Gavi had always known there was something 'off ' about him; even as a young boy he couldn't understand why his mates would drool over long blonde hair with pink ribbons, lips coated in shiny gloss or petite bodies in tight dresses. He never found an inkling of interest in the desires and fantasies  they would verbalize. He just thought he was too unbothered by anything other than football; too focused.

He did however come to discover  his sexuality in the summer of 2018; he was only 14 and yet he realised right away what his feelings dictated.

There was a new member in their team that year who had been promoted from the U13 to the U15.  He had immediately caught Gavi's attention with his wide innocent green eyes and curly blonde hair. He politely introduced himself to the older teammates with a shy smile; timid and careful with his words; hoping to impress the new teammates . Pablo had felt his breathing grow unsteady at the sight of him, this boy in front of him looked like one blessed by the Goddess of beauty, Aphrodite herself. Even the way the sunlight reflected and bounced off his shiny blonde curls,  looked like it formed a circular ray of light around, making him even more unrealistic.His ears completely blocked off anything the boy said, the only thing he managed to catch was a name, "Oscar"...

He initially dismissed it as the obvious fact that the boy younger than him was simply too ethereal, infact even the other boys had commented on how handsome he was, so Gavi somehow managed to ignore his feelings and gave it a different interpretation.

However, as much as he tried to get away from the bright eyed boy, it only seemed to have an opposite effect as they got significantly closer than the others; sticking to each other throughout the season and with Oscar being only a year younger than him, they shared literally everything with each other.

They had spent countless moments after late evening practices, lying on the grounds of La Masia staring up at the sky as it changed from a dark blue to matte black with twinkling stars appearing one by one. They talked about their fears, the stress and pressure of being a La Masia product; the immense and almost too heavy hopes their parents placed on their young shoulders but most importantly, their dreams; dreams of one day making it big...

And so his feelings only grew with time, to a point that he couldn't even deny it anymore. Yet he kept it hidden from all his family and teammates out of fear of what might happen if they ever found out. Ansu was the only one he told..

He'd come so close to confessing to the boy on so many occasions, but he didn't... He couldn't. And so he accepted the friendship that came with it but never allowed the blossoming feelings of something warm, dare he say love, to appear, he was just so young, and so scared ...

When people say life is fleeting ... it couldn't be any more true. Cause Pablo got the news that he'd been promoted to the first team at just 17, at a time when they had least expected to be so brutally torn apart like this. That evening, as orange hues lit up the beautiful city of Barcelona they cried tears of genuine happiness as they held each other close in the comfort and secrecy of Gavi's room, but a strange bitterness filled their hearts with a cruel and crippling hold that only seemed to grow around them and so they held each other a little tighter, a little longer, neither of them wanting to let go.

Gavi had never in his wildest dreams thought that being promoted to the main team would leave an almost unwelcome ache in his heart...

As they parted ways, they had made promises to not let anything tear them apart, that they'd be just as close as they'd always been. What lies those were ...

***

Gavi dreaded training more than ever with how things had been going on between the older and him for the past few weeks.

They tried to maintain a cordial relationship; wishing each other in the mornings, acknowledging each other's presence in the locker rooms or tunnels before matches and even light chatters on matches and skills.

Although the first few days after the younger's confession and the simultaneous rejection, Gavi had straight up ignored the older's advances in everyway possible; not even looking in the direction of Pedri. This behaviour however earned them curious glances from teammates and everyone involved, even the press got a hint of the current stalemate in their friendship, publishing articles after articles in a span of just  three days.

So now, they tried to atleast look normal just so they don't ruin the atmosphere of the team; but somehow, the strange cloud of awkwardness prevailed  thick in the air, so much that it was almost suffocating for the younger.

If it was upto Gavi, he'd never attend training again. He wanted to run away; away from Pedri but especially from the memory of how he'd laid himself bare and vulnerable for the older in every way possible; both physical and emotional... And how the older had so blatantly rejected him .

He knew he had no one to blame but himself, falling for someone he was involved in a 'friends with benefits' arrangement with, but it was inevitable and so he went for it, only to be hurt; this too was inevitable...

They obviously didn't visit each other anymore, their only time spent together were in the training or matches, and that too, they tried to keep it as minimal as possible. They didn't even partner up for certain exercises in training for which they'd always pick each other; which was strange even to Xavi, who tried his best  not to probe into his players' personal lives.

Gavi felt drained and tired, more so than ever. His entire routine consisted of waking up only a few minutes before training, rushing to the shower; barely ever eating anything in the morning, then after training he would just come back home and lay in his couch watching something on Netflix with occasionally a dinner if he was interested before going off to bed. Ofcourse, he would lay sleepless in bed for hours after.

He had stopped attending the post match clubbing with the rest of the team, mostly keeping to himself. Barely a few days ago in the locker room, he heard Ferran say something about Pedri bringing Sienna and how most of the team was shocked to see them together again.

Gavi had wanted to break down right then and there, he'd immediately felt his throat go dry and painful, his heart clenched simply entertaining the thought of Pedri with someone else and he wanted to scream at Pedro for moving on so fast... But ‘move on' from what exactly? Was he ever even caught up with the younger to have to actually ‘move on'?? Maybe not...

So, tonight was not any different... Gavi was mulling over his tragic life as he laid on his couch with the flashing tv screen being the only source of light in the dark living area. He was not really watching the show, his head was occupied with some other things, more specifically, someone else.

He was startled by his phone buzzing with a call.

"Hey, Ansu ... What's up? Everything okay?" He couldn't help but worry about his bestfriend calling at such an unusual hour.

"Everything's fine , Pablo... But you know what's not?"

"What?"

"You..." Ansu deadpanned.

"Bro... Where did you get that from? I'm as good as ever!" He tried faking enthusiasm.

"No, Pablo... You're not ok. You've distanced yourself from me; from all of us and it doesn't help that you've lost so much weight! So I'm coming over right now, also, I'm bringing dinner cause I'm sure you haven't eaten . And then you're going to tell me everything thats been going on."

Pablo sighed aloud at his words before muttering a 'fine' and cutting the line.

Great.... Now he had to prepare himself to come clean to Ansu; there was no running away anymore. He was too guilty, too exhausted to keep it any longer.

Ansu barged into his appartment after a few minutes with a huge takeout bag in his arms. He immediately didn't coax Gavi into talking but rather sat him down by the kitchen island while opening up the food packages one by one, telling him to eat up as though he was going to regain all lost weight in one sitting.

The older simply watched Gavi devour the food he brought while bringing up miscellaneous topics never even once mentioning the part where the younger had to tell him everything. Gavi loved that about Ansu; how he knew every single detail about what the younger felt without him having to bring it up.

Finally  Gavi finished his dinner and they made their way to the couch as per usual.

"So..." Ansu inquired, " you ready to tell me what's been going on?"

The younger suddenly sat up; his fingers fiddling with each other, his eyes downcast at the thought of all the lies he had told him in the past few months.

"A lot has happened, Ansu.." he groaned, his hands rubbing his face in frustration... Why was this so hard?

"I don't even know where to begin" he continued.

"Right from the start, Gavi. Relax, take your time... I'll be right here."

"You'll hate me so much... "

"Hey" the older suddenly sat up, placing his hand on the younger's shoulder, " there's nothing in the world that can make me hate you..."

"But Ansu, I hid so much from you... I'm so sorry "

"Pablo, don't apologise... You have the right to keep your own life private and I'm your best friend but I'll still always respect your space. So please, now if you're ready... and only if... Tell me everything. "

And so, as they sat in the quite of the night, Gavi revealed all that had been hidden from him for the past few months. The younger's voice almost breaking along the way, he frantically wiped his tears not holding them back, it was Ansu afterall, the one person he didn't have to hide his feelings from... As the younger told him everything that went down he felt like he was reliving every moment, every second; he ended sobbing with his face buried in his hands .

Ansu quickly pulled him into a hug, making the younger rest his head on his chest as he gently stroked his soft hair soothingly.

"Pablito.... Hey... It's okay, Pedri's a dick anyway. Don't cry over him..." Ansu spoke slowly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you from the start" Gavi sniffed as he wiped the stray tears.

"I told you already, I'm not mad Pablo... You have a right to your own life."

"But what the heck.." Ansu continued with a frustrated tone, " I can't believe Pedri fucking treated you like that, I might end up breaking his face the next time I see him..."

"Ansu... Please don't do anything. I'm so done with everything that's been going on lately, I don't need my two teammates fighting over what's already done and over..."

"If you say so..." He hummed, placing a delicate kiss on top of the younger's head.

"Let's just pretend like it never happened." Gavi sighed.

"Exactly" Ansu said suddenly eyes gleaming with what seemed like mischief, "YOU are going to pretend like it never happened, like he never mattered. The last few days, with all your depressed and sad boy bullshit , losing weight and what not, you only proved further to him how much he meant to you.. but no, now you're done torturing yourself, my friend. We're gonna make him regret in every way possible..." He finished with a  villainous smile .

"Ansu... You're scaring me. What are you even thinking?" Gavi's eyes widened in realisation, he already had an idea what the older was planning, Ansu loved revenge more than anything...

"You'll see..." He smiled.

****

Pedri dropped his bag to the floor as he entered his bedroom, falling face first into his bed. He groaned, at nothing specifically he was just so tired and.... upset?

It was true that he had been trying to rekindle his relationship with Sienna lately. The pair had started to go on dates, spending time together, hell.... Pedri had even brought her to an afterparty with the team.

He didn't even know why he was doing this; actually he did.

That night; the last time he'd had Gavi in his bed,  he felt something... something different, something new... And that feeling was so warm and felt so right within him, he couldn't help but grow fond of it. He wanted to keep the younger close to him forever; bound to noone else but him. Later when he realised that the feeling had actually been something along the lines of love, he'd immediately wanted to push the boy away.

He couldn't do this.... Their careers would be over in the blink of an eye if anyone ever found out. And he couldn't have that. Not for himself. Not for Gavi....

Pedri could already see the articles on the news, the weird stares from teammates and rivals, he could hear the loud screams of insults the fans would hurl at them as they walked out onto the field... Everything that they had worked so hard for all their lives would be over , just like that...

So when he walked out on the younger he knew he'd done the right thing... the right thing.

Perhaps Gavi was too young to understand, or maybe it was because he'd never really seen life outside Barcelona and La Masia. He had never known what it felt like to be a nobody, to have no supporters, no fans, no hopes for greatness... Pedri had seen it all,, he knew that neither of them were ready to face what would come next if they were ever found out. So ofcourse, it was the right thing... wasn't it?

He tried to move on from Gavi, he really did... But then he'd get into his car and wait without a thought as though the younger would suddenly rush into the passenger seat. He'd walk into his appartment, look at his empty couch and suddenly feel the pang at his chest for not seeing the familiar figure lying on it. The kitchen didn't have the beautiful boy sitting by the huge tiled island and that'd make him lose appetite. He'd enter his bedroom and the younger wasn't there to keep him warm throughout the night , he wasn't there...

Oh... How many nights he'd spent with his thumb hovering over the younger's contact, feeling the sudden urge to call him; tell him he couldn't sleep without hearing his voice, tell him he missed every single atom of him. His own girlfriend's messages would be left unread on the same phone; he'd find excuses the next day to tell her he fell asleep. But only he knew how he held the younger's old hoodie close to him as he took in the  nostalgic scent, the only source of warmth and comfort in the cold night.

He thought it'd be easy to fall for Sienna again, he'd done it before, he'll do it again. But only later did he realise that the only reason he'd fallen for her was because he hadn't met Gavi ‘before' and now all he could think about was the younger ; everything led back to him.

On his recent date with Sienna, he had spent the whole time at the restaurant wondering what food the younger would've ordered if he'd been there. He would've loved the salmon sushi and the chocolate dessert, maybe the Americano would've been a tad bit bitter for him so he'd get his favourite caramel latte with frosting on top, claiming it took the drink to the next level. Pedri could see the younger pouting when the order took too long, brown eyes frowning as he looked out the window to see people passing by the street, going about their day.

The younger losing weight and developing dark circles around his eyes hadn't gone unnoticed by the older, Pedri hated himself for being the cause of it. He really wanted to make it all okay... He really did. Atleast for the sake of the younger. But he couldn't.

He wished he could love the younger without fearing what the world would say, infact he wanted to give him the world. But he was so scared of what would happen to them if he did. He knew he was a coward for fearing the uncertain future.

He who dares not to grasp the thorn, should never crave the rose.

A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry I just disappeared like that for the past few days..😭😭😭 I'm currently giving my exams so I'm trying to focus on that.

Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! 💞
Do like and comment if you have the time..💖