2018
trigger warning: mentions of cancer. if you're sensitive to this topic, please read with caution.
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"What do you mean by 'waiting'?"

(Y/N) sighed and closed her eyes, waiting as Pepper's loud exclamation drew a few heads toward their table before elaborating on her last words. Both women were sat on the last table close to the wall in a local cafe, trying not to draw a crowd to themselves. Either way, that cover was blown the second Pepper cried out in shock at her friend's words, almost spilling her cup of tea because of it.

Pepper was one of the most collected people out of everyone else who survived the Snap. (Y/N) admired her hard exterior, and wanted to know the secret to not show weakness or whether how she controlled it. It had taken a few tries to get (Y/N) out of her own shell, but when she succeeded, Pepper convinced her it would be a good idea to have a breath of fresh air while they chatted of topics that didn't revolve around the world's newest catastrophe.

"I thought it was best," was all (Y/N) could say in her defense, glaring daggers at the people who still didn't remove their eyes from their table.

Pepper leaned her elbows on the table before lowering her volume, also realizing the attention they had. "You told Tony to stop all wedding plans because you think it's 'for the best'?"

"Yes," (Y/N) internally winced at the way she phrased it, but it was the truth.

(Y/N) had told Tony to delay the original wedding date they had planned with the excuse that 'she wasn't ready yet', especially after all that's happened. It was half of the truth, but he didn't have to know that yet. She pretended not to notice the way Tony's shoulders sagged when she told him this, but nodded nonetheless to her wishes.

"You can't be serious!" Pepper knocked her back to reality.

"I am!"

"Why?"

"Oh, I don't know, Pep," she scoffed. "Maybe because half of the universe just died?!"

"Other than that," Pepper shrugged off the looks people were giving them. She drank from her tea before continuing her words. "There must be another reason."

(Y/N) stayed silent for a long period of time, not knowing what to respond to the question. Pepper, on the other hand, tapped her nails against the table patiently, as if she had all day for her answer. Her bangs were halfway covering her eyebrows, yet they were visible by the raise of eyebrows she was giving her friend because of the excruciating minutes of silence.

(Y/N) knew this wouldn't last forever, so she blurted out. "I'm scared, okay?"

When Pepper opened her mouth to comment, (Y/N) held her palm out to quiet her down.

"Wait, hear me out. Please."

Pepper took this as a signal to sit back in silence, encouraging (Y/N) forward on her words. (Y/N) knew there was no escape out of this, so she might as well get it over with. She passed her hands through her face with a groan, not wanting to say anything but being forced to by the look on Pepper's eyes.

"There have been so many close calls," she finally confessed. "So many to count with one hand. Some irrational part of me tells me that if I officiate this with him, it would set a curse."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing good ever lasts, well, for me at least. I'm scared to lose him. And I'm scared of what it's going to become of me when that happens."

"Oh, honey."

Pepper grabbed her chair and scooted it closer to (Y/N)'s, arms touching against each other before she wrapped her arm over her shoulders. The blonde pulled her closer and while doing so, rubbed soothing patterns on her arm. It brought a sense of comfort to (Y/N), who avoided eye contact and preferred to stare at the ground instead.

"Don't plant your life into 'what if's'," Pepper began, still rubbing patterns up and down her arm. "That's never good for you. Focus on your present instead. Of course I can't reassure you that nothing will happen, I don't have that superpower. Enjoy all the moments you might share with him and the future you'll have together. Whether it's 5 years or 50."

"And talk to Tony about it. Make sure you come to an agreement," (Y/N) raised her head from burying it in Pepper's embrace. "In the end, if you decide it's better to call off the wedding, it's okay. I'll just have to return my maid of honor dress to the shop."

(Y/N) couldn't stop the snort from leaving her lips. She stared into nothing for a couple of seconds, trying to figure out what to respond to Pepper's extensive advice, but no words came out. Instead, she turned back to face her.

"Thank you, Pep," she squeezed her hand. "I'm glad I talked to you."

Pepper shook the compliment off with her hand. "That's what I'm here for."

(Y/N) reached for her cup to bring it to her lips for a sip, but she was interrupted halfway when her cellphone rang inside her purse. She frowned, not used to anybody calling her at this time of the day, especially now. When she rummaged through her bag to find it, she saw that there was no caller ID, and rather an unknown number. The curiosity got the best of her, so she excused herself from the table to answer outside.

She barely made it out into the cafe's garden before she pressed on the green button on her phone and brought it to her ear. She was running her head through different people who might be calling her, yet none where the person was calling this time.

"Hello?"

"Is this Miss (Y/N) Vaughn?"

She frowned at the sound of her name leaving their lips. "This is her speaking, what happened?"

"I'm Dr. Highland from Parkside Hospital," the last words made her tense, thousands of possibilities hitting her at once. "You're listed as an emergency contact for Maria Rambeau."

A knot tightened on (Y/N)'s stomach, and she realized she had left the other person on the phone hanging for the last minute followed by her shock.

"Maria Rambeau?" she was able to voice out. "What happened?"

"I think it's best if you come in to talk, Miss Vaughn."

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It was surprising to say the least how fast (Y/N) excused herself from the cafe, offering her deepest apologies to Pepper, and flew over to Louisiana, where the hospital was located. She landed with a thud in front of the hospital's entrance, noticing the way passing civilians jumped at the sudden noise and the weird way they stared at her desperate look.

(Y/N) ran inside the hospital with her hair still tussled by the fast flight, and she whirled on her heels to find any desk where she could ask where Doctor Highland was. Patients and doctors who recognized her had their wide eyes on her, but she didn't pay them any mind. When her eyes finally found a desk far ahead the hallway, she bolted in that direction and rang on the bell sat on it to catch the nurse's attention.

It seemed like this nurse was used to this sort of behavior, since she raised her eyes with an unimpressed look. "Yes?"

"I'm looking for a Doctor Highland. Can you — "

"Miss Vaughn?"

At her name being called, (Y/N) snapped her head in the direction of the sound so rapidly that it hurt her body. The Doctor had her hands tucked inside her coat, excusing herself from the two nurses who were on her side and advancing toward (Y/N). Her eyes were wide and her eyebrows were furrowed, and there was no way to determine what did that mean exactly.

"You sure came in fast," Doctor Highland said, staring at her tussled appearance up and down.

"Doctor," (Y/N) breathed out with a knot in her throat. "Where's Maria?"

The lines on Highland's face deepened. She pressed her lips in a thin line. "Follow me, please."

(Y/N) had no other option but to follow after the doctor through another hallway, still having people's eyes on the back of her head. She stared down at the hospital's tiled floor to ignore the gloomy lightning above her head. The smell of hospitals was one she tried to avoid, yet always found her way back to it.

Doctor Highland stopped in front of a closed door with a random serial number written on the center, giving it a light knock before opening it. (Y/N) had so many mental images in her head, but none prepared her for the sight in front of her eyes. She had to sink her nails to her skin to avoid even letting out a sniffle at the sight.

Maria Rambeau was laying on the hospital bed, an IV stuck to her right arm and other tubes connected to her body or the machines. The patient monitor was calmly making noise in the background, nothing too out of the ordinary. Maria's skin had lost its natural, healthy color and her arms looked like they had lost weight. Her hair was much different than the last time (Y/N) had seen it, and it was almost in the same state as the rest of her body.

"Hey, you," Maria managed to croak out, despite her downward appearance.

(Y/N) took a step forward into the room, halting at the edge of the bed. She resisted the urge to crumble because of the third person in the room.

"Hey," (Y/N) responded, sniffling in the process.

Doctor Highland approached Maria's bedside too, grabbing a sheet in her hands and inspecting the patient's vitals. "How are you feeling, Maria?"

"Better than yesterday, Doc," Maria offered a weak nod, her voice different.

"That's great to hear," Doctor Highland nodded enthusiastically. "You have a visitor today, is it okay for her to stay?"

"Sure," Maria's eyes fell on (Y/N). "Can you leave us for a few minutes, Doctor?"

"Of course," Doctor Highland flashed both women a smile, leaving the sheet back on Maria's bedside table. "I'll be outside."

(Y/N) made sure that the doctor had closed the door behind her to finally let the dam of her emotions open. Maria was still eyeing her carefully, as if she didn't believe she was real or rather annoyed that she was.

"Long time no see, Lieutenant."

(Y/N) brushed the tear from her cheek. "What the hell happened?"

"Oh, well," Maria shrugged her shoulders, straightening the wrinkles of her bedsheets. "Some grow up to be Avengers, others get diagnosed with cancer."

"How long have — "

"A few months."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"You have a busy schedule, (Y/N). What was I supposed to do?"

"Did you have someone to help you? Anyone at all?" (Y/N) questioned, worried. Her mind set on the first person that was surely would be here without a doubt in the world. "What about — "

"Monica was enough help," Maria cut her off. "But that was before she. . .disappeared just like the others."

A gasp left (Y/N)'s lips. She hadn't thought of that at all, and the fact that she didn't made her feel incredibly selfish. She couldn't believe she had the audacity to complain when Maria had lost her one and only daughter to the Snap, and also having to deal with her treatments at the same time. God, she'd always admire her strength. But this time it was amplified.

"Maria, I'm so sorry," (Y/N) sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out a hand to grab hers.

"At first I was confused," Maria confessed, accepting the hand touch from her. "I couldn't understand how people just vanished. But then I saw the news, and I understood. Though it didn't ease the pain."

(Y/N) squeezed on Maria's hand, though not hard enough for it to hurt. Another tear escaped her eye, and she brushed it off before she could see it.

"I won't leave your side from now on," (Y/N) promised her best friend and herself at the same time.

"No, (Y/N). It's not — "

"I don't care," (Y/N) replied, decided. Her hand never left hers at any moment. "I'll be here no matter what. Another treatment, I'm here. Another surgery, you bet I'm here too. Hell, I'll get Tony to sign the paperwork to transfer you into a private facility if I have to."

"I can't ask you to do that," Maria spoke in a calm tone, hard yet it sounded with a weak crack. "Not when you have enough already."

"None of that matters," she shook her head. "None of that matters when you, my best friend, are like this."

"I'm fine now," Maria told her, trying to get her to change her mind. "The surgery went well. Doctors said I'm not at risk anymore."

(Y/N) didn't respond and pressed her lips together. She fought the hot tears forming in her eyes, and Maria brushed her thumb over her hand soothingly. Hell, she felt so guilty about not having contact with her over the last years, and that this had to be the terms in which she had to see her again.

Doctor Highland knocked on the door and opened it again, flashing a polite smile because she unconsciously interrupted the conversation. She held a stack of papers in her hands, and there was a pen hooked in one of her coat's pockets.

"Maria, is it okay if I pull Miss Vaughn outside for a moment?" she asked with a warm smile.

Maria answered with a quiet 'sure', meanwhile (Y/N) got up from the foot of the bed to reach Doctor Highland at the door. She stuffed her hands inside her pockets nervously, and nodded her head as if to ask why she was needed away from her friend.

"I want to discuss something and sign some paperwork with you, since you're now her only family member," Doctor Highland said, and turned over to the door. "Can you follow me out into the hallway?"

(Y/N) nodded and trailed behind the doctor, not before turning back to Maria before crossing the threshold. She, still on the bed, brushed her off with her hand. "Sign the paperwork so I can leave this place and not miss your wedding!"

(Y/N) nervously laughed at that, and stepped into the hallway without a word, allowing Doctor Highland to close the door behind her for some privacy. Maria was still visible over the room's window, but her attention was now on the TV placed on the wall across from her.

"Maria is luckily improving on her health," Doctor Highland spoke first, hands still tightly holding all those papers. "We're hopeful to see her recovery from the surgery over the next few weeks. Even though we're discharging her, she'll still have to come for weekly checkups to see if everything's going smoothly."

"That's good, right?" (Y/N) had her hands on her hips. "It means she won't need to worry about the cancer coming back, right? She's all clear."

Doctor Highland was firm on her look. "We don't know for sure, okay? But let's hope so."

"Okay."

Doctor Highland gave her the paperwork and the pen along with it, telling (Y/N) where to sign and the appropriate measures she'd have to take in order to keep Maria in check and healthy. (Y/N) knew this was a huge responsibility, but she owed it to her. To Monica.

The last words Maria had said before she exited the room rang on her head, along with Pepper's advice from hours prior. Her mind was set on a decision she knew she wouldn't change again in the middle of a hospital hallway, throwing away all her worries for the future and what it held for her.

(Y/N) Vaughn was set on two things. She was going to take care of Maria, and she was going to marry Tony.

weird conclusion in the end but oh well. first chapter of what happens in between those five years and i'm excited !! have a lot of things planned for this part and i'm not sure if i can include them all.

- see you soon, bex