Two days later, there was a knock on the door. Through the days the Med-Jacks didn't dare to look me in the eye again, so just slid plates with food onto my bed and then rushed away again.

I didn't lay in the Med Hut. I was in a room upstairs the Homestead, where the Med Hut used to be, until they upgraded the place. There was one single bed and a nightstand. The rest of the room was damp and dusty.

"Who is it and what do you want?" I snapped.

"It's Alby. I-."

"Leave."

"Look, Val. We're so-."

I noticed the door slowly opening. "Leave."

"We're sorry." Alby continued. He even pushed the door further open. "And we would love it if you would come out of this room."

I was already sick of him, and everyone, acting like I was an injured dog. "No. Now get out."

"I'm sorry-."

"Stop saying sorry and get out!"

Again, I wanted to cry. Deep down I even wanted someone— well, not just someone, but an important person, though I didn't really know who— to hold me. Help me go through it.

But no one did. And Newt just disappeared out of the universe. Did he escape the maze by accident?

Alby sighed. "It's cold and the air is thick in here. I can barely breathe. Get some daylight or-."

"If you really want to do me a favor, go get Newt and ask where the hell he's been hiding. Does he think I'm a rabid monster too?"

"No one thinks you're a rabid m-."

"Then stop acting like you do. Now reply to my favor. Please."

His face darkened slightly. Frustrated, he rubbed his forehead. "Newt's been having..." He paused and sighed again. "Newt's been having a hard time coping with this all. Alright?"

For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had to do something about people not appreciating me. "He's my best friend and I'm sorry to say this, but as that role, he is supposed to be here for me."

"Yeah, but-." Alby cut himself off for a second. "No one can blame him. No friend likes to see their best one in this position. Respect him for that."

Now Alby was just irritating me with the way he talked. "Oh, I respect Newt a lot more than you think, Alby. But, not to be selfish, because if you hadn't noticed, lately I had people bullying me and I thought I deserved it, so I won't consider that selfish— anyways. I think Newt should come and visit me. Or was I, as I always thought, not that loved by him? Is it true I love him more than he loves me?"

"No, no." He shook his head. "You don't get it, okay? I should not be telling you this, so I won't, but Newt has his own reasons for not visiting you and that is not because he doesn't love you."

I swallowed away my tears. "Thanks, Alby. You may leave now."

"You still didn't-."

"You may leave now."

"Valerie, I was told to-."

"I don't care what they told you. Just get the shuck out of this room." The anger rose fast again. Alby gave me a glance, but didn't obey. "Leave. I never agreed to you entering this room in the first place. Be honored you could've."

"I-."

"Alby, leave."
I reached for a book on my nightstand.

"But we-."

"If you don't leave right now, I'll throw the damn book at your head, Alby. Leave."

"Do I need to help you take some medi- OW!"

I threw the book at his head. "Out!"

Alby tried to duck, but he already got hit. He gave me a glance, rubbing his head, and then walked off, muttering, "Why do they always throw shuck books at me?"

I sighed, still not wanting to burst out in the tears I had been sparing the last days. The hell was Alby even sorry for? Or anyone?

~

"Okay." Four weeks after my attempt, Jeff stood by the side of my bed. The boy had learned to act normal around me, after he heard about Alby and the book Fairytale. "Normally broken bones heal in about six weeks, so it won't take much longer. But, you'll have a limp for basically your whole life. Won't hurt a lot, but it's there." He paused, sighing. "You could already walk with crutches now, but you don't seem to bother getting out of this bed. In two weeks you'll probably be able to walk without the crutches, if it doesn't hurt too bad."

"Okay, thanks, Jeff." I managed to get out nicely. I had screamed to a lot more people to leave me alone the previous weeks, but never Newt. He still didn't dare to come close. "Have you heard anything from Newt? How's he doing?"

"He's doing better. Recovering from the shock, I guess." He responded. "And he's actually been planning something with Alby."

My eyes widened in surprise and curiosity. "What is he planning?"

"I've been told not to tell you that. Yet." Jeff assured.

~

A few days later, there was another knock on the door. I was busy in my mind, trying to let the anger of being alive sink and live with the fact I was, and maybe even being happy.

"What?" I snapped, reaching for my book in case it was Alby again.

"You know you can be limp buddies with Newt now? Even better best friends." They said. The voice sounded familiar to Gally's. It was Gally's, in fact.

A small smile curled on my lips. At least he acted normal and even made a, in my opinion quite funny, comment. "Come in, I guess."

The door opened. And there he stood, in his brown shirt, as always. Nothing had changed, though I considered his skin a little more tan.

"Sorry." He scratched the back of his head. "That was a really stupid thing to say after someone-."

"No, I liked it." I shrugged. The tension was thick. Neither of us forgot what had happened before my attempt.

He stood there awkwardly, fidgeting with his fingers and staring at the ground. I sat straight up. It didn't hurt my head much anymore.

"You can sit down," I told him as I took a glass and filled it with water. "Here you go."

He stared at the glass like it was something weird or shocking offer, but then took a careful sip. "Thanks."

I nodded. "You're welcome."

Silence again. It lasted for about five seconds.

"I'm sorry for saying you were dramatic."

"I'm sorry for crying in your hut."

We it said in unison. It took me a few seconds to understand what he just said as I talked through him. "Oh."

"You shouldn't be sorry for crying in my hut." He started. He straightened his back and lifted his head up, gaining more confidence. "I was being a dick. You lost your brother and asked me to help, and all I did was refuse and hurt you. That was rude and you honestly didn't deserve it. And I'm sorry I didn't try hard enough to stop the Builders. And that I let this happen."

That was... a lot.
Again, I nodded the whole time my head was producing what he just told me. "It's okay. Not really your fault."

"It is." Gally cleared his throat. "I know that I couldn't have prevented Luke from going into the maze, but the Builders..."

Every time he mentioned Luke it was like a shot in my heart. "Gally, don't feel like it's your fault. After all, I kind of did this to myself."

He gave me a poor smile. "You okay now, though?"

"Well, my leg is pretty shucked up and maybe I'm mental, but for the rest, yes, quite good."

"Good?"

"Mhm." I took a sip of my own water. "Maybe I showed them what all the comments and everything could lead to, so hopefully they'll stop now and I can finally live a more happier life, even if it's without Luke."

That was... half of the truth.

He curved an eyebrow. "Am I supposed to be worried that you're acting this happy a few weeks after very... dark times?"

"No." The corner of my mouth moved up even more. "But now I'm getting enthusiastic since you seem like the only person acting normal toward me, which means I might rant a lot."

"I've never seen you rant."

"Maybe you've never acted normal to me before." I smiled. "Do I still have to be a Builder, though?"

"Uh." He started. "Well, I've been told not to tell you that. Yet."

"That's what Jeff said." I sighed. "I don't like it. Seems like you are hiding something from me."

He shrugged in response and leaned back against the wall, still fidgeting with his hands. I looked down at them and immediately noticed his knuckles were red and almost seemed to bleed as if he had scratched them against a wall.

"What happened to your hands?" I wondered. His head shot up, confusion washing over his face. Then his jaw tightened and he hid them behind his back.

"Nothing."

I literally just said I didn't like it when people hide stuff. "Gally." I started, stern. "What happened?"

My voice didn't come over commanding or powerful at all, yet he let out a sigh and showed his hands again. "I fought."

"You- what?" I scoffed slightly. "Did you fight Newt and is he ashamed now because you shucked up his face? Is that why he doesn't want to visit?"

"Valerie, I must say you have a lot of fantasy." A small smile curved on his lips. "No, I did not fight Newt."

"Who did you fight?"

He looked down at the white sheets. "Uh, a few people."

"How many's a few?" I raised my eyebrows.

"I- well, I lost count. Not that I was counting in the first place." He muttered.

It felt like all the color drained away from my face. I did not like fights. "Why did you fight them?"

"Because they said stuff." By the looks on his face, he didn't seem to bother continuing until I lifted my eyebrows even higher. "About you."

My face paled even more. "Like... things they said about me before or after my, you know, attempt?"

"Both."

"Oh."

My heart ached. The comments didn't stop. And now Gally got violent for that. "Oh," I repeated.

"Rumors have been going around. They all kind of know what happened and why you're in this bed since some people overheard, but that doesn't stop them from making up rumors. I haven't heard many and even if I did, I don't think I would be happy to repeat them."

I swallowed deeply, hoping Gally continued even further. And he did.

"They made a few comments about how they were just joking and you were trying to get attention. That's when I decided to... punch anyone that dared to say more." He paused as he took a breath.

While he did that, I wished to disappear into the bed. They didn't stop. Was it all for nothing then? I got a limp gifted, was that all? I bit my lip, still trying to hide tears.

"Now they don't say anything. Things have changed a lot. During the meals, no one cares where they sit. I've seen Fry, Minho, and Newt sit together. Mike and Winston were having breakfast this morning and the Builders just walked around the place instead of the usual table."

That was something. An improvement. Maybe.

I was afraid the next things I said would come out of my mouth shaky or sad, but it wasn't too bad. "So I don't have to sit with the Builders anymore?"

He shook his head, clenching and unclenching his jaw. "Nope, I guess you won't have to."

I decided to let go of all the Builder stuff for a while. I did not want to cry in front of Gally— or anyone— after all. "What about Newt? Is he... is he like, worried about me or something?"

Gally did a little shrug. "He's just wandering around like usual, calming people down and everything."

"Aah." I nodded slowly. "Okay."

I had been right. Of course, I had been right. Newt didn't love me like a best friend. If I was lucky he maybe consider me as a friend, but I doubted it. And now he thought I was some weak suicide survivor who didn't even dare to go outside. Not weird he didn't want to hang out with me anymore, but... wow. Did he really not love me after all this time?

With my sleeve, I wiped away a tear as fast as I could, though Gally already saw. I blinked and rubbed the rest of them away. "Okay," I repeated. My voice was shaking.

"It's okay to cry." He told me.

It wasn't.
Their words repeated in my head,
is the poor girl crying again?

"I think... I think you might want to leave, Gally." Hopeful, I looked at him, hoping not to burst into tears.

"Chance is big that if I leave you right now, they'll blame me for making you cry."

"I'm not crying," I said triumphantly. "No tears."

He inspected my face for a long time. "Hm. Especially no watery eyes."

"It's a little dusty in here."

"I'm sure it is."

I sighed and rubbed my temples, averting my eyes from Gally. "I'd rather not cry in front of you." I paused. "So— in the nicest way I could say this— feel free to leave, really."

His Adam's apple moved. He nodded and left me alone, carefully closing the door behind him.

Three seconds after that happened, I let the tears fall. They came fast and uncontrollably. I hadn't cried in what felt like a long time and it was relieving to finally do it, so I didn't bother to look up when the door cracked open again and weight got put down on the mattress.

It was when a pair of arms wrapped around me that I froze. A faint smell of sweat, though somehow a comforting, misty and fresh scent entered my nose. It did not take long for me to realize it was Gally.

I didn't want him to hold me while I was crying. I didn't want him to touch me. And yet I let him.

I let him put my head closer to his chest, pull my body almost into his lap, and disappear into his arms. I cried until there were no more tears to drop. Until my throat hurt and I got tired.

And a small whisper, "Thank you."