A/N: I have been slacking with my writing in this one, I am not even going to lie or make excuses because I know it is a fact (compared to my other stories, I just can't get into this the same way). Trying to turn this around now, although it might be too late and/or seem a little strange idk. It's not quite where I want it to be yet either, but I'll keep trying.

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Nervousness and slight confusion rushes with the alcohol in his blood, causing Yeosang to stumble his way through the crowd of the fancily dressed party guests. Lucas walks in front of him, and people divide around him - like Moses and the Red Sea. Keeping his head low Yeosang follows him, trying his best to ignore the curious eyes that are watching him - he sure hopes this won't spark some rumor that the two of them are back together.

Lucas leads him outside to a large balcony and past a few other guests, who are out there having a smoke. In the right corner they find a peaceful spot, and Yeosang slowly sits down on the white bench - his hands are warm and sweating from the anxiousness, and so is the back of his neck.

"You look so nervous, darling?" Lucas chuckles, as he sits down as well.

The playful tone in his deep voice, and sudden spark in those brown eyes makes Yeosang feel completely lost on what to say or do. Lucas seems to catch onto that, as he clears his throat and lets go of Yeosang's surprised wide-eyed stare.

"So... What do you want to talk with me about?" Yeosang asks, but his words can't really handle the climb over his lips, and they turn into a strange airy whisper instead.

Lucas turns his head to look him in the eyes again, and Yeosang feels how his heart drops in his chest, when he gets caught up in the memories they have together. A faint smile briefly shows on the lips of the older, and as it happens it is like the soft velvety feeling of their kisses still linger on Yeosang's own.

"How are things with your new boyfriend?" the older asks, and the sudden and unexpected question makes Yeosang flinch back a little.

"W-what? How did you know..." he mumbles.

Sucking his lower lip in, Yeosang turns his face away - too scared of what will be said next. Lucas must be furious that he seemed to have moved on so fast, even if the thing with Hyunjin didn't last for long.

Silence is dancing with the wind between them, and while tugging the bottom of his sleeves Yeosang can't help but smile to himself, just for a short second. Lucas would never have let him go to such a fancy event, wearing a no brand shirt and a non-tailoered blazer, had they still been together as a couple. He remembers how many times they had argued over something as silly as that, but Yeosang was always too proud to admit Lucas was right - in those kind of cases at least.

Image is everything to someone of Lucas' status, and his partner should be able to live up to the same standards - no matter how stupid Yeosang thought designer brands are. But hopefully, the older will find someone some day who will fit better into his lifestyle.

"I know a lot of things, Yeosang," Lucas then says. "As soon as my people caught onto the news, I knew it was only a short matter of time, before the tabloids was going to exploit your name for a good story."

Yeosang nods, slowly, his eyes staring blankly at the tiles of the balcony, tracing along every line between them while he wonders how to react to the things Lucas is telling him. The older's voice is calm, and it somehow makes Yeosang feel even more nervous. Their last conversation had went so horribly wrong, and sitting here now - like nothing happened - does feel rather awkward.

"You paid them to stay silent..." he faintly whispers, while the big question of why is spinning in his head.

From the corner of his eye, he sees Lucas nod at the statement. It was something the older had done many times before, back when they used to date. Yeosang hated the attention and the spotlight of dating someone with such a big influence in the world of fashion, and he never held back from telling Lucas how he felt about it.

"Why? I thought you hated me. I mean..."

"I know you prefer your privacy," the older promptly replies, with a small shrug of his broad shoulders - as if it isn't a big deal.

But Yeosang knows it is, in many ways. It must have cost Lucas a lot of money do to that, and after what Yeosang had done to him, it wasn't like the older owed him anything at all - especially not the favor of avoiding getting his name tarnished.

"Lucas..." A sigh carries out the name that used to make butterflies flutter in his stomach, and Yeosang can't tell if the sigh is because of relief or regret.

"You know..." The older leans forward, resting his elbows against his thighs and folds his hands in front of him, while he stares into the bleak night. "I have spend many days and nights wondering where it all went wrong. And sometimes I believe that moving to Korea was a mistake. I thought you would be happy to see your father and your old friends, but I feel you changed after we came here. And there are times where I regret our move. If we didn't, maybe we still would've been together."

The words get stuck in Yeosang's throat, while he listens to Lucas talk - and he can't deny the truth in what is being said. He knows he changed when he came back, and he knows why, but the vulnerability in the deep voice that always is so stern and confident, breaks his heart.

"- but we are not. And I have come to terms with that. I just hope you are happy now, Yeosang. And... I do hope he treats you well." Lucas turns to look at Yeosang, at the end of his words, but only for a very short moment before letting them fall to stare at the ground.

"We broke up," Yeosang says quietly, and he notices how Lucas seems to stop himself from reacting to obviously to the news that have passed by under his radar. "It's only been a couple of days, but it was for the best. We weren't right for each other."

When he thinks back on the last couple of weeks, Yeosang suddenly can't remember why on earth he would ever go back to someone like Hyunjin. His own words were the only truth, they weren't right for each other - they never had been. Their destructive nature only made things worse for the both of them, but the hardest thing to admit to himself is how he ended up being the worst of the two.

All these years, and he always thought Hyunjin was the most insane between the two of them, and he had somehow made the older look at him with scared eyes - and although it didn't hit him in that exact moment, Yeosang now knows that it was the wake up call he needed.

The fact that Hyunjin didn't fight more for their relationship than he did, after years of trying to get Yeosang to be with him - to be just the two of them hidden in the darkness they thought were the life chosen for them, had shaken things up inside of Yeosang's mind. And Hyunjin probably felt the same way too.

They weren't born into the darkness, they had made it themselves, and they had forced themselves to stay inside of it as they didn't think they deserved better than that. Yeosang had been too used to having to fight for the things he wanted in life, to a point where he couldn't see past the bad things and obstacles he put up himself. And even if he achieved what he wanted, he still had to punish himself for it.

San had been right in the things he said, when he angrily yelled that Yeosang would never be happy with what he had - that he would always chase after something better. He was right, but in a different way than the one he had meant it.

Yeosang will never settle with what he has, before he actually allows himself to be happy.

Looking into Lucas' deep brown eyes, Yeosang knows he was so close to having it all - so close he almost let himself believe he deserved it. But even someone like Lucas, someone who has it all and who can give it all, doesn't stand a chance against the voice inside Yeosang's head that feeds on happiness turning into agony.

"I know it won't make up for anything, but... I am deeply sorry for what I did to you..." Yeosang shuffles his feet around, heart in his throat when he lets his apology float into the air. "I am sorry that I hurt you, Lucas."

"We both did things we regret," Lucas then says, and Yeosang looks at him in confusion. "You told me, the very first time we met that you didn't do dating. And you told me a million times afterwards as well. But I fell for you so fast. And because of greed and not wanting to share you with anyone else, I put pressure on you and that wasn't fair. Does it make up for you cheating on me? I don't... Quite believe so, but I just... Well... I don't know. Maybe I should've let you go already back then..."

Lucas clears his throat several times, while rubbing his hands against each other. He then leans back against the wall behind them, and tilts his head upwards to look at the sky above. The light shining through the windows of the building, catches onto the small tears that are starting to show in the corners of his eyes. Yeosang has never seen Lucas cry before, not even once, and seeing him like this is like a knife cutting through his heart.

"I'm glad you didn't..." With a lump forming in his own throat, Yeosang carefully moves closer, and hesitantly places his hand on top of the older's. "Despite it all, I cherish what we had. I always will."

The softness of Lucas' hand embraces his, and Yeosang lets it happen without any regret or worry. In the brown eyes he lets himself fall one last time, reliving the wonderful feeling that used to fill his body whenever the older looked at him. Without breaking the eye contact, their fingers dance around each other, gently and softly, testing the waters before slowly stepping into the waves that could potentially be dangerous for the both of them.

A quilet gasp flows from Yeosang's lips, when he feels Lucas' fingers stroke from his cheek and down his neck. They move even closer, the older's forehead resting against Yeosang's own, and the brown eyes are keeping his attention locked in place. Yeosang feels his body heat up, as Lucas gently nuzzles his earlobe along his jawline.

"Lucas... Are you sure this is a good idea?" he whispers, but his own desire to kiss those lips one last time is starting to wash away his own hesitation. "I-I don't want to hurt you."

"If I say yes, just know that I am aware this will only be for tonight," Lucas whispers back, and his warm breath tickles Yeosang's lips. "And baby? I am not the one who will get hurt."

The last words come with such a seductive tone that Yeosang feels how his cheeks warm up in a second, and the rest of his body reacts right away too. Their lips are so close to each other, and the temptation of just one last night together is so close that it is almost impossible to not take it. Yeosang takes a deep breath, his heart racing in his chest while he tries to make a decision he won't regret...

"Lucas, I..."

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