Queen

"Umm-, you're going to read it out loud?" I asked nervously. My heart was beating faster than it had in years and I held my hands together to calm myself down. There was a reason that this letter remained unopened.

Even though it was Syn in front of me and reading it, it still hurt. A lost part of him, a part that was in love with me wrote this and that part was still gone even if Syn was back.

"I just want to see if it will jog any memories," he said as he eyed it.

"Well, you didn't read it at the wedding."

"What?"

"Like, you were planning to—but you said fuck it and spoke off the top of your head," I said as I smiled to cover up my pain.

"I did that?" He asked in amusement.

"Yeah."

"That's crazy. I'm not really good at that," he said with a laugh.

"Yeah I know," I agreed humorously. "Your proposal was all over the place too."

"Really?" He questioned as he sat back. "Tell me about it."

I let out a breath and searched my mind for when Syn popped the question and giggled to myself. "Well, it was at a dinner with everyone at the palace. Super dramatic night, we found out who was trying to kill you and confronted everyone."

"What a night..." he teased.

"Yeah, well umm— I just turned around and you were on one knee," I said. "You were stuttering...a lot...and you asked everyone how you were doing multiple times."

"And I presume you said yes...considering..."

"Well I didn't have a choice, when he first met you beat me at a game and I owed you a favor. You used it to get me to marry you."

"Ah, okay that sounds a lot more like me," he added. "Would you have said yes if I didn't have the favor?"

I nodded. "I would have."

He tried to hide a smile and cleared his throat as he stood up. He held his hand out for me and I laid my hand into his hesitantly. I was confused as to what was going on until Syn pulled me up and made me stand directly in front of him.

My heart stopped as he held up the letter and glanced at me before looking down at the paper. "Dear Princess, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to start vows off with "dear" but I did it anyways, kill me."

I smiled and crossed my arms as I looked down at our feet and Syn continued. "Not to brag or anything, but I've spent approximately 77 hours, 23 minutes, and ten seconds writing this. I'm not telling you the time for you to think what I'm about to say is going to be mind-blowing. It's still me, so it's probably shit."

My eyes watered as I laughed softly and wiped a corner of my eye. We were just getting started and I was about to fall apart.

"Let's just get into the actual love shit before you run back down the aisle and leave me," Syn read as he looked down at me momentarily.

"I could go on all day about the things I love about you but that still wouldn't be enough time, Queen. So for the sake of our guests and your feet, I'll name my top one, your heart. Our first time meeting wasn't exactly like the ones you love watching and reading about— for some stupid reason.

It was horrible, I recall blowing smoke in your face and you talking shit about me to Xavier. To this day I'm not sure why you didn't run from me the first chance you got. If I were you, I would've bolted as soon as I saw myself in the palace. Not because I'm afraid of myself, but because I can be fucking annoying.

Yet, that didn't seem to deter you. You stayed and saw something in me that I nor anyone else had. I always asked myself what it could've been but I'm left with a few options. Was it my rugged handsomeness? Or maybe it was my wonderful personality and charm. Maybe you were just stupid, Princess.

Whatever the reason was...I'm glad about it. Before you, I never cared whether or not I felt something. I was content with the empty feeling inside of me, it had been with me for 26 years and it became a part of me. But when you came along, I mean, as soon as I met you, everything inside of me screamed that I needed you.

I tried to fight it, I truly did. Call it a soulmate bond or whatever the fuck but I lost everything I knew about self-control when you came into my life. You intrigued me. Thoughts of you frustrated me. Images of you in my mind terrorized me."

I frowned as I saw the papers drop to the floor by our feet. I bent down to pick it up for him to continue but he stopped me. I hesitantly looked up at him in confusion and he cleared his throat.

"When you walked into my life, my world became all about you. You were the first thought when I woke up, and the last when I went to sleep," Syn continued as he looked at me. My breath was caught in my throat once again and if I let it out I would start crying.

"Thinking about you became one of my favorite pass times. I would think about what you were doing, what you were thinking about...if you were thinking about me...

Call it wishful thinking but I assumed you were and maybe that played a factor in my arrogance when it came to you. I may have seemed confident most of the time but you're also the first person to make me feel an emotion I've come to despise: nervousness.

I can't even talk about how many times I've wanted to ask you out but was too nervous to do so. I wish I were confident enough earlier. If I was, I would've taken you on a hundred dates," Syn stopped talking and furrowed his brows and I gave him a questioning look.

He shook his head after a few moments and brought his attention back to me. "I couldn't do it before I asked to marry you, but I will do it afterward. I promise to always never believe you when you tell me you're okay. I promise to be okay with the fact that you're a messy person."

I laughed and looked away from Syn's heavy gaze but he moved my head back to face him. "I promise to always see your true self, to always accept you no matter who you become.

We're going to live forever, and I can't expect you to not change physically, emotionally, mentally—whatever. But I swear on everything, I swear on us, that nothing will ever change the way I feel about you. I want to love with you, live with you, grow with you...spend an eternity with you.

When I was younger, my mother used to read me bedtime stories about Princes and Princesses that met and lived happily ever after. After each story, I'd ask her if I'd have my Princess one day. She told me, yes, and I never believed her but I went along with it.

I wish I had trusted her though, life would have been a lot easier knowing that I'd have you in my life one day. So I thank my mother for the fairytales because today I can finally say that, I don't have a Princess. I have a Queen," he said.

Tears streamed down my face and I was partly thankful that he didn't read this at the wedding because my cry was far from cute right now.

"I somehow managed to live 26 years without you, but from this day forward I will never leave your side; til death do us part. I will more than love you until my last dying breath and beyond."

I stepped away from Syn and cried into my hands silently. Pain was not even a word in my vocabulary right now. This didn't hurt like I thought it would. It obliterated me.

Hearing Syn's clueless words about our future and him not knowing he was about to die, was painful to hear. I turned back to Syn who recited the vows without reading them and sniffled. "You remembered?"

"I remember writing them," he said with a small laugh. "Everyone tried helping me write them and I gave them an incredibly hard time."

"Oh," I said sadly. "So you only remember writing it?"

"Yes," he said and I looked away from him. I tried not to show my disappointment but I wasn't sure that he didn't catch it. "But, I remember how I felt while writing it."

"How did you feel?" I asked in a small voice.

He looked around for the words to say and I waited patiently. I watched as the frustration on his face grew at his loss for words and he ran his hand through his hair.

"Well, more than in love with you," he answered.

I bit my lip to hold back more tears and Syn walked towards me. He cupped my face in his hands and my body shook with sobs. "I don't remember everything about you, Princess. I'm not sure I ever will."

I closed my eyes and felt him wipe tears from my cheeks. "My question to you though is, will you still love me even if I never remember?"

꧁꧂

Author's Note
Yo I freaking hate this book😭💔 but like I love it.

The vows just broke my heart bruh🤧
Syn didn't get his memories back but his feelings...ugh those are back😭
Did the vows make anyone cry or am I just weak?
Lmk your thoughts ✨