bucky leaned against one of the shelves and crossed his arms over his chest. He studied her for a moment, anticipating what her reaction would be. "Did something happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

"Obviously I don't."

He rolled her eyes. Fine. He'll drop it like a bomb. "What's up with you and Steve?"

He could see her tense up. Her fingers momentarily stopped what it was doing as she looked over her shoulder to meet his gaze. Her lips were pressed into a thin line. "You always notice it too soon you know that?"

His lips curled into a coy smirk. "I know how my friends are." She scoffed at him, turning back to finish what she was doing. "So, what happened this time?"

This time. Because it seems that they were always arguing, aren't they? She returned the ammo back to their boxes and secured her guns to her hip. She turned around to lean against the wall.

"Did you know he kiss her?"

He looked confused. "Who?"

"He kissed her." She repeated sternly like he was supposed to take a hint already.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "You mean Steve?"

"Of course, idiot, who else?"

He raised his hands up in surrender. "Hey, I'm just clearing it out." She sighed exasperatedly. "Is this about Agent Carter? Because if it is, then yes, I know."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "If you already knew then why'd you even ask me in the first place?"

"I thought it was another reason. Don't blame me, you two fight more often than an actual couple. Not my fault I assumed."

"He just told me without any hint or something. I mean, come on, what kind of man just tells you he made out with someone? He just laid it out on me like it was no big deal."

"He kissed someone. Not made out." He corrected. "And I think you're forgetting that this man we're talking about is Steve."

She snorted in disbelief. "Kiss or make out... same thing."

"No, it's not. Making out involves tongues—"

"That's not the point!" She exclaimed in frustration. "Is he that too much oblivious? I mean, he's such a goddamn idiot! I can't see his point of telling me that he went on and kiss Peggy Carter. Why would he do that? To see if I care? To see if I'll praise him or something? I don't get it. Any of it. And he stares at me with those stupid blue eyes of his like he's expecting to gauge a reaction from me."

Once she was done rambling on, she had observed that Bucky went silent. She glanced up at him and saw that he suddenly found the floor interesting to look at.

Something clicked.

She stared at him in horror. "You didn't..."

"What?" he asked dumbly.

Horror then turned into fury. "You didn't, Barnes. Tell me you didn't."

"I..." The words died down in his mouth and he could only give her a grimacing look. "It's not what you think."

"You told him?" She fumed, taking a few strides to grab the front of his shirts. His mortified look only confirmed it even more. "Why the fuck would you do that?

"Listen, listen! I didn't exactly tell him. I just hinted enough to get his brain thinking and realizing it." He defended.

Natasha was obviously not getting it. Her eyes burned with anger while her fingers curled around the fabric tighter. "What the actual fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Jeez, woman. Your language."

She was not amused. "I swear to God Barnes if Steve thinks I'm the kind of slut that's desperate and all over him—"

"What? No!" He interjected sharply, eyebrows furrowing. "Why the hell would you think that? Of course Steve doesn't see you that way. He never sees you as that."

"Well, thanks to you he probably will."

"I didn't tell him, alright?"

"Bullshit."

He narrowed his eyes. "It's true. I really didn't. Would you—would you let me go so I could explain the whole thing?"

Reluctantly, she did. She stepped back and few and tilted her head as if to urge him to go on.

"Remember when we got back from our first mission and Steve flirted with her? The first time you got jealous? The first time you gave him the cold shoulder?" His repeated phrases of 'the first time' made her a little embarrassed that this happened more often.

"Yes, what about it?" she grumbled.

"And you decided not to talk to him for days. It bothered him to no good, of course. Until finally he couldn't take it and decided to come ask me if I know something. Maybe something he did at least to make you treat him that way."

"And that's when you told him." She said flatly.

Bucky shook his head. "That's when I gave him a push and opened his mind to the possibility that he might have feelings for you too."

Huh? "What?"

"I mean I kind of dropped some hints that you may be acting this way because you got jealous. I didn't specify of who and why, but it was enough to let him think if it was possible that you like him. Course, he didn't want to assume it and shot down the idea. Said I was being ridiculous as always but it got him to think at least. And he's probably still thinking about it now."

"He's probably convinced about it already is what's more likely." she returned flatly.

"With Steve, we can never be too sure. He may be Captain America out there on the field but when it comes to women? He's still that clueless kid from Brooklyn."

"But if he already has a hint then why not just ask me?"

He arched an eyebrow, doubting, "If he did then would you answer him?" She opened her mouth to speak. "Honestly?" he added.

That shut her up.

A smug look appeared on his face. "Exactly." He said, observing her defeated look. "Don't think about it so much. If something's meant to happen between you then it's going to happen. Let fate and time handle this on their own."

He had no idea how ironic that sounded to Natasha's ears.

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