With shaky hands, I covered my face as I finally gave in to the insistent urge to cry.

❦︎

~[VICTORIA]~

Dad and I walked in, and it happened slowly. The usher that first layer eyes on us alerted another usher who alerted a member of the congregation and soon, majority of them were looking at us, the ones farther away stretching to see. Even the pastor had to pause the sermon to see what was distracting his congregation.

I knew we should have arrived earlier, there would have been less people and our entrance would have been less dramatic. Well, thanks to Dad and his oversleep, we were late.

By this time, people had pulled out their phones, clicking photos and recording videos.

"Calm down," Dad whispered, he must have noticed my unease. "They'll soon get used to us."

I nodded, took a deep breath. No doubt, those videos would trend once they got on the internet, that's if they weren't there already.

"Let me show you to your seats, Sir, Miss." One of the female ushers in a white button down and black pencil skirt offered.

We walked past some rows and she showed us to seats in one empty row. I couldn't have been more grateful as Dad and I took our seats. The service had continued normally, although, I noticed a few people turn to steal glances at us.

No doubt, Dad and I would be the topics of discussion for the next couple of days. How would everyone take the news? I mean, Dad had constantly denied any sort of connection with me for as long as I could remember. And now, he was coming out of the blue to tell the world that I was his daughter.

The thought of subsequent events was painfully hilarious.

With a foggy mind and brewing anxiety, I struggled to pay attention to the sermon.

°°°°°

"Are you guys really father and daughter?"

"Why was it a secret all along?"

"Why the sudden revelation?"

The press was already at the parking lot of the church, outside the building and together with the church members, they were hurling questions at us.

Dad's steps halted, he looked around at the crowd gathered around us and announced, "Victoria Kanayo here is truly my daughter and why we have kept it a secret all along is best known to us."

With that, he continued walking, pulling me along with him. People continued asking questions but neither Dad nor I gave them any response. We finally succeeded in getting in our car and simultaneously, we breathed out in relief.

"Maybe I should stop keeping our body guards at a distance." He murmured in exhaustion, shaking his head.

I grinned, cocked my head to the side. Deciding to use his exact words, I told him, "Calm down, they'll soon get used to us."

°°°°°

~[JASON]~

She was trending again.

Not for winning The Nationals this time though.

I just turned on my phone and she was right in my face. For goodness' sake, can't a man just go a day without her being all over the internet?

Victoria Kanayo turns out to be Kevin Kanayo's daughter.

And so?

I dragged a hiss, deciding to switch off my phone since I could not use any social media without seeing her face on my screen.

Sleeping sounded like a better idea than seeing her face everywhere.

°°°°°

"Chibuike!"

Someone tapped my back.

"Chibuike!"

They tapped again.

"Wake up!"

I groaned, stirring in bed. "Leave me." I groggily drawled.

"Chibuike, I said wake up." The voice was now clearer and I recognized it as Mom's. "Don't make me tickle you."

I jumped out of bed at her threat, facing her in alertness. "I'm awake already, there's no need for that."

She guffawed, shaking her head. "I'll take you by surprise one of these days."

"Mom, what do you want?" I looked at her squarely, tilted my head. "I made lunch already if that's what you came to ask."

"I saw your attempt at making lunch already." She said dryly, rolling her eyes. "Not the best, but okay." She shrugged, plopped on the bed.

"Attempt?" I squinted at her, lips gaped. "I can compete with famous chefs and even beat them."

"Yeah, whatever sails your boat." She huffed, leaning back to hoist her elbows on the bed. She was now looking at me straight in the eyes, something akin to worry marred her face. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." I shrugged, going to seat beside her on the bed.

"They're still asking of you." She said, sitting up right.

"Who?" I was truly lost.

"The church members. They really want to see you again, Chibuike."

"Why?" I raised a questioning brow.

"You've not been in church for a while now."

"There's no use going," I stated flatly. " Whoever is up there must really hate my guts."

"Chi-"

"Mom, please... I really don't have the strength." I sighed tiredly as I looked away.

"Chibuike, I lost the man who was supposed to be the love of my life," she continued nevertheless. "I  lost my daughter too. But I don't blame God for it, do I? Your father left and your sister left soon after, did God send them away? He didn't! They decided to leave on their own." By this time, she was already panting and tears had gathered in her eyes.

Something wet trailed down my cheeks, I realized they were tears when I touched them and soon low sobs began escaping my lips. "Mom, I'm just tired," I sniffed and wiped the liquid away with the back of my hand, more tears continued to flow down my cheeks. "Nothing in my life goes my way... nothing at all... I swear, I'm trying. God, I'm trying! But maybe misfortune has taken a special liking towards me," somehow, my misery amused me. "All of sudden, my dad and sister are gone, and then I proceed to flip The Nationals two consecutive times, isn't that just great?" Honestly, I don't know where I found the strength to be sarcastic, let alone for the low chuckle that followed. "Maybe I'm really just..." A lump formed in my throat as I struggled to hold back the sob threatening to escape me lips.

With shaky hands, I covered my face as I finally gave in to the insistent urge to cry.

"Oh, my baby." Mom moved closer and scooted me into her arms, hugging me tightly as I sobbed into the nape of her neck. "That's just what you think. Of course, you can't control everything. But there are many things you have in your control; you just gave them away."

Nothing she had just uttered made sense to me.

As if reading my mind, she expatiated, "I mean, you don't even know the things you have control over. You've given people the power to use them against you. You have control over your emotions, Chibuike, but you've given people the power to control it for you, so, they do it by talking rubbish. Those people know little to nothing about you, so, why should their opinion even stand? They're talking based on nothing and you let it get to you... it shouldn't be that way at all." She pulled out of the hug, cupped my cheeks and tried to wipe my tears with her thumbs. "Take charge, Chibuike. It's the best thing you can do for yourself."

I wanted to speak but my brain was blank, I was short of words. Everything she had just said made sense but the question was how? I couldn't just wake up one morning and stop caring. As far as I knew, that wasn't the way emotions worked.

"It'll be a gradual process, but soon enough, that realization would hit you hard." She sighed, stroking my cheeks with her knuckles. "But for the meantime, you need help, Chibuike... professional help."

"I'm not going for therapy, Mom. I'm not crazy." I moved away, shaking my head. "I'm not going to go."

"Attending therapy doesn't mean you're crazy, you're just seeking the help that you need." She scooted closer, placed her hand on my thigh. "I know you're not crazy."

There was a long silence as we stared at each other. But I was having an internal battle as I held Mom's gaze. Agree or not agree? I was on a fence. Indecisive.

"I'll think about it." I grumbled reluctantly. And then I shivered, that thing that usually happens after one cries.

"That's good enough." She smiled and ruffled my hair. She got up and my eyes followed her face. "I have some things to attend to now. Holler if you need something, okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded, mustering a small smile.

"Later." She said and spun on her heels. I watched her as she climbed up the small flight of stairs at the door and exited the room.

I exhaled heavily, reflecting on the past few minutes. Everything Mom had said, especially the part where she suggested that I attend therapy.

You're only seeking the help that you need...

If I needed mental help, didn't that make me crazy?

But I could not deter from the fact that my panic attacks were happening more frequently. If it was because I stopped taking my drugs or because I did things that triggered it, I could not tell.

But still, there was no way in hell I was going to attend therapy.

•
•
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A/N

Not the best chapter I've written, I know. Kinda tacky. I'll work on it later.

Anyways, it's nice to be back, y'all. I missed y'all so badly you have no idea. Say you missed me too 🔪🙂.

The next chapter is half ready, I really don't want to disappoint this week so imma get it done.

See you there!

Love ya!❤️