๐๐. ๐จ๐๐ญ - ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ฎ๐จ๐จ๐๐ฎ, ๐ ๐จ๐๐ญ ๐๐ก๐ก๐๐๐ค๐ง๐ฎ
The ride in question that Nicepool had wasn't what they had expected. Wade shook his head, "Oh no, no, no, no โ absolutely not." Linda crossed her arms as she walked to the drivers side. Wade held a confused hand up, "Uh, uh! What the.. no! No!" He protested as she opened the door. Linda huffed, "Just get in the car." Wade shook his head, "This isn't a car. This is Honda fuckin' Odyssey." He threw his hands up, exasperatedly, "Throttle response sucks a cock, dated infotainment system." He held a finger up, "When Honda saw that untreated chlamydia was makin' a comeback โ they invented the Honda Odyssey to compete." Linda's fist hit the top of the car in anger as she spoke, "Get in the fucking car." Nicepool looked between the two, "She'll get you there safe and sound. Old Betsy always does."
He then pointed at Mary Puppins, "You're gonna have to give me my dog back though." Wade sighed before nodding, "I know." He went to put the dog on the ground, Mary Puppins whimpered โ "Yes, child." Wade nodded before he looked up at Nicepool, "If you ever wanna give her up, or if she needs a new home, or if something should happen to you โ I'd love to be her papa." He motioned to Linda with his head, "And that one over there would love to be her mama." Linda rolled her eyes at his words โ even though deep down she thought they were sweet. Nicepool quirked his brow, "What would ever happen to me?" Wade responded in a monotonous tone, "Lots of stuff." Linda looked down at her feet, "Jesus." She grumbled.
Wade then tried to "run away" with Mary Puppins yet he wasn't moving, "No! We're running away!" He exclaimed โ Linda walked over and took the dog out of Wade's hands with a grunt, "Give me her." She ordered making Wade shake his head as Mary Puppins was taken away from him, "The corn was too dense girl!" Wade hugged Linda's leg as he pretended to cry โ Linda handed the dog to Nicepool, "There." Nicepool quickly began to coo at his dog โ Linda looked down at Wade and smacked his head making him whine like a dog โ "Get in the fuckin' car. Now." Linda ordered which Wade quickly obliged. Nicepool waved as Linda drove off with Wade โ his head pressed against the window to see Mary Puppins, "Bye!" Nicepool said as the couple went off on their way to the borderlands.
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Wade messed with the radio before Avril Lavigne began to play โ specifically her song "I'm With You" โ Wade sighed, causing Linda to glance at him. "Okay, I'm just gonna ask... what's with the suit?" Linda's grip tightened on the steering wheel. "First thing I did when I flamed out, I took mine off." Wade said as he motioned to himself. "Drop it." Linda said but Wade continued, "It's not that ugly, in fact, it's very attractive on you." Linda began to tense up, "Stop talking about my suit." Nevertheless, Wade continued, "Did you make it yourself? Been there." He sighed. "Quit. Now." Linda ordered โ Wade didn't listen, "The X-Men make you wear it? Those sons of fuckin' bitches." He shook his head, "They are not your friends I'll tell you that." Linda's eyes slightly watered at his words.
"Friends don't let friends leave the house lookin' like they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams." Wade joked but Linda grabbed his collar and pulled him closer, "Shut the fuck up about this orโ" Wade held his hands up in surrender, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch your frown lines, angel baby. I'm just trying to bond a little bit." Linda licked her lips as she breathed heavily from her anger building up. "Yeah well, then talk about something else." Wade sat back in his seat, "Fine..." Wade then began to act as if he was shooting stuff out of his wrist โ like a certain web slinger โ "Pshew. Pshew. Pshew." Linda got annoyed very quickly by this, "Stop it." Wade said one more โ silent โ pshew before speaking, "If they can fix your world, what's the first thing you're gonna do when you get out of here?"
Linda slowly realized what Wade had said, "Get some rubbing alcohol shots? Maybe a wiper fluid chaser?" Linda pressed on the brakes โ she looked at Wade, "What did you say?" Wade looked down โ avoiding her eyes, "I said when you get back, what's the first thing you're gonna do?" Linda shook her head, "No, no, no. Before that." Wade twiddled his thumbs, "If... they can fix your world?" Linda quickly punched Wade before grabbing him by the collar again, "What do you mean "if"?" Wade held his hands up, "I mean..." Linda furrowed her brows, "You lied to me. You don't have a fucking clue if they can help me fix things, do you?" Wade shrugged, "No, I mean..." Linda punched Wade again. "Ow! Fuck, I didn't lie." Linda shook her head, "You lied!" Wade yelled back, "No! I made an educated wish!"
Letting him go, Linda sat back in her seat and placed her head in her hands, "Because I need you." Pulling a picture out of his pocket, he showed Linda, "This. This is why. Right here. 'Cause if we don't do something, they die. I don't know anything about saving worlds. Linda looked at him, eyes red, "And why would I even care?" Wade pointed at the picture โ "Because my entire world is right here in this picture. It's only nine people, and I have no idea how to save it alone." He sighed, "I know how to fuck people up for money but you, you know how to save 'em." He looked down, "At least the other Wolverine did." Linda pounced on him โ stabbing his chest, "Fuck! I guess I'm stuck with the worst one." Wade groaned. Linda furrowed her eyebrows, "Did you say you made an educated fucking wish?" Wade tilted his head as he looked at her, "They call me "Merc with the Mouth." They don't call me "Truthful Timmy" or "the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon."" Linda punched him again, "One more word. Please give me one." Wade looked at her, the two breathed heavily, "Gubernatorial." Linda stabbed him again, Wade yelped.
"Oh fuck!" Linda pulled her claw out and sat back in her seat as she looked at him, "You know what? You're a fucking joke. No wonder the Avengers didn't take you โ or the X-Men, and they'll take fucking anyone. I mean, you're a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron." She sighed, "And yet โ I'm worse than you. I'm a low-life and seeing how fuckin' carefree you are makes me wish I could've been like the Wolverine โ your Wolverine." Linda just let the tears fall now, "I'm a failure. I failed Charles, I failed Jean, I failed my own family." Wade didn't know what to do but Linda's actions let him follow. She cried into his chest โ speaking ineligibly as Wade soothed her as best as he could, "Shh, it's okay my little muffin." Linda pulled away from him and spoke blankly, "I want to fight you now." Wade couldn't help but be both amused and aroused as he nodded, "Say no more."
Linda quickly began by slamming Wade's head into the radio โ "You're the One That I Want" from Grease โ began playing. The two punched and stabbed and kicked each other before Wade was thrown into the backseat. He had one of his knives sticking in his head. He motioned for Linda to come to him, "I take it all back. The Honda Odyssey fucks hard. We should see if we have enough room for the horizontal tango." Linda looked at him with a smirk, "Oh, we're just getting started bub. Just you wait." She pounced on him again โ the Honda Odyssey shaking all day and all night.
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