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April 2020

Pune

Indian Defence Station, Indian Air Force.

Quarter No. 15

A pause. A stop button. Don’t we all want it? At least in some moments in which we step into the bounce of our life; a life which is present there in those little breathing moments. Majority of the time, these are the phases in which we have been the happiest we could ever be, in those nanoseconds and seldom, almost rarely, there are some of those scattered instances which we would like to keep a tight hold onto. The seconds that helped us into unveiling the layer of our own self which even unknown to us. Kyuki kehte hain na ki zindagi mein kuch pal hote hain aur kayi baar sirf kuch palon mein he zindagi hoti hai.

(Isn’t it said that there are a few moments in life and at times there is a life in those few moments.)

Presently, Karan and Monami both wanted nothing but a pause. A pause, so that they can live and relive in those moments which withheld the firsts of many of the firsts they experienced together. They wanted to stay in the cocoon of those endless milliseconds which invoked a seed of untamed passion, intensity and desire in them, for each other. And why not? It was a lot more than a simple kiss. It was that fragment which was more than enough to soak them in the anticipation of what will be the fulfillment of those burning desires will look like.

Monami’s palm fisted the back of Karan’s well ironed shirt, making evident creases on it. On feeling the clutch, Karan’s grip on Monami tightened too. There was not much difference in the way they held each other, except for the fact that this hug was filled with a lot of untamed force to calm their raging breaths and hormones. Yet, in all this, one thing was constant and that was the way he held her; his one palm cupping the back of her head and other resting on her back. Monami could feel his touch and she couldn’t be more grateful to her parents for finding a guy like this for her and to her in laws for raising him like this; a proper personification of a gentleman.

Reluctantly, Monami loosened the fist and started to withdraw her hand. Feeling her actions, Karan knew that she was about to pull back but his lips curved up gently and his hold secured automatically around her when he felt that she was just mindlessly and lethargically trying to pull back without even having an intention to do so. He placed a deep kiss, full of love on her crown and then eventually started pulling off.

Though none of them wanted to leave each other, yet they knew that have to, to rearrange and organize everything that can be done, lest they’ll be whining the next day.

Wordlessly, they pulled apart and after a brief eye lock and an assuring blink from both the ends, they started to blow off the candles and lantern and pick up the cutleries and the remaining dish and walked out from the balcony to the kitchen.

After Karan kept the items in his hold onto the kitchen counter, he went back to the living room and bolted the slider of the gallery. Once done, he kept both his palms on the transparent door he just slided, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath and rested his forehead on the back of his palms. He knew they both needed a moment in each other’s absence to calm their clogged up mind. Karan’s lips twitched up slightly when he opened his eyes and it glanced at the space behind the closed door. Huffing out, he took his steps back to the kitchen to help his wife with the remaining chores.

Meanwhile, when Karan left, Monami too placed the bowl on the counter and turned her back against it and gripped the edge of the counter platform to calm her insides which were on a frenzy ever since she saw a blazing look in Karan’s eyes for her when he saw in the saree and then the inundation only increased to ten folds ever since their lips got sealed in their kiss. She shook her head whilst closing her eyes and tightened her hold on the edge of the counter platform. She was thankful that Karan had left the space for a few minutes.

When Karan came back in, he gulped in a huge lump when his midnight orbs caught the side of his wife, leaning against the slab with her eys closed and holding its edges and. In order to not to make her feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable, he steadily took his feet backwards and once when he took a few steps in the direction of living room, he with a little deliberate noise of keeping the remote against the TV shelf, walked towards kitchen.

As soon as Monami heard the noise, she got alert and inhaling deeply, she went back to what she was doing. In not more than a couple of seconds, she was joined by Karan too and with a silent mutual understanding, carried on with the tasks.

Once done, Karan filled up their water bottle and Monami switched off the lights before they went in their room. The moment they were in the closed confinement of comfort, the tension they were trying to avoid was as obvious as an elephant in the room.

Karan placed the bottle on the his bedside shelf and sighed inaudibly before turning on his heels to walk towards his wife, who was aimlessly looking around her with her lower lip slightly trapped in her mouth and her fingers fiddling with each other.

When Monami sensed her spouse walking towards her, she looked in his direction and held his gaze. The moment they were in front of each other, Karan scratched his eyebrow with the pad of his forefinger and it made Monami simper a bit. She understood that they both were on the same page and wanted to talk about whatever transpired between them a few minutes ago.

Karan reached out to hold her hand, to draw in some bodily comfort and Monami too, welcomed the warmth he brought in. unknowingly, they both started at the same time.

“Karan!”

“Monami!”

Karan took a tiny step forward as he softly smiled and caressed his thumb on the back of her palm and said, “Tum bolo.”

(You say.)

“Har baar mauka tum pehle mujhe he dete ho. Iss baar pehle tum bolo.” Monami gently squeezed on his hand.

(You always let me go first. So this time, you go first.)

Karan exhaled voicelessly and raised his one hand from their tangled ones and placed it on her cheek, reducing the distance with a tiny bit and proliferating their heartbeats rapidly. “Monami, humare beech jo bhi hua… I’ll be cherishing it for my life and with my life. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life and with you in it, it was even more special.”

(Monami, whatever happened between us…)

As each syllable left Karan’s mouth, a subtle blush started grazing their cheeks. The air was never awkward neither now nor earlier; it was just slightly laced with a multiple emotions. It was somewhat nervous, jittery, and effusive and filled with an incomprehensible delight. 

A soft smile tugged up at the corners of Monami’s lips as she heard her man speak. Monami averted her eyes from his for a miniscule of a second before looking back at him. “Karan, I’m glad that we are on the same page. This was as special to me as it was for you. This was for sure one of the best firsts with you. I know it is was unexpected and given that we are still getting used to each other, but what makes it extremely remarkable is the fact that it belonged to us; wholly and solely.”

With an unwavering gaze fixated on his wife, Karan’s visage got immersed in the strokes of glitter, color, euphoria and the most dominant of all, serenity. No matter how many times he gets floored, he absolutely loved it when his wife expressed what she felt, especially when it comes to their moments and feelings. Her acknowledgement was her USP. Only he knew that how grateful he was, for having such an exceptional partner. She was no less than a fuel which kept the vehicle of his life, running.

Karan gently tugged at her hand and said with an unfaltering gaze, “You know what, Mrs. Shergill, I never said it to you until now and I never thought that I will, to someone who I have not known for too long. Monami, tum na bhagwaan ka who aashirwaad ho jo mujhe ya toh shayad bina maange mila hai ya phir kisi ardaas ki barkat ho.”

(Monami, you’re that grace of the god that either I have received without even asking or you’re the blessing of one of those prayers I did.)

“Shergill Sahab, aap bohot he acche se jaante ho kab kya bolna hai. Ek toh vaise he mujhe bolne ka mauka nahi dete phir jab aisi baatein karte ho na, toh mai bol he nahi paati kuch. But you know what? Tum mere liye who sukoon bante jaa rahe ho jisey main apni roz ki bhaag-daud ki zindagi mein talaashti thi. You’re no less than a blessing to me; God’s choicest blessing.” Saying so, Monami tenderly placed her head against his chest and demurely dropped a kiss on his heart, earning a subconscious peck on her temple.

(Shergill Sahab, you very well know when to speak and what. As it is you don’t give me a chance to speak and when you speak like this then I become speechless.) (Gradually, you’re becoming that peace which I used to seek for in my daily hustle.)

With almost no effort, Karan wordlessly tightened his hold on her and aimlessly swayed them a little. Monami, too joined this random and without any care sway without any uninhibition. They were still not back from the effects of their intimacy. 

Karan then disentangled their tangled frames and with their hands still intertwined, he took a step back and twirled Monami, taking her in a back hug. He then continued with the soft sways.

The dim lights of the room, and an easy breeze from the air conditioner just added on the homely vibes. Monami’s eyes closed on their own accord, and so did Karan’s. They were just basking in the tranquility of togetherness.

Monami could feel herself getting wrapped in the quilt of serenity, compassion, comfort and affection as she let herself free from all her inhibitions in her spouse’s arms. She gently leaned her head back and rested on his chest. With whatever happened today, she knew that the moment they shared was just like a tiny finger in the ocean, they were yet to get drenched in the depth of emotions.

She was still in daze of the moment they shared, of the kiss they shared. It was as if suddenly she was shredded off the layer she kept herself hidden in. Her consciousness affirmed to let go of all the build up walls, with the guy who is still holding her, in that moment.

She herself thought that she is one of those people who considers all these proposals and promises cliché but she could swear on her God and uniform, that she actually felt the blazing chords of intensity in her veins when their lips met. A mere touch and she was left breathless defenceless. It was as if that fused moment was enough to unleash all the sensations that were so far concealed.

Yet what she cannot deny is the fact that Karan is indeed the God’s choicest blessing bestowed upon her. They know each other since last 5 months and this guy has not even given her a chance to rethink about decision, because despite her reservations, this man had managed to make a home for himself in her space, life and heart. Moreover this lockdown was like a blessing in disguise for them, it gave them a chance to be with each other in their truest and the most unfiltered version. There was not a single speck of pretentiousness in the moments they have been with each other. She knew that she was yet to discover a lot about Karan, but this shut off from the outside world gave them a chance to unveil those shades which otherwise would not have been possible.

Meanwhile Karan felt no different then her. Whenever he held Monami in his arms, he could not help but feel complete. It was as if there was indeed a void that was waiting to be acknowledged and filled and as his father said, his wife was certainly the bridging the gap of emptiness in his life. It was as if he was drizzled with the comforting sunshine, like that in the winter mornings. His body never failed to acknowledge the the feeling of unmissable security he felt, whenever he was in her arms or even in her proximity.

Even though he was extrovert, Karan had his own insecurities too and he hoped that he would find someone with whom these tiny crumbs of diffidence would not surface up and he was in awe when his life partner, unknown to herself, calmed his demons of underconfidence. It was not as if he was all sorted now. No, he like every other human, undergo the ocassional pangs of these insecurities  and will continue to do so, in future too but what he also know for sureis that he’ll no more be alone in that battle.

A smile gently settled on his lips when his mind traveled down the lanes of their kiss. It was their first. He could still feel himself relish those moments. A touch so pure, so raw and so complete. It was as innocent as it was interlaced with lust and desires. It felt like an enchanting, spell bounding force of embrace. It meddled with his senses and unraveled his hidden desires. He by all means was charmed.

He was glad that he got to spend this closed off time with someone like her, who was not only his wife but a partner, his life partner, his most amazing partner. He knew that this was just a begininng of their moments which henceforth will be laced with longing, a subtle shade of intimacy and innocence sprinkled with lust. Yet he did not want to jump into the first chance get and behave like a horny teenager turning into a caveman.

Karan opened his eyes and the moment they were free to look, they were stuck on what they saw. Their joined frames. He recalled what all she did for him to make him feel special and the small smile was now etched a bit more. He tilted his head and then softly hitting it on her side, he whispered, “Thank you for making me feel so special, the entire day. This was a lifetime memory.”

Monami’s eyes fluttered open when she felt her head hit his. She smiled hearing him but her body was highly alerted with every action he did. Goosebumps covered her neck and arms when she felt the slight fumbling grazed of Karan’s arms around her. A sudden nervous excitement grasped her. She didn’t know how but she understood and therefore said, “Tumhe itna hesitate karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. You can hold me. Aur vaise bhi, pehli baar thodi na kar rahe ho.”

(You don’t need to hesitate.) (Additionally, you’re not doing it for the fiirst time as well.)

“Tab situation alag thi, aur abhi bohot alag. Plus, har baar tumhe aur mujhe same cheez thodi na chahiye ho sakti hai.” Karan said, without moving his hand from where it was earlier.

(The situation was different back then and now, it is very different. Moreover, you might not want the same things as me, all the time.)

Monami’s heart was so full and so she said with all the calmness, “Par abhi hai.”

(But for now, I want it.)

A smile tugged up at Monami’s lips when Karan left her arms to garland around her belly. “Tumhe thank you bolne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Yeh toh itna kuch khaas…” Monami’s voice went very small before she couldn’t speak any more, courtesy, her husband.

(You don’t need to thank me. This was not even that special…)

Just as his arms wrapped around her a bit closely, Karan’s body grew aware of the shame of the distance between them and how unintentionally, her body too snuggled up against his. Encouraged by this and her acceptance of his touch on her, Karan allowed his fingers brush against the exposed skin of her waist in caressing strokes and this rendered his wife speechless.

“It was way more than just special for me.” Karan’s voice turned unintentionally husky.

Unable to withstand the profound force of swirling emotions that were budding within her, Monami hastily turned around and placed her palms on his shoulders but what she didn’t saw coming was her being so close to him that her nose was practically touching his and eyes fluttering to remain locked with his.

Karan’s body reacted faster than his mind. It suddenly got conscious of propinquity between them. Naturally, he was turned on. But knowing better than to react on it, he gulped in the lump as he created a distance between their faces.

Monami was caught up in similar struggle with her wanting insides. She was aroused too, but didn’t knew how to approach it diffrently. She was glad when Karan did.

“Mrs. Shergill, aap rozona saree kyu nahi pehen sakti?” Karan sighed while asking and tracing his thumb continuously on the curve of her waist, making her shiver in anticipation.

(Mrs. Shergill, why can’t you wear saree every day?)

Monami narrowed her eyes and asked a little playfully, “Kyun? Taaki tumhe aise badmaashi karne ka mauka mile?” Monami hinted at his ministrations on her sensitive naked skin.

(And why is that? So that you can get a chance to do mischief like this?)

“Haan toh? Aur vaise bhi, issey badmaashi nahi kehte hain.” Karan said it with a know it all expression and subconsciusly, he removed one of his hand from around her waist in a slow unintentional graze on her spinal cord and raised it to tuck back the escaped tendrils behind her ear.

(So what? Furthermore, it is not a mischief.)

Monami’s posture stiffened before relaxing. She narrowed her eyes and asked, “Accha toh phir kya kehte hain?’

(Oh really, then what do we call it?)

“Issey romance kehte hain.” Karan leaned in, decreasing the distance between them and then continued in a in an raspy whisper, “Don’t worry. Mai hoon na… sikhaane ke liye bhi aur…”

(This is called as romance.) (I’m there… to teach you and …)

Monami’s stomach churned yet again in anticipation as the skin of her ear tickled with his whisper. She too said, with an evident thickness in her tone, “Aur?”

(And?)

“Aur karne ke liye bhi.” Saying so, Karan blew in her ear and bit it softly.

(And to do it as well.)

Monami’s eyes got closed on their accord and a small voice left her throat as Karan bit the shell of her ear and her hold on his shoulders, tightened. “Karan!” She gasped slowly.

Karan pulled back slightly to come face to face with her. Keeping the bare minimum distance between them, he took a glance at his wife who was looking like a sweet temptation before resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes. “Hmm?”

Sensing the touch on her forehead and endless strokes of breaths on her lips, Monami clenched her thighs in anticipation. She opened her eyes and gulped audibly, seeing Karan so close to her, looking like a dream.

Karan too opened his eyes and let it meet it’s favourite pair, before dropping down on her inviting pink mushes and then looking back her dark pools.

Monami bit her lip whilst nodding in an extremely subtle manner which would have been missed if Karan was not looking at her incessantly with an inadvertant gaze.

A moment of permission was all Karan needed and then he wasted no time in placing his lips against hers. For a couple of seconds, their world froze and they both remained still as if trying to absorb the emotions their second time was bringing in.  

It made absolutely no difference to them when their lips touched, it was as surreal, as mystical, as gratifying, as unnerving and as raw as their first was with the only dissimilarity being that it was slightly more familiar. They let themselves feel unshackled as they ripped off their vulnerabilities in one of the most vulnerable moments of their lives.

The only sound that was meddling in between, time and again was the tick tock of the clock but nonetheless it did not waver the two souls who were involved in this tender odyssey. This colloison of their lips spoke the depths of their feelings and needs, which otherwise they refuse to voice it out.

As Monami moved her lips against his, she could bet that it was going to be her most favorite pair of softness. Totally into the moment, her left palm moved from his shoulder blade to his nape while the other one cupped his jaw and neck with her fingers grazing the outline of his ear.

Karan felt that the dance their lips were indulged in was that one of those moments he would never be able to describe, except for the fact that her lips on his felt like an innocent seduction. When he could no longer bend his head, he started getting straight, although not freeing them from the tangled mess they were in.

With Karan standing on his full height, it made Monami tip toe, completely enthralled in the moment. When Karan felt her feet not making peace with the ground, he secured his hold on her waist firmly as he tugged her closer and his other palm went beneath her hair as he mapped it till her neck.

Monami was coated in colors of sensousness and breathlessness as she felt Karan’s touch on her bare skin, more than she ever experienced. Karan’s fingers dug deep on her skin as he felt the intensity burn his veins, as a result of which her hold on his nape tightened and what drove him crazy was the fact that how her fingers mindlessy skimmed in his hair.

They were literally shining under the mild orange lights that was cascading a spotlight on them. They were lost within each other, with their bodies pressed, senses befuddled, hums and moans captured and hearts beating in sync with other’s. They were looking like an embrace of chaotic rythym cocooned with serenity.

As they pulled apart, and slowly opened their eyes to have look at each other, they could see the afterglow grazing their partner’s cheeks. This time, they looked at each other in a different light, a light which dwelled them in the abyss of intimacy and closeness.

They blinked their eyes in an affirming manner and a soft smile quirked up on their now swollen pair of pinks on their face as they continued to stare at each other with longing and comfort and then enveloped each other in a hug. Probably for the first time, Karan’s palm remained on her back which radiated warmth as the other was firm on her waist, his new found fascination and obsession.

This room, this ambience, this day, will always be special to them. Their moments of togetherness, cascaded with a new found intimacy will let them enjoy the ride of this newness between them. The writer of their story was turning the pages as the beginning of their new innings was already a classic one.

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4k+ words.

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I hope it was not boring?

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