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( fourteen. unwanted feelings )

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"Do you know the consequences that await the both of us if the senator finds out about this?"

"Yes, sir. But—"

"And do you know how difficult is the situation you've put me through?"

Peggy bit down on her tongue to suppress the bitter remark rising on the back of her throat.

She really was in trouble. And being 'pissed off' was an understatement to describe the colonel as soon as they arrived and found out that Steve was gone. Apparently, the senator threw a fit when they had to cancel one of Captain America's shows because the Captain himself wasn't present.

Colonel Phillips was got a hell of a lecture.

And he was now passing this earful lecture to her.

He walked over to the typewriter and pulled out a piece of paper. With both hands, he tore it in between. "That just describes how safe are you in keeping your ranking, Agent Carter."

She kept her lips tight, exhaling in a furious breath.

"I can't touch Stark. He's rich and he's the army's number one weapons contractor. You are neither one!"

"With respect sir, I don't regret my actions. And I don't think Captain Rogers and Agent Klein did either."

"You know, when I brought in my decision to promote her I didn't know she was going to be this goddamn infuriating. She's more trouble than the rest of our men combined. But now I guess I won't even get a chance to throw her out when we're all going to be."

"She did what she thought what's right. And that is to help the Captain."

"Of course, because Rogers had to drag in his little girlfriend in here, doesn't he?" Phillips snarled.

Peggy tensed up, quickly disapproving off the idea as soon as it was out. "She's not his girlfriend, Colonel."

"Jesus."

"Did I say something wrong, sir?"

"If I hadn't known you well enough, Agent Carter, I'd like to think that you're showing the most childish act an agent could possibly show."

"And what is that?"

"Jealousy."

Peggy narrowed her eyes. She scoffed, refusing to believe such an accusation. "With all due respect, Colonel Philips, I am not jealous."

"Whatever."

Keeping the idea out of her head, she still tried to change his mind. "Colonel, I think they made a good decision of going after the soldiers—"

"What makes you think I give a damn about your opinions?" He interjected, sharply. "I took a chance with you, Agent Carter. And now America's golden boy and a lot of other good men are dead... because you had a crush."

"It wasn't that. I had faith."

"Well, I hope that's a big comfort to you when they shut this division down."

She rolled her eyes in irritation.

Then something happened. A noise ensued outside. She peeked over the tent and saw numerous soldiers running around and shouting in joy.

"What the hell's going on out there?" Phillips asked.

Numerous voices were heard but she was able to decipher one message.

"Look who rose from the dead!"

Only one thought came to her mind.

Quickly, she raced outside and made her way through the crowd of soldiers. The sight that greeted her almost made her want to cry in relief.

Steve was there, Natasha just closely behind him.

The moment she saw everyone's face lit up with pure joy by the time they arrived, she couldn't help but grin in happiness too. It was rewarding to know that she helped bring these soldiers back here. Back home.

They stopped to a halt. The soldiers crowding around them.

Then Peggy and Colonel Phillips came forward. She was breathing heavily, grinning widely, and couldn't utter a word at all.

At the sight of the colonel, Steve immediately saluted him. She didn't know if she was supposed to be doing it too but it felt completely out of her system so she didn't dare try. To hell with it.

"Some of this men, and women," She couldn't help but smile at that. "Need medical attention. I'd like to surrender myself for disciplinary action."

Phillips then looked over at her. Her smile quickly fell.

She cleared her throat, figuring to just go with it. "I, as well."

He looked hesitant. Then— "That won't be necessary."

Natasha could no longer hide the triumphant smirk crawling its way to her lips. Oh, how much was it goddamn satisfying to see Phillips eat up his shitty words.

Only Steve had the respect to address him. "Yes, sir."

Then he left, muttering something to Peggy before leaving them be. Then she came forward, stopping just a foot from where Steve was.

She glanced over at her, smiling, "I'm glad to see you in one piece."

"I'm glad to be back in one piece too, Agent Carter."

"But you still had us worrying." And just like that, her attention drifted back to Steve. Her eyes focused on him. Only him. Seeing nothing else around her. "You're late."

Steve reached something from his pocket, pulling out their broken transponder. The corner of his lips twitched upwards. "Couldn't call our ride."

What the?

Did Steve just flirt?

She blinked her eyes apprehensively, trying to think that maybe she was just seeing things. But no. She wasn't. Steve and Peggy were right in front of her. Gazing right into each other's eyes. Smiling at one another.

Like they were the only fucking people in the world.

And she knew better than to watch this.

She turned away, not being able to handle the clenching pain in her chest. The way her stomach dropped as soon as she had just witnessed that.

God, what was wrong with her?

She should be happy. Out of all the things she was changing right now, she should be happy that this at least was still going on the right track. She should be happy seeing Steve that happy.

But no. It feels the exact opposite.

She was hurting. So much.

Then she felt someone nudge her forward. "Just say something, Anne." It was Bucky.

She rolled her eyes. "What do you want, now?"

"I think someone's jelly."

Natasha narrowed her eyes. "I am not jealous."

"I didn't say it was you."

She turned around to see him giving her a look of amusement. A triumphant grin was etched on his face. She shut her eyes, cursing inwardly. Goddammit. "I am extremely tempted to wipe that shitty grin from your face."

He feigned hurt. "Ouch." He looked over at where Steve and Peggy is. "I can see why Steve digs her, though. She's a beauty."

Natasha clenched her fists. She took a deep breath to keep her emotions in check. She didn't know why she was acting like this.

Besides, she couldn't possibly be... jealous. Right? It was too childish. Too ridiculous.

Bucky noticed her discomfort. "You okay, Anne?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

She needed to get out of here. "I... I have to go. Excuse me."

"Go where?"

Anywhere.

Anywhere but here.

She didn't answer his question when she just started walking away. Bucky didn't follow her though, thankfully. As she made her way through the crowded soldiers, she couldn't stop thinking about the visual image of the pair stuck in her head.

Repeating over and over again.

Cutting through her. Over. And Over. Again.

Natasha didn't even make it to the bunks when she already felt something wet slip down her cheek.

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She didn't know what she was doing.

But she somehow ended up going over to Howard Stark's office. When he opened and the door, his reaction could almost be related to him seeing a ghost. He looked surprised to see her so suddenly.

Especially of the fact that she came to see him. And the fact that she still hadn't change out of her battle clothes was already strange enough as it is.

"Hey," her voice was quiet and faltering.

Howard's look quickly shifted over to concern. "Anne, good lord, what happened to you? To the rest of you? Is Steve here?" He was suddenly looking at the blisters on her arms. "Shit, we need to get you treated. Come on."

She grabbed his arm before he could step away.

He stared at her. Shocked.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Is this about the watch?" She shook her head. "Then it can wait—"

Natasha held onto his arm tighter. "No!" He jumped at her voice. And she seemed to notice this and said more softly. "It's about..." Steve.

But she couldn't say it.

She couldn't.

Howard seemed worried about her. Her hand that was clutching the sleeves of his coat was shaking. Her lips were quivering as well. And her eyes... Shit. "Are you crying?" he whispered, wide-eyed.

Of course, she wouldn't admit that. "No," she gritted her teeth. "I am not."

"Listen, let's get you treated first and then we'll talk, alright? Anne?"

If he was with most girls, he wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of the situation to use his charm on her. To flirt with her. To take advantage of the emotional and weak state she was in just to satisfy himself.

But she wasn't just any girl.

So, he restrained himself from touching her even if she was practically the one clutching onto him like she was going to faint. He kept his own hands to himself (No matter how tempting it was not to).

Hesitantly, she weakly nodded.

And he walked by with her until they reached the medical ward for the other nurses to treat her fresh wounds.

Becca was shockingly there. And the moment she saw her, tears filled her eyes. She lunged at her and hugged her tightly. She froze. But after a few seconds, gave into the hug and wrapped her arms around her as well.

"I thought you were..." She sniffed, pulling away. "I thought you were dead. You and Steve. God, Anne. What happened? Where did you two go?"

Did she not know?

Did she not know that the reason why they left was that to save Bucky? To bring her brother back alive?

"You... no one told you?" She asked, dazed. "We, actually... we went to rescue James."

Her eyes widened. More tears streamed down her cheeks. She let out a gasp as her hands went to cover her mouth. "You mean..." Her voice was breaking and she was actually crying and laughing in relief at the same time. "He's alive?"

Natasha couldn't help but tear up a little too. The look on Becca's face was more than enough to convince her that she did the right thing. "He's alive." She confirmed.

"Oh my God—I can't, Bucky..." She was breathing heavily, gasping out and crying, "I'm sorry but I... I need to. Is he here? Can I see him?"

"He should just be right outside. You won't miss him. Steve's right..." Her happiness deflated a bit at the reminder of him. "He's right with him."

Becca nodded and assigned the other nurses to help her out and excuse herself for a moment, promising that she'd be back right after.

Once she was all patched up, Howard came to help her. She refused it, of course, saying that she could work perfectly on her own. They headed back to his office, laying low to keep out of the other's sight because they knew how word spreads like wildfire around the base, and the last thing they wanted was to cause an issue between them.

She was already dealing with far too many issues for another one to add to her plate.

"So, you mind telling me what happened?" No. It was far too embarrassing now to think about again now that she has become sober with her emotions.

"My battery's 58% now."

"Okay, that's terrible. But what about the other thing?"

"What other thing?" she asked lamely.

Howard sighed. "Why you suddenly came to my office and had an emotional breakdown? I was completely frightened! I didn't know what to do!"

"You handled it just fine. Though your words of comfort might need a little work." She tried to diffuse the topic around.

"Hey, I'd like to think I did a pretty good job. Why do you think I always land a chance with—" He shook his head like he was saying all the wrong things. "No. Don't change the subject. I demand to know what the hell happened to you."

"You couldn't possibly demand something from me?"

He leaned closer, smiling flirtatiously at her. "Watch me."

Natasha raised an eyebrow, pulling away. "You're seriously not going down that way, are you? Because it's not going to work on me."

"Damn it. I thought for sure that's going to be it."

"I think it's time for you to get into that big head of yours that I am never going to be swayed by a Stark." She smirked. "Never."

Howard grinned teasingly. "How about a Rogers?"

Her smirk dropped, and her heart skipped a beat at the name. She stammered but tried her best to remain her cool. "Of course not. Are you crazy?"

He started to walk closer to her. Slowly. Dauntingly. "Not as crazy as you are for him that's for sure."

She started to step back. Her pupils dilated. Her breath staggered. "What are you doing?" She continued to back away until she felt her back press against the wall.

Howard was leaning over her. So close that they were barely a foot apart. Then he rested one arm on the wall beside her face. "Tell me, Agent Klein... do you harbor special feelings for our beloved Captain Rogers?"

Her face started to redden. Both in anger and embarrassment. "Stark..."

"Do you like Steve?"

"Where the hell is this suddenly coming from?"

"Just answer the question."

"No."

Then he placed both his hands on the wall. Trapping her in. He stared into her emerald-green orbs. "Do. You. Like. Steve?"

Her mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again. She was gaping like a stupid fish and blushing like a complete moron just because of Stark's simple question.

Do you like Steve?

Her stomach fluttered at the thought. What... could she? Did she?

Does she?

"Answer me, Anne."

Despite turning red, she managed to shot him a glare.

He wanted an answer?

Fine. She was giving him an answer.

She lifted her foot and slammed it down on his to hear a sickening crunch. It wasn't strong enough to break it, but it was enough to make him gasp in pain and release his hold on her.

"Ahk!" He was jumping around, squeezing his eyes in pain while holding his knee to cradle his sore foot. "What the hell was that for?"

"What the hell was that for?" She glared at him harshly. Her voice was close to screaming already. And she was sure that if anyone passed outside they could hear them loud and clear. "What were you thinking? Suddenly coming up to me like that? Are you just that much of an asshole?"

Even with the pain, he still managed to give her a dry laugh. "It got you to think, didn't it?"

She stiffened.

No. No. He's playing you.

There's nothing to think of. Right?

"Just admit it. You like him. There's no point in denying it. It's so obvious."

"I won't admit it and I won't deny because there's nothing to admit nor deny."

Howard sighed. "You're so fucking stubborn that it's getting annoying."

"Shut up."

He raised his hands in surrender. "All right, fine. Think all you want but you can't deny it any longer."

He was already sure that she was aware of the fact that Peggy harbored romantic feelings for the Captain. But what he didn't know was if she was aware that Steve might feel the same way about Peggy. The guy was definitely showing interest in her.

And if things continued to go this way, then it's going to be her loss.

Especially if she's going to be this goddamn blind and stubborn to even realize her own feelings.

"I just hope that you'll realize it before it's too late. Because from the looks of it, I'm very well certain that you're not the only one who has eyes on Steve."

Yes.

She was very well certain about that too.

As unfortunate that sounded.

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