A/N: Forgot to mention this in the information, but I am aware of the fact the Gladers/Builders would never be this disrespectful or rude. It's all part of the plot!

~

Everyone was supposed to remember one thing; their name. I did remember mine, Valerie, but the strange thing was, I remembered another name. Luke.

So many nights I had searched around my mind to find a clue of who Luke was, but I never succeeded. I couldn't break through the thick, stone wall that blocked all my memories.

I only had a few guesses. Luke was either someone related to me, like a sibling or other family member. Maybe a boyfriend, but I couldn't imagine having a boyfriend and someone loving me for who I was. So most of the time I crossed that idea off the list. And the other guess was a friend. A very good one... but what could've been so special about this Luke that made me remember his name? Was I supposed to remember him?

I hadn't told anyone else about it. Not even Newt. It wasn't that I didn't trust Newt, but... somewhere, deep in my heart, I doubt if he loved me as much as I loved him. Sounded weird, yet I really thought that. Because why would he love me? What did I ever do for him? Nothing.

The days soon went on and it was nothing but to get teased by the Builders, talk to Newt, hope to convince Minho to make me a Runner, and get patched up by the Med-Jacks now and then. It was almost time for the new Greenie too.

And I felt different than normally. My happiness ebbed away slowly. My sleep got less, my motivation to work got less... all ruined by just some comments. Maybe the worst thing was I actually believed them for what they said. I was the only girl, I wasn't good at Building or anything else, and no one seemed very happy to have me in the Glade either. Newt was my best friend, but I was sure he could easily live without me.

At some point, I started to think a few Builders dropped logs on me on purpose or sabotage my tools, but then I realized I was being crazy again. Or they were just mean, but I doubted that. They weren't that bad. Most of the time...

"Good morning." Mike greeted me at breakfast. I mumbled a morning and sat down across from Gally and next to Mike and some others. The urge to sit with different people was big, but only imagining what specific name I would be called for that was enough for me to not do it.

"Wanna know what day it is today?"

I felt like screaming at them. Snapping I didn't care. Yelling I didn't want to work with them.
"Sure." Eventually, that was all that came out of my mouth.

"Day Off. Ya know what that means?"

"A literal day off work," I muttered. "I'm not dumb."

"You don't seem so happy. Would you rather work in the kitchen and-."

"I'd rather have you to shut up, Carl. Thank you." I snapped. They whistled, as usual. It always happened when I spoke up for myself.

I already woke up with a bad feeling, now they were making it worse by starting to make more comments about Newt, Sloppers, and me.

I kept my head down, not wanting to show how much they hurt me. Not wanting to show how my heart broke a little more every single time.

"David," Gally warned when names flowed out their mouths. Horrible names.

When I felt tears burn in my eyes, I blinked them away, yet they kept coming. Just like the comments.

"Can you guys stop?" It wasn't much louder than a whisper.

"Stop what?" One chuckled.

"Those comments," I said quietly. I still looked at the ground, too scared to speak up again.

"Us stating the facts you mean?"
They laughed even louder at that.

I felt a stinging pain in my chest, probably from the breaking in my heart, I thought, at least. My breathing hitched when the thought of just leaving the table got into my mind. Why didn't I before?

"It's not nice to leave during a meal." Someone commented once I moved.

I roughly got up from my seat, not caring anymore. "And it's not nice to call me a whore!" I blurted out, loud enough for other people to look up. I slammed my hand on my mouth, stepping over the bench to escape them.

What I didn't notice, was someone holding out their foot on purpose. I tripped over it, my knees hitting the ground with full force. Right before my nose hit it too, I caught myself with my hands. My knees and elbows scraped against the grass hard enough to peel my skin, leaving abrasions.

My face grew red in shame. I felt like crying. And I knew by now everyone was watching. There was a yelp, the sound of a bench almost falling over, and someone stomping on the grass.

With a groan, I pushed myself up. Halfway through, someone took my arm and helped me. At the sight of the blonde hair I thought it was Newt, but turned out it was Ben. Ben from the Runners... helped me?

"You okay?" He whispered before giving whatever Builder held out his foot a death stare.

"Fine." I swallowed away my pain, shame, and bad feelings. "Thanks."

"Where's Alby?" Ben raised his voice so everyone could hear it. "Hm?"

"Ah, come on, Ben! It was a joke. You can't send him in the Slammer for doing that!"

"No, I can't, but Alby can." The Runner said blankly. I mentally thanked him so much.

"Ben, it's fine. No one has to go in the Slammer." I assured, still wincing from the stinging in my elbows and knees.

"Our most important rule. Never harm another Glader." Ben raised his voice even more. "Now you called her something horrible and let her trip which was clearly not meant as a joke. She's bleeding now."

The more Ben talked, the more upset I got. Not all the attention had to be drawn to me! Soon Jeff appeared and pulled me away from everything, wanting to treat my abrasions.

"Jeff, I don't-."

"Shut up and let me do this, Valerie." He put me down on a chair inside the Med Hut. With a cotton pad and rubbing alcohol, he dapped on the wounds. I winced at the stinging feeling of my flesh being cleaned. It was like salt and a paper cut.

"You need to speak up for yourself more."

"If I do, they whistle and call me things."

"You need to embarrass them back."

"If I do, they hurt me even more, like this. And besides, that's the worst idea, Jeff."

"Talk to Alby."

"They'll call me a snitch or weak."

"So what? If you want them to stop you have to take action." Jeff summarized. "Don't expect someone to stand up for you like Ben did back there every day."

"I don't expect anyone to stand up for me. It's unnecessary." I refused. 

"Then stand up for yourself."

I clenched my jaw, then unclenched it again. "Have you heard what I said? Anything I do gets judged. Literally anything. It doesn't matter what I wear, what I eat, my tone of speaking, and my way of working. They always find a way to tease me, or hurt me... physically, mentally, both, anything. Now you go and explain to me what the hell I did wrong to be treated like that, Jeff. Nothing. Apparently, I'm not even supposed to be a girl, maybe I shouldn't even be here! Or anywhere!"

My last words caught me off guard. And when I was done speaking, I took deep breaths, with a few tears running down my cheeks. I wiped them away super fast. Crying would make me even weaker.

"You're allowed to cry, Val." Jeff chuckled.

"No, I'm not." I sniffed and lifted up my leg so he could reach the wound.

The boy sighed deeply. "Are you okay? Like really, okay?" 

I looked up through my eyelashes. "Now you're acting like you didn't hear what I said at all."

"Answer my question."

"I'm not okay. Happy now?" I threw my head back. "Where's Clint? I can't handle talking to you like this like you're my damn therapist."

The words came out harsher than I wanted them to be, but all Jeff did was smile. He genuinely didn't seem to bother it.

"Clint's at a gathering." The Med-Jack explained. Before I could ask anything, he continued. "Newt and Alby were just here. Alby got a cut from helping to lift something and Newt forced him to get treated. As soon as Gally ran in here and warned what was happening, Alby called a gathering about this."

"That's a little over dramatic. A whole gathering because of this accident?" I rubbed my forehead. "And instead of going to his sweet leader Alby, can't Gally just control his Builders?"

"Turns out he can't." Jeff shrugged as he put a band-aid on my knee, moving on to the next one. "And it's not over dramatic. Do you think Alby hasn't noticed what's going on during every meal? They discussed it in front of me."

"If he notices, why doesn't he stop them?" I snapped. I was so annoyed. They didn't have to care. Didn't have to patch me up or have a gathering... throw someone in the Slammer. They should've let it happen like normal. It was normal for me anyways.

Jeff exhaled. "Because Alby's patient. Like most people with a nice temper, he waits until it gets the worst, then gives a good punishment."

I let that thought stay in my mind for a while, thinking about it deeply. "A few days ago I punched a Builder because he made fun of Newt. That was worse than letting someone trip. How come I didn't get punished?"

"Because you were defending Newt, and yourself... and because Newt's the Second-in-command and can talk to Alby." Jeff cleared his throat halfway through his story. "You're allowed to defend if it's needed, Valerie. Don't be too scared to do it."

I rested my head against the nearest wall. "I hate this."

"Getting patched up?" 

"Not just that. I hate everything." I blurted out. Jeff kept focused on my knee, so then I started ranting uncontrollably, happy to get some relief. "I hate the Builders, this place, my job, the comments, myself, everyone except for a few people, and my life."

"It'll get better." He assured. He seemed taken aback by the things I said, so I wasn't shocked he didn't really know what else to reply.

But it wouldn't get better, though I didn't know that at that point. It would get worse, and not just the comments.

The door opened, Newt stormed into the room, his face raging. "Carl's day off will be spent in the Slammer." He announced.

I sighed again, turning my head the other way. "You're only making things worse."

"No, we're not. We're stopping this... whatever that behavior was! Alby threatened things would happen if Carl did it again and told Gally to have a good talk with his Builders."

It was relieving, yet not comforting to know this. I doubted it would make them stop. It would be worse, wouldn't it?