Sage crouched down behind a thick bush that reeked of sour piss, and he had to keep himself from gagging at the foul stench. With his lips pulled up to cover his nostrils, he did a hand motion for the men behind him to follow him.

Their footsteps were silent as they trotted behind a row of trees for cover, then pressed their backs up against the side of a building just a few seconds later. Sage peered over the corner, and once he confirmed the coast was clear, he held up three fingers to signal that only three of them needed to stay on him.

With four of them in total, they could cover all directions while maneuvering through the building. Sage heard a body drop, and looked to the right where brief smoke was coming from Mile's gun that was now back in position against his chest.

Hearing movement ahead of them, Sage aimed his pistol in front of himself, tilted it to the left a bit, then let out two shots. The sounds of thuds followed, and he knew he had hit his targets. Sometimes he worried that he might accidentally shoot one of his men since they were all in the dark, but if they followed his directions correctly they wouldn't get hurt. So, oh well if he did.

"Sarge," Malaki gestured to the right with his head, causing Sage to look over. He gave a head nod to give Malaki permission to kick the door down, and watched as he did it.

All four men laid eyes on six children; four girls and two younger boys who all wore ripped clothing and looked as if they hadn't eaten in days. They shuddered in fear, holding one another tight to prepare for whatever was coming.

"I got eyes on six under ten." Sage spoke low into the mic near his mouth, communicating with the head sergeant who was still at the takeoff pad, orchestrating this mission. Six under ten meant that there were six kids, appearing to be under the age of ten years old.

"You have your orders. Take everyone out."

"These is kids," Sage repeated to make sure that he understood. He was literally being told to kill children; children who hadn't done anything at that. It looked like the Taliban had already done a number on them, and left scars and bruises as proof too.

"You have your orders." The Major intervened, who was all the way back at camp, causing Sage to suck his teeth.

He turned the other way and did a hand motion, then six shots followed. His eyes shut as he resonated with the fact that he'd just gave his men permission to kill those children. They were all headshots, so each death was immediate with no pain. As bad as it was, that made Sage feel just a little bit better. He prayed over the children and himself, before walking out of the room and back towards the hall.

Tears stung at his eyes, but he had to keep moving. He couldn't stop and dwell on what had just happened because that could cost his own life, as well as the life of his fellow soldiers. He hated that they had to do things like this though. It was so unfair.

"Stay behind me. File in." Sage spoke to where the other three could hear, causing them all to get in a single file line behind him, following his footsteps.

As the moved further down the hall, Sage looked up just in time to see two men with masks on attempting to flee. He dropped both bodies with ease, and watched their guns fling out of their grip.

He held up two fingers, and then did a motion to press them forward. Two men came from behind him and rushed to go strip the Taliban men of their weapons and ammunition, but then a clicking noise could be heard.

"Grenade. Go!" Sage aggressively waved towards the right, knowing that the grenade only took exactly three seconds to detonate. The kill radius from the explosion would be fifteen feet, and casualty radius would be within fifty. They had to move, quick.

This is where their running training came in handy. They had less than three seconds to make it 75 feet out, while still carrying their thirty-pound gear on their backs. This was why they took base training so seriously; it could one day save a life.

"Miles! No!" Jaylen called out, attempting to run to where he was, but was pulled back by Sage, Malaki, and Drew. They all watched as the grenade went off in Mile's hand, followed by Jaylen's scream of shock.

Jaylen and Miles were blood brothers, and Sage couldn't fathom being in their position. How was Jaylen supposed to go home and tell their family that his little brother died in combat, with a grenade in his hand that went off and burned every fiber of his physical being, in a slow and painful death.

It saddened Sage even more that if he ever was to be in Mile's position, he wouldn't have anyone to notify of his death. He was stuck in this stone cold world, all alone. Nobody would bat an eyelid if he died right now. Everyone's life would just keep going. That scared him.

Sage closed his journal that he was writing in, and laid his head down on his table, letting his right leg bounce in place underneath it. The flashbacks of his time in service just wouldn't stop and it was so aggravating.

He couldn't tell if this was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or not because he wasn't being triggered or anything, he just had visions of the past as if he was living through it all over again. He could currently feel the same feeling in his body that he'd previously felt during the time of the vision, but it immediately went away when something snapped him out of it.

It was tiring. The whole reason he agreed to leaving Afghanistan was because he wanted to put it all behind him. Unfortunately, his mind wasn't letting him forget anything that he'd done. He just had to live with it.

Being pulled out of his thoughts again, he annoying groaned to himself at the sound of knocking come from his front door. He knew that it had to be Mariah because of the way the knocking didn't stop. She liked to be annoying on purpose now that they were friends.

He spent yesterday with her and Solana, well mainly just Mariah because Solana stayed in the bedroom. Mariah told him that she was feeling sick, and he didn't question it further since it wasn't really his business. He did give his well wishes though.

Mariah had dyed parts of his hair blonde last night, and surprisingly, he actually liked it. She gave him a fresh re-twist too since he'd gotten some new-growth from the last time he did it himself a couple of weeks ago.

Today they were supposed to go to the mall together, even though he told them he didn't need a new wardrobe. Apparently he was 'too fine to be dressing like a regular nigga', in Solana's words. He had honestly forgot about going and wasn't in the mood for it now.

"You are so annoying." He stale-faced Mariah after opening his door, but all she did was give him a smile that showed off her pretty white teeth.

"I don't even have clothes on Mariah." He let her pull him out of his apartment anyway, closing the door behind them.

"That's okay. My baby still not feeling good so we just chilling. We ordered wings." She added the last part since she knew they were his favorite. He had ordered them three more times after getting them for dinner that night at the arcade.

"Not like I have a choice anyway.." He shook his head, being pulled into their apartment. Mariah closed and locked her door, then gestured him to follow her to their bedroom.

When they made it back there, Sage saw the Wingstop trays on the dresser, along with an unopened drink as if Mariah knew he would say yes to coming over. How could he pass up free wings though?

Mariah gave him a tray of buffalo hot wings and lightly seasoned fries, as well as the drink from the dresser. He grabbed a few things of ranch out of the white plastic bag, and then headed to sit on the floor.

"Thank you Mariah." He made sure to say before he even touched his food, making her look up from her phone.

"Aw, look at you being nice." She childishly grinned, and he chuckled, rolling his eyes.

"I'm not mean to you, you're just sensitive." He told her, dipping some of his fries in ranch.

"Boy bye. Every day you call me annoying but when I stop talking to you, you be ready to cry. But I'm the sensitive one?" She tilted her head to the side, laughing once he ignored her.

"Stop talking to me now." He tried not to smile in an attempt to be serious, but let it happen as Mariah continued to laugh. Her laugh was contagious as hell, especially since nothing funny had actually happened. She was just laughing to laugh.

"Whatever. Don't be crying later, punk." She turned over on her pillow, feeling herself become sleepy.

Mariah knew before he had came over that she would fall asleep soon, and had only invited him because she didn't like the fact that he stayed cooped up in his house alone all day. She raised herself from a teenager until now, and being alone was the worst feeling she had ever experienced.

As long as he was friends with her and Solana, he would never have to worry about being by himself. They would welcome him with open arms whenever it was possible. Besides, Mariah knew that Sage was appreciative each time they invited him over even if he didn't admit it.

"Don't go home when I go to sleep okay?" She covered her mouth as she yawned, moving closer to her girlfriend.

"Aight ma." He mumbled, his eyes locked on the TV while he ate his wings.

"You gone get in the bed when you done?" She lifted her head to look over at him, and he shook his head no.

"Boy yo' ass really know how to aggravate me." Her eyebrows furrowed at him, watching as a smile grew on his face.

"If I find out you stayed on the floor, I'ma beat yo' ass when I wake up. I don't give a damn 'bout no training or nothing." She pointed her finger at him, which only made him let out a light laugh. It was hard to take her serious.

"Where do you want me to lay?"

"It's room on both sides. It don't matter." She pulled her cover back over her shoulder, and he nodded in response even though she couldn't see him.

After joking with him a little more, Mariah ended up falling asleep with her left leg laid across Solana's lower stomach area. Their room grew cold within a few minutes, and Sage had the nerve to leave his apartment with only a white muscle shirt on.

Finishing up his wings, he went to go throw his trash away, and washed his hands at the kitchen sink since he was already in there. He had half a mind to just go home and take a nap, then disregarded the thought as he headed back to where he previously was.

He had planned to lay next to Mariah, but she slept so wildly that there wasn't even any room on her side. He walked around the bed and sat on the side of Solana, resting his back against their comfortable pillows. Theirs felt way better than his-which upset him because he paid over a hundred dollars for each of his tempur-pedic cloud pillows.

An air vent was towards the right of him on the ceiling, but was seemingly blowing cold air directly on him. He didn't want to get under the covers with them because he didn't know if he had the permission to or not, so he decided to just freeze.

Oh well, he thought.

"Mazari get yo' cold ass under the cover." Solana's voice came from the side of him, making him turn his head to look at her. He hadn't even realized she was awake. Her eyes were still closed though.

Without saying anything, Sage did as told, leaving a little space between the two of them. He still didn't know just how comfortable Solana was with him; but Mariah, on the other hand, would've had all of her weight resting on him by now.

Catching him off guard, she reached across his chest to have her hand near the other side of his head before resting her fingers near his cold ear. She rubbed it to put herself back to sleep, and Sage just laid there.

"You still sick ma?" He curiously asked her; not actually worried about the spreading of germs, but rather her health overall.

"Go to sleep." She mumbled, taking her hand away from his ear a few moments later to tuck it between her legs for warmth.

"Riah said you was sick yesterday. Are you still sick?" He asked her again, chuckling when she put her hand over his face to shut him up. He put his hand on her wrist, then moved it back to his ear so that she could rub it again. The texture of her skin made him look down, able to see the cuts on her arm from the TV light.

Solana immediately pulled her hand away from him, tucking it under herself once again. She turned her head to face the other way, now slightly embarrassed. Every time somebody noticed it she wished she could just pull her arm off and throw it in the trash.

Even with as embarrassing as it was, it wasn't enough to make her stop. She never explained to anyone why she did it because she hardly knew the reason. It didn't help solve anything but she still did it anyway. She was trying to cut back on it now-no pun intended.

"Shut up." She cut him off just before he could say anything, not in the mood to hear a lecture from somebody who knew nothing about her or what she'd been through.

"I wasn't gone say nothin'. Look." He pulled his own arm up, making Solana turn her head to look at him again. She saw the cuts that covered his whole forearm, but had been mostly covered up by his tattoos, excluding a few fresh ones.

"I'm not going to bond with you over this. This is not 13 Reasons Why." She said, then face palmed herself because he hadn't even watched the show in order to get the joke, which made him laugh.

Solana turned her body over to face his while making sure that Mariah's leg remained on top of her. She grabbed his arm to look at his wrist again, tracing her finger over the cuts. He had way more than her.

"It'll get better. I know it will. It's just taking some time." He told her, looking down at his scars as well.

"You gon' make me cry." She chuckled, feeling the tears burn at the bottom of her eyes. Such a simple phrase explained her pain so well. It was taking a lot of time.

"Punk," He teased, earning a genuine laugh from her at how he'd unintentionally copied Mariah's lingo.

Solana's laughs slowly died down, being sucked into the negative energy of her own thoughts. She laid her her down on his shoulder, still looking at his wrist. It was crazy to see someone else's self-harm scars up close.

A part of her wanted to tell him to stop doing it; like Mariah said every time she realized that Solana was doing it again. She felt like such a hypocrite. Half the times her and Mariah argued about it, she always blamed her girlfriend for caring too deeply about something that shouldn't have bothered her so much.

But now as she stared at Sage's wounds-some much deeper than hers and had left a thicker layer of skin over the scar-she wished she had the right to cuss him out for the thought of hurting himself even crossing his mind. People just couldn't help it though, and she was included in that.

"How do you do it?" She asked him a few quiet minutes later, making him look over at her in confusion.

"You don't have any friends or family, and you've been in a literal war for most of your life with nobody to talk to about the shit you been through.."

"How do you keep going if there's nobody there for you? I know it's hard. How come you haven't given up?" She pondered, watching as he seemingly reflected on his answer.

"I tried. I failed at that too."

"I had to learn that I still have myself. Nobody knows you better than you, so nobody else can help you get through something better than you can. I'm still here for me, even when I be tired. I guess I just don't wanna fail myself again." He shrugged to match the casual monotone he held, appearing to not care much about it.

"How's that been working out?" She curiously asked, assuming it wasn't going as he had planned since he had fresh marks on his skin.

"It's a work in progress. I haven't been doing so good but I'll get back on track soon. It's easier to say it than to actually do it." He expressed, turning his arm the other way because he hated looking at what he did to himself.

"Is that the real reason you were sick yesterday?" He asked after not getting a response from her, and she nodded her head.

"Mariah and me weren't talking because I did it again. That's why she invited you over. She hates being by herself," She chuckled, briefly pausing.

"It makes her sad when I do it 'cause she thinks it's her fault. She tries so hard to keep me happy but I still do it so she thinks she's doing something wrong." Solana became emotional as she talked to someone else about it for the first time.

"I try so hard to stay happy, too, but I keep going back and I don't know why. I don't even have anything to be sad about anymore, you know? Like I haven't been through shit compared to you so why I do feel so-ugh. I don't know. This is stupid." She sniffed, using the back of her hands to angrily wipe her tears away.

Sage didn't say anything because he knew she wasn't done ranting, and he didn't mind being a listening ear. It was obvious that it was hard for her to talk about it, so he was glad she deemed him worthy enough to be the one she expressed herself to.

"Now I feel bad because I'm talking to you and all she ever does is ask me to talk to her. It's just hard because my baby is such a happy person. Like, genuinely happy. Even with the shit she's been through, she's sooo happy. I find it hard talking to her 'cause we don't have nothing to relate to when it comes to-this," She gestured to her arm.

"She doesn't have to relate. If y'all are together then your pain is her pain. She's with you so that you don't have to feel like this by yourself anymore. But if you don't let her help you, how do you expect to get better? No offense, but you obviously aren't doing a good enough job by yourself." He told her, causing her to shake her head with a smile.

"You ain't doing too good either." She nudged his shoulder, and he chuckled, following up with a shrug.

"At least I'm trying. You just keep letting it happen with no real effort to get over it." He turned his head to look at her, and she held her fist out to playfully hit his jaw.

"That's fucked up Mazari." She covered his face with her hand, laughing once he evilly smiled without the intention to.

Bonding over trauma>>> 😍😍😍😍 my little coocoo besties