───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰ ───

(Y/N) wasn't completely sure how her feet were able to drag her towards the control room after the news from Fury had her frozen in her spot. In all honesty, she didn't know how to react. She'd known Coulson since she returned to Earth, being the small new guy from the team all those years ago and now. . .he was one of the greatest people (Y/N) ever knew.

She, Tony and Steve were sat in silence around the table of the control room. Fury was standing a few feet away with his hands leaning on the table while Maria decided to stay back from the conversation. After all the ruckus, Natasha had been able to remove Loki's control over Clint and she ordered herself to stay back until he recovered, so she wasn't around.

"These were in Coulson's jacket," Fury broke the silence, his hands toying with a set of collection cards. His eyes set on Steve. "I guess he never did get you to sign them."

He threw them in the table and (Y/N) was able to see the droplets of blood staining some of them, making her wince. The blood stained the table and all Steve did was grab one and eye it for a long period of time.

"We're dead in the air up here," Fury continued. "Our communications, the location of the Cube, Banner, Thor. . .I got nothing for you."

The two men on either sides of (Y/N) were deadly silent, not daring to utter a word. It was weird for her; they'd been at each other's throats ever since they got here, and now Coulson's death was the reason they decided to step their differences aside.

"I lost my one good eye."

Yeah, because of a Flerken, (Y/N) answered in her mind, knowing fully well that this wasn't the time to point that out. She placed her hands on the table and fiddled with the cuffs of her jacket.

"Maybe I had that coming."

You were bothering the cat, (Y/N) continued her replies inside her head.

"Yes, we were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract," Fury confessed, walking away from his spot to walk around the long table. "I never put all my chips on that number, though, because I was planning something even riskier."

"There was an idea, Vaughn knows this, called the Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, to see if they could become something more. To see if they could work together when we needed them to, to fight the battles that we never could."

(Y/N) concentrated on what he had said, and a thought came into her head. She had stayed back with Fury all this time in case of an emergency, and this was exactly the case. If she and the others couldn't fight Loki off, who else will?

"Phil Coulson died still believing in that idea," he leaned his elbows on a chair. "In heroes."

Tony abruptly stood up from the chair he was sitting on and looked forward with a blank stare. It seemed like he didn't want to hear more or grief Coulson any longer, and he walked away.

"Well, it's an old-fashioned notion."

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰ ───

(Y/N) left the control room and didn't have nowhere else to go; she wasn't sure if Clint had already woken up but she didn't want to bother him, and everything else was so quiet around the helicarrier that it was driving her toward the edge. She thought of going inside her small room on the farthest side of the helicarrier, but her plan was abruptly interrupted when a hand grabbed her by the wrist.

She was pulled into the room where Loki had been contained, the missing cell leaving a wide open space in the area. There was a blasted hole on the wall from a firearm, one that had been held by Coulson in his dying breath.

"What the — " she questioned, and she turned back around to see that it was Tony. He looked shaken up and pale, like he was struggling on what to say. That was a first. "You look like you're gonna throw up, are you okay?"

She knew that Coulson's death had struck a nerve with him since he knew him well too, but he shook his head in response before clearing his throat. "Yeah. It's nothing. Ever since I got here, I've been over the edge so I want to check something."

(Y/N) frowned but exhaled a long breath, encouraging him to continue with his nonsense.

"Can I look at your jacket?"

"Why?"

"Just — if I'm wrong, we're gonna pretend like this didn't happen and go back to annoying the hell out of each other."

"Fine."

(Y/N) was still hesitant about this, knowing fully well how clumsy he could be, and she didn't want him to damage the only part of her past and easy life. Tony took it from her hands and inspected it, grabbing it by the collar and then focused on the washed up badges in it. He squinted his eyes to try and read what it said, his irises flickering through the faded letters S, A, R, and K, along with the I, D, and T at the bottom. When he realized, his entire face lit up.

"Oh, my God," he breathed out. He read out again to confirm that he wasn't hallucinating. The badge read Stark Industries, just like it did all that time ago. "Where did you get it?"

(Y/N) looked over his shoulder at what he was looking at in the jacket, and her eyes widened when she hadn't realized it was there the whole time. What did this mean?

When (Y/N) didn't answer, Tony continued. "I gave it to Rambeau since I couldn't bare to have it with me."

"You. . .you knew Maria Rambeau?" was the first thing that escaped her lips, and she mentally slapped herself because of it.

Suddenly, a thought came into her head. That night, when Monica had returned the jackets to her and Carol before departing, Maria had told her something that she completely dismissed; 'An old friend of yours gave it to me after the crash'. Was he —? She didn't want to believe it. He was the old friend.

He nodded. "She was the one who broke the news."

"The news. . ." she trailed off, her mind flashing several images of that fateful day.

(Y/N) looked up and was able to see how Tony's entire demeanor changed, and honestly, it was terrifying to see. That same face that is used to snapping a sarcastic remark that would make her roll her eyes was now staring at her like she just discovered fire.

He cleared his throat and strengthened his posture. "They didn't want to tell me anything after what happened. Said that the black box got destroyed in the crash."

Thousands of questions swarmed through Tony's head, all at the same time. He shook his head and eyed her up and down. "What happened?"

(Y/N) internally winced at the faint memories. The ghost of that chip implanted in the back of her neck, the lies from the Kree, the way she had no idea of who she was and now, apparently, still doesn't know. "A lot."

Tony's eyes were still on her, and she thought about saying something about it when she was suddenly brought into an embrace by no other than the same man that was standing in front of her a few seconds ago. (Y/N) didn't know how to respond and stood frozen for a second before returning the gesture with hesitance.

"This is weird," he muttered.

"Really weird," she shared the sentiment.

He pulled away but didn't seem to regret his past action, he shifted his weight in the heels of his feet and gave her the smirk she wanted to slap out of his face just a day ago, now, she found it bearable.

The sound of footsteps caught their attention, and the two turned around at the source of the sound to find Steve climbing up the small set of stairs before leaning on the metal edge.

His blue eyes stared at the two with curiosity. "Am I interrupting something?"

(Y/N) and Tony looked at each other, and a small smirk popped in the latter's face while his eyes were still on her, before he immediately dropped it after receiving a scolding glare from her.

"Don't worry about it, Cap," (Y/N) cleared her throat and acted like nothing happened, even though she felt like screaming internally.

Steve believed this and he gave the pair a solemn look before speaking again. "Was he married?"

"No," Tony was the one that answered this time.   "There was a cellist, I think."

"I'm sorry," Steve shared his condolences. "He seemed like a good man."

"He was an idiot."

"Why? For believing?"

"For taking on Loki alone."

"He was doing his job."

Tony scoffed. "He was out of his league. He should have waited. He should have — "

Tony moved away from his spot and tried to avoid meeting Steve's eyes, but the captain simply followed him around with his gaze, trying to talk to him.

"Sometimes there isn't a way out, Tony."

Tony shook his head in disbelief. "Right, I've heard that before."

"Is this the first time you lost a soldier?"

"We are not soldiers," the genius snapped. He realized what he did and tried to regain his cool. "I'm not marching to Fury's fife."

"Neither am I," Steve agreed. "He's got the same blood on his hands that Loki does. No offense."

(Y/N) realized that he was saying the last part towards her and she shrugged. "None taken."

Steve took this as a sign to continue. "But right now, we got to put that behind us and get this done. Loki needs a power source. If we can put together a list — "

Tony's eyes trailed down to the wall on his side, the lowest part of it being stained with the copper red color of Coulson's blood. "He made it personal."

"That's not the point," Steve tried to reason.

"That is the point. That's Loki's point," Tony began to catch up with something.  "He hit us all right where we live. Why?"

"To tear us apart?"

"Yeah, divide an conquer is great, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? That's what he wants," Tony explained. "He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience."

He began to walk away again, passing right by Steve and (Y/N), and this time, he climbed up the other small set of stairs to look down on the pair.

"Right. I caught his act in Stuttgart," Steve stated, letting his broad arms fall from their position on his chest.

"Yeah, that's just previews. This is opening night," Tony emphasized. "And Loki, he's a full-tilt diva, right? He wants flowers, he wants parades. He wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered — "

(Y/N) saw how the realization hit him instantly, watching how Tony's eyes widened when he realized what Loki's big plan was.

"Son of a bitch."

truth is out! i hope i didn't write tony too ooc, but i really hope i did him justice since i know he can be serious when the situation calls for it.

-see you soon, bex