June felt numb.

For the first time since the first day that they arrived, nothing felt real. There was no way Cassandra could be dead. It wasn't possible.

Allie sat beside June at the front pew, but neither girl glanced over at each other. Both of their eyes were trained ahead. June's heart broke for her friend. She had only become close to the two in their short time there, but she knew what Allie was going through. She had just lost her best friend. The same way June had, a few months before, with her mom.

"You okay?" Will asked, gently placing a hand on Allie's shoulder.

For the first time, June glanced over at the girl. She watched the tears well in her eyes, and the way she avoided looking at Will. June then shot the boy a look, although he didn't see it. She wanted to scream. Of course she's not okay, dumbass.

Will was pulled away when his eyes fell on something, or someone, behind them. June glanced back as the boy marched away, her face contorting with disgust. Side-by-side, Campbell and Harry sauntered into the church. Her stomach was in knots at the mere sight of the boys. They shouldn't be there.

June watched on, though Allie's eyes were still fixed ahead. She couldn't hear the boy's conversation, until Will raised his voice, causing her to jump.

"Get the FUCK out," His voice vibrated throughout the room, causing everyone to glance their way. Finally, him and June agreed on something.

Gordie intervened, their voices dropping back to a low whisper. Not that it mattered, the church had gone completely silent, every ear listening in to what they were saying. June's eyes were pulled away from the unfolding confrontation to the girl next to her. Allie was the only one not sparing the boys a glance. Instead, she was still staring ahead, but now, she shook with her silent sobs.

When June looked back again, the altercation had ended. Will stood firmly in between the pews, his hands balled into fists. Campbell took his place beside Elle, who was looking around sheepishly. When their eyes met, Elle immediately looked down. June couldn't even be disappointed or upset. She couldn't feel anything.

With everything dying down, it was time to begin. Allie stood and made her way to the front, Helena taking her seat after. Tears streaked down Allie's face, illuminated by the bright lights overhead. For the first minute, everything was silent, as the crowd watched the girl stare at the lifeless body of her sister. Then, she cast her eyes out, to the people she had always known. To the people who couldn't save Cassandra.

"My sister, Cassandra, was good," Allie started. "She was a good person. Um... She was captain of the debate team, you didn't want to argue with her."

There was a pause as Allie's eyes scanned over the crowd. She sniffled, then drew her lips into a firm line. No one dared to make a sound.

"Who did this?" Her voice grew stronger. "Huh? Who shot my sister?"

The last sentence came out in sobs, and June felt her heart break. Perhaps, she did have the capacity to feel. In fact, she was feeling everything so strongly, she had lost the ability to process it all.

"Why did you do that?" The girl cried out. June felt the tears begin to pool in her eyes for the first time all day. "We needed her!"

June didn't let her tears fall, because she couldn't. She could cry later, and she was sure she would. Now, Allie was her priority. She quickly rose from her seat and made her way to the stage. To her right, Will had the same idea. The two offered each other a glance before taking either side of Allie.

"I needed her," Allie cried softly. June tucked the hairs in her face behind her ear and slipped her hand into the girls, while Will placed a hand on her back. As she sobbed, her eyes trained on Cassandra's covered body, the guard rose and hoisted Cassandra up. As they carried her outside, the rest of the church followed.

Outside, Helena said a prayer as Cassandra's body was lowered into the ground. They took their turns taking a handful of dirt and throwing it into the grave. June couldn't believe that had to be their goodbye.

When the ceremony was finished, Allie wanted to go home. Will and June agreed to walk her back, neither one wanting the girl to have to be alone.

"June," Elle's soft voice rang out, her hand grasping at June's elbow. The three stopped to look at the girl, Elle only offering them shy glances before returning her gaze to her feet. "Can I talk to you?"

June bit down on her lip and glanced at Allie. Her eyes were glazed over, as if she was in a daze. It's not like she needed her permission, and some part of June knew Allie would hate being tiptoed around and treated like a baby. So she nodded.

"I'll meet you guys back at the house."

While Will gave her a nod, Allie gave no sign she even heard her before the pair walked away. June returned her gaze to Elle, who was looking at her sheepishly. The normal admiration she held for the girl wasn't present. All she could picture was Elle next to Campbell in the pew, the same boy who had held a gun to her dead friend's head. She could barely look at the girl.

"I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay, I mean you and Cassandra seemed kind of close, so I—"

"What do you see in him?" June cut her off, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I—what?" Elle seemed taken aback, her eyes wide.

"Campbell, what do you see in him? Because, for the life of me, I can't fucking figure it out."

"He can be sweet," Elle defended, her posture growing more rigid. Her eyes darted around at the people passing by, but June didn't care who heard. "Look, I know how this looks but I know he didn't do it."

"You know," June snorted. "How do you know, Elle? How are you so certain that the same guy who threatened Cassandra with a gun isn't the one who shot her?"

"Because!" Elle's voice began to rise with June's.

"Because what?"

"Because I was with him all night!" As soon as the words left Elle's mouth, her face began to grow pale.

She was with him. The sentence repeated itself over and over again in June's head. Her hands balled up into fists. All of the emotions she had neglected to work through were bouncing around inside of her, threatening to explode. Tears pooled in June's eyes, but this time, she knew she didn't have the restraint to hold them in. So she looked away.

"Hey," Elle spoke softly. The blond reached out, trying to slide her hand into June's balled fist, but June pulled back. "I'm sorry."

June wiped away her tears before glancing back at the girl in front of her. From the look in Elle's eyes, she knew that Elle was finally aware of what was happening. Elle finally understood that night playing fugitive, up to every interaction they had in between. June saw what she assumed was pity on the girl's face, and it enraged her. She didn't need anyone's pity.

"You have no reason to be sorry," June shook her head. She turned on her heels, away from the girl, and sauntered away.

She didn't spare the girl a second glance.

✰

When June made it back to the Pressman home, which was now her home as well, no one was there. She knew Will had lunch duty, like always, and Gordy was probably working himself tirelessly for an answer, but Allie's absence made her nervous. She didn't want to coddle the girl, but she couldn't help but feel protective.

After a few hours of mindless distractions, Allie arrived back. Without a word, she went upstairs, and June knew better than to bother her. So, she waited some more, until, eventually, Will and the members of the guard arrived. The boys immediately got to work on eating various snacks. June scrunched her nose up in disgust, knowing no matter how hungry she was, she didn't have the stomach to eat during that time.

"We need to be careful right now," Will started their small meeting. "What we say, what we do. Less than half the kitchen showed today, and no body even bothered to call."

In the seat next to her, Jason tilted his head back and finished off a bag of lays chips. June was disgusted.

"It's not just the kitchen staff. No one picked up the garbage all weekend." Grizz chimed in.

"It fucking reeks," Jason complained.

"If we don't follow the work schedule we're screwed," Will acknowledged, his eyes trained ahead at nothing in particular.

"And if the kitchen collapses, people will go after the food."

"People need to be forced to do their jobs," June spoke for the first time, drawing all the eyes to her. Her elbows rested on the counter, her hands folded in front of her mouth. She didn't glance back at the boys, but instead focused on rhythmic dripping of the kitchen sink.

"You mean, we need to force them?" Luke questioned, gesturing between himself and the other guard members.

"How are the four of us supposed to do that?" Clark's eyes bored into the girl.

"Someone out there has a gun," Jason argued.

"I'm sure more than just one person in West Ham have guns," June snorted, despite knowing the statement wouldn't make them feel any better.

The group was silenced by Allie coming down the stairs. She eyed them all before heading to the cupboard to retrieve a mug. June watched her. She remembered the first few days after her mother's death. She knew that pain, the feeling of simply going through the motions.

"What?" Allie questioned after filling up her mug. Of course the girl would be skeptical when everyone got silent because she entered the room.

"We were talking about how no body showed up to work today," Will informed the girl, unable to look at her.

"It's getting really bad out there," Grizz nodded.

"Yeah, no shit. Something terrible might happen," Allie scoffed.

"We were just saying how the work lists are falling apart," Jason spoke softly, glancing up at the girl.

"It's bad enough without her, we can't let the rules go to," Luke finished, and June's blood went to ice. His intentions were good, but the last thing he needed to was bring up Cassandra.

"I just wanted some fucking tea," Allie's eyes begin to pool with tears, then she stomped back up the stairs.

June was sliding off the stool and following Allie up the steps within a moment. Allie might pretend she doesn't need anyone, but June wasn't going to let her go through this alone. When she entered the room behind Allie, she didn't say a word. Instead, she simply took a seat next to her on the bed. Allie stared straight ahead as the tears streamed down her face. June slid her hand into the girl's, a flood of relief washing over her when Allie squeezed it, then laid her head on June's shoulder.

The pair were interrupted by the sound of a knock at the door. Allie lifted her head and pulled back her hand, wiping at her eyes.

"What?" She called out. Without a word, Grizz opened the door, a cup of tea in his hands.

"I brought you some chamomile, I hope that's okay," He offered out the mug.

"Thank you," Allie responded, gripping it in her hands.

"Also," Grizz reached into the pocket of his hoodie and pulled out a small notecard.

"What's that?" Allie furrowed her eyebrows.

"That is something I read once that really stuck with me."

Allie reached out one of her hands, holding the mug in the other, and accepted the card. Grizz simply nodded his head, before turning and exiting the room. Allie placed the cup of tea on her night stand and tucked her hair behind her ears before returning her head to June's shoulder. She unfolded the card, and, together, they read the words.

A/N: Another chapter up! I have this book prewritten a bit, and I expected it to be about 36 chapters. So, in other words, you guys haven't even seen the HALF of it. Also, I know y'all keep commenting for me to let June be happy, but wheres the fun in that? I'm just kidding. Eventually, my bb will be happy, but she gotta get through this bs first yanno? Thank you so much for reading, see you soon!