WARNING ⚠️ TRIGGERING SCENES AHEAD!

Dear Reader,

We've all seen or heard about dangers in the world, especially in this country of ours. Occurrences like rape, kidnapping, trafficking and so on are rampant in our society. I was once a victim of rape and here is my story.

I lived with my aunt in Oshodi, Lagos in 2016 after I graduated from secondary school. She had a provision store which was far from the house where she sold on weekends and weekday evenings due to school as she was a teacher in one of the prestigious primary schools in the city.

There was a young man who had a beer parlor just opposite my aunties shop. One thing I noticed about him was the way he flirts around with young girls. Sometimes he goes extreme by groping them which I found nasty.

The people whom I had much pity for were his female workers. From what I observed whenever he was talking to them, he couldnt talk to them without touching them but the poor girls couldn't do anything but watch him helplessly. Some girls had to quit the job while the others couldn't leave because of the handsome salary.

There was a day he came by himself to buy bread from our shop. I was shocked because he would normally get his workers to buy him stuff and go on errands while he sits his butt in his favorite chair. That day he came to buy bread but instead of talking, he kept on looking at me with a flirtatious look in his eye. I felt disgusted by his look.

"Fine girl, I've been seeing you around for some time now, what's your name?" He asked, still staring at me.

I ignored his question instead I replied, "Sir please what do you want to buy?"

"What do you have for me?" He asked, this time around his gaze landing on my breast.

"Please I'm busy, just state your order," I pleaded as looking at his face made me feel disgusted.

He just laughed and said, "Give me bread, three hundred naira own."

I took one Tochil bread from the bread shelf and put it in a polythene bag.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"Yes, I want you." He chuckled.

I glared at him.

"Give me my bread joor," he said and handed me a five hundred naira note.

I opened my bag and brought out two hundred naira change and handed it to him but he nixed the money.

"I dash you." That was all he said and then he left.

Since that day, he never stopped disturbing me, calling me 'fine girl' and all. I don't even know who told him my name but all of a sudden, he began calling my name.

I was oblivious to his plan but somehow suspected something fishy, because he would only come to the shop to buy something when I'm around, but once he sees my aunt he would stay back. I decided to report the matter to my aunty but later decided against it because I thought it was just a normal stuff.

Until...

One night, my aunt couldnt reach the shop as usual cause she was having some symptoms of fever. I decided to lock up late cause a lot of people were still buying stuffs and my friend, Ifemi, was keeping me company.

After locking up, I began walking back home. At a point I began to hear footsteps behind me. Curious to know who it was, I looked back but saw no one and the shops around were closed. My heart began to pound hard against my ribcage. I quickened my pace but it looked like the person also did so. I looked back again but saw no one. This instantly made my legs turn to jelly.

I've heard a lot about witches that operate in this neighborhood around twelve and so I thought it was one of them but then I realized after checking my Nokia phone that it was just a few minutes to ten.

Before I knew what was happening someone covered my nose with a white handkerchief and that was all I remembered.

I jerked up to water being splashed on my face.
"So, you have run finish abi?" I heard a familiar voice say.

"Please who are you?" I asked, my voice coming out in a whimper.

"I'm your nightmare" The voice was a familiar deep and husky voice; I couldn't place the face but the voice sounded very familiar. The kidnapper came out from his shadow and what I saw or who I saw made my jaw drop to the ground.

"Brother Steve," I whispered.

"My baby girl, are you done running?" He smirked devilishly.

"Brother please release me, my aunty would be looking for me," I pleaded, my tears already soaking my white t-shirt.

"Just look at how sexy you are," he said, licking his disgusting black lips.

He came closer and tore my t-shirt, making me scream.

Annoyed by my constant screaming, he covered my mouth with a white handkerchief and brought out a knife, threatening to cut off my throat if I screamed again.

Now faced with the threat of death, I kept quiet and watched as he removed my skirt and panties. Tears ran down the corners of my eyes.

His eyes were full of lust.

"Brother, please," I pleaded again.

His palm collided with my fleshy cheek, making me shout in pain. "When I say shut up, you shut up." The venom in his voice made me shiver. "Now relax and enjoy." He smirked and stood up to remove his trouser, leaving him with just his tight black boxer.

He spread my legs apart, and knowing what he was going to do to me, I began to cry. He looked at me again and slapped me, muffling my tears.
He removed his boxer and positioned my leg on his arm.

I tried to beg but held back to avoid more slapping.
Without hesitation, he pushed himself into me. I screamed in pain, not pleasure, but pure pain as blood flowed down my private part.

Even after seeing the blood, he kept on thrusting violently while enjoying my painful tears.
After satisfying himself, he left me on the floor and left with his clothes on.

I stood up slowly cause of the severe body pain, especially the one between my legs. I endured the pains and left the building. I couldn't believe I had lost my virginity at the age of sixteen , and not even lost it the normal way. I'd planned to keep it till marriage, or at least till I was mature enough.

While walking on the road, I passed out.

I woke up in a bed that was so much like mine. I looked around and recognized the room I was in as my room in my Auntie's house.

The door opened revealing my Auntie, her eyes puffy and red. Turns out she had been crying.

"Chidimma," She called softly.

I didn't answer her, I just looked at her as tears ran down my cheek.

"Who did this to you?" she asked, as she came closer to my bed.

I tried to talk but I couldn't find my voice.

"Don't worry, the doctor said you wouldn't be able to speak for some time due to shock."

I smiled.

"I swear, I'll sue the bastard who did this to you," she said and held my hand.

I pointed at a book and a pen on my reading desk. She understood and brought them for me. I wrote Brother Steven's name on the book and showed her.

"Brother Steven ke, who's that?" She asked.

I was a bit shocked that she didn't know Brother Steven.

I wrote again: The one that runs a bar opposite your shop.

She read it and screamed.

"That bastard, that bastard did this to you, let me call Tofunmi," she said and brought her phone from her pocket.

"Rest, my child" She smiled and left the room while looking for aunty Tofunmi's number on her phone.

Aunty Tofunmi is a police officer.

It's been a week and I've recovered, not completely though but at least I've got my voice back. I told Auntie Nenye and Auntie Tofunmi all that happened, from the day he bought bread from the shop to the rape incident.

My Auntie closed her shop and opened a new one near our house so she could look after me.
I couldn't face the world anymore.

I avoided everyone, my friends, my neighbors and every single person except my Auntie who was always there for me. Sometimes I cry when I'm alone, remembering how I lost my virginity the wrong way.

I couldn't take life anymore; I bought some pills to end my life. I looked at the pills with tears and packed the pills into my mouth...

I couldn't do it. At the verge of ending it, I found reasons not to. It's funny how I can't sleep yet I don't want to wake up. I don't want to die but every breath I take is killing me.

I thought everything would be fine once I told Aunt Nenye and Aunt Tofunmi. They were the adults so they'd have a solution, they'd have my back But days quickly passed by and my story slowly died down. Aunt Tofunmi didn't come to my aunt's house anymore. Aunt Nenye ignored any discussion revolving around me. I thought they were uncomfortable around me till two days later...

I got up from my bed after another sleepless night. I looked around the living room and figured my aunt would be on her way to the shop. I was about to go back to my room when I heard voices in the kitchen.

"Have you reported Mma's case yet?" My aunt asked.

"Nenye, I thought we've talked about this before." I heard Aunt Tofunmi say. "Mma is still a young girl. Reporting the case will bring excessive publicity. The deputy is a show off, he'll definitely involve the press and Mma's life will be open in the eyes of the public. Think about how she'll feel eh."

"What should we do? We can't just keep quiet. Chidimma is expecting us to do something." My aunt said.

"I talked to ma Awele. She said that involving the police is useless. Chidimma's dignity is at stake," Aunt Tofunmi said. "You got married to your husband at seventeen, your ma got married at fifteen and you can't say your first time was consensual too."

"Tofunmi, what are you trying to say?" My aunt said almost in a whisper.

"Let's ask Steve to marry Mma. It'll save both her dignity and shut any other arising gossip."

And just like that I the victim, became the criminal.

Every day and night I could still feel his hands all over my body. The memories turned to nightmares yet, instead of seeking justice, I was to beg the perpetrator for marriage.

Thinking about being in the same house with that monster made me want to swallow those pills all over again. What have I done to deserve this? The misery... the pain.

The very next day was my final turning point.

Aunty Nenye forgot her phone at home. I decided to take it to her because it was necessary in her line of work and I couldn't let her come back all over again just to get the phone. My hands shook as I tried to open the front door.

What will people think of me? Will they blame me? Will they pity me?

I stepped out of the house and I was hit by a strong wave of stigma. The pity in their eyes, the frowns on their lips, the small gestures that made me realize the gravity of what happened.

I quickened my pace and reached my aunt's shop. She could not believe her eyes when she saw me. She quickly shooed me and asked me to go home. That people would "talk".

If only their words brought the justice I craved.

I froze in my steps as I beheld the sight across the street. At that very place was the monster Steve groping yet another girl. She tried to shove him off while he just laughed and held on tighter. People... people just passed them without sparing them a glance and those who did shook their heads and did nothing.

Brother Steve's eyes locked with mine and he gave me a sinister smile. The same one he held on that fateful day. Little by little, I lost touch with my surrounding. I felt like I was floating. My vision blurry and my limbs numb.

"Chidimma!!" I heard someone yell but it sounded like an echo.

I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. I was in the hospital. The nurse attending to me looked at me in pity and so did the doctor who came in a moment later. After some checkups, the doctor left me with the nurse.

"Have you reported to anybody?" The nurse asked and I nodded. "And they didn't do anything?" She added and I nodded once again. Tears welled up in her eyes and she quickly tried to blink them away.

"Do you," she started but she cleared her throat, "Do you know the man that did it?"

"Yes ma," I simply replied. Flashes of brother Steve flooded my mind. His hands... his devilish smile, his voice. I closed my eyes trying to get the images out but it was almost impossible.

Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I gasped for air like a fish out of water and clutched my throat. The nurse rushed out of the ward and came back with the doctor. After a few minutes, I succumbed to sleep.

You know that moment when you are awake yet you don't want to open your eyes. That was what I was facing. My thoughts wandered off to Aunt Tofunmi. The ever-confident police officer who was swallowed by societal norms.

I thought we were supposed to be in the modern age yet ancient norms guided our lives in many ways than one. Even in the face of real problems, these norms took absolute control.

Aunty Nenye said she'd sue him; she'd seek revenge yet she was contemplating on meeting Brother Steve and proposing marriage. I recalled the young girl he was groping today and realized that someone else was going to be a victim. And if I didn't do the right thing, many others would be victims.

I opened my eyes immediately and sat up with a newly found sense of determination. I saw the nurse from earlier checking the drip.

"Aunty." I called out and she turned to me, "Can you take me somewhere?"

The tricycle stopped in front of the police station and I took a deep breath. A hand squeezed mine reassuringly and I smiled at the nurse. She had called my aunt and briefly explained to her what we were doing. Aunt Nenye gave her approval and said she'd meet us there.

"Remember if the police dont do anything, the media will. Don't stop till you seek justice, okay?" The nurse said and I nodded.

We walked into the station and luckily for me, the Deputy Officer was walking out of his office. Aunt Tofunmi sighted me and tried to call me over but I ignored her.

The Deputy looked at us in confusion and I ran towards him.

"Young lady, how can I help you?" He asked and I felt tears cloud my eyes. My hands started to shake and I felt my knees buckle. I can do this... I can do it.

"My name is Chidimma sir and..." I felt tears roll down my cheeks. "And I was raped sir..."

Dear Reader, this is the end of my old story and the beginning of a new one, a new start. It's your body and if the society is deaf to your cries, then the law and karma are preparing something big.

Yours truly,

Chidimma.

AUTHORS:

Korisa korisa_hex and Anita EkehAnita.