ALESSANDRO'S POV

I woke up on the best side of the bed, only to realise Akila isn't by my side.

I would gladly admit that I felt more worried than disappointed.

I sat up on the bed as my body felt a rush of coldness hit my bare chest. I ran my right hand through my hair gently before my mind took me back to last night.

My lips tried to stop the soft smile forming on them, but the image was so clear in my head that my lips couldn't resist. I sighed loudly, allowing my warm breath to help the coldness I'm feeling. I gazed around the room looking for a clock or anything to figure out what time it was. I know it's nowhere past eight in the morning since the sun is at its best and I usually never wake up past eight.

After a lot of strength to get out of this comfortable bed, my feet found the yet again cold floor. It took me a minute to realise that this is Akila's room, her actual room. My eyes traced down every detail, every small or big thing I could take in about her until they landed on the bed I'm sitting on. She let me in her room, she let me do all of it here, where she feels safe, with me.

I sighed again at the strong feeling of my heart getting heavier and warmer. If I keep going, I think I might pass out. Finally a chuckle escaped my lips and I took a few steps forward. "where are you now" I mumbled to myself as both my hands rested on my hips. I don't know if I should look around or wait for her to come back. But what if she left.

I found my way out of the door and started walking down the hallway in hope to find Akila somewhere. I tried to remember any part of this place from yesterday, however, my mind unsurprisingly disappointed me. I can't really blame my mind when my eyes were the ones who couldn't focus on anything but her.

And I won't even blame my eyes. It was too unreal to be true.

Then it hit me. How did all of this happen in the first place. Questions begin hovering over my mind, left with no answers. Did she set these bombs? But why the hell would she.

I was unsure what to think, what questions should and shouldn't run through my mind. I kept walking, pushing away anything negative my mind could create because I know even if she caused whatever happened yesterday, I'm sure she had a good reason for it. She wouldn't try to hurt me or any of us and that I was the most sure of.

My body brought me to the stairs and I never felt more thankful, I rolled my eyes at how dramatic I am and started heading my way downstairs. As I was half way through the long stairs which seemed like they never end, I heard a really far and thin sound of a cup or something metal moving. And I only hoped for it to be Akila and not some animal that crashed in. In the end, she lives on top of a whole forest. Yeah, you can tell I'm still shocked yet amused by this place and what I've seen from the outside and the inside.

I cleared my throat, shutting away anything I... There was another sigh leaving my lips at my unbelievable self. I got taken away by finally setting my feet back on the floor, I looked both ways not knowing which way to go. Left it is, since she's always there.

And I was right.

After a lot of walking again, the noise of moving came from the kitchen and that's where I found her. She had her back towards me but I know she feels my presence. I took slow steps to mess with her but I failed successfully when she turned around with a playful grin on her face. I smiled innocently and she rolled her eyes and turned back to whatever she was making. I got closer until we were a few inches away, my chest was so close to touch her back as she kept working on something I couldn't yet figure out. I watched from the top of her head, she held dough in her hand and moved it smoothly on the counter touched lightly with flour. She leaned back and finally connected our bodies, she let out a deep breath with her eyes still focused on the dough. I lifted my arms and snuck them under her shirt as they wrapped around her waist. I looked down at her for a moment before reaching my lips on top of her forehead, gently leaving a soft kiss on it. 

She closed her eyes when my lips touched her skin and I held back a smile. When I pulled away, she opened them but this time, she looked straight into my eyes. Her eyes are so clear, so alive-full of desire and amusement.

It's like she felt relaxed and comfortable in my arms which made me feel ten times better. She hesitantly broke our eye contact and went back to the dough winning over me. No, I'm not jealous of dough.

My head leaned forward and I kissed the side of her neck before resting my chin on her collarbone. "You should have stayed in bed and let me make us breakfast," I said in between kisses I left down her collarbone, her neck, her shoulder, anywhere I could reach. "what? you'll cook in your sleep" she said sarcastically which made us both chuckle. "ouch" was the only word I could form right now, words always disappear when she's around, they always leave me hanging and never know how to answer her. She pulled away from my grip and went to the sink. "Now I'm really hurting" I told her, already missing the touch of her body against mine.

She washed her hands and finally turned around, facing me. I took a full look down her body until my eyes found her face again. She had an obvious smirk on her lips that she didn't even try to hide, it's like she knows what's going on my mind and is fully satisfied by the way she makes me feel.

I opened my arms wildly and asked slowly, "can I have a hug" I felt chills running down both my arms as they waited for any kind of response. She walked towards me and let me take her in tightly. I buried my face in her neck and wrapped my arms around her waist as she hugged my neck really hard which made nothing but for my smile to grow bigger. I breathed her in and whispered a thank you, I could feel her smiling from the other side which I can't miss. I pulled away and looked in her eyes as light reflected into them. Then my gaze fell to her lips curled in a smile causing two deep dimples to show on both sides of her cheeks.

I kept my arms around her and kissed one of her dimples before pulling her back into the hug. I can do this all day, for the last breath my lungs can ever take.

"I should really finish these croissants unless you
want us to starve to death" she said slowly pulling away as a quiet groan escaped my lips. "I'm not hungry" I told her in hope she gives me a couple more minutes to breathe her in, but all she did is look up at me with those hazel eyes knowing damn well that I was lying. "You haven't eaten in almost two days Alessandro, and I know you haven't been eating too well last week as well" I could hear worry mixed with disappointment in her voice and it made me want to eat when I'm hungry, full, just never make her feel this or hear her voice in a tone of worry or disappointment because of me. "I'm sorry" that was all I could think of, so I tried to make her feel better or at least forgive me for making her upset.

Her cold hands cupped my cheeks and I know she felt it, our temperature has always been so different, so distance. Whether our hands connect or touch the other's skin, it forms this feeling and then it travels all around our bodies. "It's not your fault" she spoke softly as if these words were the only key to ease any concern that could ever cross my mind, and they are.

Now she completely separated both our bodies and any touch left between us and as she started turning away from me, she stopped, "and always remember, I'll never be upset with you" her lips rose to the corner of her right cheek as her dimple deepened and then she walked a few steps forwards, grabbing the dough and continued working on it.

My gaze fell on the ground and I could feel my cheeks going slightly red as heat rushed into them. God, I mumbled silently to myself and took a deep breath in to slow down whatever is going on with me right now.

"You know it's not very nice not offering help" I heard her tender voice again and all I did was show a grin at her words before reaching her side to now offer help. I stood on her right and tried to follow what she was doing. I know how to cook many things, however, baking or making croissants were never something I attempted to do but I'm glad the first time I did so, she's the one teaching me.

She giggled at my inexperienced self and I couldn't help but smile. I should be offended, yet that isn't the case now. She never smiled nor giggled, in fact she never showed any sign of happiness or sadness, she would only look tired and sleepy in the morning and I knew deep down whenever she was sleepy it wasn't caused by the awaken of her eyes and body after hours of rest. There was something else causing her tired figure which is well hidden all the time, I barely notice it and I only did a countable few times because I feel her tiredness through the hours and hours I couldn't sleep. It made my heart tight thinking she could've been staying up all night, unable to sleep while I did nothing.

I know she sensed my change of emotions, I could feel my body tense as the thoughts took over my mind. What if she stayed up all night thinking about her past, her scars, her....
I didn't want to think of her that way, I know she's a strong woman and won't let these thoughts get into her but the human brain is foolish and never easy to push away its ugly side, the one that takes over your mind, your body, everything.

"Can you be honest with me" the words came out of my mouth with a deep, serious tone. I could feel her eyes on me, trying to figure out the cause of my sudden change and I won't make her wait longer. "Whenever you come out of your room in the morning, looking tired, is it caused by something that shouldn't normally happen" at this point, I didn't know if I wanted to hear an answer. I know she won't lie to me, she either will dismiss the question which I totally respect or she'll answer truthfully.

"You're so smart" she whispered underneath her breath and continued, "and observant" she stopped, raising her arms as they wrapped around my neck again. Our chests crushed into each other until there was no space left for air, I responded by quickly holding her. "and caring" she said, looking deeply into my eyes before crashing her lips on mine.

I kissed her softly with worry running down my spine, she kissed me harder and moved her head smoothly as her tongue reached mine. Her arm wrapped around my neck still and her other hand held my neck then travelled up my jawline, my cheek and my hair. She ran her finger through my hair and held it in her grip gently, making sure she's not hurting me. I breathed deeply in her mouth and my heart felt lighter, I could hear her heartbeat gradually increasing which made me kiss her roughly feeling the need of her burning down my skin, the need to protect her and take away any pain she had ever felt.

I carefully lifted her up and she hugged my hips with both her legs and I sat her down on the counter without breaking the kiss. Her kisses are so wet, cold yet warming and so breathtakingly. Sometimes soft and gentle, sometimes rough and full of desire. My hand found her breast and cupped it underneath the thin layer of clothing she wore. I heard a small moan manage to escape her lips which caused parts of my body to tense as chills followed right behind. I felt my body weaken at every finger tracing down her breast shape, I rubbed my thumb on her hardened nipple and I almost broke the kiss to go somewhere else, almost.

She sucked on my lower lip and pulled her head backwards, still biting into my bottom lip. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes slowly, she leaned back forward and let go of my lip and then she pushed her lips on mine hardly one more time as her hand snuck on the back of my neck before pulling away. She used her hand on my neck to pull me closer, our foreheads touched and rested on each other as we took a moment, allowing our lungs to take in a few breaths.

"Yes, I can't sleep, I don't sleep. I have a sleeping condition, it doesn't allow me to sleep throughout the nights or days" she said, keeping her eyes down, "it's okay though, I got used to it a really long time ago. You never need to worry, I promise" that was the first time she ever promised me something and she has no idea how much I'll value her promises from now on. As if she heard my thoughts, she detached our foreheads and kissed me on the cheek. I grabbed her closer to me and let my head fall on her chest. Both her hands played with my hair as we stayed there in silence. I didn't know what to think nor feel, I know she got this and I know she will be okay but I can't help but feel guilty. I could have at least checked on her any day and at least give her company even though I know she would've rejected it. I chuckled inside and sighed on her. I moved my head higher and rested my left cheek on her shoulder. My lips immediately found her neck, sucking in her cold skin, leaving hot rough kisses on her. After a couple minutes, I finally gathered the strength to pull my lips away from her neck only to find a hickey caused by the evil things my teeth and mouth did to her.

I couldn't help myself, when she's next to me, all I want to do is touch her, kiss her so passionately that she feels how much I want her, how much I need her close to me at all times.

"I know you're trying to make me forget about those croissants and it worked for a moment but now there's no more games" I laughed and she joined me shortly after. I would stop myself whenever she laughed, just to listen to her, admiring how her sound is heavenly to my ears. "Get off of me" she demanded yet I didn't move, "Am I heavy on you?" I asked playfully knowing she might take it as a challenge and let me stay on her for a few more minutes. "Again, I know what you're trying to do. It's not going to work. Now get off" I hide the smile curling up my lips and tired to act upset but I know she wouldn't buy it. I helped her off the counter and walked her where she was before all of this happened. I sneaked my hand up her thin top again and rubbed my hand on her upper hips, "Believe me, it feels good knowing you can't take your hands off me and that you want to stay in my arms all day long and I want to just as much but if I don't feed you then I won't let you get one inch close to me" she spoke confidently, looking straight into my eyes. "That was hot, and terrifying" I responded feeling a bit scared thinking if she would actually not let me touch her, I think I won't be able to live.

So from that moment, I let Akila do the croissants. And of course I tried to help which ended with her telling me to step aside and watch and I sure enjoyed watching every moment of it. After she brushed butter on top of every croissant and set them in the oven, she turned around and let a deep breath out. "I know why you came downstairs in the first place" I titled my head, not sure what she's talking about. "The ball Alessandro, why did I leave, how did I know, did I set these bombs, I know" she said, not allowing any sort of emotions to show. Her face looked empty and numb that I couldn't read anything she could possibly feel. I closed the distance between us but didn't wrap my arms around her as I usually do. "And I know you didn't try to hurt me, I know if you did set those bombs and blew up the place or even blew up my own houses one day, I know you'll have a good reason and I know you don't want to harm me in any way" my words made her back straight and her shoulders rise which showed she is feeling something and I thanked god for it. "What makes you so sure" she asked curiously, maybe not knowing how I got this much confidence. "Because..." I started as my hands finally reached her body, "If you wanted to kill me or put me through any kind of pain, you would have already. We lived under the same roof, my bedroom was never locked. You could've got in there and finished the job, yet you never did. And it's not just that, I trust you Akila, with all I got"

She squeezed her eyes shut and I wanted her to open them badly to see, to see any emotion she's trying to hide under the numbness she's been living in for years and years. But I know she needs time, it's not easy, it's never easy to separate your walls, letting someone in and close them again. As long as she needs, I'll wait until she's ready. If it's my whole lifetime, I'll wait.

"I didn't blow up the ball, I didn't help nor support that person in any way and I'm not explaining this because I feel like you deserve an explanation, I'm doing it for myself" for the millionth time, I should get offended, however, I never did. I nodded and waited for her to continue, "I know who did it and you will soon enough, that's why I left Alessandro. I didn't want to leave you or break whatever we had but I knew I needed to get away and watch from a distance to be able to save you" she paused to take a deep breath and looked into my eyes, "because I'm not losing you"

This woman. God, this woman.

"You never will" I assured her, maybe my words aren't the most realistic yet I'll stay by her side as long as she wants no matter how long and I can swear on that without a glimpse of hesitation running through my body.

"How can I meet that person" I asked, not wanting her to think deeply about losing me. I reached my hand and put a strand of her hair behind her ear before she spoke, "You'll meet him SOON"

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