Caspian

I hated myself as soon as I stepped out of the club. I hated the fact that I couldn't comfort her while she was crying. And I hated my reaction to her telling me she was pregnant. I wish I could've mustered up enough strength to be happy about it but I wasn't.

I was beyond terrified.

I didn't have a great upbringing. My parents hated each other and the only thing they enjoyed doing together was making my life a living nightmare. I rebelled and ran away all the time but they always managed to bring me home.

It was my personal hell for what felt like an eternity until I left and never looked back. I left with nothing but a backpack and a heart full of the issues they'd given me. My anger was probably one of the worst ones.

I hurt Cleo in the past and although it was an impulsive mistake, I never forgave myself for it. I lost her and went to therapy for years to be able to manage it. Although it was under control, the monster that I got from my father, was still in me...waiting to just pop out anytime.

I was already cautious around Cleo and Xavier but adding children to the equation terrified me. What if I hurt them? Would they turn out like me?

I passed the car in the parking lot and left it. I had my own set of keys but I wanted Xavier and Cleo to have the option of taking it. I'd caused enough inconvenience for them tonight.

I walked alone through the busy streets deep in thought for what felt like hours. No matter what I thought of, me being a horrible parent popped up. I knew children were a possibility someday but I tried my best to not make it anytime soon. I guess we got careless.

I wasn't aware of my own body still walking until I noticed the now empty sidewalks. I looked around at the dark streets and leaned against a brick building and sat on the floor.

I needed advice. Some sort of guidance to help me figure out the messy jumble that was in my mind. My first thought was Syn, but he was with Queen and I didn't want to interrupt him.

There was only one other person in my mind but it was two am and I doubted that they'd come. I was desperate enough to try it though. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed their number and held it to my ear.

I waited for multiple rings and I began to lose hope until I heard their voice. "Hello?"

"Hey, I know it's late but I need to talk to someone."

"Where are you?"

I looked at a nearby sign and shrugged. "Vandrey District in Juva."

"I'll be there soon." I nodded and hung up the call and leaned my head against the wall.

"Hello."

My head snapped up and my eyes widened as I looked in front of me and I raised my brows in shock. "We just hung up less than ten seconds ago. How...?"

"I'm Lucifer," he said as he adjusted the cuff link on his shirt.

"I know," I said with a nod. "But I expected some sort of lag, you know?"

"Eh, I'm bored. No one summons me these days," he said as he sat next to me against the wall. "How may I be of service?"

"I just need advice."

"Oh," he muttered in disappointment. "I'm great on this. That's why I'm a therapist."

"You are?"

"Hell no," he said. "But I have nothing else to do so continue."

"Cleo is pregnant."

"Oof, good luck." I looked at him in annoyance but all he did was shrug and pull a flask out of his jacket pocket. He took a swig of whatever was in it and I looked back out at the empty street.

"I don't want kids. I'm going to be a horrible father," I said.

"I had a horrible father," he said with a small laugh. "The fucker kicked me out...but you know that story."

"Sure, but you had Syn. He's a good person...kind of. How did you not make him...a horrible person?"

"Truthfully," he started. "I have no idea. I didn't even want him." I looked at him in surprise and he shrugged again. "It's true. I was a bad father. I wanted a soldier, not a son. I wasn't even there when Syn was born."

"What changed?"

He smiled and shook his head as he took another swig. "I've never told anyone this before. You really want to know?"

"Yes."

"Okay well, as I said, I wasn't father material at all. My main purpose and goal in life were to rule the world. Children were annoying distractions to me. After Syn was born, I didn't even visit. I wanted to wait until he was older so I could use his powers."

"Damn," I said. "You were bad."

"Yup. I ignored it whenever Gen summoned me, I didn't see his first steps or even care that he had them. I was empty."

He glanced at me to see me completely focused on the story and continued. "One night, I just felt like seeing how the mini devil was progressing. I wanted to see how strong he was...at the time he was maybe a year old and I had NEVER seen him before.

I snuck into the palace late that night and went into his room. I expected him to be asleep but he was sitting up in his crib and putting some toy in his mouth. Of course, I was disappointed that something I created was so...useless, but I ignored it and walked towards him. Ever since then, I never left."

"But why though?" I asked. "Was it because he was a cute baby or what? There has to be more."

"Well yes, like I said I walked towards the crib and he looked up at me and smiled," Lucifer said with a grin as he recalled the memory. "I didn't think much of it and ignored it as I reached out for him. When I picked him up, he called me 'Da-da'."

I laughed at such a casual name for Lucifer and he laughed slightly before continuing. "Right then and there, I wasn't the devil. He'd never met me before so him acknowledging ME as his father...it was like he chose that role for me specifically and nothing else mattered anymore."

"I thought he never smiled until Queen," I said.

"That's what everyone thinks," he said. "Even Syn thinks that. Like I told you, I've never told anyone this. That was also something that made me get my shit together. Gen used to call me and go to warlocks about him showing no emotion. Out of everyone since he met since he came into the world, he smiled at me and everything just...clicked."

"That's amazing," I said sincerely.

"Yes. A lot of children suck, I'd like to think I was lucky," he said. I smiled at his words and he laid a hand on my shoulder. "Point being, you never know what's going to happen. Syn is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I was the fucking devil.

If I was able to be less of an evil person because of him, there's hope for you. Don't let your parents be the reason that you fail your child. What matters is what you do. Choose the person you want to be, and make it happen, understand?"

I nodded and took a deep breath. Everything he said to me called my nerves and I stopped thinking about how horrible I'd be. "I understand."

"Now get your ass home," he said as he stood up. "Also, remember you have Xavier and Cleo to lean on for guidance. I had Gen and I learned."

"I will," I said as I stood up. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

I looked around at the empty streets and back to him. "Would you mind snapping me home?"

"Ughh, I guess," he muttered. "To the palace?"

"Yes."

"Goodbye, Caspian." Before I could say my goodbye, he snapped his fingers and I was inside of the foyer in the palace. I sped up the stairs and to my room and opened the door.

Cleo looked up at me from the bed and I rushed to her and pulled her into my arms. "I'm so sorry, baby."

She hugged me back and relaxed into my arms and I let out a sigh of relief that she wasn't holding any grudges. I probably deserved her anger but I was thankful that she wasn't. "It's okay. I understand."

I looked up at Xavier who was leaning against the wall and smiling at us and I mouthed a 'thank you'. He nodded and I pulled away and looked between the both of them.

"I'm scared as fuck, but I'll try my best," I said.

Cleo smiled and held my hand. "That's all we want."

"Whooo!" Xavier cheered. "We're going to be fucking amazing parents."

I hope so.

꧁꧂

Author's Note
Lucifer's Story thooooo😭

He may not be the best at advice but I was in tears omgg😭 At least Caspian is home. I think he's going to be great, what do y'all think?
Lmk your thoughts ✨