𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 ; 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐎𝐒

Warning: Drunk Yor

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Slowly, you start regretting your choice of agreeing to come here. Definitely, this is one of the poor choices you ever made in your life.

Minutes before, all of you were enjoying some marinated food and freshly baked garlic bread until that piece shit brought up the topic of their marriage in his drunken state.

And then boom! Madness.

"A kiss!"He shouted tumultuously and you were pretty sure the neighbors from above and the bottom floor could hear it. Probably eavesdropping on the conversation too.

"Sis and Lottie. I want you two to k-k-kiss in front of me!"

The second lesson for tonight:

It seems like this Briar family can't handle their liquor.

And by the look of his sister, you sensed hesitation in her words when her expression turned into horror.

"But Yuri—!"

"No buts, Sis! You two love each other dearly, aren't you? Then you need to give me proof!"

"Well, Lottie– I mean, pfft, Mr. Forger."You corrected yourself, a small laugh accidentally slipped from your lips at the sound of his nickname, making you purse them into a thin line to refrain another one from escaping.

He sends you a sharp look and narrowed his eyes as if yelling at you to not say a word to the higher up about this matter.

Oh, have you ever listened to everything he said?

Yes.

"If you want privacy for your make-out kiss, I volunteered to walk myself out."

You stood up, preparing to leave until—

"Hold on a moment."The little brother stopped you by grabbing your forearm. A disgusted look almost immediately appeared on your face and was washed away as soon as it appeared at his next words.

"You also need to be the audience."

But teasing him is also a part of your personal job.

Your eyes lit up, once upon a blue moon did you ever agree with him. "I don't see the problem!"

"y/n, you—!"

"Ah-ah-ah~ Don't you forget what you need to do right now, Mr. Forger?"You lean against the wall behind while making a camera gesture with your fingers, mocking an action to capture the moment. A lopsided smile now adorned your lips.

"Yes, now kiss!"

"Do we really need to?"Yor shifted her gaze to you, "Especially in front of a guest at that?"

"Don't mind me. Just act as if I'm invisible."You wave her off with a grin.

"But..."

"She's the only blood relative that I have left!"Your teasing smile faltered, the [ color ] eyes glance over to the male next to you as he continues,

"Don't you get it? I've always wished for her to get married and have the happy life that she deserves. But if her husband couldn't even protect her, then what's the point?!"

"And I love Yor as much as you do."You heard Loid say. "Be it a bullet or a nuke, I'll give my life in order to protect her."

The way he said that with a straight face makes you cackle, going as far as turning around from the scene and facing the wall with your body still trembling from making your laughter audible.

This man is a blatant liar.

"Even a nuke? I'm pretty sure I could catch a bullet but a nuke you said?!"

Your poor attempt almost failed miserably as this man over here is plainly half-witted when he is drunk.

"It's easy to say than do it, idiot! Stop wasting our time and kiss already!"

"Well, if you insist."Loid agreed without batting an eye, which makes her and even you, surprised.

"Huh?!"

"Excuse me, L-Loid?!"Yor face is now flushed red, even putting a tomato in shame when he starts inching closer, "H-Hold on a moment, please!"

Her hand reached to the alcohol and gulped down the whole liquor without a single drop left, erstwhile, the image of Yor antecedent crapulent condition surfaced in your mind.

Ah, I ain't dealing this shit again.

"Excuse me but I think I should head back first and buy a train ticket to Hugaria."An innocent smile dances across your lips as you slowly make your way to the door,

"Let's not meet again for the time being."

You would have pulled the knob if it wasn't for a knife that was thrown in your direction and pierced through the wooden door. This place would have become a crime scene if you hadn't dodged it in time.

It looks like it wasn't a harmless threat after all.

"No one is going - hic - anywhere."She hiccups, her words stumbled over as she positioned herself on top of Loid and— why does this look erotic?

"y/n? Are you okay?"Loid asked worriedly, pushing himself up with his elbows to look at you.

"It's okay, Mr. Forger."You reassured him calmly, legs wobbling as you return into the living room, "I'm okay. It's just that my whole life suddenly flashed in front of me."

"Should I ask a doctor to—"He cut off himself in surprise when Yor pushed him back down to the couch.

"Don't move, darling."The female instructed with a stern voice, pushing strands of her black-colored hair behind her ear, "y/n, you better take notes on this."

"For what?!"

"Sis—?!"

"Close your eyes, darling. I'm coming in."

Covering your face, you watch the scene unfolds through your fingers with the color of pink dusted across your face in embarrassment despite you aren't in the situation.

"This is the first time I heard her calling him that."You muttered to yourself. Out of blue, a single lone tear slides down Yuri's cheek which caused you to flinch when he suddenly runs over to the couple with his arm extended out to stop them,

"Look at that hypocrite."You would laugh at the irony if it wasn't for the fact the man was sent across the room with a terrifying speed.

It might be your turn next if you didn't run away now. Before you could plot an escape plan, you broke into a cold sweat when a soft melodic voice appeared from behind,

"Miss Schneider, where do you think you are going?"

"Uh... Heaven?"You forced a laugh as you turned around until you noticed a knife that she is holding in her hand. Her chest vibrates when she starts laughing.

"Awww, I don't know you can crack a joke~!"

"It might not be a joke anymore if you stab me with that."

"But, Miss Schneider~" She slurred. Despite her carefree smile, you couldn't stop the shivers from crawling up to your spine as you followed your instincts and dropped down to your knees in front of her.

"Yes?"Your small voice weakly answered her.

Mom, pick me up, I'm scared.

Oh wait, I forgot she is 6 feet under.

"About Yuri, what do you think of him?"She hummed, twirling the wine-filled glasses between her other fingers and it astoundingly didn't spill a single drop.

Recalling the previous accident that happened to the male, you quickly nodded your head,

"He's a kind and handsome young man who treats his sister like a treasure."

"Really?!?"She threw the knife to the ground when her eyes lit up.

"Yes! Completely! I just know the girl who can have this man is totally lucky!"

"Then congratulations!"

"Yes, congratulations— wait, what?"

"You are the lucky girl, silly!"

"... I have mixed feelings about that."

She picked you up by grabbing your wrist with her free hand and twirls you around with your feet dangling in the air before putting you down, arm wrapped around your shoulder to give you a side hug.

She is giving a true meaning of a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh, Yuri~!"She slurred, nudging his side with her heel. "Wake up, little brother! I found you a bride!"

A what now?

Your and Loid's face turned completely pale and you swore your heard the sound of something cracked from your ribs when the grip she had around you tightened.

Yes, she's definitely going to kill me for sure.

Mom, I'll meet you soon.

Loid, my dearest cousin, this is a—— Is that my blood on the floor?

"Y/N, YOU ARE BLEEDING!"

"Mrs. Forger, I really appreciate your kind gesture but—!"Your throat barely made your voice audible due to the pain and you could taste the metallic on your tongue,

"this could be a new cause of death!"

Loid, now regained his composure, took a deep breath and stepped forward. He always saves you from danger, no matter the mission or the stalkings. This won't be different.

And unlike you, he has a plan.

A great plan, that he learned from the Spy-Wars while accompanying Anya watching the show.

It won't hurt to give it a try.

"Yor, look to me, this isn't you."He calmly spoke. Instead of staring at him in awe as he expected, you gave him a look that he couldn't comprehend.

Why are you looking at him as if he just failed to be a normal human being?

While you, on the other hand, suffering from a secondhand embarrassment. at how the Greatest Westalis Agent making a fool of himself.

' How can he say that embarrassing words with a stoic face? '

"That won't work, Lottie!"You shouted, finally recovering and deciding to erase that memory instead of consoling him about it,

"You are not me!"

"That doesn't matter. I can change her."

"Bruh—"

"I'm trying to save your ass right here!"He retorted, now fully aware that his words are simply foolish. If he isn't in his undercover mission, he is so going to sue this Spy-Wars for staining a name of a spy.

"Yor, let y/n go. She's too young to die. She is also a virgin—."

"Let's NOT bring up that topic!!"

"What a coincidence!"Both you and Loid look at the female with wide eyes when she stifles her giggles with her fingertips. "I am one too."

There was a silence. And awkward silence at that and it stayed for 3 minutes when none of you have any idea what to say to reduce the awkwardness.

"I-I see."You eventually broke the quiet atmosphere with a nervous laugh and gave Loid two thumbs up, giving him your utmost support as his benevolent relative.

"I'm expecting a child in another year, Lottie."

"I hate you."