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warnings: mental health!

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BLAKE James' grave was often visited by his wife. She would clean it vigorously and replace the followers every week, updating him on the things he left her with, the children she was raising and the hole in her heart that forever expanded. It cut deep speaking to a tombstone and not the man she married. For better and for worse, in sickness and health, to death do they part.

On Christmas Day, Alexis wasn't alone this time.

Drew stood beside his aunt, as she cleaned his uncle's grave, Cameron stubbornly sat in the car, gritting her teeth and wishing she had some signal to use her phone.

"...So I have more than just a few offers Uncle B. You always told me I would but I didn't expect things to be like this. It's like everything in my life is going a mile a minute," a faint smile appeared on Drew's face whilst he spoke. "I just wish you get to see it happen. But I'll make sure to take enough pictures as possible. Well, I have enough fans so I don't need to do that."

"Behave," Alexis warned, ripping any weed from her husband's grave.

"I can't help it, Aunty," Drew defended. "Everyone loves me."

"And I'd love you even more if you continue to focus on the end goal."

Drew argued, "College isn't the end goal. Being successful is."

"Well, you're not wrong. But there are plenty more between then and now."

"I guess you're right," Drew murmured, then glanced behind them, seeing that Cameron hadn't moved. "Was there any point of her being here? I mean — I'm surprised she hasn't tried hot wiring the car."

"Don't speak it into existence Drew James," Alexis masked her panic with a scolding tone. "I can't force her to get out of the car. But a cemetery is enough to remind her she isn't the only one suffering. Others just deal with the pain better.  And healthier."

Drew scrunched up his face, "Compartmentalising isn't healthy Aunty."

"Watch it," she mock glared and ushered him to help her, "Now grab the weeds. They love to latch onto your uncle's grave."

Inside the car, Cameron silently cheered when she finally got a signal and called up the first person she knew would answer.

"Merry Christmas."

She smiled at Hawk's excited voice, though hers sounded more dreary, "It's really not. But same to you."

She remembered that Hawk's family did celebrate Christmas, although did not make a big deal of it.

"Thanks, you sound cheery. And thanks for the family gift. My mom loves Bed, Bath and Body Works."

"Good. I don't want you to smell like Dior Sauvage anymore. It's grating," she joked, staring out hoping her mom and cousin didn't turn around.

He laughed, "Shut up. You still looking forward to a JamesXDiaz Christmas feast?"

"No. I might just stay at my dad's grave instead. My mom can't discourage me from doing that."

He cursed, "Shit. I forgot this is your first Christmas since he... you know."

"Killed himself? You can say it Eli," she jested, though the heartache never settled.

"Hey. People can hear you."

She rolled her eyes, "The spirits are always listening."

"Thanks for creeping me out. See you in an hour. If you can sneak away."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"SENSEI sorry I'm late I... what the hell?" Cameron's mouth gaped open when she saw Robby Keene sitting in on their class.

"Miss James, as I was explaining to the class. Robby Keene is our guest for today," Kreese stated, gripping the collars of his GI.

She could see Hawk's bubbling anger before he requested to speak to their sensei in his office.

Slipping off her shoes she joined the mat, angling her braided extensions, wrapping them around until they became buns.

Kyle's approached her, "Merry Christ —"

"No."  She dismissed him with a scoff, sending him away whilst she strolled over to Robby, arms folded, "Why are you here?"

"Don't worry I'm not staying long. But I'll thank you. You were right to warn me about Sam." Robby explained further, seeing her confusion, "She and Miguel looked really comfy last night." Her chest tightened as her face hardened, reminding him of how he reacted yesterday, "We might not like each other but deserve better than that."

"Yeah well, don't we all," she bitterly spoke.

Shortly after class, a bunch of them all planned to go to the creek.

Cameron ignored her phone blowing up and turned it off.

Hawk turned to her as he drove them, she was in the passenger seat, Tory was in the back and Johnson was next to her.

"You're mom's gonna be pissed," Hawk said, rounding a corner.

Cameron shrugged, "Yeah well, I already upset her yesterday, might as well keep it up. I missed a psychiatrist session this morning to come to Cobra Kai."

Locking eyes with Tory through the rearview Mirror. Hawk and her exchanged a concerned look.

"You should've gone," Tory said. "You know... To get you off your back."

"She would still be on my back if I went," Cameron huffed out, then nodded to the Creek Sign. "We're here."

It didn't take long for the rest of them to pull up and meet by a broken fence.

Kyler came through with a bag of beer.

"We've got one shot at this. Quick, in and out, we'll be good. Know what to do?" Hawk questioned them all as bears were passed around.

Kyler said confidently against his beer can, " Hell yeah. Let's go."

"All right, sweet." Hawk happily accepted. "CJ," he took the one she held from her hands. Laughing at the pout of her face. "I don't need your mom on my case."

"Fine," Cameron said with a shrug as the rest of the guys indulged whilst footsteps were heard near them.

Hawk stopped laughing along with the guys when he turned to see Robby Keene cautiously strolling over.

"Someone took their sweet ass time," Tory called out, almost smiling at the sight of him.

Hawk turned to her, slightly pissed, "You invited him?"

"I did. Why? You got a problem with that?" She eyed him. "Not even Cameron does."

Everyone turned to the girl in question who stood with a blank expression, "No I do. I'm just blocking everything out to get this shit done."

"Here you go, Keene." Kyler offered Robby a beer.

"I'm good," he declined whilst a few others took a sip.

Hawk taunted, "What, can't handle a sip of beer?"

A few of his friends laughed. 

"I don't need to pretend to be cool," Robby deadpanned.

"Yeah, that's funny," Hawk hissed, moving to step toward him, but Cameron pulled him back.

"All right. Let's get going." Tory said, ceasing the ongoing stare contest between the two boys.

"Come on, we've got shit to do," Cameron pushed Hawk toward the broken fence that Tory held open.

Hawk turned to his close friend once they stood on the other side, "How are you okay with this? Him? Is it because of Miguel? Because I get you're hurt —"

"Don't." Cameron warned, as they walked toward the other Cobra Kai's. "it's bad enough I have to see him today. Don't pile on."

Hawk sighed, "Alright."

Tory and Robby finally joined them on the other side, watching children play in front of the Ventura Zoo.

"The zoo? Why do we have to sneak in?" Robby stared at the sign, with a frown.

"You'll see," Tory promised darkly.

Hawk nodded, "Come on. This way."

"Welcome to the Venture Zoo," the announcer said as the Cobra Kai students snuck through the back "Join us for our behind-the-scenes tour for a fun and informative view."

They rushed up the stairs, halting when Hawk told them, "Right, there's two cameras over there." He pointed to where they are, "The guard goes on break once every hour. We have less than five minutes."

Soon they located the reptile section that was dimly lit.

Cameron wasn't an idiot, so a mask covered her face and she didn't wear any distinct clothing to this.

If the others were to get caught, they would be fine — apart from her and Johnson.

"I wish I could keep one," Cameron's voice was muffled by her mask as she rocked on her heels when Hawk took off his backpack.

"I forget how much Reptiles excite you. Should've got that for your family instead of an air fryer," He replied, fishing out a sack.

"Hey don't mock the air fryer," Cameron wouldn't change it for the world.

He nodded before turning to Kyler, "You got the snake pole?" He asked just as Robby and Tory appeared behind him.

Kyler looked over his person before throwing his head back as he remembered, "Oh, shit! Snake pole, right."

"I orchestrated this entire plan and you don't do that one thing you're in charge of?" Hawk stressed whilst Cameron studied the hissing snake on the other side of the cage.

"I forgot, okay? I've got a lot on my mind. If I don't pass trig, my dad's gonna shit in my mouth," Kyler expressed.

Disgusted and disturbed, just like everyone else Cameron just responded, "Just... stop talking."

"Just reach in and grab the snake!" Tory hissed to Hawk.

He scoffed, "Are you insane? I'm not gonna stick my hand in there!"

"Who's in there?" A voice called out, startling them.

"Shit," Hawk cursed. 

"Po- po, let's go. We gotta go," Kyler prompted, he and Hawk ran.

Cameron rolled her eyes, taking her deep breath as she reached into the cage, slowly, alerting Tory and Robby. The former left, leaving Robby to help.

"Watch the fangs," he advised, earning a whine.

"You don't think that's what I'm doing," her heart pounded in her ears as she realized the gravity of the situation.

Robby whisper-yelled, "Don't argue with me."

"Then don't snap at me," she quietly retorted, lifting the snake out of its cage.

"Got it?"

"Yes." Cameron rapidly nodded, "Get the bag," she seized up as the snake began to stare her down.

"C'mere, give it to me," Robby quickly placed the bag around her hand, simultaneously grabbing the snake away from her, watching as she let out a deep sigh. "Come let's go."

Outside, on the other side of the broken fence, Hawk realised that his close friend wasn't behind them.

"You left CJ?" He spoke through clenched teeth when he saw Tory come through.

She threw up her hands, "So did you!"

He then turned to Kyler, "And you what the hell, dumbass?"

"At least I brought beer," Kyler defended.

"We failed the mission 'cause of you!"

"Who said we failed?"

They all turned around to see Cameron and Robby emerge through the broken fence, the bag was in the latter's hands. A snake's hiss tore through their intrigue.

"No way!" Tory's mouth dropped when Robby held it up,

"Nice!" Kyler praised.

"You got it? Unreal." Tory marvelled.

"I didn't grab it," Robby motioned over to the silent girl, "that was all Cameron."

Cameron unmasked herself and said nothing, shrugging off any cheers that he warmly embraced by the rest of them.

"CJ, I'm sorry," Hawk rushed after her.

"I don't care," Cameron murmured, missing the apologetic stare on Tory's face. "Just hurry up. We need to show sensei so I wash the scent of the Zoo off of me in the shower so my mom doesn't suspect a thing."

The car ride was silent as Robby hitched a ride in Hawk's car much to his dismay.

Cameron wasn't expecting a parade when they presented the snake to Kreese, but she didn't expect this.

"Well done. I'm impressed. You showed fearlessness and leadership. And those are the qualities you need to be a champion." He said, completely dismissing Cameron and patting Robby on the back. "Good job. You're what Cobra Kai has been looking for." Hawk suppressed his anguish as Kreese continued, "Do you see what you can accomplish when you work together? Alliances are important. For us and our enemy. Because you better believe that they are making alliances too."

"What alliances?" Tory spoke for them.

Kreese let out a chuckle, "Oh, you didn't hear? Uh, Diaz and that LaRusso girl, yeah, they're working together." His unwavering grin only grew as his gaze landed on Cameron whose face fell, "Yeah, they helped save the All Valley. They gave quite a speech. They make a pretty good team." Cameron and Robby were hurt by this. "Well, it's getting late. Dismissed. And merry Christmas."

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"DON'T say a word. I don't care what you have to say. Just get ready," Alexis abruptly cut off her daughter as she finished bringing out the other delicacies she had been cooking since yesterday night. "And if I hear any attitude from you tonight I'll unbolt your door."

"So —"

"Stop talking and get in the shower," Drew advise his cousin, tired of being in the brunt end of his aunt's scolding. Cameron just strode away, "Need me to put anything else, Aunty?"

"No. Drew. Just wear your good sweater," Alexis hoped they would be matching, all in red.

"The Christmas one? Please just let me wear my black turtleneck. Can't go wrong with that," he pleaded.

"Fine. Then set the table."

An hour later, there was a knocking at the door, followed by greetings and loud voices.

Cameron deeply exhaled, "Suck it up, Cameron."

The kitchen was busy, Carmen was questioning Drew about his football career, and Rosa was helping herself to a few snacks, narrowly escaping her daughter's pointed stare with Alexis' help.

"Oh Cameron," Carmen's voice drew everyone's attention to the girl who plastered on a smile as she was welcomed by some of the Diazs. "Oh, don't you look amazing?"

"Hermosa chica," Rosa dotted.

"Thank you, so do you," Cameron replied, trying her best to embrace the hugs she'd received.

Alexis agreed with her friends.

Cameron's low ponytails were pinned with golden cuffs, complimenting the burgundy dress wore, and the subtle make-up insinuating her already darkening eyes caused her ex-boyfriend's breath to hitch when he saw her.

"Miggy, aren't you gonna greet your girlfriend?" Carmen asked through her festive laughter, "And we must take pictures."

"Keep them away from any mistletoe," Alexis huffed out.

Drew feigned "I didn't put it up I promise."

"Sure you didn't Mr," Carmen playfully jabbed his face.

"You look..." Miguel couldn't find the right words as they faced each other. Fortunately, the rest of their families were chatting away to hear them. "Seriously you look..."

"Drop it, Miguel," Cameron quietly snapped, earning a frown from him. "I don't need your compliments. Or anything from you. Just continue meeting with Sam LaRusso in secret. And leave me alone."

"Sam?" His eye squinted down at her, "I didn't do anything with Sam. We're just friends."

"Not just that though right?" She scoffed, only aggravating him more. "Let's just suck it up. And play along."

Miguel's shoulders slumped, "Yeah whatever."

But Cameron didn't play along for long. She was overwhelmed by the constant questions thrown her way about their relationship, their future and just how they were getting along at school. Especially when she was just trying to eat the spread.

"Miguel dumped me a few weeks ago."

Cutlery clattered against the table, jaws dropped, whilst Drew continued to eat his food between a stunned Alexis and Carmen

"What?" Carmen turned to her son, settling down her fork, "Is this true Miguel?"

Frustrated Miguel stared at his ex-girlfriend, "I wanted a break."

"And you got a 'break up'," Cameron ignored his cold glare and asked, "Could you pass me the mac and cheese Miss Rosa?"

Rosa, was still in shock but she passed over the tray.

"Miguel wants nothing to do with me," Cameron said, concealing her true feelings with a smug expression.

Alexis was still blinking back her surprise, looking between the ex-couple, feeling the immense tension suffocating them.

"Because what is happening to you." Miguel blurted out, with his fingers coiling into his palms, informing the entire room of the reason. "And I didn't want to break up. You know this."

Continuing to ignore him Cameron's eyes darted between their mother's, "Even after I supported him and helped him get back on his feet. Literally, but it's fine. No hard feelings right?"

Carmen interrupted, "If I knew what happened I wouldn't have — I would've asked before agreeing to this, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Drew waved her off as he tucked into string beans, grunting at the kick to the shin his aunt gave.

Finding her voice, Alexis finally asked, "Why didn't you tell me? Us?" she motioned between the other adults.

Drew admitted, mouth full, "I knew."

"Drew," Alexis exclaimed, in disbelief.

Carmen swatted her son's hands away when he tugged at the roots of his hair.

"What they're pretty popular at school everyone knows," Drew explained, then passed Rosa some sliced turkey that was packed with seasoning.

She eagerly took it whilst reeling from all that she heard.

"Miguel is hooking up with Sam LaRusso now," Cameron said, with indifference stunning the entire room, including Drew.

"No I'm not," Miguel snapped, getting red in the face.

Ultimately turning to face him, Cameron sassed back, "Yes you are."

"I didn't know that," Drew awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, only to receive scolding from the two mothers.

"No, I'm not, what – who's telling you this? It's bullshit." Miguel was more than frustrated, he was pissed off.

"Miguel," Caremn warned, eyes widened in shock as were Alexis' when she scolded him,   "language."

"Sorry mama, Alexis," Miguel quickly apologised, but the harshness didn't leave his gaze, prompting his ex-girlfriend to say,

"Robby told me," she said, with a half-shrug, drawing the biggest callous chuckle from him.

"Robby Keene?" Alexis and Carmen exclaimed.

Rosa questioned, "El hijo de Johnny?"

"That short prick," Drew muttered under his breath.

Alexis nudged him, "Drew."

"He is."

"You're hanging out with the guy who put me in a wheelchair?" Miguel exacerbated, his body fully turned to Cameron who had this to retort.

"No. But you seem to be chilling with one of the reasons why it happened. Are you not?"

Drew raised his hand, "I'm also partially to blame."

"Put your hand down Drew," Alexis warned.

He did what he was told and went back to the food only he and Rosa seemed to be indulging in.

"Did you think I could get over you that quickly?" Miguel stressed, nostrils flaring  "After everything, you think I could get over you like that Cameron even after you blocked me?"

"Well, you broke up with me quick enough. So yes," she seethed, "Yes I did think that Miguel."

"I think everyone needs to calm down," Carmen tried to settle the two.

"No. I don't think I do," Miguel tore his eyes away from his ex-girlfriend as he stood from his chair, dragging everyone's stares to him, "This was pointless. And I have somewhere to be."

"Where Miguel?" Carmen frowned.

"With your new girlfriend I'm guessing." his familiar ringtone bounced through the room, Cameron raised an inquisitive brow, "that her?"

"You're impossible Cameron," Miguel spat.

"Whatever," her chair screeched when she stood up and left the table.

Miguel's eyes followed her when she stormed down the hallway. His phone constantly rang, he debated going after her.

But what was the point?

"I gotta go," he apologetically turned to them, "Sorry mama, Yaya. Thank you for the food Alexis, and Drew..."

"I didn't cook," Drew waved him off but nodded,  "but yeah handle your business man."

Cameron didn't wait around to hear the front door slamming shut, she just stood in the bathroom, staring at the cabinet mirror above the sink.

Through her vexation from the failed night, she simply wiped away any hot tears that escaped her eyes, urging her to take out her contacts.

She needed to.

And so she quietly made her way back to her room, hearing food being scratched up and hushed whispers in the distance as she stumbled onto her glasses, tucked away in her bedside table. She hadn't worn them in months. They were collecting dust in their case.

Her shoulders slumped when upon realisation.

Her blurry vision only became more distorted when she stared into her full-body mirror.

Everything looked wrong.

She looked and felt wrong.

Broken.

A harsh truth she refused to swallow, especially when she believed just putting her glasses back would fix it.

But it just made all her cruelty so much more clearer.

Cameron stumbled back out of her room, as her breaths laboured, forcing her to clutch the hallway wall so she was just a few metres away from the view of others.

"I don't recognise my baby anymore," her eyes slammed shut when she heard her mother's voice, it was breaking as she admitted. "I thought this thing, this sport would make her happy. You know keep her focus, help her after her dad... but she isn't the same. She's angry." Cameron's fist shakily clenched whilst she tried steadying her breathing. "She hardly reads, binging watches her favourite shows. I don't know what she's getting up to other than galavanting through town with those hooligans." sniffling was heard through the kitchen, "Lily won't be her friend anymore – so I'm told. And now I hear and clearly see she's not with your boy anymore."  Cameron's teary eyes fluttered open and she exhaled slowly through her clenched teeth, "She just doesn't seem to care. And that man. Kreese. I'm not scared of him, no, I know worse men. I was scared that I was too blind to see what he was doing to her. I need it to stop Carmen."

"You have our support, Alexis," Carmen comforted her as did Rosa.

Cameron slowly looked up to see her cousin lock eyes with her as he stepped out with a trash bag. It was clear that he was the only one to see her.

But before he could utter a single thing, she shook her head pleadingly, rendering him to shut his mouth, startled by the look in her eyes and the fact she was wearing her glasses.

Cameron rushed back to her room, gently shutting the door to alert further attention.

She exhaled loudly, choking back any sobs as she scrambled to grab her jacket and Converse and then pulled up her window, wincing at the creak.

Taking one last harrowing look toward her door that thankfully never opened, Cameron climbed out.

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a/n:

well, that was awkward. and i never realsied that when kreese praised robby for getting the snake instead of hawk who came up with the idea, it was what prompted hawk to second guess cobra kai – that and bringing robby into the dojo. so i added to that when cameron actively stayed behind which robby did help her with (i kinda loved their bickering), however, she was dismissed. it kinda made her somewhat realise for the first time it might all be a game to kreese, that he doesn't actually care for his students, however with him informing her and robby about sam and miguel, lowkey reverse that.

cameron hearing what she did at christmas and blowing up at miguel in front of everyone fully cemented her being rock bottom in my book. every meal she had with the diaz's up until that point went well. but she made a fool of herself.
this is her dress by the way https://pin.it/4KnPim1v0

where do you think cameron's going?