UNDER MY SKIN

seventeen. mechanical bull

The bar was lively, considering it was the middle of the week. The music was loud, the air a little smokey, the lights low, and Sam smiled as she took it all in. It wasn't just another bar. It was the first bar she had ever gotten into... legally — once she had turned 21.

But she'd been sneaking in since she was sixteen, mostly to see a band she'd been wanting to see. And while everyone in town knew she was underaged, they said nothing of it. They didn't see a reason to, she never drank, she just listened to the music.

It was so familiar, but foreign at the same time. After all, it had been a year since she stepped foot in the bar – or any bar for that matter.

But standing in that bar, with the Big and Rich song playing, the couples dancing on the sawdust floor, and the dim glow of the neon lights, she felt like she was getting another piece of herself back after being so lost for so long.

Tyler looked around before his eyes settled on Sam, and a smile tugged at his lips. Her brown eyes were wide, her smile small, but he could tell just how excited she was. And he couldn't stop his eyes from drifting down her form to her pretty legs... she had some nice damn legs.

"Want a drink?" He asked, his lips close to her ear so she could hear him over the music.

"Yeah," she nodded and they made their way to the bar, she got a beer and he got a water – no way in hell was he driving drunk with her in his truck. He wouldn't risk it.

They settled into a booth next to each other, the cowboy putting his arm around her to keep her close as they talked and watched the people that were dancing. It was surprising that they had anything to talk about, especially after nearly fourteen years but there was never a lull in the conversation.

And after about an hour of near constant conversation and laughs, the music cut out before a rough voice crackled over the intercom, "the mechanical bull ridin' competition will start soon. Longest ride gets $500, remember to sign up." Then the music came back on and Tyler grinned as he looked down at the girl, who was taking a sip of her beer.

She froze, her eyes wide when she saw him looking at her, "what?"

"Have you been cleared to ride broncs?" He asked, his eyebrow raised a little.

She shifted a little in her seat, "I mean, technically, but I just rode Biscuit for the first time yesterday."

"What about a mechanical bull?" He nodded his head towards the fake bull on the other side of the room as people gathered around it, all ready for the show and some ready to try for the prize money.

She swallowed hard, looking at the machine. It wasn't a horse, hell, it wasn't even alive but she was scared. But there was something else inside of her, something that told her to do it. Something that wanted to do it, becuase she knew that if she didn't, she might be scared forever.

"Just a suggestion, you ain't-"

"I want to." She nodded, meeting his eyes. "What is it you say, ride your fears?"

He smiled, leaning in to press his lips against hers, "you got this, baby."

"You gotta ride, too." She told him, a smile tugging at her lips. "Always did love to watch you ride."

"Anything for you." He hummed, brushing his lips against hers again. He couldn't get enough. "Let's go," he pulled back and pushed himself out of the booth, offering his hand to her and once she was on her feet they made their way over towards the bull.

Sam smiled and waved when she saw a few familiar faces, but she stayed close to Tyler. She was nervous and having him there helped, like despite the fact that she was on the verge of a panic attack, havin him next to her, his hand on her hip, helped her breath just a little easier.

Almost like he could feel it, he tugged her closer to him and kissed the top of her head, "breathe, baby."

She let out a breath and leaned into him, letting her eyes fall closed as the first competitor climbed onto the bull, he was thrown in under three seconds. Then a few more people tried, only to get thrown fairly quickly.

Then Tyler's name was called, he sent Sam a wink and made his way towards the bull before throwing his leg over.

It was been a while, but it was like riding a bike. He got sistiated then nodded towards the guy that sat behind the controls. The crowd cheered, clapping their hands, especially when the cowboy was flung about harshly but managed to hold on. But none were louder then Sam, just like back then.

Tyler could hear her over all of the others, and even if this wasn't a real bull, he felt like he had before he quit the rodeo. He felt like he was flying. A wide smile pulled at his lips, and Sam bounched on her toes as she watched him, and just as he reach the six seconds mark, the bull went left before jerking right and the cowboy hit the matt. Still the crowd cheered, clapping him on as the announcer declaered that he was now in first place – no one else had managed to stay on longer then 5 seconds.

Tyler grinned as he pushed himself up, he grabbed his hat then made his way towards Sam as the next rider was called up.

"Oh, baby, that was so sexy." She told him, standing on her toes as she wrapped her arms around his shoulder, he wrapped his arms around her waist, his hat still in his hand.

He rasied an eyebrow, "yeah?"

"Oh, yeah." She nodded, steaching up to press a kiss to his lips. "Such a shame you quit."

"You're never gonna let that go, are ya?"

She titled her head a little, then shook her head, "nope."

He laughed, leaning down to press another kiss to her lips and just as his tongue brushed the seam of her mouth, her name was called. She stiffened up a little, falling back to her heels.

"You can do this, baby." He told her, kissing her forehead. "I believe in you." He placed his hat on her head and she smiled up at him.

"Okay," she mumbled, pulling away from him. The crowd cheered, rasing thier glasses as she made her way towards the mechanical animal. She could hear the murmurs around her, they were all talking about how she had disappered after her accident. But most of them were exctied to see what she could do, even on a fake bull. "I got this." She told herself as she lifted herself onto the bull.

"You got this, baby!" Tyler called out, his hands cupped over his mouth and she smiled over at him.

She adjusted the hat on her head and fixed her hold. For a moment, her body froze, it was all too familiar. She closed her eyes and took a breath, adjusting how she sat a little and she hoped her dress stayed down. She opened her eyes and nodded her head once, then the bull started.

It was slow at first, spinning before stopping and going the other way, then it bucked and spun right, then it jerked left and dipped back down. And each time it jerked a little harder. The onlookers cheered, and the buzz of excitment returned, making the blonde smile and just as she let herself enjoy the ride without thinking too hard about it, it jerked left and she hit the mat with a soft grunt.

"Sam Carter, taking the lead with 6.4 seconds!" The announcer called out as the girl pushed herself up and grabbed Tyler's hat off the matt. "She's gonna be a tough one to beat, ladies and gentleman. Good to see you back, Sam."

She waved at the man with the mic, but her eyes were focused solely on a certian cowboy.

His smile was wide, his eyes crinkled around the edges, and she could see the pride swiming in his green irises, "baby, that was-" she silneced him with a kiss. Her heart pounded in her chest as she held onto him and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in tighter, easily getting lost in her as his hands fisted around her dress, the soft material rising just a little.

She pulled back, her heels hitting the wooden floor, neither caring to watch as the next person was thrown from the bull. Her breathes were a little laboered and she licked her lips as she serched his eyes, "wanna get outta here?"

A wide smile tugged at his lips, "I thought you'd never ask." He kissed her quickly, and with a little giggle from the girl he grabbed her hand and they rushed through the bar and out to his truck, and as they reached it he pulled her into his chest, his lips brushing hers. "Can't wait to get you outta this dress." He mumbled against her and she giggled.

"Well, I do remember discussing a few activities with me in your hat."

"Just my hat." he corrected, and with another hard kiss, he pulled back and opened the passenger side door for her before effortlessly lifting her up into the seat. "Nothing else." He leaned up, her knees on either side of him as he slowly trailed his hands up her thighs. He toyed with the hem of her dress, his nose skimming her jaw, then he kissed the hollow of her throat, "and maybe the boots."

>>>>> • <<<<<

The silence in the truck was thick with tension and need, both breathing heavily at just the thought of what was to come.

Tyler kept one hand on the wheel in a white-kuckled grip, his other hand delicately trailed up Sam's bare thigh. The tips of his fingers brushed the hem of her dress before he pulled them back down towards her knee.

Sam shifted in her seat, trying to rub her thighs together. She couldn't think, could hardly breath properly.

She placed her hand over his, sliding her fingers between his then she lifted his hand. She turned it over and brushed a stop kiss to his palm, smiling as he took a sharp breath.

Her eyes flickered toward him, scanning the side of his face, his broad shoulders, then his forearm – he'd gripped the steering wheel so tight that his veins bulged against the skin and she swallowed thickly.

She wasn't sure she'd ever been so desperate.

He, on other hand, knew he had been that desperate before. Hell, he felt damn near the same way he always felt when he saw her again after a while of long phone calls, FaceTiming and texting.

His hand only tightened around the steering wheel as she kissed his hand again, trailing soft, warm, open-mouthed kisses to his wrist and up his forearm. He was trying to hold on to what little bit of restraint or sanity he had left.

And it was a losing battle.

His jeans had become painfully tight, more so with each soft brush of her lips against his warm skin.

He pressed harder on the gas, swallowed hard and he kept his eyes trained on the road because he knew the second he looked at her, the second he saw the look in her eyes, he'd pull the truck over.

And though that sounded like heaven on earth, he wanted better for her. It was their first time having sex since the accident, over a year, and he wanted – needed it to be special.

He pressed harder on the gas, fishtailing it into the driveway, taking out the mailbox. But neither seemed to care as he parked the truck and shut it off, both jumping from the vehicle immediately.

Then they started towards the house.

It was a mess of giggles, shushes, and stumbling as they made their way into the darkened house – all the lights were out meaning Kate and Cathy were sound asleep. And if it wasn't just a joke, which Sam hoped it hadn't been, both were sporting bright orange ear plugs.

Tyler grinned as he followed behind her, his fingers laced through hers and his hat sat crooked on her head – she looked so damn good in his hat.

"Be quiet, they're gonna hear you." She told him, glancing over her shoulder with a giggle and he rolled his eyes, pulling her back against his chest.

"Your the one-" a rather loud thud cut him off and he hissed under his breath as a pain radiating over his shin.

"Be quiet," she giggled, turning to face him, but they didn't slow down as his hand found her waist.

"That table jumped out at me," he told her, his voice low.

"I'm sure it did," she hummed, stretching up to press a kiss to his lips and he bent his knees a little as he gripped the backs of her thighs.

"Jump," he mumbled against her lips and she happily listened, her feet left the ground and he lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist holding herself up as he laced her fingers through his hair, their lips never parting.

He carried her through the house, towards her room, and when he reached the door he fumbled for the knob, making the girl giggle against him. And once he got it open, he stepped inside and pushed the door closed with the heel of his boot.

He took only a couple steps before his knees hit the bed then he carefully laid her back against the comforter, his hat falling from her head.

He trailed kisses from her lips to her jaw, down her neck and towards her shoulder and just as his lips brushed the sleeve of her dress, the one that had been hiding her scar, she stiffened up, her hands against his chest to keep some kind of distance between them.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He asked, his eyebrows pinched as he searched her face and in her eyes rested the smallest bit of hesitation and panic.

She had been so caught up on the moment — in him — that she had forgotten... he hadn't seen her scars yet. And though they had healed up nicely, they weren't exactly sexy.

At least she didn't think so.

"I-I'm sorry." She mumbled, pushing herself back as she sat up.

Still confused as hell, Tyler sat on the edge of the bed. "You ain't gotta apologize," he told her softly. "Everything okay?"

She smiled at him, absently tugging her sleeve into place to make sure the scar was covered, which he noticed.

"You're perfect," she hated that tears built up, but she blinked them away. "I just... You haven't seen me since the accident and all the surgeries. My body... it looks a little different. I-I got scars."

He leaned towards her, his hand on her cheek as he brushed away a stray tear that has slipped out, "you're beautiful, Sam. Always have been, always will be. A couple of scars ain't gonna change that."

She swallowed hard, shaking her head a little, "you ain't gonna want me when you see them."

"I always want you."

She wrapped her hand around his wrist and pulled his hand from her face, "but you could have any other-"

He silenced her with a kiss, and she helplessly moved her lips against his, her eyes falling closed. He pulled back, resting his forehead against hers as he cupped her cheeks, wiping at her tears.

"You listen to me, and you listen good. I just want you." He spoke each word slowly, making sure she heard him. "Just you."

Her wide teary eyes met his, "what?" Her voice was just barely above a whisper.

"It's been you since you kissed me three years ago." He smiled. "Only you."

She almost couldn't believe it, "y-you haven't-?"

"The only woman I have even thought about for the last three years is in the room with me."

She was speechless.

Her mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out. She wasn't sure what to say, but she knew her chest felt warm. Her heart raced as she searched his green eyes for anything other than sincerity, but all she saw looking back at her was honesty.

And unfiltered love.

He leaned in and kissed her cheek softly, "if you want to stop-"

"No!" She nearly shouted, quite literally throwing herself at him. She firmly molded her lips to his, it was almost harsh, all lips, teeth and tongues as she settled into his lap.

She panted as she pulled back, "I haven't been with anyone else. Just want you."

He grinned, and though he knew it didn't matter, it was the best thing he'd heard in years. He molded his lips against hers before laying her back against the bed, his hands holding him up as she tugged at his hair.

He kissed both of her cheeks, her nose, then her chin and her forehead before he kissed the left side of her neck. Then slowly, a snail's pace slow, he left kisses leading towards her shoulder and when he reached her sleeve he pulled back.

"I'll stop if you want me to."

She swallowed hard, but shook her head. She leaned up, pressing her lips to his, "don't stop."

And that was all the confirmation that he needed, he slowly tugged her sleeve down until her shoulder was exposed. He brushed his finger softly against the scar that ran from the front of her shoulder to the back.

It was a light pink, barely there really. The skin was slightly raised, but it had healed up nicely.

He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the scar and Sam closed her eyes, it was the softest, devastatingly so, touch she'd ever received.

She grabbed his cheeks, pulling his lips back to hers with a fierceness that had him gasping for breath as he worked to undo the buttons of her dress.

And once the garment was open, he leaned back to admire her. She hadn't worn a bra, which drove him crazy. Then his eyes settled on the group of small scars that littered her rib cage – they were from the surgeries to set her ribs that had been broken.

And around them, he could make out a few scars that seemed to be shaped like hoof prints. His eyes followed as he traced every single mark with his finger, but Sam just watched his face.

She was waiting for a look of disgust to cross his face, or to flicker in his eyes. But it hadn't, he looked in awe, almost, but a sadness plagued his eyes when he met her hopeful gaze.

"I was right," he spoke, his voice soft, and she held her breath. "You're perfect."

She could've cried, and maybe she was as she reached for him and he leaned down, meeting her lips against.

"So fucking perfect."

And he hadn't even taken off a single article of clothing before he had her moaning his name like it was some kind of prayer.

And that was only the beginning.