"tu hai to mujhe
phir aur kya chahiye"

ISHAN

I was waiting for a call for the last one hour. Today the squad of T20 world cup is to be declared. Even if I was not their first choice, being in the squad means you can have a chance of playing atleast one two games. As soon as the clock struck 2, I couldn't control myself anymore.

I picked the phone that was lying in front of me and dialled Shubi's number.

Ishan: "Shubi tereko call aaya?"
Shub: "Ishu check WhatsApp"
Ishan: "Kya huya hai?"
Shub: "tu dekh na"

I hastily opened the ICT group chat. The squad had already been declared. I checked the list but my name was nowhere to be found. They had selected Abhishek Sharma instead. Shubman had got selected in the reserved players.

Shub: "Ishu?"
Ishan: "Hmm?"
Shub: "Tu theek hai?"
Ishan: "Haan Bhai. Congratulations baby!"
Shub: "You don't need to hide your disappointment"
Ishan: "I'm genuinely happy for you"
Shub: "I know that but..."
Ishan: "No buts. Baad mein baat karenge haan. Tu enjoy kar"

I cut the phone. Yes I was definitely very happy for Shubi but.. my form in IPL was quite good. I hoped that I would be atleast picked for the squad. I could see my career being destroyed. I don't want to live as an underdog on whom people would share reels after they retire.

Firstly I was removed from the central contract and now this?

Kya galat kya kar raha hu mai?

This was hurting too bad. I had full hopes that I would be selected in the squad.

My phone beeped and I hastily looked at the notification, with hopes that there might be some changes in the squad. But no, it was Rishab's message.

For a moment I felt like deleting all my social media and isolate myself.

I don't want to be in this world that is so cruel to me

My painful thoughts were broken by Janhavi.

"Ishan ji? Kya baat hai?" she asked softly.

"Wo waisi koi..." I got interrupted by her.

"You can tell me you know!" she said rather sternly.

I looked down, unable to face her. What would she think if she knows that her husband is a looser. There will be no chance of her cancelling the divorce. Why would she stay with a looser, nobody wants to after all.

"Ishan ji aap bolenge ya main Shubman ko call karu? Aapki aakhein bhar aayi hai mujhe please batayiye" she said in a pleading tone.

She dropped on the sofa beside me, keeping a hand on my thighs, quite reluctantly. Her warm touch made me feel better somehow, gave me the courage to voice my feelings.

"Ja.. janhavi, you won't leave me after hearing it right? I asked, my tone etched with nervousness.

"What? You murdered someone or what?"she asked , trying to make me laugh.

"Aaj T20 world cup ka squad declare huya... I'm..I'm not picked. It was a really important part of my career." I said, my voice choked with emotion.

JANHAVI

As I watched tears pore down Ishan ji's eyes, my heart sank. I could see the pain in his eyes, the weight of unfulfilled dreams bearing down on him like a heavy burden.

"Ishan ji," I began softly, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

He looked up at me, his eyes glistening with tears. "It's okay, Janhavi," he said, his voice full of sarcasm. "I should be used to this by now."

But even as he spoke the words, I could see the hurt etched into every line of his face. This wasn't just another setback – it was a blow to his very soul, a reminder of all the times he had been overlooked and underestimated.

"Ishan ji, you're an incredible cricketer," I said earnestly, my voice filled with conviction. "Don't let this define you. You have so much talent, so much potential. This is just a setback, not the end of your journey."

But my words seemed to fall on deaf ears as Ishan's shoulders slumped, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I don't know, Janhavi," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe... maybe I'm just not enough for this world anymore."

His words pierced through me like a dagger, filling me with a sense of helplessness. How could someone as talented and passionate as Ishan ji ever doubt himself like this? How will I cheer him up?

"Ishan ji, listen to me," I said firmly, gently lifting his chin so that our eyes met.

It took a lot of reluctance but I did.

"You are not defined by the decisions of others. You are so much more than that. And no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you."

For a moment, Ishan looked at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability.

"You will be always be there for me?" He asked, in a innocent and tearful voice.

I nodded.

I don't know why did I say that, we will get separated by the end of this week.

And then, without warning, he broke down, his face burried in the crook of my neck, shaking with silent sobs as the weight of his disappointment crashed over him like a tidal wave.

Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close and offering whatever comfort I could. I could feel his tears wetting the collar of my kurti.

After a while, he puller away. After debating with myself for a while, I slowly wiped off the tears on his face. The tears didn't suit his cheerful face.

I had spent a large part of my life crying out on my pillow, and hiding my tears. That's why I hate when someone cries.

"I think you should go somewhere. It can cheer you up! I suggested him.

"Me? You won't come?" he asked, disappointment clear on his face.

"Umm Ishan ji, we are getting separated next week. Would it do any good to your public image if we are papped together somehow?"

"I simply don't care" he shrugged.

I agreed to him, thinking that I shouldn't leave him alone in such a state.

"We could go to a club, I would love some alcohol and loud music right now" he said excitedly.

The word club brought the memories of the photos of Ishan ji and Aditi. They were reeling through my head. The words of Aditi that Ishan ji also had... with random girls came to my mind.

"Are you okay Janhavi?" The voice of him brought me back to senses.

"You can go Ishan ji, I'm not going to the club." I said.

But what if he haves sex with random girls?
How does it matter to me?

"I think you should give it a shot. Everything needs a first try right? It won't hurt. And I would be there with you!" He assured.

I looked at him, unsure.

But then the fact that he might have sex with other girls poked me.

But he's married right now, he won't do anything like that.
But what if he does?
I should go.
To spy on him?
Stop overthinking!

"Okay Ishan ji I'll go" I nodded

Guys I hope Ishan is selected for the squad for T20 world. This is just for the sake of the plot.