ALESSANDRO'S POV

We made it back home last night past midnight. We spent the previous days doing the same routine over and over, breakfast, beach, Armando whining, Adriano spitting his wise words every hour. I bumped into Martine a few more times and you may ask how, turns out she's one of the Moretti siblings's best friends. I was invited to dinner the following day of meeting Leonardo, the entire family was there and welcomed me. I had to sit down and listen to their conversations for hours when I got a call from Dante and excused myself for an emergency.

Emilion got himself into a lot of trouble one night at the bar. Apparently he got too drunk and told the security he is seventeen. We had to convince them that the six foot man standing beside us is twenty five and can legally drink. He got us in so much trouble that night and the rest of them. They all took turns to cause chaos day by day. It was a whole mess but I must admit, I did enjoy myself.

I came back home to not much work, at this point we've prepared everything. Our men are training with their new equipment, shipments are cut off and business is quiet. Akila is gone which may slow down a few things since this is her idea, I can't contact her through a phone or emails. I think she does have a phone but not for texting, I believe all she has is machines, weapons, objects to help her work and that's it. No entertainment, no breaks nor procrastinating, she just works constantly non-stop. A hardworking badass living among us.

I always thought I'm passionate about my job, my company and my major until I met Akila. I used to think so many things, so differently and weirdly now. She didn't just change my perspective on falling in love, she changed and showed me so many things in life I haven't yet discovered. It's becoming weird and almost unknown what it felt like back then. I've said this before and I still stand by it, every day, month and year are slowly getting blurry as time passes. Not the memories, not the past but the pain. The feeling of loneliness and trappedness, it's fading away, the marks, the scars they left behind are getting less visible day by day. They're far, they're distant and walking away for the first time in my life. All the worry, all the thoughts and hesitations in my old self are vanishing, I seem unable to remember what it feels like, what it did to me day and night.

And I think, I would like to think and I'm sure it's because of her.

She's the only reason, she's the only strike that hit me deeply and suddenly. She came into my world and made it her own, she developed in it and unintentionally seduced me into liking it, and loving her.

It's not her fault, if anyone it's mine. But I like to say it was never a mistake to begin with. Falling in love is never a mistake, it's never a failure from the other side. It's not a bad fall, it's not always a fall that will pain you, that will only hurt and crush you. Sometimes, sometimes and very rarely, there's people out there, there's someone, this one person you could fall onto and they would catch you, they would hold you back up and wait for you to fall again, over and over again.

And sometimes love is bitter, sometimes you fall and hit the ground, your walls crumble and turn into dust. It's not the idea of falling in love that's scary, it's the act of falling and not finding the person standing behind you, to save you, to protect you with all they've got.

I am lucky enough in this universe to experience love in the most beautiful right way possible. I am lucky enough to have her, lucky enough to get to hold her hand, to kiss her and call her mine.

I'm too lucky it doubts me but I keep going because I would rather doubt my whole existence a million times than walk away from her.

I close my laptop and pull the screen down. At the same very moment, Armando walks into my office. "Good evening sunshine" he greets me with a cheeky smile and stands in front of my desk. "What" I ask him coldly even though I'm feeling nothing but warmth right now. It really gets hard to hide it. One of the things I had to live through and deal with since she showed up in my life is to hide my soft side for her which is becoming difficult to keep in. I'm not ashamed of it, I'm not questioning my figure in front of my men if I treat her like the center of my existence because she is yet I want it to be between me and her, it's our own private thing she only gets to see.

"Let me correct that. Good evening coldman" I roll my eyes and cock my head for an answer. "Oh well it's nothing much, just came to annoy you and tell you how Enzo and Mrs Santoro are on their way here and that today I trained abs and I'm so hungry I might pass out"

"They're what?" I push myself up and slam my fist on the desk. "Oh yeah, I thought you wouldn't notice that" he scratches the back of his head and stands awkwardly. "When did you receive this information" my mind is spinning around the room, why would he show up, he never shows up.

"A minute and twenty seven seconds ago" I take a deep breath in and run my fingers through my hair, "twenty eight seconds" my eyes snap at him and I glare for him to leave. "Sorry" he says as he walks out of the door and closes it.

I genuinely have no energy for him, especially with my mother witnessing this. He must know, he must know what Vicente is up to, he knows it all. He knows who Akila is, he knows where she comes from and who's family she belongs to. He knew and wanted her dead before any of this happened.

Enzo would have never in a thousand years guessed I would stand by her side, I would leave my own father and fight for her but it's too bad because I did guess in the past six years he would one day stop at nothing if he has to kill me.

And now we're at war. Our healthy father son relationship is pushed aside, the excuses he used to shut me up with are no longer suitable, are no longer available nor effective. He's left with nothing from me, they got him wrapped around their hands and he's following like the idiot he is. He has never been a smart guy, an intelligent leader who cares about anything else aside from money.

He's a fool, they will all fall and regret. They will meet in hell and wish for another chance and I will get there, I will arrive and enter the gates proudly, re-acting my favorite scene for an eternity as we burn.

I storm out of the office and walk in rage down the hallways. I knock the door open and grab the pistol on my nightstand, if I have to shoot the father who taught me every big and small thing about weapons, torture and horrible leading methods then I will.

It doesn't seem hard anymore, it's not making me second guess myself and decision. I'm ready for this, I'm looking forward to it and it shouldn't be that way. He's my father, he's my mothers husband and the only man in her life after me. I would take that away today, I would unalive him with my own hands and leave his body lifeless. I would hear my mother cry and sob, maybe blame me, maybe not. You could never be certain how a person would react once they're hit, once you take away the only thing they survive on, their special addiction that no one touches but them.

No matter who that person is to you, your sibling or mother, it will dig a hole, it will leave a mark, a memory that will never be forgotten. And I'm fine with that, I'm all of a sudden chill and accepting it widely as if it's a welcoming warm hug.

Maybe it's my inner child screaming excitement, he's jumping up and down, finally happy to escape the man who caused him fear and insecurities, the man who was supposed to love him yet ran over him like a useless broken toy.

Maybe it's my inner child screaming and asking me to kill him, to shoot him, to hit him as he once did to my mother. The images are clear as crystals, the memory never left and I never want it to leave. I was twelve when I found out my filthy disgusting father has been laying a hand on my mother once in a while and she hid from me for the longest time until the world wanted me to find out, so I did.

I broke apart, I collected the pieces and stuck them together for my mother. It happened too quickly, too fast and rushed. I shot him in the right arm that day, the arm he was using to hit her. He didn't shout, he didn't stop in pain, he stopped to look at me, to stare into my eyes and let reality spread around us.

It was the first time I challenged him, I wanted to fight him and stand in his way because no one, no one will breathe on this planet and lay a harmful finger on my mother.

My mother, the kindhearted woman who deserved more, who deserved so much the world could never give. I watched him hurt her, my eyes were glued to the scene, they were stuck and I couldn't control myself. He didn't take me seriously, he counted me as nothing, just a little boy who's sensitive, who's too emotional for getting touched by this.

He made a deal with me, to never hurt my mother again unless I follow him, unless I do and take his orders with my mouth shut. And I accepted.

What else would I've done? I knew he was the one in charge and wouldn't hesitate to kill me so I took it. I bit on my tongue and clenched my jaw but took it, I had to, for my mother, for me and our future.

I don't regret not killing him that day because I would have killed myself in the process but I will regret today if he attempted the slightest matter and I let him. I won't hold back, I'm no longer the twelve years old boy trembling in fear, I'm the man who will take the demons back to hell.

I load my pistol and shove it in my side holster. I didn't waste a minute and walked out of the room when I heard a doorbell. Show time.

I made it down the stairs in seconds, the maid had already opened the doors and there stood the figure of my father, dressed in a dark gray suit and next to him was my mother with a soft defeated smile.

His eyes land on me and set on fire, he lets go of my mother's grip on him and advances. He gets into my face and look me in disgust, in shame and anger. A look I've gotten used to throughout the years.

"What the hell do you think you're doing" he shouts in my face and shakes, he shivers out of control, out of sanity and temper. "You're an idiot. You're thinking with you heart, with your stupid emotions I should have set an end to a while ago. You're following a woman, you're taking orders from a woman that shouldn't even exist, a woman that should've gotten killed once she opened her hazel eyes, her eyes you can't get enough of, her dreamy eyes that fooled you, that tricked you into thinking you can go against us, against me. Why can't you understand Alessandro, why can't you see what is truly happening around your clueless ass. She's out there doing whatever, she never tells you where she's going and where she's coming from, how could you trust her, how could you let her do all of this and do nothing. How could you let her do whatever she wants when she's supposed to be yours"

A step closer. "She may be watching us, she may be pointing a sniper at your heart right now, the heart that fell so badly for her, your pathetic heart that drove you out of your mind. Wake up and open your eyes, stop using hers and be a man. She is nothing Alessandro. She is an illusion you've created in your head, to escape and build hope when there's none. She was meant to be dead. She was meant to be nothing"

He stops and chuckles. "You know, I've always told Gerardo not to do it, I had you with me that day, do you remember Alessandro?" His question gets into my head and breaks things down. "You were only two and half years old. Teresa desperately wanted a child and Vicente wanted a leader. Teresa ended up having her kid but Vicente didn't get his leader, he got a girl, a useless baby who will only cause trouble, the trouble we're in right now, the trouble you're in because of her tricks and lies you believed. You let your own guard down for her, you disobeyed and disrespected your grandparents for her? For a female everyone hates, everyone craves her death, a female that brings chaos, that tears families apart and manipulates you. Your uncontrollable feelings for her made you break apart, the most powerful ruthless Italian mafia leader is now hiding behind a woman, waiting for her command and eating her pussy for treat"

My mother gasps and calls for his name. His eyes are fixed on mine, his lungs are failing him word by word. "It's my fault. It's my fault and I will admit it unlike you. I should have killed her, I should have ended her soul when she was young and dull because she was already dead" he waits and whispers, "She was already ruined from what Vicente had done to her"

"She brainwashed you, she treats you like a dog and claims she loves you. Have you never thought why she planned your great meet up, why she set every step and hid it from you. She said she trusted you, didn't she? Tell me where she is Alessandro. Tell me what she's doing right now and I will back down, I will serve you my head for revenge"

My nails dig into my skin, exposing my flesh and revealing blood. The world falls down, my eyes watch and my body freezes. It's all breaking at once, shattering and dying in a blink of any eye.

"Tell me, son"

The voices are loud in my head, pounding and racing around the small area. They became too loud, too crowded my skull can't take it, it can't hold them back for any longer. My bones crack and scream in agony, in pure fresh pain I've never felt before, in aching I've only felt when she came into my life.

I can't hear him anymore, he's shoving me, he's demanding more words in my face but I'm not there. I'm not standing in front of him, I'm not seeing him, I'm not feeling, I'm not alive.

I'm floating, I'm flying, I'm drowning.

I'm not on the ground, I'm not on earth, I'm not in my body. I'm fading away with a void, I'm blending with air and disappearing. I'm no longer who I am, I am no longer who I was, I no longer know who I am.

There's no world, there's no galaxy and universe. There's no him and me. There's nothing.

You're an idiot. Why can't you understand Alessandro. Wake up and open your eyes. You were two and half years old. Teresa desperately wanted a kid. It's my fault. I will serve you my head for revenge. Tell me, son. Tell me where she is. She brainwashed you. I should have killed her. She was already ruined from what Vicente had done to her. The most powerful ruthless Italian mafia leader is now hiding behind a woman. For a female everyone hates, everyone craves her death. Teresa ended up having her kid but Vicente didn't get his leader. She may be pointing a sniper at your heart right now. How could you trust her. Her hazel eyes, her eyes you can't get enough of, her dreamy eyes that fooled you, that tricked you into thinking you can go against us, against me. I should have set an end to a while ago.

My head spins and falls down. My thoughts speak on top of each other and lose their voice.

She was meant to be dead.

Except for one voice.

She was meant to be nothing.

Hers.

The pistol wraps around my palm, my hand go white and steady. My gaze is blurry, pushing away everything but his figure. His face is clear and bright, lightening up with fire, with red flames, with the color of his blood and mine.

The trigger. The trigger is so close, so near to my touch it's begging me to pull it.

And I planned to, God knows how determined to blow his head up, creating a brutal hole between his green eyes.

The door swung open and slammed shut. Surprisingly, that distracted me for a split second, for a drop of water and a strike of lightning.

Marcello walks in, eyes widened and body shaking. He separate his lips and prepare to talk. His green eyes lodged on my father, his dark gaze shifts on him, his deep forest green eyes, his eyes, my eyes, my father's eyes.

"FATHER"

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