VALENTINA

"I care, I care, I care, like ribbons in your hair. My stomach's all in knots, you got the one thing that I want."

. . .

It's pretty obvious what Alessandro and I have been doing. His hair is all messed up from my running my hands through them. Our lips are swollen from kissing, we look flushed and his pants are untucked.

Dante takes a step back as if he was slapped across the face.

His eyes go back from Alessandro to me, taking in our guilt-stricken expressions.

And for the first time, I see my best friend's eyes darken and his jaw set.

"What the fuck is going on here?" His voice is ice cold when he speaks.

But that doesn't seem to frighten Alessandro as much as it frightens me.

"Well, we just fucked as you can guess, and..."

Dante's eyes cut to me, and I don't recognize the best friend I've had since I was eight. He looks... scary.

I never see him being angry.

"How long have you two been lying to me?"

"We weren't lying..." I try to soothe.

"Cut the bullshit," he snaps. "You've been fucking my twin brother behind my back. How long?"

"A while," I bring out. "It just happened."

I can't read Dante's emotions in his eyes. But I know he's hurt. I know he feels betrayed.

And when his eyes move to Alessandro's, there's pain in them.

"You disgust me," he says, his eyes hardening.

When they move back to me, I feel my breath being punched away from me.

He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to.

I know he's disappointed in me. And knowing he's feeling so betrayed because of me is worse than anything else.

He slams the door back shut in our faces and then we hear footsteps walking away.

When I retreat further into the room, Alessandro catches me in his arms and lets me fall against his body.

The tears spring to my eyes and my hands start shaking.

"D-Did you see how he looked a-at us?" I ask him, a tremble in my voice.

"Val..." he murmurs. "I know. But it's going to be okay, baby."

I shake my head but say nothing else. I can't get Dante's face out of my mind, and my heart is slowly breaking.

Alessandro quickly finishes adjusting his clothes so he looks presentable and takes my hand.

"Let's get out of here, what do you say?"

"It's my mom's birthday party. She won't let me," I answer, and swallow back the tears. This evening couldn't have gone any worse.

Alessandro leans in and brushes his lips over mine. "She doesn't have to know. Come on, let's go get some ice cream."

He pulls me out of the room and down the hallway, but we don't make it that far on our way to the front door as we're stopped by a voice calling out to us.

"Alessandro!"

We turn around, and for the cherry on top, his parents are coming over toward us.

"Dante just stormed out of here," Aurora says with a frown on her face. Riccardo's arm is wrapped around her as they approach her, pulling her close to him.

"What happened? Did you fight?" she asks her son, a frown marring both her and her husband's faces.

I remain silent, not knowing what to say and whether or not to tell the truth.

Alessandro makes that decision for me.

"He found us both in her father's study," he says and nods his head to me. He doesn't elaborate, and I'm thankful for that.

I don't want his parents to have a visual of us two fucking.

Aurora's eyes switch between the two of us, and it doesn't take a second for it to sink in with her.

She turns toward her husband. "I told you."

"You guys knew?" I gape.

Aurora scoffs.

"Of course, we knew. You guys are like a sappy romance novel."

"It'd be enemies to lovers," Riccardo adds. "I've been reading up on that trope."

"This is ridiculous," Alessandro mutters.

I stand there, speechless. I guess we weren't as subtle as we thought. Or maybe too easy to read.

"And Dante found out," Aurora concludes, nodding. "He'll come around. He just needs some adjusting to the idea."

"You don't know how mad he was," I tell her and feel my lower lip quivering. "I've never seen him like this."

"I know he can have quite the temper," Aurora tells me. "But trust me, he'll calm down."

Aurora and Riccardo's reaction to my being with Alessandro isn't as unsettling, and it's kind of funny how they saw it happening already.

"I really, really hope so," I sigh and bite my lip to stop it from trembling.

"Go," Aurora tells us quietly and gives us a nod. "I'll cover for you if your mother asks us where you are."

Without thinking twice about it, I throw my arms around her.

"Thank you," I whisper. Her arms come around me and the tight hold she's got on me has a lump forming in my throat.

"I'm so happy he finally found you," she whispers and presses a gentle kiss on my temple.

"Now, go!" she shoos us away, and Alessandro and I don't need to be told twice. He takes my hand in mine and we both exit my house. 

"Where do you want to go?" he asks when we're in his car.

"Your room," I sigh. "I just want to be with you, Alessandro. In your room. I want to relax."

"You read my mind," he grins softly.

Alessandro and I drive home in silence. I'm all in my head about what just happened. Dante's car isn't in the garage when we get there, and I wonder where he took off to when he stormed off.

"My mom is right, you know," he says when we get out. "Dante will come around. He doesn't get angry often, and when he does, he cools down pretty quickly."

"But what if this time is different?" I ask. I press the button for the elevator and after a few seconds, the doors open and we get in.

"He caught his twin brother and best friend together, Alessandro," I frown and let him take me in his arms. "We've been lying to him for so long."

"Give him a few days," he tells me, and I can't believe how calm he's being about this.

When we get into his home, it feels weird to walk in, not knowing where Dante is while he's so angry.

"Can I stay the night?" I ask quietly.

"You shouldn't even ask, baby," he says and nods. "Of course."

We both go up to his room and get undressed. It feels domestic, and I like it. I slip into one of his shirts and watch him put everything away in his room.

"You're quiet," Alessandro says, looking at me sitting cross-legged on his bed.

I'm nervously playing with my fingers and tugging at my hair, anxiety gnawing away at me. My heart is going a thousand miles per hour. I don't know where Dante is. He might've gone back to his place. Or maybe he's come back, holed up in his room.

Running into him seems terrifying, and it's obvious he needs some time to process everything. I know I'm the last person he wants to talk to.

"What's wrong?" Alessandro asks and sits next to me on his bed. He takes my hands in his and starts to rub them, running his fingers over mine.

It helps calm me down a bit.

"I..." I begin and inhale. "Dante was supposed to go with me to a cousin's party this weekend," I tell him. "And now I know he won't be going with me. Not in this state."

Alessandro frowns.

"You needed him to go with you to this party?"

My throat clams up. "Y-Yeah. It's from my dad's side of the family. And... my f-father will be there too."

My dad only has one sibling who lives in New York, his brother, and now we're on our way to celebrate his son's tenth birthday.

Ever since Dad left, my uncle has reached out to me over the years and has been as present as he can be in my and Martina's lives.

I'm holding the gift in my hands, a Lego set wrapped up and with a bow on top.

"I'm right here," Alessandro tells me and presses a kiss on top of my head. His hand is resting on my lower back when we get to the door and I reach out to ring the bell.

Not much later, the door is opened and I see my uncle standing there, greeting me with a smile.

"Valentina! Come in," he smiles and greets me with a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

"Dante...?" he trails off, frowning as he eyes Alessandro. Even though the twins share their faces, they cannot differ more when it comes to the rest.

"The twin," Alessandro smiles kindly and reaches out his hand to shake my uncle's.

I hear a lot of noise coming from the living room and I know the house is already booming with guests. I'm proven right when we walk further into the house and see everyone sitting at the table. I don't spot my father, so he has to be running late.

My uncle told me that my father had confirmed to be here when he invited me to come over. And unlike my sister, I didn't let that deter me. I won't let his presence affect me.

With Alessandro right behind me, I greet all my other distant relatives before placing the gift with the others and taking a seat.

As soon as we're sitting down, Alessandro places a hand on my knee and squeezes me.

My uncle's wife immediately asks us if we'd like something to drink and to take away from all the food that's presented.

"You okay?" Alessandro asks me quietly amidst all the chattering of the people around us.

I nod and hope that my smile is convincing. But I can't control my nerves. I feel like throwing up, and looking at all the food is making it worse.

I have conversations with a few people, catching up and telling them what I've been up to. I hate family gatherings, they always get so awkward, and I'm trying my best to keep a smile on my face.

Alessandro is making conversation too, being polite, and engaging with the people around us.

At some point, I turn toward him and poke him in the side.

He pauses mid-sentence and turns to look at me, a smirk stretching across his face.

"Want some attention, sweetheart?"

I nod, and can't help a stupid grin from coming on my face when he brushes his thumb against my cheek.

"So, you're telling me you would've dragged my twin brother to this party instead of me?" he asks and tilts his head to the side.

"Dante knew about this for a few weeks now and he said it wasn't a question whether or not he'd be coming along," I say, and try to fight the sadness that seeps inside of me at the mention of my best friend.

Who's not here with me.

"Screw him," he tells me, like he's reading my thoughts. "I know my brother. He'll come around and talk to us when he's ready."

"We hurt him, Alessandro," I whisper and frown. "Really hurt him."

He swallows and nods as if he realizes it too. "I know. And we'll apologize, but I won't be sorry for being with you, baby."

"I'm not sorry, either," I tell him.

His hand slides to the back of my head and he brings me closer to press a gentle kiss on my forehead.

The words 'I love you' almost slip out, but I swallow them back. I kiss his cheek and hope the words are poured into them.

"Thank you for being here with me," I whisper.

He leans back to look at me, his fingers sliding down to my neck where he plays with my hair.

"There's not a thing I wouldn't do for you, sweetheart."

I take his hand and bring it up to my lips, brushing them against his knuckles.

"I'd do anything for you, too," I say, and I mean every word.

The loud squeal of my cousin interrupts our little moment, and I can't help but chuckle when I see the ten-year-old running through the living room in a cape and spandex.

"Presentsssss!" he demands with a toothy grin and claps his hands excitedly when he's handed the first box.

"Okay, I need to use the restroom," Alessandro tells me and tugs at my hand. "Mind showing me where it is?"

"Of course," I grin and get up from the chair, pulling him with me into the hallway.

Down the hallway, I pause by the door and motion to it.

"Right he–" I get interrupted by Alessandro when he tips my chin up and lowers his lips to mine.

The doorbell rings, but I don't pay any mind to it as Alessandro presses soft and gentle kisses on my lips.

For one blissful minute, the rest of the world disappears. My family fades away, the thought of an angry Dante in the back of my mind vanishes, and the constant anxiety and pressure on my chest is lifted.

Because of this man right in front of me.

"Thank you," he smiles against my lips.

"I feel like I should be thanking you," I whisper and press our foreheads together. His hands cup my cheeks and he rubs his fingers back and forth.

"If your family weren't in the next room, I'd fuck you against the wall."

I blush at his words and watch him close the door behind him, leaving me with an image of me pressed against it while he fucks me into an orgasm.

Shaking my head, I turn around and make my way back to the living room.

I exit the hallway but completely stop in my steps when I see him in the living room. My heart stops beating for a second before picking up its pace.

My dad is looking down at his stepdaughter, wearing the same smile he reserved for me.

A sour taste settles in my mouth and my heart feels like it's being squeezed together.

When he looks up, our eyes meet and I'm stunned into silence when I find that familiar warmth in them.

Because I remember him holding me when I was younger, always hugging me, ruffling up my hair, and sending me the warmest of smiles while I felt so safe in his company.

"Valentina," he says, and his warm voice cuts through me like a knife.

I can't get a word out, not even when he walks over toward me. He reaches his hands out, to take mine or hug me, I don't know.

But I take a step back either way.

"Ling?" he asks, a frown coming on his face.

As if he's entitled to call me that endearment after leaving me. As if he's allowed to be confused if I don't want him near me.

I let out a soft breath of relief when I feel another presence behind me, and my dad's attention is taken away from me when he spots Alessandro behind me.

"Alessandro!" my dad says, surprise in his voice to spot him here. At least he can keep the twins apart.

"It's been so long," he continues. "Is Dante here, too?"

"Just me, sir," Alessandro answers. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him.

My dad notices that and looks back at me. He's not stupid and by the look on his face, he has some questions.

Before he can ask them, a little girl runs up to his side and tugs at his jacket.

"Daddy, I want some of that cake!"

The pleasant and serene face I'm trying to keep on my face falters and I retreat more into Alessandro.

At least my father had the decency to not bring his current wife to this party, but seeing him with a girl that's not even his daughter still hurts.

"Yes, honey, the cake will be brought out soon," he tells her and rubs her cheek affectionately.

I look at the girl whom I've seen a handful of times, each time with more resentment.

She's just a little girl, yet the envy I feel for her is all-consuming and all I can think about is how this isn't fucking fair.

I know she didn't take him from me, but the child in me cries for her father and I feel disgusted with myself for even feeling a fraction of the hatred that goes on inside of me.

She looks up at him with the same adoration as I used to have. Like he's her hero. Like he holds all the answers in the world and can save her from anything.

It's like watching a replacement of myself.

It makes me sick.

She makes me sick. My father makes me sick.

"Let's go," I whisper to Alessandro and take his hand in mine, quite tightly. We go back to our previous seats and I keep an eye on my dad as he and his new daughter sit at the other side of the table.

His new daughter. His not-damaged daughter. The daughter that doesn't remind him of his trauma.

"I think it's best if we leave," comes Alessandro's low voice from beside me.

His eyes are already on me when I look at him.

"But they're cutting the cake now," I frown, yet a part of me is thankful that he's suggesting it.

"We can take some home, baby," he assures me and squeezes my hand. "I just think it's best if we leave now."

"Let's just stay a few more minutes," I insist, and although he doesn't look too happy about it, he agrees.

We all sing Happy Birthday and watch as the little kid blows out all the candles, smiling wide when we start to clap and chant for him.

I watch as Michelle, my step-sister, is sitting on my father's lap and singing excitedly.

When our eyes meet, I don't see any malice in hers. There's no evilness and I realize I can't fault her for existing.

She even smiles at me, and the corner of my lip twitches in an effort to mirror her face.

My stomach is in knots and I'm feeling too sick to even accept a plate of cake, so I politely decline. Alessandro does the same and takes my hand.

"Let's go," he whispers.

I nod and amidst all the people talking to each other, I get up from my chair and approach my uncle, who demands I take home some cake when I tell him we're leaving.

"Help yourself, Valentina," he says. "There's enough cake. You should come over more often," he continues, the edges around his eyes softening.

I nod and give him a hug, before going to the kitchen and doing as he said.

"I'll be back," I tell Alessandro. "Give me a few minutes and wait here."

He looks a little lost when I leave him sitting on the chair, and I have to bite back chuckles when I go to the kitchen.

Once there, I'm putting some of the cake away in containers, thankful to get away from all the commotion in the living room.

And truthfully, thankful to get away from my father.

Though, that luck doesn't last long.

"Valentina."

I freeze in my spot at first. Then, I turn around and spot my dad entering the kitchen. I keep my eyes on him as he places a few plates on the table.

"Hey," I bring out quietly, feeling my hands turn clammy.

"It's been a while since we last talked. How have you been, ling?"

"'Been a while'?" I repeat and narrow my eyes. 

The sudden anger I feel has taken me by surprise but is coming in a force. 

"Aside from the occasional text every few months, you haven't called. You could try to reach out, you know?"

Shame coats his features, and he nods. "I know. Work has been busy and... I know I should've tried harder."

He could've tried to get over his trauma and still be my dad. Still be in my life.

"How's... how's your mother?" he asks, sincerity in his voice and eyes.

He can go fuck himself.

"I don't see how that's your business," I whisper and swallow. "And I don't see how you care about any of that, either."

"I always care, Vale," he tells me and takes another step toward me. "I'd give my life for you."

"And yet you left," I choke out and try to compose myself.

My cousin's birthday party isn't the right place to have this conversation.

"I know, ling, and I'm sorry," he breathes, a pained expression covering his face. His eyes drift up to the side of my head, where my wound and band-aid used to be after the accident.

A tortured expression comes on his face. And he looks back into my eyes.

"I keep tabs on you, you know," he says, his eyes soft as always when he looks at me. "I know you're doing extremely well in school. You're growing into a young woman, Valentina. My beautiful little girl."

Stop it.

He takes my hands in his and I nearly collapse when I feel the warmth, the comfort that floods through my body feels like a betrayal.

The urge to fall into his arms feels like a knife aimed at my mother.

Yet, I don't let go.

"I'm proud of you, Valentina. Of where you are in your life. You're so much more than what I ever could've dreamed of."

Those words move my heart. I've wanted to hear this for so long. I want to curl up into his arms and sob and let him chase away all the monsters.

But that isn't my reality anymore.

I'm sure my eyes are red and filled to the brim with tears, but I keep them at bay. Instead, I rip my hands away from his grip and take a step back.

"I hate you," I whisper, and it's the sad truth.

I hate him for leaving me, for finding another family. For having another daughter. For leaving me all alone.

For making me fall into a pit of misery as I cried myself to sleep every night. For making me feel like I'm the only person on Earth, never having felt so alone. 

Yet, I'm not alone, am I? My mother has never left my side. She's worked her ass off to take care of me and my sister.

My mother will always have my back, no matter how much hurt and pain there has flown between us.

With those being the last words said between us, I take the containers and flee the kitchen.

Alessandro doesn't say anything and immediately gets up, taking our coats and putting them on. All I can think of is escaping this house, and getting away from my father.

You're so much more than what I ever could've dreamed of.

Those words haunt me until we reach Alessandro's car, where I fully break down in his arms. 

. . .

I know it's been a while since I've updated. I moved into a dorm for the first time and that has been some adjusting and getting used to, but I'm loving that uni life. 

You should all thank my dear friend Sam for bugging me to update. 

I didn't mean to leave y'all hanging with the cliffhanger, lmao. 

This chapter is kinda bad and I'll prolly get around to editing it. (i feel like i always say this but never do)

Anyway, here's an update! Hope you enjoyed it.

Thank you so much for reading. 

I love you ♡