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In religious belief, particularly in Catholicism, a saint is a person who has lived in a good and holy way. A saint may also be designated as a patron saint of a particular cause, and are seen as protectors.
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a m o r a
As the days wore on, my visits to Angel extended beyond the duties I was laden with. At first, she had only been a dumping ground for my worry-filled thoughts, and if you asked me where it all began, I could not say. But somewhere between convincing her to drink the Amortentia-tinged water and telling her about Erebus, I started to enjoy her company.
I began to visit her during the day under the pretense that I needed to check on her and the baby. I also snuck her things: a peach, a Fizzing Whizzbee, and even small cups of juice that did not contain the dreaded potion. But perhaps the thing that delighted her the most was when I brought my copy of The Wizards' Complete Guide to Galaxies, Constellations, and Moon Phases.
Her face lit up the moment she saw what was under my arm. She flipped the pages, saying she had memorised every single one. I sat by her, listening eagerly as she talked about the constellations and all the myths behind them.
There was one in particular she got choked up about. Ophiuchus, the Serpent Bearer. "Never mind, let's look at Ursa Major," she said quickly, and I did not press further.
The next time, I brought my quill and parchment, and she taught me about the Cosmic Ages and the best way to chart stars.
Inevitably, our conversations moved into personal territory. It started when she asked me about school. I told her it was in my third year when we were interrupted by the Battle of Hogwarts. "And you went home to your family?" she enquired. "Just my mum," I replied.
I told her about my father, how he had left to join Voldemort only to eventually be captured and imprisoned. It felt strange to discuss all this with her, in the best possible way. It was as if I did not belong to a family of Pureblood supremacists. She did not make me feel like I did.
She told me about her parents as well. Her mother had worked in the Ministry, in the very same department she was in now. Her father, from whom her love for Astronomy began. She also told me about Christmases, and how Draco had gifted her the most beautiful set of silver figurines, now displayed on her mantel.
I learned about how he and her had met - in the Astronomy Tower, when he had been tasked with killing Dumbledore, and she had just lost her parents. Their unexpected friendship blossomed into love, and she had left the boy she was with at the time - one Cedric Diggory - to be with him.
My favourite part was when Draco had prepared a date for her in the Astronomy Tower, with a proper dinner and dance. And then he performed a spell I had never heard of before. He created an entire night sky for her, right in the Tower itself. "The stars were dancing, Morie!" she told me with glitter in her eyes. "Lepus, Delphinus, Leo, all of them!"
What was it he had said to her?You told me being close to the sky felt like being close with your parents. If we can't go to the stars, I figured I'd bring them to you instead.
"You must love each other very much," I observed a little jealously.
"Maybe," she agreed, deflatedly. "But that was a long time ago. I have Codrus now. He's the best person for me." She was smiling when she said it, but the fire that had burned so brightly in her eyes just a few moments ago was extinguished.
"Did he tell you that?"
"I loved Draco, but he wasn't good for me," she said, not answering the question. "He was toxic, and I don't think he really loved me."
This made me inexplicably angry. "How can you say that? He's done so much for you!" I argued.
"Does that mean I deserve to be unhappy with him?" she countered. "Sometimes, you think you love someone when in reality, you're only in love with who they once were."
I shook my head in disbelief. She could not possibly mean what she was saying. It was the Amortentia talking.
But Angel's words struck a chord within me. I lay awake in bed that night, turning them over in my mind.
I thought about Erebus, of racing through overgrown fields and lying under the full moon with him. Erebus, of wild thoughts and untamed temper, with his unbridled laughter and stupid promises he made me swear.
And then I realised the memories I clung to were of a childhood we had long left behind. Racing through fields had become a competition on who was better at currying favour, his rambunctiousness had become irrationality, and those promises had decayed when the values we once shared began to diverge.
Maybe I was in love with who he once was. The Erebus I used to know was no more.
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The next morning brought about much sunshine, the garden bathed in a bright warm yellow glow. The house was strangely empty. All the better, I thought. The place was growing too cluttered. Death Eaters milled about at every corner. Codrus would smirk at me, eating his stupid pomegranates, and Lucius would study me keenly every time we were in the same room. Lilith was always hovering around Barnabas, giggling like a schoolgirl at every little thing he said. It was almost impossible to have peace and quiet, so the empty house brought some relief.
The first thing I did was make breakfast for Angel. I stirred honey into the porridge and picked an apple from the fruit basket, placing them all on the tray. Finally, I took down a locked box from the pantry shelf and plucked a vial of Amortentia from its foam inset. I watched the potion mix with the water, transfixed by the pearly smoke-like shapes.
She was in a state of lucidity today, and the still-full glass of water by her bedside told me why. I placed the new tray of food down. "Codrus is going to be back any time soon," I warned.
"I'm going to die, aren't I?"
The empty house made her voice sound louder than ever, and the weight of her question hung in the air as we both paused. Instead of telling the truth, I asked, "what makes you think that?"
"If what you've told me is true, that my baby will... will stop the war, well- Mr. Malfoy won't let me live. It's not that hard to deduce."
"You know, even if you die, Draco can still have another baby. If anything, he's likely to kill Draco than you." I did not know how this careless answer would eventually alter the course of things.
Angel stared at me in stunned silence as she considered the truth of my words. I looked back at her, frozen in horror as I waited for her reaction.
"Why would he?" she drew her head back in surprise. "Draco is his son."
"You don't know Lucius like I do," I said simply. She was looking at me darkly now, a slight narrow of her eyes. "You said you wouldn't hurt him."
"I said I wouldn't. I didn't say anything about Lucius or Codrus." I hastily picked up her tray, already irritated. "Look, Angel," I sighed. "It's unfair of you to ask me such things. I have no power over them. It's just the way things are. You can't just- just... say things and expect them to work out that way!"
"You're wrong," she argued. "You're on the wrong side of things and you know it, Morie. Why won't you fight?"
"You have your friends to do that, don't you?"
"And you aren't my friend?"
"No," I said firmly. "I'm not. So just drink the bloody water and save us both the trouble!" As I turned to leave, she reached for my arm. "Promise me one more thing, then."
"What is it?"
"When it comes down to it, choose Draco over me. Always. No matter what."
I wanted so desperately to pretend I did not know what she meant, but of course I did. Draco had not yet come rushing in with his little group of friends to save her, but it was only a matter of time. There would be a battle here at Malfoy Manor, even before the Third War, and if one of them should die in the end, she wanted it to be her. I wondered how I could promise such a thing, but my mouth moved on its own accord. "Okay."
"Say it."
"If it ever comes down to it - which it won't -, I promise to choose Draco over you."
She released my arm, suddenly looking completely relaxed and at peace. "Then I'll drink a thousand glasses of that water," she smiled.
I left her room feeling cold and scared. We had been told the baby who was destined to stop Lucius would be of his own flesh and blood - the Seer Seraphina Cheng had said so herself. And what better way to prevent it from ever happening than to slaughter his only son?
If there was anything Lucius loved more than his name, it was power. The Malfoy bloodline would never continue after Draco, that much I was sure of.
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I was just coming down the stairs when the sound of tinkling music echoed through the empty halls. I pushed the door to the study and peered in. Erebus sat at the grand piano, his head bent over as his fingers flew across the keys. Despite his explosive nature, he has always had an inclination to classical music.
"I haven't heard you play in a long time."
His head jerked up at my voice, and he smiled. "Morie! How're you?"
"Great," I said, perching myself next to him on the piano chair. "It's nice to finally have the house to myself for once."
"It's nice to have you to myself for once," he murmured, gazing at me softly. My heart gave a little flutter. We haven't been alone since a few weeks ago when he had shown me the new rabbit hutch, and I had almost forgotten how it felt like.
"How's our little birdie?" he asked.
I thought of Angel's warmth and friendliness, how she taught me all she knew with a patience and willingness I had not expected. "You know, she's actually sort of... nice," I said. His fingers graced the keys once more, his body leaning into the pedals. "Gone and made friends with her, have you?"
"Yeah."
Erebus was quiet for a while, the only sounds coming from the piano keys and muted pedal steps. Then his voice cut across the music: "it's best if you don't get too attached to her, you know."
"I like her," I said. "And you know, I think... I think I wanna help her."
"Why?"
"I'm not like them," I affirmed. "And I don't want to be."
"I know," said Erebus. "That's why I like you."
He liked me. I drew in a breath, hopeful. "Erebus, can I tell you something?"
"You already know the answer, Morie," he replied simply.
"I... I don't want to kill the baby."
I expected this to shock him, but he did not seem taken aback at all. "Honestly, I don't either," he admitted. "I mean, even if it is supposed to stop us, it's still... a baby."
I bit my lip to stop from laughing with relief. Perhaps I had been wrong about him after all. He might be brutal and obstinate with the willpower of a whirlwind, but that was only when we were not alone. Between him and me, there was still a semblance of the genuine friendship I thought we had left behind.
Now, there was finally something tangible in this for me. The thought of not only keeping a friend, but earning one after this was over filled me with a macabre sense of excitement. Life after the Third War might not as bleak as I had thought.
"Mr. Rowle and Ms. Rosier."
The music stopped suddenly as we both looked up at the sudden voice. Lucius Malfoy stood at the doorway watching us. He tilted his head, his grey gaze sending a chill down my spine. "Come with me."
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