ALESSANDRO'S POV
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The door swung open, only to reveal my dear mother.

She wrapped her arms around me, pushing me into a hug. I held her for a few seconds before she slowly pulled away. "What took you so long"

But I can't.

I can't talk about this to anyone before her. She needs to know first. She deserves to know first.

I sighed and shook my head, and thankfully, my mother understood. She took a step to the side, allowing me to get in. I didn't leave with any suitcases, I thought it would be a long ride back and forth but who knew I would leave for a whole week, I would be breathing the same air as Gerardo and manage not to kill him right where he stood, right where I could have ended all of this.

I stopped myself before the rage reached and caused more trouble. I need to stay calm for this, I need to stay calm for Akila.

My mother walked us to the living room, I believe everyone was asleep, it's past midnight. I threw my body on the coach, I'm tired, so tired I think I might pass out here. It has been exhausting, all of this thinking, my mind wouldn't let me rest for a moment and it's killing me. I'm emotionally drained that I don't know what will awaken me. And I still have a lot to do, so much I don't want to think about it but I have to.

"Everyone is sleeping, you should get some rest, you look tired" my mothers soft voice broke the silence, I looked at her, she held this worried face I never wish to see. I hate worrying my mother, I hate causing her unease because I know how it feels. I know how it feels to love someone so much that by simply not seeing them, it makes you sick, nervous and concerned. It shakes you, even if they did you wrong, even if they hurt you over and over again.

"She's awake" I let the words slip through my mouth as I pushed myself off the coach. I glanced at my mother one last time to see the worry vanish away, replaced with a soft gaze I love to see. My mother is the kindest human being I've ever known, her eyes held the sweetness of her heart and the warmth of her touch. Sometimes I doubt if I deserve her, that I've done so many horrible things where I don't deserve a mother like her, a mother who sacrificed everything for her son, a mother who let her guard down and happiness away to raise a lonely little boy who needed nothing but the embrace of his mother.

She stood up with the same look on her face. We stayed there for a minute or two, I lost count. Neither of us spoke, we just stood there, allowing the silence to speak words louder than we could ever let out. After what felt like hours, my mother tilted her head to the stairs. I gave her a weak smile before rushing to the stairs.

I felt my mothers eyes on me but now, I only wanted to see her. To hold her tightly in my arms and never let go. It has only been a few days, yet it felt like centuries. I felt every second, every minute I had to live without her, I've experience numerous times what it feels like to be away from her, what it feels like to miss every inch of her body, what it feels like to cry out for her presence, her touch. I've seen and felt so many things with her, both painful and heavenly. And it's painful, so painful to stay away from her that it frightened me. It frightened me how it affect me, how such a normal thing gets to me. It's terrifying. Everyday, every moment when I miss her I go far away and think, think what it would be like if she leaves, she disappears but not the way she does, in a way she can't control, in a way neither of us chose.

What it will be like if I lost her, if I lost my only light, my only hope. Because if I lose her, I lose myself.

I can't imagine a world without her, I can't live a world without her. The days before she was in my life are becoming more blurred day by day, they're travelling so far away that I can't reach them. They're slowly fading away into a void where I would never feel them again. She came into my life and flipped it down upside. I thought it was perfect, I had everything, I owned everything but I struggled. No matter how many times I denied it, how many times I ran away from it, the thoughts always caught me. They caught me and tied me up so ruthlessly, with no mercy. No one disturbed me, no one dared to look at me disrespectfully, no one caused me any trouble nor rage, except for myself. I lived the most luxurious life, a life I could have anything I want, anything I wish for. All of this was my surroundings, but in my head, it was a whole other life, a whole other story locked away from the human eyes. I was trapped, prisoned in my own body, by my own thoughts and mind. Some days the thoughts were light and easy, some days it was pure torture. An endless place, so empty yet full of wonders and fear. A horrifying place where I couldn't escape, where I couldn't find anything, anyone to pull me out, until I found her.

She lights up the darkness that has been living inside of me for years, years I stopped caring to count, years I would trade million years with her. Years I wished she came earlier, years I wished I was in hers longer, longer to pick her up, to catch her, to give her my own self, to give every ounce of my blood and soul to her, only her to use, to push her up when she was down, when she was hurt. Because no matter what I could give her, it will never be enough, enough to give back all she brought to my life, the life she was the only source of, the life I thought was a world we live in and experience, experience so many scary and happy things but it turns out much different, much more disparate, she is the life I've ever needed, she is the life I will be living, she is the life that changed me forever, she is my life.

She is my everything, my first worry and last smile. It feels overwhelming, it makes my heart fill to the max, it's so close to exploding. She brings all these feelings out of my body, feelings I didn't know of, feelings I didn't know existed. It hurts, it hurts my bones, it physically hurts to feel it all at once, to feel her, to be given all of her. It pains me how much I feel for her, it pushes my body to the edge, to the point where I want to break free from my own skin and get closer to her. It's not enough, it's not enough to touch her, to have our skins on top of each other, I want to be in her, with her, in the same body, closer than it's ever possible. I chuckled, not sure if then, it will be enough for me. I will never have enough of her, never into a fantasy world will I finally get enough of her voice, her face, her eyes, her smile, her trace, her move, her coldness, her numbness, her story. Her.

Her. The woman I spent so little with yet got so much of. I've known Venom for six months and Akila for three. Eight months. Eight must be my lucky number.

I smiled brighter, eager to reach her bedroom faster, quicker so I can see her again, so I can assure myself it's real, she's real, she's here and has been waiting for me. But when I stood in her opened door frame, I found no one.

My eyes checked the room over and over again, I wouldn't let my sight lose hope, I wouldn't let my eyes lower in surrender. She's here, she's somewhere, I'm one who can't see her, I'm the one who's unable to, right?

I started to panic as my eyes got heavier, I looked and traced my gaze down every corner of her room, there was nothing. I forced myself out of the frame and rushed down the hallway, she wouldn't, she wouldn't, she wouldn't, she wouldn't. The words repeated in my head a million times, to hold on, just for a bit longer.

I couldn't allow myself to breath until I saw her. I brought my hand to grab the door knob of my bedroom's door when the door flashed open. It was her, it has always been her.

I didn't breath as I promised, I didn't wait nor waste another second, I took her in. My arms found her waist and wrapped themselves around her firmly, strongly, scared she would let go. Her hands fell into place connected behind my neck. If I felt tired earlier, now I'm totally drowning. Drowning into her, I'm not sure if I can hold myself up. My head fell on her bare shoulder, and I breathe. I breathe her, after so long, after what felt like life and death, I breathe her. She's in my lungs, she's in my head, my heart, everywhere. She's everywhere. I've never felt safer, I've never felt calmer yet full of desire and passion. Passion to see her, to feel her, to stay here for the rest of my life, next to her.

Her hands left my neck and reached down my jawline, she lifted my head up and cupped my cheeks with her palms, she held my face up because I couldn't anymore, she looked at me, she looked through me, she saw all of me. The more she fixed her gaze on me, the more her expression fell. She felt my tiredness, she felt the ache in my heart that has been living there for a while. She knows, she knows how it feels, she knows it all.

Her lips pressed into mine, it struck me with energy, with awakeness. it made my body react, to stand straight and dominate her lower neck. Her fingers snuck into my hair and held it carefully. I caressed my hand on her hips slowly, remembering her touch, her skin, remembering and missing this. This feeling. This part of the day that pushed me for another one. This woman who gave me everything without even trying, this woman who owned me, controlled my body and heart. And I've never felt more right about anything, about anyone. I've never trusted this hard, this faithful and it's terrifying, it will always be but when she's here, when she's this close, the terror goes away, the terror she cause and remove. The terror I only wish comes from her and leaves when she strike it away, far away from us where it will be just the two of us, into each other's arms with no worry in the world, with no one expect for us.

I kissed her and I kissed her. I tasted her, I carved her. My mouth went everywhere I could reach, I sucked on every inch and held her in, I held her tightly, I held her on top of my heart where she belongs, where she belongs to me and I belong to her.

She stopped. She pulled away and let her head fall on me. She took a deep breath in as her forehead rested on my chin. I lowered my head and breathed. I breathed in her hair and kissed it. I kissed her so many times until she slowly lifted herself up, she hugged her legs around my waist and buried her face in my neck. I supported her lightweight on my body and stayed there. We stayed there for a while, I kept drawing circles on her back and played with her long soft strands of deep brown hair.

After a few minutes, I moved and kissed the side of her profile. I left kisses down her shoulder, her collarbone, her neck, her jawline, her cheeks, until I met with the pair of burning hazel eyes. Her cold hands now rested behind my ears, still holding into my hair. She played with my short strands of hair compared to hers. Her fingers would send my ears and throat shivering whenever she accidentally touched them. She locked her eyes with mine and took me in. And I thank her, I thank her for being patient with me, I thank her for being here, I thank her for coming back home and finding her where I hoped.

"I missed you" her words caught me off guard, her tender voice moved me around circles before she smiled and everything fell.

I felt drained again, my body felt ten times heavier to stand. I felt weak, weak because of her, weak for her. "Come on, you need to sleep" without having her feet on the ground, she somehow guided both of us to the bed with my legs. I stopped at the edge of the bed when she loosened her grip around my waist and stood on her feet again. She grabbed my arm and turned my body around, she gently pushed me and sat me on the bed. She bent down and looked at me with love and care. I may be hallucinating and making up things now but I would read her eyes anytime and anywhere if she shows the slightest emotions in them. "Get some rest, my love" she told me, my love.

I wanted to smile, I wanted to do many things but my body failed me. She straightened her back and turned around when I held her back. I gripped her arm gently and squeezed my eyes shut, afraid of her disapproval, afraid I might have upset her. She didn't move, she didn't snatch my hand away from her so I slowly opened my eyes. "Stay" I managed to speak, to use the last bit of energy I had. A few seconds passed and my arm lost strength, it fell miserably next to me.

I felt Akila's body hovering over me, she climbed on top of my lap and sat there. I could feel her holding herself up so I don't fully take her weight on mine. But she doesn't know that her weight makes me better and stronger. Her weight is barely anything to me, her body, her on me is what drives me out of my mind, drives me absolutely insane.

"Kiss me" I asked, I begged. I need her in every way possible, I need her body against mine, her lips on mine, everything of hers connected with mine. She didn't fail me, she didn't disappoint me, she never did, she never will.

She charged me up, with her raw kisses, with her transparent heart I could finally see. I could finally know she trusts me with it, she would let me hold it as long as she wishes, as long as she let me.

With the sudden energy filling my body, I rose to my feet and took her with me to the bathroom. I sat her down next to the sink and trapped her between my arms. "What are you doing" she spoke to me softly yet teasingly. "Up" I motioned for her arms and thankfully, she did exactly that. Both her arms were in the air as I reached my hands down to take hold on the end of the shirt she was wearing when I realised it's mine. I patiently pulled the shirt out of her head and threw it across the bathroom. She didn't wear anything underneath it, just a pair of matching bra and underwear. I placed my hands on the sink next to her curves and sighed. "What now?" She challenged me further which encouraged me to do things, things I would rather do then talk about.

I carried both our bodies under the hot water of the shower, I pushed her body on the wall and looked into her eyes. So green. So amber. So mine.

I took the deepest breath my lungs could take, preparing myself to do sinful, sinful things to this woman.

It was past three in the morning when Akila and I finally were able to get out of the shower and head to bed. She layed on her left side, her head rested on one of my arms while the other held her waist against me. It's crazy how we spent hours and hours of just sex yet having her this close to me still turn me on, still tense every single bone in my body.

I could notice my grip tightening around her whenever my body would drift to sleep, I wouldn't let myself let her go.

I know she's awake, feeling my movements and I hate that I might be annoying her. She barely gets any sleep, she deserves to rest a million times more than I do. I started pulling my arm away when she reached and held it closely to her heart. She pressed her lips on the part beneath my thumb and kissed it gently.

My face started to feel warmer and hotter by the second, where's the air when I need it.

"Stop blushing and go to sleep" she said before breaking into giggles she couldn't hold back. I playfully rolled my eyes, knowing she can't see me. "And I feel absolutely comfortable. You take your hand away again and I cut it off" I moved closer to her and snuck my leg in between hers. I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes for sleep to take me away, for dreams to drift me away, a dream of waking up next to her FOREVER.

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