CHAPTER NINE
dumbasses left and right
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

     "CAN I PLEASE KNOW WHY WERE IN A FUCKING CEMETERY THIS LATE AT NIGHT?" dakota asked not liking being around dead people in the middle of the night.

     "we're here to feed you to the dead." jj joked ruffling her hair as they walked through the cemetery to wherever john b was taking them.

     "wanna hear a story?" dakota asked randomly.

     "sure why not." pope agreed, thinking maybe it will take his mind off of his wondering thoughts about the cemetery.

     "once upon a time, five teenagers walked into a cemetery in the middle of the night and got themselves killed. the end." she said as she continued following john b.

     pope's eyes twitched, "shut up."

     "hey come on, this place is scary." kiara shivered, "john b what are we doing?"

     "shh!" john b shushed them.

     "you know how you're trying to remember a song and can't remember who sings it?" john b started explaining. "so, redfield. this whole time, i thought it was a place, right?" he looked back at his friends as he shines his flashlight ahead of them, "but it's not a place. it's a person."

illuminated from john b's light, redfield was written above them on the top of the tomb.

"voi-effing-là."

john b turned around to face his friends again, "see, my great-great-grandmother olivia redfield. that was her maiden name." he explained.

"help me with the door. come on." he motioned toward the other two boys.

pope, jj, and john b took few steps ahead and were trying to push open the door that didn't seem to want to open, while kiara and dakota stayed back and examined their surroundings once more.

all of a sudden a snake hissed out of nowhere startling them all.

"a snake!" jj whisper shouted as everybody stepped away from it.

jj bent over to get a good look at the snake. "that's a moccasin, all right. ye old dr. cotton mouth. death and tall grass." he spoke out in an odd voice following the snakes movements, until he started barking at it.

dakota looked at jj with a what the fuck face looking at him like he's finally gone insane.

"jj, shut up. shut up." kiara scolded.

pope walked up to jj and smacked him on the shoulder, "you're gonna wake the dead, man."

"dude, they're afraid of dogs. everyone knows that man." jj defended.

dakota walked forward to get a better look around the tomb but was held back by jj grabbing her waist. "if there's one, there's probably dozens."

"what?"

"all around."

"stop you're scaring me." kiara told jj fed up with him, although she was ignored as jj once again started barking.

john b pushed jj back, "stop barking at the snakes."

dakota walked forward and patted jj's shoulder, "dude, you're a dumbass." receiving a playful glare in return.

"i'm just making sure it's clear." he once again defended his actions.

"shut up." pope said sternly, "john, look. we're not gonna get in there, all right? it's not budging. we should probably just go."

     after a moment of silence, kiara spoke up, "i can get through."

all four heads snapped towards her after she spoke up.

"what?"

"no, no, no, no. you think you're gonna fit through the hole?" john b asked. dakota couldn't help the giggles that escaped her mouth at john b's words—she was childish like that.

jj couldn't help but allow his lips to twitch up into a small smile after hearing her laugh, it was entrancing.

"look this is about your dad." kiara turned toward john b. "and honestly i really don't believe in it, but you deserve to know the truth. i'll do it. come on." kiara announced.

dakota couldn't stop the dragged out "awe" that left her lips. she always loved kiara's compassion for others. kiara was probably the closest thing to a sister for dakota— seeing as her brother didn't even put effort into taking care of her.

kiara walked forward towards the hole and asked the others to help get the tree out of her way so she could have a clear path to crawl into the hole.

"give her a boost." john b commanded to jj and dakota while him and pope held back the tree.

"sir, yes sir." dakota mocked the male's voice standing across from jj and they bother reached their hands into the middle so kiara could put her feet into each of their hands.

"remind me what we're looking for."

john b hesitated for a second before replying, "you'll know when you see it."

"hold my flashlight."

"all right put your hands right there." jj instructed as kiara approached dakota and jj's outstretched hands and planted one of her feet onto dakota's feet but hesitated for a quick second.

"all right, on three."

ignoring his count, kiara put all her weight onto jj and dakota as they pushed her up, dakota's hands shaking slightly.

"okay, never mind. just forget about three." jj spoke annoyed.

     looking him in the eye dakota responded, "quit being a big baby."

     "did you just body shame me!?" jj yelled out in fake hurt his tone laced with humor as he gasped dramatically.

     "will you two shut up and push me up higher." kiara let out annoyed.

     "got it." she hollered when she was able to shimmy her body into the hole. "okay flashlight?" she muttered reaching her hand out to pope who placed it into her hands.

     after a moment of silence, john b broke it. "you alive? you got, like a- a heartbeat and everything?"

     "so far." kiara's voice echoed.

     dakota snorted sarcastically, "well that sounds promising."

     "that's good, that's good."

     "uh i need more light." kiara said.

     "yeah, yeah, here. i got you." john b shown his lantern into the hole.

     "did you find something? is there gold?" jj questioned.

     it took a minute or two, for kiara to walk over and hand out some sort of fed ex envelope to the group with the words for bird written on the front.

     "that's not gold." pope pointed out.

     "holy shit." john b let out. "this is from my dad."

     jj let out the smoke from his blunt but then took notice of the approaching headlights.

     "code red. code red. square groupers! square groupers!" jj announced before they all took notice of the approaching vehicle and ran the the corner of the tomb, praying they won't get caught, jj grabbing dakota's hand in the process, pulling her forward.

"it's the guys who robbed your house." jj said to john b.

dakota gulped thickly, praying to god that it wasn't the same two men that already have tried to kill them twice in the span of a week.

crouching down, they all fumbled with their lights trying to put them out as fast as they could.

looking up she saw jj putting out his blunt against the wall instead of his head lamp. moving forward she hurriedly felt around his headlamp pressing the button to shut it off.

"not the blunt, stupid." she smacked the side of his head slightly, yet playfully.

hearing one of the men shout from the distance dakota popped her head around the corner slightly, jj following in suit trying to get a closer look.

"do you think it's them?" kiara asked the two.

"god i hope not." dakota muttered. she could see the men exiting the golf cart then she noticed of the object held in his hand.

"homie's got a gun." jj warned the group.

"screw this." all the teens looked at each other and all had the same thought— to run away.

dakota jogged forward, hurrying her pace when she realized the men were following them. she climbed the gate easily with not a lot of struggle seeing as she done stuff like this quite often recently.

"go!" kiara yelled from behind rushing them all.

     after four out of the five teens made it over the fence, the were about to run off towards the van until they noticed pope who oh so gracefully had gotten his shorts stuck on the gate.

     "guys i'm stuck!" he whisper yelled to his friends.

     rushing forward, dakota and kiara ran over to try and help pope get down.

     "wait you're gonna rip me!" pope kept repeating to the two girls.

     "you're fine come on!" kiara encouraged.

     dakota and kiara held a grip on pope's shirt pulling him back, however, their pulling must have been too hard because next thing they knew pope's pants detached from his body and were now stuck hanging onto the gate.

     taking in the sight of pope in his underwear out in the open made the girl let out loud laughs, not able to stop her laughter even after jj compared his thing to as he quoted a 'little tootsie roll.'

     all five of the teens continued to laugh as they ran up to the van and all clambered in as john b drove away right when the guards got to them.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

NOW BACK AT THE CHATEAU, dakota stood next to jj as he started putting peanut butter on john b's bread— john b's moldy bread.

looking up, he noticed her watching him with raised eyebrows. "what?" he questioned about the look she gave him. "do you want one too?" he offered

she scoffed, "yes jj," she answered sarcastically. "i would love moldy bread that will ruin my throat forever."

jj looked at her with raised eyebrows now, smirking as he came up with a witty remark. "i can ruin your throat with something else i think you might like." he wiggles his eyebrows.

dakota choked on her iced tea, surprised by his bold comment. "you're a pig." she pushed him slightly.

"but i'm your pig." he smiled cheekily before he returned his focus on the moldy bread.

"that bread had mold on it three days ago." pope commented as he entered the room.

"told you." dakota sang.

"i'll just pull off the bad parts." jj shrugged. "plus, mold is good for you. it's just a natural organism.

dakota patted the blonde on his back, "don't say i didn't warn you." she told him before walking over toward john b, pope, and kiara.

"jj." kiara called getting his attention which resulted in him jogging over as well.

"hot damn! let's do it." he encouraged.

john b ripped open the package as jj took a bite out of his peanut butter sandwich and almost immediately the blonde gagged and spit it out.

as their eyes made contact afterwards she couldn't help but smirk at him, "natural organism, huh?" she teased. he only grumbled in return, embarrassed that she was right all along.

     john b pulled out a pice of paper from the package and began unfolding it to reveal a map.

     "holy shit."

     "oh. x marks the spot." pope pointed to the black x that was on the map. all five of them stared at it intently.

     "longitude, latitude." john b traced his finger around the map.

     "wait, there's somethin' else in there." he announced pulling out a tape recorder.

     "what's that?" jj asked not a clue in th world what the object was.

     "it's a tape recorder, dumbass." kiara responded.

     clicking on the button, john b's dad's voice echoed off the tape recorder.

     "dear bird." the recording started playing before john b quickly paused it.

     "who that?" jj asked curiously.

     "that's what my dad called me." john b informed the group.

     "i hate to say, 'i told you so,' but i told you so." came big johns voice from the tape recorder once again. "and you doubted your old man. i suspect at this moment, you're filled with guilt and self-loathing over our last fight, but don't kill yourself just yet, kid. i didn't expect to find the merchant either." all five of them shared looks as they listened to the recording.

     "you were probably right to call me out. wasn't exactly father of the decade. what can i say, kid? i could smell the barn. and hopefully, we're listening to this in our brand new sugar-shack down in costa rica, living off passive investments and pulling on permits. if not, and you find this for less than optimal reasons, we'll, that's what the map is for. there she is, the wreck of the merchant. if something happens to me, finish what i started. go for the gold, kid. i love you, bird, even if i didn't always act like it. i'll see you on the other side."

     after the recording ended, no one knew what to say— they were too shocked at the moment. however, john b stood abruptly from his seat at the table and launched himself at the wall and started crying.

     "holy shit, he did it!" yelled jj, eyes wide at their new discovery. "big john- he found the merchant—" he continued but was stopped by kiara who gave him a warning.

     "sorry."

     they continued looking at each other, not sure what to do while their friend was clearly not okay. kiara walked over to him and carefully wrapped her arms around him to console him.

     at that moment, they all knew that their summer was gonna be hella hectic.