Episode: Season 2 - What Is and What Should Never Be Pt. 3

I went back to the couch, drinking more of my beer. I watched the news after that and I found out that all those people Sam and I had saved had perished. All thanks to me not being a hunter anymore. I went to track the djinn then and Sam showed up, insisting he come along to help even though he'd never hunted before. I begrudgingly allowed him to go and we set off. We showed up at a warehouse and the djinn was there, making me hallucinate.

Mom and Jessica at first and then lastly Parker... She kissed me and I let myself melt into it for a split second before pulling away. She gazed up into my eyes then.

"We can have a future together. Have our own family," she told me softly and I sighed, feeling tears spring to my eyes at having to leave this behind.

But I knew I had to. I couldn't stay here. It wasn't real.

"I love you, Dean. Please," Parker pleaded with me and I bit my lip to stop the flow of tears.

I looked at them all and shook my head.

"I'm sorry..." I breathed out shakily before plunging the knife I held in my hands into my stomach.

I let out a groan. Sam cried out as the blood spurted from the wound, soaking my clothes red.

"Dean!" he called out desperately, "Dean, wake up!"

"Dean, wake up, you dirt-bag!" Parker hissed.

Parker's POV:

Dean's eyes fluttered open then and he smiled slightly at Sam.

"Oh, Auntie Em. There's no place like home," he slurred and I rolled my eyes as Sam and I helped him down from where he'd been strung up by the djinn.

Sam let out a sigh, "Thank goodness. I thought I lost you there for a second,"

"You almost did..." Dean said quietly and I frowned.

We unbound Dean then and he killed the djinn. We saved a girl it had held hostage, too before heading back to the motel. Sam and Dean sat on their beds while I sat across from them in a chair by the desk.

"How about you? You all right?" Sam asked him and he nodded.

"Yeah, I'm all right. You should've seen it, Sam. Our lives. You were such a wimp," Dean told him and Sam laughed.

"So we didn't get along, then, huh?" he asked and Dean shook his head.

"No..." Dean trailed off.

"I thought it was supposed to be this perfect fantasy-" Sam started but Dean cut him off.

"It wasn't. It was just a wish," he confessed, "Yeah, I wished for Mom to live. If Mom never died, we never went hunting. And you and me just never, uh - you know..."

"Yeah," Sam said softly, understanding, "Well, I'm glad we do. And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. Most people wouldn't have had the strength. They would have stayed,"

"Yeah, lucky me," Dean said as he got up to lean against the dresser, "I gotta tell you, though, man. You had Jess. Mom was gonna have grandkids..."

"I even had something good. With someone...someone never in my life I would've dreamed of being with," he confessed, his eyes flicking to me with an intensity that shocked me although I didn't get the meaning behind it, "But I realized it was all I'd ever wanted..."

"Yeah, but, Dean, it wasn't real," Sam reminded him.

"I know. But I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so bad," Dean admitted and I frowned, feeling his pain.

"I mean, ever since Dad...all I-all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much. And we-we've sacrificed so much-" he started.

"-but people are alive because of you. It's worth it, Dean. It is. It's not fair. And, you know, it hurts but it's worth it." Sam cut him off and Dean nodded in understanding.

Dean's candy apple green eyes met mine and the way he looked at me... I'd never seen him look at me that way before. Never once in all of these 17 years had he ever looked at me like that. I couldn't even place what the emotion hidden in those eyes even was. But it made me wonder just what he saw in that dream. Just what had been his wish.