✦

"I need to talk to you.
- Seonghwa."

Minutes have passed by, with Yeosang staring at the message on his phone, and the rush that had run through him when he first opened it has finally calmed down. But only a little. Locking and unlocking his phone several times, just to make sure he isn't just imagining things, while going through all kinds of scenarios in his head is on the edge to driving him mad.

Why in the world would Seonghwa text him out of nowhere, especially after what happened the last time? But the most important question is... Why does Yeosang feel so intrigued by this text? He shouldn't feel like this, he shouldn't feel anything when it comes to Seonghwa.

Nothing. Nothing is what he should feel.

But he just can't hold himself back. Maybe San was right after all? Maybe Yeosang will always be on the chase of something more. Something thrilling at least, something to make him feel alive. Even if it's going to hurt him.

Jun left Korea the night before, only two days after they slept together - marks and bruises still fresh on Yeosang's fair skin. Biting into his lip, Yeosang reads the text again, heart in his throat as his fingers start moving by their own free will - desperate for feeling just something.

"Why?"

"I just do.
Text me your address, and I'll send a car for you."

✦

With each step down the dark hallway, in a hotel located in the sketchy part of town, Yeosang starts regretting his decision more and more. Sometimes he fears he might get small blackouts where his brain just shuts down, and he ends up making the worst decisions ever. And this is definitely one of them.

Hesitation tries to pull his hand back, as he raises it to knock on the door - a brief moment of doubt rushing through him, begging him to just go back home and watch Wheel of Fortune with Wooyoung and San. Not that the latter is someone Yeosang wants to spend any second longer than needed with. And so, he knocks on the worn out door in front of him.

"What do you want to talk about?" Sparing no time asking the question, in the most careless tone he can pull out, Yeosang leans against the frame of the door, as Seonghwa looks at him from the other side.

"Are you going to come in, or?" Seonghwa asks, raising a brow while waiting for Yeosang to react.

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Why did you come here then?" the older scoffs, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I'm not going to have this conversation with you in the hallway."

With a obvious, heavy sigh Yeosang finally walks through the door, passing straight by Seonghwa who slowly closes the door behind them. The sound of the door closing is like a wake up call, and Yeosang suddenly realizes what he is doing.

Nervously, he walks around the small hotel room, almost too anxious to even look at the older. The entire situation tenses up, as Seonghwa doesn't speak either and the awkward silence is strong enough to crush both of them.

"Why did you and Lucas break up?" Seonghwa finally says, after what feels like hours.

"Why do you care? It's not like I told him about us, he would've fired you if he knew," Yeosang replies right away, only sending a quick look over his shoulder, before returning to acting like he's busy looking out the window.

"I know," Seonghwa says, sighing as he sits down on a rocky chair by the window. "But he has been acting insane ever since you two broke up."

"I don't see how that's my problem though?"

Silence repeats itself, Yeosang impatiently tapping his foot against the floor, and Seonghwa continuously clearing his throat and moving around with strange, irregular movements. Exhaling into a long sigh, Yeosang decides it's time to give up, there's nothing more for him to do here anyway.

"Okay, if we're done here?" he says, turning to head towards the door.

"Yeosang, wait..."

A hand on Yeosang's shoulder makes him stop. Slowly, he turns around, their eyes finally meet - and he is pulled straight back into the deadly waves, where he lost his heart four years ago.

With every step Seonghwa takes towards him, Yeosang takes one back, until his back is pressed against the wall.

"S-Seonghwa..." he whispers, but his voice is drowned by his own despair, and he feels so helplessly lost within himself.

Seonghwa strokes his cheek, gently, and the look in his eyes gradually softens. Now would be the perfect time to crush him, just like he had done to Yeosang. But the chance is fleeting, and Yeosang doesn't manage to catch it, before he feels himself falling again.

Their bodies are so close, too close, the comforting warmth is wrapping itself around Yeosang, pulling him in and holding him tight in a grip he wishes will never let go of him. But deep down, he knows it will never last. He knows he will end up even more broken than before, if he doesn't step away right now.

But as always, all of Yeosang's willpower vanishes by even the smallest touch from the older. He had been a fool to believe that coming here would end up any other way, but need for feeling Seonghwa's hands on his skin has soon overpowered any sign of regret and doubt. And his lips tastes like unspoken promises that will never be kept anyway.

Yeosang lets his lips part, Seonghwa's warm tongue embracing his own, taking him right back to the days he so desperately tries to forget. Completely lost in the moment, Yeosang doesn't think twice when Seonghwa starts to undress him. But suddenly, the warmth of the older disappears, and with his eyes full of confusion, Yeosang looks up at him.

"What is this..." Seonghwa mumbles, his eyes following each and every mark decorating Yeosang's skin.

"Nothing..."

Pulling his shirt shut in front of him, Yeosang now tries to avoid the judgmental stare that is resting on him. He shouldn't let Seonghwa's opinion of him worry him, nor does Seonghwa have even the smallest right to get upset about something like this.

"Aren't your fooling around days over by now? One would think you would've outgrown that kind of behavior years ago." With a snort, Seonghwa steps away, tugging his own shirt back in place, clearly disgusted with the sight in front of him.

"What are you trying to say right now?"

The question leaves Yeosang's lips, although he already knows what the older means. And it hurts. He knows he is far from innocent, they both do, but knowing that Seonghwa thinks of him in that particular way now, is something Yeosang had hoped never would happen.

"You know what I mean..." Seonghwa mumbles, already putting his coat back on again.

"Are you calling me a slut?" Yeosang then asks, voice steady and cold, but inside he is falling apart.

"Well..." Seonghwa says with a small shrug, his eyes not even looking at Yeosang by now.

Fighting to keep his calm, Yeosang buttons his shirt and picks his own jacket up from the floor. Swinging it over his shoulders, he walks towards the door before Seonghwa gets the chance to leave the room. He won't get the satisfaction.

"You tell me not to act like a slut," Yeosang says, turning to look back at the older, as he is about to open the door. "But you are the one who's treating me like one."

Storming down the hallway, Yeosang knows it was the wrong choice to come here, and the right choice to leave - and leave behind the last piece of his broken heart.

Although tonight did manage to make him feel something, it isn't enough, and Yeosang can't stop himself from wanting more. Not from Seonghwa, definitely not.

With the decay of his mind, Yeosang sees nothing but darkness.

And there is only one person left, who he knows he can count on will meet in him that darkness...